The Chocolate Garden (Dare River Book 2)

by Ava Miles

  In the quiet office, her mama held her, and she held her back. Something new and promising flowed between them, and in that moment, Tammy knew all wasn’t lost in their relationship.

  “I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” her mama whispered. “I don’t think I can bear to lose another child.”

  As the tears fell, she whispered back, “I forgive you, mama.”

  “I would never betray my own flesh and blood. Please believe that.”

  Even though everything pointed to her mama, in her gut, Tammy knew she was telling the truth.

  “Well now,” Mama said after another squeeze, pushing back and dabbing a finger at her own teary eyes.

  “I’m glad you came, Mama,” Tammy said in a soft voice. She couldn’t bear to think about what would have happened otherwise.

  Her mama smiled slowly, a rare, genuine one. “Me too, honey. I know you likely need to head out, but would you let me take you to lunch? I’d really like to hear about you and my grandchildren and Amelia Ann…and even Rye and…Tory.”

  Her request spoke volumes about the effort she was making, and Tammy had to meet her effort.

  “I can take a later flight,” she told her.

  Her mama pulled her jacket down, like she was composing herself. “I know we have a lot of fence-mending to do, Tammy, but I love y’all and those children. And I miss them. I promise to…be different.”

  Different. Tammy sat with that for a moment. All her life, everyone in her family had always been asked to be different than how they truly were, and here her mama was doing the same.

  “Mama, I don’t want you to be untrue to who you are,” she said gently. “I only wish you could be a little kinder and more accepting of all of us.”

  Her mama looked down and took a deep breath like she was battling for control. “I know I’m a hard woman, Tammy. Your daddy hasn’t minced words about it lately. I’m sorry for hurting you and the others. I was only trying to do what I thought was best for you, what I was raised to believe.”

  At that, she put a hand on her mama’s arm. When Mama looked up, there were tears in her eyes.

  “I know, Mama.”

  “I was only trying to give you a stable life, but I forced you to marry a monster. Oh, Tammy. I can’t apologize enough.”

  There was genuine regret in her mama’s eyes, and it was the most vulnerable she’d ever seen her. “Let’s just be glad I’m not with him anymore, Mama.”

  “I thought…I wanted you and your kids to have a permanent home, not like how mine was growing up when Daddy left us for that woman.”

  No rehashing of the past was going to change things, so Tammy said, “I know that, Mama. And while everything might not be perfect between us, we have to start somewhere.”

  She and Rye had come such a long way in working out their differences and becoming close. Maybe she and Mama could do the same.

  “Let’s go to Sandra Lee’s Café for lunch then. I’ve missed her chicken salad.”

  “It’s the best in town,” her mama said, and she had to clear her voice.

  As she and her mama walked out of her ex-husband’s office, Tammy could only marvel at how the people in her life continued to surprise her.

  Chapter 40

  Lunch with Mama had awkward silences in parts, and certainly Betty Shifley and Kitty Ann Whitlow and a few of the other patrons stared at them and whispered as they enjoyed their chicken salads. Yet Mama held her head high, and once they were done, she took Tammy around to talk to the various women, telling them how delighted she was to have her beloved daughter return for a visit. Just like she’d done in Sterling’s office, Mama was standing up for her, and even though her heart started pounding faster as they scanned her new clothing and hair with disapproval, her mama’s support made it bearable.

  She showed Mama pictures of Annabelle and Rory and received only compliments, something as unique as a cool front during a Mississippi summer. The other unusual guest at lunch was Mama’s occasional silence. For once, she listened to Tammy, either because she wasn’t always sure what to say or because she’d heeded Tammy's words.

  The sunlight felt good on her face when she stepped out of the café, and the throbbing in her collarbone almost curled up into a ball under that healing light. The pain was duller after taking an ibuprofen from Mama’s purse at lunch.

  “Well, now,” her daddy drawled from where he was standing under the awning of the barber shop. “It’s quite a sight to see y’all together.”

  As Tammy rushed over to him, Daddy held out his hands. She grabbed them, and he wrapped his arms around her.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to be in town, Daddy,” she whispered.

  “I know why you’re here, sugar,” he whispered back. “Seems you might have found some answers.”

  Even though they were out on a public street in downtown Meade, where anyone could overhear them, Mama stepped closer and gazed at her husband.

  “I didn’t have anything to do with what you’ve likely heard about, Hampton,” she told him, and Tammy noticed her head wasn’t held as high now.

  “I expect there’s truth in that, Margaret, otherwise y’all wouldn’t have been having lunch just now,” her daddy responded. “It’s a mighty encouraging sight, I must say.”

  Her eyes seemed to soak in his features. “I’m going to make amends, Hampton. You have my word on that.”

