Lucas is so broken, and I used to believe I was the one that could fix him. We both believed it to be true, and I needed to be strong. To be his star and make it all right.
If only he would wake up and come get me. I’ve stopped shivering now, and I’m so tired. I’m no longer cold, and it would be so easy to sleep. I shake my head as a vision appears. No, it’s not a vision. It’s Lucas. He stumbles toward me in just his briefs.
“Get yourself inside,” he says. He throws something at me, and I hear it crack on the ice. The key. But it’s too far away to reach.
“Lucas!” I hear the door slam and he’s gone.
I hug myself and think about how I almost died that night. Hypothermic and confused, I could have easily fallen asleep. But something in me snapped and forced me to fight, to try to stay alive. I figured out a way to save myself. I managed to get my pants off and throw them out to reach the key, and drag it all back in with my feet. If I hadn’t, I surely would have died.
The next day he did what he always did. He apologized and said he would never hurt me again. This time I refused to believe him and plotted how to leave. That night I waited for him to fall asleep and called my mother to come get me. I saved myself.
I look at the key I’ve been clenching in my hand so tightly it hurts. I hold the key. I control my happiness. Pride and jealousy can keep me captive, or I can release the lock that binds me.
I sink into my couch and pull a pillow against my chest. I know Kaleb loves me, and so does Gretchen. What I saw on that screen wasn’t real. What’s real is the way Kaleb continues to empower me by helping me overcome my fears and reach my goals. He has taught me to love with passion, and to let someone love me without demands or shame.
I know what I need to do.
Chapter Fifty-One
Grabbing my coat and keys, I walk out the door. The clunk of one single lock is like a signal to announce I’m ready. The sound of my boots on the asphalt beat out a strong cadence as I make my way to my truck. I climb in and look ahead at the road from my high position. I have the power to make my life what I want it to be.
I pull out my phone and send Kaleb a text. “U done signing yet? On my way to ur house.”
“Soon. Wait in my room?”
I type in a reply. “Kk.”
I shift into drive and am about to turn onto the bumpy back road when another text comes in from Kaleb. I sneak a look at it and read, “I love u. I love u so much it hurts. Please let us be okay.”
I smile to myself and focus on avoiding the potholes. We will be.
When I get to Kaleb’s house, cars are parked along both sides of the road. It’s already a big party, and the noise penetrates through my closed windows. I text Kaleb to ease his mind. “I love u 2.”
Music is loud, and a Great Big World’s “Say Something” is playing. I hum along, and on one line my throat gets tight. I’ll never give up on you, Kaleb. My emotions are on the edge, and I can’t wait to see him.
His house is like a big lodge. It’s built in a log-cabin style with a large wrap-around porch. When I push through the oversized door, the noise is even louder. I enter a great room. It’s two stories high with old skis and boards hanging down from the ceiling like one huge mobile. Right now they sway to the music.
People dance on the wood floor. Bill is the first person to notice me. Even though he’s dancing he yells to me. “Lori! Where’s Kaleb?”
“He’ll be here in a bit. He’s still signing posters.” I walk by him and toward the kitchen, knowing that’s where I’ll find a cup for the keg. After the night I’ve had, I think a beer would taste good. I find the package of Solo cups and write my name on one with a Sharpie.
The odor of the pen makes me think about Kaleb signing posters and hundreds of girls flirting with him while he does. Yeah, I’m sure I wouldn’t have enjoyed that no matter what had happened. I grab a cup for him and put his name on it. I guess he’ll have had enough of writing by the time he gets here.
The door to the deck is right off the kitchen. It’s open and I wander through to find the keg. There’s a breeze, and it blows my hair away from my face. Megan calls out, “Lori!” She stands with Casey, and I walk over.
Casey says, “I’m surprised to see you here. You’re okay?” She touches my arm in her caring way.
“I am. You guys were right. I trust them and know it means nothing.” When it comes out of my mouth in words, I acknowledge it to be true.
Megan says, “Wow. I’m so impressed. I’m not sure I could be so strong.”
“I think you might surprise yourself, Megan. I really do.” I give her a knowing smile and see she understands. I’m not sure if she’s an abuse survivor, but she certainly comprehends the significance of my words.
