The Hope That Starts

by Heidi Hutchinson

  No one was pissed right now.

  “I want to meet him,” Sway said calmly.

  The room was silent as they all exchanged looks of understanding and tenderness. No one was surprised by his answer. This made sense based on who Sway was.

  “When?” Blake asked, breaking the quiet of the room.

  Sway pursed his lips. “Alexa lives in L.A. She said she could arrange something if I was ready when we get there.”

  So that was why he was dealing with this part now. L.A. was two days away. They were spending three days there and only one show. Harrison wasn't sure if that was enough to meet your kid for the first time.

  “Do you want any of us to go with you?” Mike asked.

  “Well,” Sway started. “I don't want the media to get a hold of it and plaster his face all over everything. Alexa expressed a similar desire.” Sway rubbed his chin. “But she did say that if this went well, she wouldn't mind letting us have some exclusives.”

  “Generous,” Carl grumbled.

  Sway looked at Harrison when he said his next statement. “I was thinking Zelda could come along and take some pictures. It might put everyone at ease.”

  He held Harrison’s eyes even as the room erupted with opinions.

  “Are you sure she can be trusted? She's still new to this gig,” Blake said. Lucy pinched his side, but he ignored her.

  “She's good, and I know we all like her a lot, but this...” Luke said, his eyes flicking to Harrison and back to Sway.

  “She's good for it,” Harrison said, recognizing Sway's play. So he wanted declaration. He was amused, irritated and relieved all at once. Well, he was about to drop his own bomb.

  “Zelda and I are together.”

  The room got very quiet. For like a second.

  “What the hell does that mean?” Carl asked, getting to his feet.

  Harrison swallowed and looked around the room. He didn't miss Lenny and Lucy's hopeful glance at one another, or Luke's smile that he tried to hide behind his hand, or Blake and Mike suddenly very interested in their fingernails.

  “It means that I'm stupid in love with her.”

  Carl ran a hand through his hair, muttered something about paperwork and then put both hands on his hips. “And is she aware of your feelings?” he asked directly.

  Harrison's mind immediately went to the night that she'd told him she loved him. That kiss... that kiss was intense. A grin spread across his face. “Yeah, she's aware.”

  Male chuckles caused his grin to grow wider and his ears got hot.

  “Thank God for that,” Carl muttered before sitting down again. “Friggin' rock stars.”

  “So you think she'd take some pictures for me?” Sway asked, serious and hopeful all at once.

  “Yeah, I do.” Harrison nodded at his friend. “You want me to ask her?”

  “No. I'll ask.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay.”

  ***

  Zelda was a little stunned at the request.

  First, that she would be included in such an emotional event. Second, that she would be trusted with such a major thing.

  “Shouldn't you have someone you know better do this?” she asked Sway.

  He squinted at the far wall. “No, it has to be you.”

  “Why does it have to be me?” she asked with a whisper.

  He turned those bright blue eyes on her. Eyes that were usually playful and flirty. Eyes that shone with life and expression. Eyes that were now guarded, worried, tired.

  “Because you put people at ease. I have a feeling he's going to be as nervous as me, and I need you there to keep everything relaxed.”

  “Okay,” she said, then swallowed. That was a heck of a compliment. She let her eyes flick to the side where Harrison was watching with interest. Boy, was he hot.

  They'd come back from their family meeting, and Sway had wasted no preamble before asking her for a huge freaking favor. But it was the kind of favor that she was going to love doing.

  ***

  Kiley sent her last email and was getting ready to close down her laptop. On impulse she looked up Harrison's touring schedule. Interestingly enough, he was going to be in L.A. when she was.

  Maybe she could see him again.

  It had been so easy to get the extra room key from the little assistant's assistant. What was his name? Nick? She could probably get another one.

  And maybe if she was already in Harrison's room and undressed, he'd be less likely to send her away before she told him what she wanted to tell him.

  What she needed to tell him.