  There was warmth and pain and a whole lot of vulnerability in Daddy’s smile. “I’m happy to hear that, Margaret. Now that you’ve finished lunch, Tammy, do you have time for coffee or a piece of pie with your old man?”

  She thought of the new flight time she’d arranged and calculated the drive. “I could sit a spell with you before I have to be in Jackson.”

  “Good,” he responded.

  Mama pulled on the bottom of her jacket. In her eyes were so many questions, but she made a valiant effort to smile. “It was good to see you, Tammy. Please give the grandbabies sugar for me, and tell Rye, Tory, and Amelia Ann that I’m…” She stopped as though she had no idea what to say. “Please send them my deepest apologies for my behavior and tell them I hope they will be willing to…let me tell them that myself, either in person or over the phone, whatever is most comfortable for them.”

  Since Tammy wasn’t sure how that request would be received, she just gave her Mama a smile and said, “I will pass along the message.”

  Her siblings would have to decide for themselves what they wanted to do.

  Mama opened her arms and then retracted them like she wasn’t sure Tammy would welcome a hug. Since she knew Mama wasn’t a hugger, Tammy took a step to meet her halfway. Mama patted her, her body stiff, like she wasn’t used to being held. But Tammy had learned how to give a warm hug, and she did her best to stay in the moment without jumping away from the awkwardness.

  When they parted, Mama had tears in her eyes again. “Thank you, Tammy.”

  The gratitude for everything that had passed between them this morning welled up like an over-filled bucket. “Thank you, Mama.”

  “It was good to see you, Hampton,” Margaret said.

  Word of their divorce must have sent shockwaves through Meade, and Tammy had the urge to look through the café window to see if anyone had fainted from shock to see them talking on the street. It sure beat the matinee at the Meade Movie House.

  Daddy took Tammy’s hand. “It was good to see you too, Margaret. You look years younger today.”

  And her mama did. Softer, more vulnerable—and more unsure of herself than ever.

  “Thank you. Y’all have a nice visit together.” Then she firmed her shoulders and walked to her car.

  “That woman always did know how to make an exit,” Daddy murmured. “Now. How about we go somewhere the gossips in town won’t bother us and you fill me in on today’s events? I had four people call and say you and your Mama were having lunch—that’s how I knew where to find y’all—and I was told you paid a visit to Sterling�
�s office before that. Seems he high-tailed out before y’all left.”

  Telling Daddy what had transpired wasn’t going to be easy, but he deserved to know, not just because she needed to stop hiding the truth of what Sterling had done to her, but because of how Mama had plumb shocked her silly.

  “That sounds like a good idea.”

  A while later, she was on her way back to Jackson, and even though the air was hot and muggy, she rolled the window down, wanting to feel the force of the wind on her face and hair. Perhaps it could blow away all the bad memories she’d experienced and relived today, cleansing her brand new.

  She called Rye, not wanting to put it off any longer. She wasn’t sure if Daddy had called him to prepare him. Daddy was livid about the attack in Sterling’s office, and she’d had to plead with him to leave it be since leaving town in disgrace was the worst punishment she could imagine for her ex-husband. As a compromise, Daddy had taken her back to his office to photograph her horrible bruise, saying he would write out a statement of the events after she left. He was even planning to interview Mama. If Sterling didn’t leave town, they would make good on their threat to approach the police.

  Tammy didn’t want to involve the law and hoped Sterling would leave Meade of his own volition. Leaving his practice, his town, his house, and potentially losing his fiancée over it would be punishment enough. Involving the law would drag her back into the past when all she wanted to do was move forward.

  Her call with Rye was as volatile as she’d feared, and she was glad she’d told him to put Tory on speaker phone so she could share her news with them both. Tory helped her talk her brother down, convincing him that destroying Sterling’s life in Meade was a superior revenge. When she told him she was convinced Mama wasn’t the leak, her brother didn’t want to listen at first. But after she shared what Mama had done for her in Sterling’s office, he went mute and finally uttered, “I’m not disbelieving you, Tammy, but I want more proof. I’m going to keep our source on Gunner. Hopefully she’ll manage to get a name from him.”

  Arguing with him to let sleeping dogs lie didn’t get her anywhere, so she finally caved. If she hadn’t been in Meade today, if she hadn’t seen Mama stand up to Sterling like that and refuting her accusation about the leak, she wouldn’t have believed her either.

  When they said goodbye, Rye told her they would all sit down as a family to talk through what to do about Mama when he and Tory came home next week for a few days during a break in the tour.

  She called Amelia Ann next, and was grateful when her sister immediately called her back, likely sensing something was wrong. Her sister expressed the same outrage about Sterling and disbelief about Mama’s abrupt turnaround. But there was another thread in her voice Tammy couldn’t put her finger on. She shook it off. Everyone in her family naturally had strong feelings about what had happened in Meade, and she figured her sister was dealing with them in her own way.

