The Hope That Starts

by Heidi Hutchinson

  “Make love to me, Harrison,” she pleaded against the column of his throat. “I need you.” He growled in response, carrying her to the bedroom and doing exactly as Kiley asked.

  ***

  Harrison raised his head off of the pillow and tried focusing on the shadow moving in the dark.

  “Are you leaving?” he asked, voice heavy with sleep.

  Kiley's soft hair grazed his cheek when she dipped close to his face.

  “Yeah, I already called the car. It'll be here in a minute.”

  He reached for her in the dark, snagging her around the waist, and pulling her to him. Her arms braced on either side of his head.

  “Stay,” he demanded roughly.

  Kiley smiled sweetly. “You know we don't have that kind of a relationship.”

  “Why can't we? We could start right now,” he said, threading his fingers into her hair and tugging on the back of her neck.

  Kiley leaned closer and kissed his lips softly. “This is working for us, don't wreck it.”

  Harrison tried to swallow away the profound rejection that accompanied her words. She always left and he always ended up begging her to stay.

  The buzzer at the front door sounded and she stood back up. He didn't even try to fight it this time.

  “I'm leaving tomorrow,” he reminded her instead.

  She bent to strap her second sandal onto her perfect ankles.

  Seriously, even in the dim light of his bedroom, she was the most breathtaking woman he had ever seen. Beautiful, high class, sophisticated. No wonder she didn't want to commit to anything with him. Who was he? Just a bum who could play guitar. He couldn't offer her more than what they had right now. Maybe that was enough.

  She sat on the edge of the bed again and ran her fingers over his bare chest.

  “Will you be keeping up on your workouts?” she asked, a teasing lilt in her voice.

  “Will you come and check up on me?” he asked, grabbing her fingertips with one hand and tucking his opposite arm behind his head.

  She looked over him, desire and appreciation highlighting her face. He enjoyed knowing that he put that look there.

  “I think I might be able to arrange a few necessary business trips that coincide with your schedule. Maybe I can even deliver your next shipment of supplements myself,” she replied coyly.

  Harrison brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them softly. The buzzer sounded again.

  “Sweet dreams, handsome.” She kissed his cheek and was gone.

  Harrison listened to her heels clicking to the door, the door closing. Then the car in the street below opening up and tucking her safely inside.

  They had met at the gym in California when Harrison had been living there for the latest album recording and Mike's hiatus from life. He'd begun working out with his sister, Greta, and her husband Shane. Very quickly he'd developed a taste for it, and his body responded accordingly.

  Kiley had been in town on a business trip. She was the face and controlling director of a major fitness supplement company. Her body was impeccable, her business savvy the same. She'd approached him in the gym and they'd connected on several different levels. However, one of her business tactics was to always appear single. Her sex appeal was a major seller with the male population. So they had their fun, but nothing was official. And even less was public.

  Harrison adored her. She was funny, smart, and sexy. He knew he was the luckiest bastard in the world every time she called or texted him. He would take whatever she was willing to give him because he knew she could have anyone she wanted.

  He rolled out of the bed and tugged his jeans back on, only bothering to button them halfway. He grabbed his glasses off of the nightstand and made his way to the kitchen. Kiley would disapprove, but he was famished and he knew a sandwich would hit the spot.

  His phone buzzed on the countertop as he got all his ingredients out of the fridge.

  Kiley: Skip the mayonnaise ;)

  ***

  Zelda opened her hotel room door to the incessant knocking. Kendra, whom she had met yesterday, had her fist still raised to continue knocking.

  “Oh, good. You're awake,” she greeted.

  “Yes, but why?” Zelda asked, masking a yawn with the back of one hand.

  Kendra looked over Zelda's sleep-wrinkled appearance, taking in the mismatched pajamas (plaid bottoms, polka-dot top) and her hair that was no doubt sticking up all over the place.

  “I thought you wanted to take pictures as the buses were loading and stuff.” Kendra lifted her perfectly manicured eyebrows and smiled in sympathy.