  Chapter 17

  Now That I've Found You

  The thing about waking up in L.A., at least for Zelda, was that it felt like she'd been gone a lot longer. It really didn't seem like she had left two short months ago. It felt like years.

  She vaguely wondered if Matt had ever moved out or if he'd turned into a squatter.

  Then there was the anticipation of disappointment. Every night since that day at the convention where Harrison had yanked her into that hallway and changed her life, he'd crawled into her bunk and they'd slept tangled together.

  Zelda read somewhere once that sleeping beside someone is far more intimate an action than even lovemaking. You're the most vulnerable when you're asleep. It's an act of complete trust.

  She'd always thought that sounded a little idealistic, if not poetic.

  But now, she was a believer.

  Waking to his kisses, his sleepy eyes, his tender caress... Zelda had never felt so important to another person. He made her feel cherished.

  But in L.A. they had separate hotel rooms. She would be rooming with Kendra like always. It would be disrespectful and far too presumptuous to spend the night together. Besides, the temptation would be far too great. And Zelda knew she wasn't ready to go there yet.

  Not that she didn't want to; oh, did she want to.

  Harrison stirred behind her, his hand flexing against the flat of her stomach. She smiled, her eyes remaining closed as she felt his lips on the back of her neck.

  “Are you awake?” he asked, his voice rumbling against her back.

  “Mm-hm,” she confirmed.

  He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, then settled back down. Something was on his mind. She could feel it the way she could feel the warmth from his body hugging her solidly.

  It could be anything. He had a lot happening in his life right now. The tour, the new album, Sway's huge personal life revelation, the newness of what they had. One thing that Zelda had learned about Harrison that she absolutely adored was that he felt deeply. Especially for the other people in his life. He might not always say it right or show it gracefully, but it was honest and pure. And she loved knowing it. Feeling it. Being a part of it.

  Her hand came over the top of his and he opened his fingers to let her lace hers together with his.

  “Tell me what you're thinking,” she whispered.

  He squeezed her hand. “I love that.”

  “What?”

  “That you ask. That you care.” He nuzzled the back of her neck. “That you know me.”

  Was it possible to swoon when you were already lying down? She didn't saying anything, she just basked in this moment.

  “I keep thinking about having to be away from you tonight, and not liking it,” he said with a small sigh. “But at the same time, I feel like it's the right thing to do. Then I wonder if that makes me an asshole.”

  She let go of his hand and rolled over to face him. His hand stayed on her, resting on her hip. She smiled at his sleepy brown eyes and messy hair.

  “It doesn't make you an asshole,” she said.

  His eyes studied her, his hand on her hip absently stroking a soft circle with his thumb. He didn't believe her.

  “It is the right thing to do,” she said, hating that it was true, but knowing they both needed to hear it.

  He nodded, a soft crease developing in between his eyebrows. “Why, though? Why is it t
he right thing? I know it...” He narrowed his eyes in thought. “But I can't rationalize it.”

  She touched his face, tracing the rough softness of his beard, brushing the hair off his forehead. Her eyes watched her movements, then came back to his gaze. “Because what we have is different.”

  His face relaxed, his tension eased, and his eyes warmed. “Yeah.”

  “It's not normal,” she went on. “It's...”

  “Sacred,” he finished.

  Her whole body was humming. It was awake and alive and very much in love.

  His hand left her hip and brushed some of her hair back. He watched it. Then he looked at her. It was a rush. A steady thrill. A constant intoxication. So light yet so intense.

  “I think being away will hurt like hell,” he said, his voice dropping to an even lower frequency. His finger trailed down her hairline, her neck, traced the chain of her necklace. He grasped the pendent with his thumb and forefinger, studying it for a moment. “But I'll miss you. And I need to know what that feels like, too.” His eyes slid back to hers and his gaze heated. “I can honestly say I've never felt like this before.”