“I’m going to get two beers and wait for Kaleb in his room.” I wink at them and walk away. I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone but Kaleb right now. I pump the keg, and pressure builds. I tilt a cup, and the amber liquid fills it quickly with minimal foam.
I take a sip and let the slightly metallic flavor of cheap beer surround my tongue. The chill going down my throat further calms my nerves. I fill Kaleb’s cup and move back to the house. I see a few people I know but only give them a quick hello and keep moving.
The bedrooms are on the second floor. There’s a rope tied across the stairway to keep people from going up. I duck under it and climb. Three doors are on each side of the hall, and a loft is at the end. I find Kaleb’s door and let myself in with my key.
I detect a hint of his unique scent and breathe it in. A pile of tees and button-up shirts are on the bed. Apparently he couldn’t decide what to wear, and it makes me smile.
I set our beers down on his dresser and pick up a shirt. The worn cotton of the navy tee carresses my hands as I fold it. I look at the pile and find I want to fold them all. The simple chore calms me.
Cheers erupt downstairs, and I guess Kaleb is home. It sounds like Gretchen and Cooper arrived as well. I’m not sure how long it will take for him to get upstairs, so I grab a hanger to start on the flannel and Oxford shirts.
Within minutes, footsteps pound down the hall toward me. I turn to the door in anticipation.
Kaleb steps in, shuts the door with his foot, and quickly comes to me. He takes my face in his hands. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how awful that was for you. Please, forgive me?”
I hold on to his arms as his eyes bore into me. “I have.”
He pulls me into a hug. He shakes slightly, and I realize he was afraid to see me. He drops his hands and turns away. I watch him walk toward his bed. He says, “You folded these?”
“Yeah, I couldn’t help myself.” I wring my hands.
“Thank you.” He takes the pile of tee shirts and puts them in a drawer.
I can tell he’s stalling. But I’m patient and wait for him to speak. I pick up my beer.
The drawer thumps shut, and he turns to look at me. Agony flashes in his eyes.
“So, that night in the bar. I was talking to Gretchen about us. I was miserable, thinking about how stupid I was to have lost you. Drinking shots of tequila seemed like a good way to get past my suffering.”
He moves slowly toward me. “It was our last night, and at that point the cameras had been filming our every move for days. People had been telling me what to do and expecting me to do it.”
I move to the bed and climb up on it. His comforter is thick, and I sink into it and let it embrace my bottom and thighs.
Kaleb continues. “It was natural to do what I was asked and not think about it. One of the guys told me to take off my shirt, and I did. I was pretty drunk, and when Gretchen asked me to lie back so she could do a shot off my chest, I didn’t care.”
He sits on the bed next to me and takes my hands. “You have to believe me when I tell you I forgot all about it until tonight. If I’d known, I would have warned you. Gretchen would have, too. She thinks the world of you, Lori.”
I reach up and cup his
cheek in my hand. He leans into it as I speak. “I believe you. I know you didn’t expect to see that in the movie. Just like I know nothing happened between you and Gretchen.” Relief fills his eyes. “I’m okay with this, really.”
He stares at me for a moment. I’m not sure if it’s to see if I’m telling the truth or because he doesn’t know what to say. He speaks. “I don’t deserve you. If that had been you on the screen?” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure how I’d be handling it right now.”
“You’d do your best to understand. Because you know how much I love you and you trust me to be truthful. I wasn’t even your girlfriend when it happened. Technically, you did nothing wrong, Kaleb.”
A low sound comes from his throat. I take a sip of my beer and continue. “My pride was hurt tonight, and I was jealous. Really jealous, and I let myself feel humiliated. But once I got past my insecurities, I realized I was being foolish. It’s just a movie designed to entertain.” A grin covers my face. “And boy did you. Did you hear those girls when you took off your shirt?”
Kaleb closes his eyes, and I see a flush in his cheeks. I lean close and whisper in his ear. “You’re hot. And now everyone knows it.”
