I’ve just finished my last bump run of the day and have a lower trail to ski to get to the locker room. The snow near the bottom of the mountain is slushy. Water seeps into my boots as I turn though the moist mixture. I’ve noticed instructors with duct tape on their boots to seal the seams, and I understand why.
It must be fifty degrees at the bottom, and my face is tight from too much sun. Most instructors have a thin layer of white on our skin because of the zinc-oxide-infused sunscreen, but we seem to tan in spite of it.
I ski by the lift and see the two lifties are down to T-shirts. Arms bronze from the sun, Aaron waves to me. He spends a lot of time helping us get kids on the lift safely, and I enjoy his good humor.
Heather walks toward to the locker room, and I pull up near her. I say, “Another gorgeous day. Spring here is fantastic.”
“It sure is. But I get sad this time of year.” Heather’s steps look like she wades through sand.
“Why’s that?” Moisture seeps through my fleece and onto my shoulder from the wet skis I’m carrying.
“Most of you leave me here, and town’s lonely in the summer.” Her hair is sun-bleached from walking around without a helmet on, and the golden highlights intensify her pale blue eyes.
“I’m not leaving this year. I’m working at the indoor ice rink.”
“Really? Oh that’s great news. One more friend.” Her face perks up, and I can tell she means it.
“Want to learn to figure skate? I’m teaching an adult-only class. I think it’ll be fun.” We descend the metal steps toward the locker room. Water runs in little rivers around the foundation.
“That does sound fun. Maybe I will.”
As we walk through the door, I notice the poster on the bulletin board for Kaleb and Gretchen’s snowboard movie. It’s a heavily Photoshopped image of Gretchen in the air. I ask, “Are you going to the Hit the Wall screening tonight?” The producers are renting a convention room at a big chain hotel in town, and all employees of Breck as well as friends of the cast are invited to see the movie before it’s released to the public.
“Wouldn’t miss it. Tell Kaleb I’m proud of him.” She heads toward her office while I turn into my aisle.
Jason is locking up when I do. His eyes twinkle amidst the freckles on his face. “Kaleb home primping for his big night?”
I smile. “Probably. That man has to look good for his adoring fans.”
He winks at me. “As long as he’s with you, he’s looking good. I’ll see you tonight.”
I shake my head and call out as he’s walking away. “You’re shameless.”
He calls back. “I know, but the ladies love it.” I hear him chuckle, and I pull off my helmet.
Kaleb is working the afternoon so he can have tonight off. He’s coming to get me at six for the screening, and then there’s a party at his house. I peel off my damp fleece and hang it in my locker. I know it’ll be dry in the morning.
I asked him if he knew what was in the movie, and he said all he was told was that they used some of his footage. I’m excited for him and Gretchen. This should be a fun night.
A chill gives me goose bumps as the spring breeze hits my sweaty zip-neck. I put on my dry fleece and wiggle into loose jeans that easily fit over my long underwear.
I smile as I think about his poster. He was told to be prepared for public appearances this spring as the movie debuts at area mountains. He will spend hours signing posters, and I’m sure he curses Gretchen daily.
When I pick my way through the puddles in the parking lot, I hear a low rumble. My attention turns to the mountain range, and I witness an avalanche. An awesome sight from where I stand, but I can’t help sense the ominous presence of danger. I’ve heard that when you get caught in one, you see it coming and can’t do anything in time to save yourself. The thought makes tiny hairs rise on my skin.
Chapter Forty-Nine
When I heard I was going to a movie screening, the red carpet and gorgeously dressed movie stars came to mind. I worried about what to wear, but fortunately I have a great friend like Megan who informed me that a snowboard movie is an entirely different affair. Jeans and flannel will be in full force, and she joked that showing off my new tattoo would be of utmost importance. I put on jeans and a pretty sweater. With no plans of a tattoo in my future, I’ll be practically invisible. Just the way I like it.
I hear Kaleb knock and open up to my sexy man. His skin looks radiant with the sun he’s been getting, and it makes his lips look even more delectable. He’s in his usual tight tee under an open flannel shirt, and I drink him in with my eyes.