  “Right,” Zelda responded, trying to focus through her foggy eyesight. She squinted and leaned against the door heavily. “You have the cutest nose, you know that?”

  Kendra's smile grew and she shook her head. “Do you need help getting ready?”

  “Yes, please.” Zelda smiled sleepily and held the door open to let the assistant inside.

  Kendra blazed through the room, grabbing some clothes and shoving Zelda into the bathroom. “Get cleaned up. I know you're still on West Coast time, that makes it three in the morning to you. But it's already six here and we have thirty minutes to get downstairs.”

  Zelda took the clothes and backed into the bathroom without a fight. “I'm going to need coffee, STAT,” she muttered, not bothering to close the door and just stripping from her undergarments and stepping into the shower.

  The water started out cold and hadn't really heated up before Zelda was already finished. She was glad she'd remembered to bring her own toiletries; she hated the rubbery feeling that came with using hotel soap. Plus, her hair would never forgive her.

  It's not like she had crazy tight curls that were completely unmanageable. She simply had a curly gene somewhere in her body that made her hair misbehave, especially in the humidity. It didn't curl evenly. Some curls were huge and almost glamorous, some were smaller, irregular spirals, and some pieces of hair didn't curl at all. The combination left Zelda with too much frustration and not enough patience to tame it every day.

  Sometime around her second year of high school, she had discovered the best shortcut ever. Her mother had taken her to a fancy salon in Omaha and the stylist had shown her how to use a combination of smoothing serum, mousse, and pomade to make her wild mess look purposeful. It kept it from being frizzy, and made it look like she actually gave a damn. She did, though. If she truly didn't care, she'd just shave it all off and be done with it.

  “Hey, your phone keeps ringing.” Kendra came into the bathroom and placed her cellphone on the counter. Then she bent down and gathered Zelda's dirty clothes.

  Zelda looked at the display as it rang again. Her hands were covered in pomade goop so she couldn't have answered it even if she had wanted to. It was Matt. She didn't want to.

  She really needed to change his ringtone to something more obnoxious, to warn those nearby to never answer. Maybe something by Nickelback.

  “Boyfriend?” Kendra asked, picking up the toiletries that Zelda had already used and putting them in their small case.

  “Ex,” Zelda muttered. “He's a dummy.”

  Kendra smirked and hurried out of the bathroom.

  Zelda slid into the jeans that Kendra had grabbed and then tugged the pale blue peasant top over her still wet curls. Somehow Kendra had managed to find the only clothes Zelda owned that made her look more like an adult woman than anything else. The majority of her clothing consisted of yoga pants and fandom shirts.

  “You don't need to blow-dry or anything?” Kendra asked when she came out of the bathroom.

  “Nope. Heat turns me into a Wookiee.” Zelda grabbed her necklace from the nightstand and fastened the clasp behind her neck. She straightened the pendant and looked at herself in the mirror over the dresser.

  The necklace was sterling silver, a gift from her mom and dad on her sixteenth birthday. It was a Celtic Warrior shield modeled after the Ardagh Chalice. The center was a gold and yellow stone. It
was surrounded by Celtic knots all woven together and without any ends in order to symbolize never-ending love. It sat perfectly in the hollow of her throat and was a constant reminder for her to be brave and know that she was unconditionally loved.

  “What's a Wookiee?”

  Zelda turned to look at Kendra, having never been asked that question before. At first she thought maybe the girl was joking, but her face was genuinely curious.

  “From Star Wars?” Zelda tried to remind gently. Everyone had seen Star Wars.

  Kendra shrugged.

  “It's a tall, furry humanoid from the planet Kashyyyk. Chewbacca? Han Solo's best friend and co-pilot?”

  Kendra's mouth actually fell open a little bit.

  “Oh, you're a nerd,” she said, as if that explained why in the world she had no idea what Zelda was talking about.

  “I'm not—I'm not a full nerd. I'm more of a geek,” she corrected softly, realizing Kendra didn't know the nuanced difference, and all hope Zelda had of being this girl's friend was rapidly losing ground.