I nibble on his earlobe and pull away to set my beer down on his nightstand. He wraps his arms around me, lays me down on his bed, and climbs over me. “All of it is for only you, babe.”
Chapter Fifty-Two
We’re hungry for each other, and our kiss devours us. I want him so badly but can’t get past the noise of the party. His hand is hot on my skin when he reaches for the button on my jeans. I stop him. My entire body screams at me for doing it. I say, “People are downstairs. I can’t relax. What if they hear us?”
His voice rumbles with desire. “They won’t hear us, it’s too loud.” He pulls my sweater off and kisses his way down my chest.
“Is your door locked?” I hold his head before he can get to my breast.
Hot breath tickles me. “Yes.”
My hand stops pushing, and he takes my nipple into his mouth. I groan. “But…” I lose my train of thought and give in to my lust. I pull his shirt up, and he removes it. I let out an exaggerated gasp and then giggle.
“Should I find some tequila?” Kaleb asks as his eyes twinkle in amusement.
“Naw, I like you straight up.” I flip him over and lick my way up his chest. I stop when I get to his neck. “You should probably be downstairs right now. People want to congratulate you. Some of that footage was amazing.” I suck his earlobe and whisper. “You’re a great snowboarder.”
He gently pushes me away so he can see my face. “You want to go downstairs when I could be going downtown instead?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me, and I figure out what he means.
Heat rises to my cheeks. “Well no, but it’s your night.”
“And what I want to do is right here. But way overdressed.” He reaches for my button, but loud banging on his door interrupts us.
“Kaleb!” It’s Gretchen.
He groans. “If we ignore her, maybe she’ll go away.”
Gretchen yells louder. “Kaleb, open up. I need to talk to Lori.”
I grab my sweater and pull it over my head. “Get dressed. She won’t go away.”
He sighs and yells, “Hang on!” Kaleb pulls his tee over his head as he goes to the door. Before he opens it, he looks at me to make sure I’m decent. I nod.
Gretchen moves past him and sits next to me on the bed. “I’m a total jerk. I’m so sorry about what I did. I didn’t think. I was just hamming it up for the camera and didn’t consider the consequences.” Her face is clouded with distress. “Please don’t hate me.”
She chews on a nail, and I pull her hand out of her mouth. “I don’t hate you. It’s okay. I’m fine.”
“You’re not mad at me?” Her brow is furrowed as if she doesn’t believe me.
Kaleb sits behind me on the bed and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “No,” I say. “I was, but I realize it was stupid. I wasn’t even Kaleb’s girlfriend when you did that. I know it was great for the movie, and I get why they used it.”
“You do?” Gretchen shakes her head. “Can you hit me or something? You’re being way too easy on me.”
“Seriously, it’s fine.” I cuddle a little deeper against Kaleb’s chest.
“Cupcake, you’re pretty amazing.”
Kaleb kisses my neck and says, “Yes, she is.” He sits up and says to Gretchen, “And you need to leave now. I have plans for this girl.”
“Oh, no you don’t. You need to be downstairs. Duty calls.” She takes my hand. “C’mon and dance with me.”
She’s right. He should celebrate tonight. I turn and look at Kaleb. I mouth the word, “later” and drop my eyes to his crotch.
His eyelids lower and my insides flex. I turn back to Gretchen. “Give me a minute to pull myself together.” I slip into my boots and finger comb my hair.
“You’re fine, c’mon. The music is calling.” Gretchen starts to swing her hips.
“Okay, okay.” I say, “Keep your shirt on.” I wink at Kaleb.
She snorts. “That’s your boyfriend’s problem.”
“It’s staying on. Trust me; I’m not getting naked for anyone but Lori from now on.” Kaleb pinches my butt, and I squeal.
Gretchen prances down the stairs, and I dance along with her. She finds Cooper and drags him onto the dance floor with Kaleb and me. Cooper handles the challenge well, and he and Gretchen move fluidly together.
Kaleb dances behind me, and I wonder how I’m supposed to keep myself from grinding my butt into him. We’re inches apart, and my entire body can sense his presence. The music makes the floor vibrate under our feet.
He leans down and whispers in my ear. “We have to stop, or I’m going to take you right here in front of everyone.”