I slip my hand under the flannel to press against his chest as I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him. I ask, “Nervous?”
“A little. But I only have a small part. The attention will be on Gretchen and Cooper. Wait till you see—from the sounds of it, the terrain they rode was pretty sick.”
I grab my coat, and we’re out the door. Kaleb needs to be there early to meet with the marketing guy. I guess they have a few things they want to discuss with the snowboarders in the movie.
We arrive at the Hyatt and enter the lobby. My boot heels click on the tile floor. It’s practical flooring, considerate of the amount of ski boot traffic, and the Oriental rugs, overstuffed chairs, and warm fire keep it from feeling too industrial. People mill about while we wait for the movie to start. I smile when I see just how right Megan was about what to wear.
Gretchen yells to us. “Kaleb! Over here!” We head toward long, flowing white-blond hair. She has on tight jeans cut so low I wonder if she’s wearing any panties. Her shirt is too short to meet the waistband, and a belly-button ring that glitters draws attention to her cut obliques.
“Wow, Gretch. You look—” I pause and glance to see who’s around us. Lowering my voice, I continue. “Fucking hot.”
Her eyes twinkle. “You’re getting it, cupcake. But you know, as a role model, that language is unacceptable. I can’t speak like that, and frankly, I’m a little surprised at you.”
I snicker and Gretchen says, “I’m super nervous for this. I just heard we’re supposed to sign autographs afterward. Who’d want my autograph?”
I tap my lip, look up in the sky, and say, “I can think of a hundred or so guys.” I reach out and twirl a strand of her hair around my finger. “I’m so proud of you. Promise to still be my friend when you’re famous?”
She winks at me. “Always.” Her attention gets drawn to someone behind me. “Cooper!” She waves her arm, which hikes her shirt up a little more. She looks back at us. “Ted’s here, too. It’s show time.”
Cooper is on the thin side with longer hair that swoops over one eye. He pulls Gretchen sideways against his body by her waist and nuzzles her neck. That’s kind of a friendly hello. I look at his hand on her bare skin and think there might be something she hasn’t told me. He’s not my type, but I can see the appeal. I raise my eyebrows at her.
She shrugs but steps away from him. Uh-huh.
Gretchen says, “Cooper, this is Lori, Kaleb’s girlfriend.” She looks at me. “Cooper is from Vail.”
He holds out a hand. “Nice to meet you.” I’m surprised by his manners and his kind smile.
“You too,” I say.
An older man in a pressed white Oxford shirt with jeans joins us and introduces himself as Ted. He shakes hands all around and tells Kaleb, Cooper, and Gretchen they can sit anywhere for the movie but to be outside the room as soon as they see the credits roll. They put in bloopers, which will keep people in their seats a few minutes longer. This will allow the snowboarders time to get to the autograph table to sign the movie posters that have sold.
Kaleb asks, “Do I need to be at the table?”
Ted smiles at us with a mouth full of straight, white teeth that make me think of an inspirational speaker. He says, “Oh yeah. Girls will want your autograph. We brought the Burton posters for you.” He hands Kaleb two Sharpies. “You’re about to become a star.”
I squeez
e Kaleb’s hand and let out a little squeal. “My rock star.” But when I look into his eyes I don’t see the same excitement. I see fear.
Chapter Fifty
Ted leads us into an elevator and pushes the button for the ballroom. We exit to a plush leaf-patterned carpet that muffles our steps. I see the tables set up for the signing and one for the poster sales. Numerous cardboard boxes are stacked behind the sales desk, and I wonder just how many posters they plan to sell.
Ted walks them through how things will work. He pulls open the door to the ballroom, and we walk into a large space set up with padded metal chairs. This is so not Hollywood. A huge white screen hangs from the ceiling.
Gretchen fidgets and says, “I’m so nervous. Where should we sit?”
Cooper walks toward the chairs. “How about the middle?”
We all follow him while Ted unlocks the doors. Moments after we sit, people begin to file in. The calm, vast room quickly becomes a quivering crowd of excitement.