  “Okay.” Kendra shrugged and zipped up the duffel that Carl had insisted Zelda use for her hotel stays instead of making the crew lug the massive Samsonite everywhere. He had also gotten her a medium-sized canvas camera bag to keep her essentials in on the road.

  She was beginning to think they might be friends. Despite his edict on day one.

  “Carl said you need coffee right away, so I set up a Keurig in the bus. You'll have to fight Harrison and Sway for it, but if you mention that you have PMS or something, they'll back off right away.”

  Zelda smiled. “How is it traveling with boys?”

  Kendra grunted as she hefted the duffel over her shoulder. “It's fine now. The beginning was hard for me. You'll learn their quirks and stuff and fit right in in about a week.”

  Zelda slung her purse over her shoulder. It was more of a messenger bag, and way too heavy for what her neck deemed appropriate. But she carried her smaller digital Nikon in it for those moments that could spring up unannounced. Carl had suggested she leave the major equipment in the bus so she wouldn't have to carry it back down right away in the morning.

  Kendra opened the door and waited for Zelda to join her in the hallway.

  “Though, seeing as you're a self-proclaimed geek, you might get along with Harrison a lot faster.”

  Zelda nodded as they made their way to the elevator. “I saw that he's reading David Warren right now.”

  Kendra snickered. “Sway wants him to read it. Harrison isn't much for reading.”

  “That's disappointing,” Zelda couldn't help uttering. She had been beyond excited that Harrison was holding a signed copy of the book she had been lusting after since its release. None of her friends had it, and money had been too tight for her to justify buying yet another book.

  Kendra looked at her sideways. “I think he's seeing someone,” she said gently.

  Zelda frowned when the elevator doors popped open. They stepped inside and faced the front.

  “I mean, it seems kind of casual, but I've heard the guys talking.”

  Zelda turned just her head. “I'm not—that's not... a thing.” She really didn't know how to articulate that Kendra had misinterpreted her words.

  “I know,” Kendra nodded quickly. “I just—I like you, you're sweet. I don't want anything to blindside you.”

  “Is this where you warn me about Sway being a womanizer?” Zelda chuckled.

  “No, Sway's actually pretty tame these days. I think it's exhaustion. He hasn't been home for longer than a week since the last tour.”

  The lift doors opened and Kendra led them both quickly across the lobby and out into the way-too-warm-to-be-healthy parking lot. She handed the duffel off to a crewmember then took two travel mugs from a young man waiting nearby. She handed one to Zelda.

  “This is for you.” She nodded to the bus they were standing in front of. “This is your bus, your bag is inside. You can choose any bunk you want that's not already occupied. You'll be able to tell, because they leave their stuff all over it. I have to get this—” she lifted the second travel mug— “to Carl. That means you're on your own. The guys will start arriving in about twenty minutes or so.”

  Zelda nodded, took the mug and then a deep breath.

  Kendra gave her a reassuring smile. “You got this.” She started to walk away, then spun back around, continuing her trajectory, only backwards. “Don't let anyone give you a hard time. Embrace your inner Wookiee.”

  Zelda briefly wondered what that would look like. She wouldn't have to wear pants, so there was that.

  “Inner Wookiee? That explains the hair.”

  Zelda spun around, startled by the male voice directly behind her.

  Harrison O'Neil, in all of his rock and roll guitarist glory, was giving her the cockiest grin from a darkly stubbled face. His brown hair was tucked under an almost worn-out ball cap, his hands were shoved in the pockets of his jeans, his blue t-shirt stretched tight across his arms and chest. The mirrored aviators were covering his dark chocolate brown eyes, making him look the absolute picture-perfect visualization for what all girls thought of when someone said “rock star.”

  Zelda, afraid to startle him as if he were a baby deer, slowly reached one hand into the bag on her shoulder. Even though she couldn't see his eyes she knew he was eying her movements suspiciously.

  “Don't move,” she whispered, more to herself than to him.

  “Okay...” He tilted his head fractionally and her breath hitched. He was delectable.