  “Me neither,” she said. Her cheeks had grown hot and she smiled because she had to do something, otherwise she was going to disintegrate on the spot.

  “But it's more than the kissing and the touching,” he continued. “It's like... we were designed with the other in mind.” Her heart picked up speed and force, pounding out like a rock ballad. “And now... we've found each other. The search is over.”

  “I assumed there would be more feats of strength,” she said.

  His face split into a grin. “And there you go again, proving my theory right.”

  She smiled, her body wiggling closer to him of its own accord as he took her in his arms. Sheltering, holding, loving.

  “What else are you worried about?” she asked into his chest.

  “Sway.” His fingers threaded into her hair again and again. He sighed. “I hope he's doing the right thing.”

  “Me too,” she whispered.

  “And my sister wants to meet you,” he added.

  Zelda's eyes flew open and she stared at nothing as her stomach got tight.

  His chuckle vibrated against her entire body and he hugged her head closer to his chest. “I actually felt the panic attack start to happen.”

  “What? I wasn't panicking,” she lied, her voice squeaky. She cleared her throat, hoping to make it sound more even. “We just haven't talked about meeting each other's families yet. That seems like a very big step.”

  Harrison's fingers threaded deeper into her hair and tugged her head back so he could look into her face.

  “I love you. I've never said those words to anyone before. Meeting our families is just tying up loose ends at this point.”

  Tears burned the back of her eyes and she inhaled as slowly as she could. “What you're talking about... It's huge.”

  “It's forever,” he corrected.

  Wetness spilled from her eyes and she silently cursed herself for having such a reaction. This shouldn't be that big of a deal. It was just words. People said words all the time.

  But it wasn't just words.

  It was a promise.

  She never thought—how could she? Nothing significant in her life had ever happened that was this... enormous.

  “It's too fast,” she said at last. But it wasn't an argument. It was a question. She had to know if this was too fast. If it was too good and too real, and was it even real at all?

  He heard the questions she didn't ask because he kissed the tears from her cheeks and smiled in a way that only Harrison O'Neil could smile. With joy and purity and truth, just like every great hero in every great story. Except this was her story and he was her hero.

  “I've been looking for you my whole life,” he whispered. “I'm sorry it took me so long to find you.”

  ***

  Harrison finished off his muffin and crumpled the paper wrapper in his hand. He glanced at the clock in the lobby and wondered again how long it would take for Sway to get from North Hollywood back to the hotel. He should be back by now.

  Sway had wanted to go alone to see and talk to Alexa. They were going to have lunch at a neutral location, talk logistics, and then Sway would meet his son tomorrow.

  So Harrison had finished unpacking in his suite and gone down to wait for his friend to return. He sensed that Sway would want to talk. Whether talk him out of it or into it, Harrison had no clue.

  The idea was scary. And insane.

  That a woman could show up out of the blue and produce a walking, talking, spitting-image of one of them. The timing was weird too, Harrison didn't trust it. Maybe he just couldn't relate.

  Sway was taking it so seriously.

  He was like a different person this past week. Quiet. Contemplative. Reserved. He'd gravitated to Zelda's soothing energy, sticking close to her, but not really saying anything.

  “Are you waiting for me, or...” Sway interrupted Harrison’s distracted thoughts.

  “You,” he answered, standing up and shoving the crushed muffin wrapper in his pocket.

  Sway looked tired. Bloodshot eyes, dark circles, hair dull. But his shoulders were straight and strong even with his hands shoved in the pockets of his light blue jeans.

  “How did it go?” Harrison asked.

  “Good.” Sway smiled to himself and then chuckled lightly as he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “I probably shouldn't have let Alexa get away all those years ago, but other than that, it was good.”

  Sway took a seat in one of the chairs in the alcove and Harrison joined him.

  “What's she been doing?”

  Sway watched the people filter in and out of the elevators nearby for a minute. “She went back to school, got a degree. She's a music teacher in an elementary school.” That smile was still there, secret and small. “She's married to an architect. Nice guy. He was there, too.”