People stop to talk to us, and the half hour before lights dim is full of laughter. Kaleb seems to have relaxed, and when the room hushes and the film rolls, his hand calmly slides in mine. I reach on my other side and give Gretchen’s a squeeze, too.
A deep voice narrates the footage as we watch snowboarders ride down incredible terrain that makes my stomach flip. When Gretchen, Cooper, or Kaleb are on the screen people shout their name. I suppose it’s for the benefit of all who watch, but I suspect it’s also because people are proud to know the amazing athletes.
The movie is near the end, and the film turns to off-snow activities. There are some funny scenes with the snowboarders goofing around and one with Gretchen making selfie faces into the camera. She hides in her hands with embarrassment, but takes the comments yelled out well.
As the film shows a bar scene, Kaleb tenses and under her breath Gretchen says, “Fuck.”
The narrator starts to explain body shots. The screen closes in on Kaleb and he takes off his T-shirt. There’s a loud gasp of females in the audience as his ripped chest is revealed. People laugh at the reaction, and heat rises to my cheeks.
Kaleb lies back on a bar and Gretchen enters the scene with something in her hands. I watch as she squeezes a lime and juice dribbles onto Kaleb’s chest. Jealousy seeps into my veins. I look at her, and she shakes her head. Her eyes capture mine and terror is written on her face.
Shit. I don’t think I want to know what’s coming. Gretchen’s tongue fills the screen as she licks the hollow of Kaleb’s shoulder. Kaleb groans beside me and grabs on to my hand. He whispers, “I’m sorry, babe.”
The desire to run from the room is strong, and I let Kaleb’s tight grip keep me from leaving. It would only cause a scene, and I’m humiliated enough right now. I continue to watch in horror as Gretchen licks salt from Kaleb’s shoulder and does a shot of tequila. The finale is her dragging her tongue up Kaleb’s chest to lick the juice; while the voice alludes to the other places her mouth goes.
Gretchen grabs my hand just before the credits start to roll. Her fingers hold strong and she says in a loud whisper, “Fuck, Lori. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Please don’t hate me.”
I close my eyes and try to calm my shaking body. I croak out, “I don’t.” But right now I do. What the hell? They were doing body shots with each other in a bar? I force myself to think of a graceful way to leave. The last thing I want is to be noticed. My days with the media will always haunt me. The stories about Lucas and me were fodder for the tabloids months after I disappeared from the skating scene. Paparazzi made me long to be invisible. But I’m not, and I force my face to look relaxed.
How do I escape this? I have no ride, and Kaleb is about to spend an hour or more signing his poster chest for girls who want to do their own body shot. No way can I watch that.
Kaleb pulls me into a hug. “Just remember that was one of your best friends, and she loves you. We weren’t thinking, I swear. It wasn’t how it looked.”
I tense in his embrace as my stomach threatens to expel its contents. I want to believe it was nothing, but evil jealousy has invaded my mind. I push him away and shake my head. I know he sees the tears struggling to fall. Anguish floods his face as rage brews in my belly. He says, “Babe, I love you more than anything. Nothing happened between us. Please, don’t let this hurt you.”
I nod because words fail me and am saved from more by Casey. She punches Gretchen hard in the arm and pushes Kaleb aside. Her voice is stern. “You two go sign your damn posters.” She pulls me out of the chair by my hands and says, “Come with me.” Jason, Megan, and Nick are in the aisle, and they flank me as if they’re my bodyguards. The room is still dark, and I avoid any eyes that watch us leave. I hold my head high as if we’re just leaving early to avoid the crowd.
Without a word they walk me to the elevator. The moment the door closes Casey pulls me in a hug, and I let the tears fall. Megan pats my hair, and I can tell they have a lot to say, but everyone remains quiet for my sake.
My boots punish the tile floor with their hard heels as we walk through the lobby. Nick opens the door for us, and cold air slaps me in the face. I welcome it. Frost sparkles on the asphalt as we walk to Jason’s truck.
Casey can’t stay quiet. “I can’t believe they did that. Fucking Gretchen.”