  Her fingers finally finding purchase on her digital, she pulled it free and thumbed the lens cover off. Right now she really hated the fact that she had coffee in her other hand. The corner of his mouth began to pull up slowly on one side as he watched her.

  “You can set the coffee down, Chewie.”

  “I hate you so hard right now,” she whispered, bringing the camera to her face and snapping at the exact moment he grinned at her. Good Lord, that was going to be a good picture. She snapped several more, wishing she had her other set within reaching distance. No way could this small lens pick up the light that was bouncing off of his shades and perfectly structured cheekbones.

  “I bet the ladies love you, Mister O'Neil.”

  That was something else she did. Zelda spoke to her subjects. It didn't matter if they were people, animals, or houseplants. It was part of her process. And on occasion, she could burst into song. Normally her subjects didn't respond to her quirks, but Harrison's face grew dark.

  “Okay, I can work with broody musician too. Oh, that's good, I had no idea your frown was so effective. We're just running through a whole litany of emotion.”

  “You look like a fangirl.” Sway took the mug from Zelda's hand and she continued to click away, backing up slightly to get a better view of the activity in the background.

  “I am a fangirl,” she muttered distractedly. She turned ever so slowly until Sway had entered the viewfinder.

  “It's truly not fair to the rest of the human race that the most gorgeous people on Earth end up in the same band, let alone the same city. It's like the SS Botany Bay crash landed in Boston and no one noticed.”

  “What?” Sway asked.

  Harrison snorted, his smile returning.

  “Don't tell me,” Sway continued, grimacing. “It's from like Lord of the Rings or something.”

  “Star Trek,” Harrison corrected him before Zelda could.

  “Great.” Sway nodded, though his expression said the opposite of great. “So I'll be the chump who has no idea what either of you are talking about. Awesome.”

  Zelda pulled the camera away from her face and stared at Sway. Was he truly upset by her reference, or was this that personality thing that Kendra had mentioned? Sway shrugged, rolled his eyes and headed to the bus.

  “Maybe I should explain, or apologize, or—”

  A hand on her arm stopped her.

  “He's gonna be fine,” Harrison reassured her.
She looked at his hand holding her arm, acutely aware of the heat that had spread up her shoulder to her neck and was now, no doubt, staining her cheeks a nice hot pink.

  Well, that was new.

  Harrison was unaware, clearly. Because he didn't let go. In fact, his hand loosened and drifted slowly down her forearm until his fingers were very nearly tangled in hers.

  What was she supposed to do? Did he want to hold hands? What was considered normal in this band? Maybe this was some sort of test.

  “Excellent reference, by the way.” He smiled again and she thought back to Kendra's warning that he was taken.

  Bugger.

  “Have you seen the inside of the bus yet?” he asked, his fingers still teasing the side of her palm.

  “Uh, no,” she managed to say.

  “I'll give you the walk-through.” His fingers made a decision and hooked the inside of her hand, pulling her in the direction that Sway had gone.

  But it was too much. Too many synapses firing too quickly. Her feet couldn't keep up with her head and her arms were in another reality entirely. She felt it happening and couldn't do anything to stop it. She knew the pavement was going to scuff up her hands and elbows, and if her camera made contact, it would shatter for sure. So she did what she could and twisted her back to try and protect the camera during her fall to the ground. She squeezed her eyes closed, anticipating the impact. But it never came.

  “Are you okay?”

  She opened one eye and saw her own reflection in the mirrored aviators. Wow, she looked like a dork. She tried to un-dork her face, but only found herself making even weirder expressions. Harrison had one strong arm under her back, supporting her. His other arm curled around her middle, stabilizing her. Zelda was basically horizontal with just her heels resting on the ground. She stopped her attempt at making a regular face and closed her eyes so she didn't have to see herself anymore.

  “I was falling,” she explained lamely. Then, because she couldn't resist, she peeked one eye open.

  His mouth gave a crooked smile. “I caught you.”

  “That's never happened before.”

  His smile widened. “What? The falling or the catching?”