I turn to face him. “Okay, let’s go get some air.” But I know my eyes taunt him with the idea of sex on the dance floor.
Kaleb takes my hand and leads me out to the porch. The cool evening temperature is welcome on our heated skin. A couple of snowboarders I don’t know well stop him. I watch as they fawn over him, and his ego eats it up. Yeah, Gretchen was right. We needed to get down here. He deserves to shine.
When we move away, I say, “You don’t have to hang on to me. I’m fine if you want to mingle alone.”
He pulls me into a hug so I have to lean my head back to see his face. He asks, “Am I boring you with the snowboard talk?
“No. I like hearing it. I just don’t want you to feel like I’m needy tonight. I’m okay.” I put my hand against his chest and let his warmth spread over my fingers. They ache to touch his skin instead.
“I’m afraid to be without you.” He squints his eyes and looks around in an exaggerated fashion, as if he’s being followed. “Some girls can be assertive, and I need you to protect me from those wandering hands.”
This makes me giggle. “I’m pretty intimidating. I see your point.” I use my finger to trace the logo on his shirt. “I’ll stay with you on one condition.”
“Anything.” His eyes are dark, and I almost forget what I’m about to say.
I step away and cross my arms. “You give me my damn poster. It’s not fair that all the girls in Breckenridge have a picture with their name on your chest and I don’t.” I pout dramatically.
His narrows his eyes at me. “Okay.” He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a Sharpie. I hear a pop as he pulls off the cap with his teeth and it clatters when he spits it out. He lifts his shirt and writes on his chest. In a messy scrawl it says “Lori, Forever and Always, Kaleb”
Tears spring to my eyes. My hand goes to my mouth and I say, “Oh my God.” I hear a girl’s voice say, “Awww.”
Kaleb lets go of his shirt and drops the pen. It rolls across the deck as he lifts me up by my thighs. I wrap my legs around his waist and hold on to his neck.
He says, “You get the real thing. I’m yours forever.” He nuzzles into my neck.
I let
a tear roll down my cheek. “That won’t come off for days. You’ll have to keep your shirt on at the gym.”
He stops kissing my shoulder to speak. “I don’t care who sees it. Maybe I’ll get it tattooed on.”
“Hmmm, what will your wife think?” His scent makes it hard to think clearly.
Hot breath makes my insides quiver when he whispers in my ear, “Maybe she won’t mind.”
Chapter Fifty-Three
Kaleb wasn’t kidding about the wandering hands. Girls can’t help themselves, and if the tables were turned, these same girls would call it sexual harassment. He also didn’t joke about using me to fight them off. As soon as he’s accosted, he pulls me in front of him and hugs me as if I’m chest armor. It was funny at first, but now both of us are annoyed.
Actually, I’m getting pissed. The girls are getting drunker and more obnoxious about their desire to manhandle my guy. “It might be time to get you out of here,” I say. “Brandy was about to grab lower than your chest.”
“Yeah, let’s go up to my room.” He pulls me by the hand as we weave our way from the deck toward the great room.
The bass of the music flows through my body and awakens my smoldering desire. I’m anxious to get Kaleb alone and pick up where we left off earlier. When we walk by the dance floor I notice people doing a lot more than dancing right now. A flash of Gretchen’s hair catches my eye. She’s making out with Cooper. I knew something was going on there.
We approach the steps, and a couple is just beyond the rope in a state of undress and finding pleasure in each other’s flesh. We walk around them, and they don’t even notice. Their moans make my core pulse quicker. “You locked your door, right?” I ask.
“Yes. I always do when we have parties. I don’t want strangers in my bed.” The upstairs level is sweet relief to my ears. Sound is muffled, and the quiet wraps around my body in a soft embrace. I hadn’t realized how loud the party was until now.
I lean against the wall while he unlocks his door. He’s a little drunk, and it takes a couple of tries to get the key in the lock. I’m a little drunk too, so I resist the urge to take the key and do it for him. I’d rather watch his long, smooth fingers move anyway. My skin aches for his warm touch, and I want to burrow into his inferno of a body.
What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 7) Page 159