I hear myself defend them. “They didn’t know it would be in the movie.” What’s wrong with me? Gretchen licked a half-naked Kaleb in a bar, and he let her. My stomach lurches.
“No, I’m sure they didn’t,” Casey says. “I’m just so pissed that she didn’t consider the consequences of her drunk actions.”
Megan says, “They both looked really drunk.” She sighs. “I know it’s not an excuse, but…”
“But nothing. They both suck right now,” says Casey.
We’re at Jason’s truck, and Nick kisses my cheek. “Kaleb loves you. He was being a stupid guy. You know that, right?”
“I know.”
Megan gives me a hug, too. “Text me if you need anything.”
I smile at her. “I will. Thanks for rescuing me, guys.”
Casey gets in first and lets me sit by the door. The cold leather seat seeps through my jeans, and I lean my face against the chilly window.
Jason starts the engine and asks, “Where do you want to go?”
Good question, certainly not the party. “Home.”
Casey speaks. “Look, I know nothing happened between them. Gretchen would have told me. She can be a bitch, but she would never do anything to hurt you. She knew you weren’t over Kaleb.” She turns the heat down and adjusts the vent. “Besides, Kaleb was still in love with you. It didn’t mean anything.”
“I know that in my heart. But I feel so humiliated.” I hold my hand up to the heat vent to warm my cold fingers.
Jason says, “Don’t. Think of it as acting. They were playing a part for a film. You know it wasn’t their idea. The producer was probably completely sober and used their drunken state to his advantage.”
When he puts it that way it seems a little better. Not good by any stretch, but better. I say, “Thanks. That helps.”
When we pull into my driveway Casey asks, “Do you want us to stay for a while? I could sleep over and watch movies with you.”
It makes me smile. “No, but you’re so sweet to offer. I’ll be okay.” I look at Jason. “Thanks for the ride.”
He reaches across Casey to put his hand on my arm. “Anytime. I’ll wait until you get inside.”
I slam the truck door and hear a solid clunk. The bright floodlights cast an ominous shadow of me as I walk up the stairs. I pull out my key and stare at it for a moment. When I get inside I flash to the memory of Tara’s hand when she dropped Kaleb’s car key. The crack on the ice sounds in my head, and I remember.
I’m handcuffed to the bench beside the ice. It’s cast iron, and there’s no way I can move it. Right now I would drag it with me into the warm house if I could. Lucas made a backyard rink so I could get more ice t
ime, and this bench is where he sits to coach me.
But he’s not coaching me now. I’m being punished. A drunken version of Lucas thought I needed to be taught a lesson. What lesson it is, I’m not sure. I did everything right. I made the Olympic team, yet he’s angry. I fear I’ll be out here all night while he sleeps off his scotch.
The lesson I’m learning right now is how to stay warm with limited mobility. Lucas kicked me so hard my ribs scream in torment with every normal breath I take. I think he broke them. I almost pant as I try not to jar them with movement.
I’m afraid to sleep and freeze to death, so I do leg lifts, clench my butt, and anything else I can think of to keep blood flowing without causing too much pain.
I know I have to stop this. This relationship isn’t normal, and I’m in trouble. His anger scares me, and the way he beat me today went too far.
I should just walk away. Go home and leave Lucas. Don’t be that girl. It should be easy, right? But it’s not. He tells me I’ll kill him if I do. He says he can’t live without me, and he would find a way to die if he couldn’t have me.
My shivering gets violent and it hurts. My body is too tired to exercise more. Tears fall as I fight to get warm.
I used to love him so much that his dying would have killed me too. I wanted to believe him when he said to me “no more,” that he meant it. That he was sorry for hurting me.
But I’ve realized that isn’t true. Tomorrow Lucas will wake up and be ashamed of what he’s done to me this time. He’ll pull me into his arms and kiss me everywhere. Tell me I’m the most beautiful girl and lavish me with affection. He’ll wash me in the bath and ask me to love him. And I will because I’m too afraid to do otherwise. To set him off again.
Our sex will be tender, and when he comes he’ll scream my name. He’ll treat me as if this is what we do, and nothing bad ever happens between us.
What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 7) Page 158