  “Whoa,” Harrison said, not expecting that.

  “Yeah, the guy is cool as hell,” Sway admitted with a short laugh. “She did well for herself.”

  “So...” Harrison said, letting it hang in the air.

  “Where do I fit in?” Sway finished. He shook his head while closing his eyes. “I have no idea. They've only been married for four years, but James is the only dad the kid's ever known.”

  Harrison frowned. Then why were they bringing Sway in? What purpose did that serve? Harrison's unease intensified.

  Sway glanced up and caught Harrison’s facial expression. He chuckled, his smile widening. “Don't worry, it makes sense to me.”

  Harrison pursed his lips, but didn't say anything. Sometimes it was better for him if he just kept his mouth shut, he had a tendency to say things before he'd really thought them through, and it made him look stupid.

  “I know you're worried, but it's totally cool,” Sway said.

  “When are you going to meet him?”

  “Tomorrow,” came the immediate answer. “We're gonna get something to eat and then...” he shrugged. “Talk, I guess.”

  “And you really don't want to get a DNA test?” Harrison asked, knowing the answer.

  “It would just tell me what I already know,” Sway said quietly. His face went pensive, thoughtful as his eyes dropped to the floor and lost focus. “I wish she had told me sooner.”

  ***

  “What's the problem? You did it before?” Kiley screwed up her face and glared at the young blond man in front of her.

  “I got in really big trouble for that last time!” Nick hissed. He grabbed her arm and pulled her around the corner behind the back of one of the many equipment trucks. Kiley yanked her arm away and then crossed both arms over her chest.

  “You won't get into trouble this time,” she said, not caring that it probably wasn't true.

  He was shaking his head aggressively. “No. Not doing it.”

  Kiley rolled her eyes and sighed out loud. “Fine. What r
oom is he in? I'll find my own way.”

  Nick narrowed his eyes at her. “Look, lady, maybe you should move on. If he won't tell you himself, I'm thinking he probably has a reason.”

  Kiley ground her teeth together. Harrison still hadn't returned any of her texts. Not one. And not from her lack of trying. She'd been texting him several times a day. Maybe his phone was broken though. They both had iPhones, so she could conveniently check to see when he'd read them, and so far he hadn't.

  “I want to surprise him” she said instead.

  Nick smirked. “I bet. You know he has a girlfriend, right?”

  “Yeah, me,” she snapped.

  Nick laughed. “Uh, no. Not you.” He looked around, and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Look, I have to get back to work. You should probably take off before security catches you.”

  Then he walked away. Sauntered was more like it. Punk kid.

  Kiley wasn't going to panic. She just wasn't. She was going to find someone else.

  A wave of nausea hit her suddenly and she breathed deeply until it passed.

  No, she wasn't going to panic.

  She popped a sour lemon candy into her mouth, took a few more deep breaths, then tried calling Harrison directly.

  ***

  “Groupie alert,” Nick said when he was close enough to Kendra for her to hear him.

  Her head snapped to attention and she scanned the area for interlopers.

  It wasn't impossible, but it was rare. The occasional fan would get a wild hair and start trying to climb into equipment trucks or buses. The security was usually very good at keeping them away, but sometimes one slipped through.

  Nick jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Hopefully she's gone by now. It was that Kiley chick trying to get another key from me.”

  Kendra's limbs stiffened with the reminder that she was still pissed at Nick for that entire incident. “Did you get her one?” she asked acidly.

  He grimaced. “No. But she's not going to give up on it.”

  Kendra clenched her hand into a tight fist at her side. “I hate that girl.” She pressed her lips together and tried to focus on her clipboard, but it was pointless.

  “You should have gotten fired for that, you know,” she stated the obvious. Looking back to Nick, she saw a muscle in his jaw jump, but other than that he didn't react. “What if she had been really batshit crazy?”