  Once she had hung up with Amelia Ann, she called John Parker to talk to the kids. She said nothing about her day other than to promise she would tell him about it when she came home. Her voice was raw now, and she had to dash away cleansing tears as Annabelle and Rory told her all about their new swimming pool and how John Parker had made them banana, honey, and peanut butter sandwiches for lunch.

  After clicking off, she let the silence in the car help her settle.

  Today she’d faced down the two people she’d let control her life for years. Nothing had gone as she’d expected. But she was delighted at the outcome.

  It gave her the strength to take the next step. If she could face down her own demons, she could face down her children’s too. It was time to show them how to take back their power from the bad man—all the way. Tammy Hollins, formerly Morrison, didn’t need anything or anyone to cushion life for her anymore.

  She was strong enough for herself.

  She was strong enough for her children.

  And she thanked God for that.

  By the time she arrived back at John Parker’s house in Dare River, it was close to eleven o’clock. She was exhausted and yet completely sure of what needed doing.

  John Parker was sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch, which meant he was likely serving as an eight-course dinner for the mosquitoes. Charleston, Bullet, and Banjo were sleeping at his feet. After telling them to stay, he hurried down the porch to her side.

  She dropped her bags on the driveway and simply ran into his arms. He’d helped her find this place in herself as much as she had, and as their lips met, it was so easy to fall into that space of love and happiness they created every time they came together.

  “I missed you,” he said between kisses.

  “I missed you too,” she told him, threading her fingers through his dark hair.

  “I want to kiss the kids goodnight, and then I want to go to the tree house and make love with you,” she said as his hands stroked her waist.

  “Okay, but you’re going to tell me about today too, right?” he said like he sensed her hesitancy.

  Telling him would be harder than telling Rye in many ways, and she’d known it would take more strength to share the truth of what Sterling had done. When he saw the wound on her collarbone, he was going to be upset—and likely hurt. She wasn’t sure he’d be able to understand the emotions that had driven her to face her ex-husband.

  “Yes,” she whispered, running kisses over his neck now. “I’ll tell you. You just need to promise to be patient with me and to remember I love you.”

  He sighed, but he didn’t resist when she took his hand and led him inside to see her children.

  Rory and Annabelle were curled around each other as if their bodies had been forged together. Bandit and Barbie were snuffling against their individual backs. She took a moment to just stare at her children as Annabelle’s princess light cast its radiance on her two most precious beings. Finally she dropped John Parker’s hand and approached the pushed-together beds, caressing their hair and kissing their cheeks.

  Annabelle stirred and smiled when she saw her mama. “Did the chocolate fairies bring my chocolate yet, Mama?”

  “No, darlin’,” she whispered, “It’s not morning yet.”

  “Okay,” she said softly, and then closed her eyes and fell back into a deep sleep.

  “I love you two,” she whispered. She had to put a hand over her heart where it seemed to be growing and expanding, like a balloon filled for a birthday party.

  She made a promise to never stop growing, to show them what was possible, and the only way she knew how was to do it by example

  She would be a lighthouse, shining brightly, and she would encourage them to nourish their every gift and dream. She would never impose her views of what they should do. She would nurture them and let them have their voices, becoming who God had meant them to be.

  The quiet tears she shed were as much for their journey together as they were for her own. She had come to Dare River broken and bruised, all of the parts of herself throbbing with hurt, aching for attention, calling out for love.

  She had found it within herself.

  She had found it with her children.

  She had found it with John Parker.

  Turning to him, she took his hand and drew him outside, the moon hiding its light tonight through a thick haze of clouds. His flashlight was the only bright spot on their path. Like a young girl, she wanted to skip through her gardens all the way to the tree house. She almost believed the chocolate fairies had sprinkled their magical chocolate dust over the land, and were even now making the most mouth-watering chocolate.

  John Parker raced with her as she finally gave into her desire to start skipping. Any remaining pressure and stress from the day gave way to happiness, and she was able to laugh.

  She was free.

  To be herself. To love herself. To love this man.

  When they opened the magical door painted with the gumdrop path, he made a move to light the darkness and pull out the c
ot, but she didn’t want to wait, and part of her wanted to hide her wound from him for just a little while longer.

  “No,” she whispered, pressing herself against him, letting the raw passion rising in her have its freedom. “Just now. Just us.”

  And she showed him what she meant, what she wanted.

  She devoured his lips like she was starving for him, and it was like after all of the years of starvation, she was planning on having her fill tonight.

  He met her passion with equal fervor, murmuring against her lips, stepping back as she ripped his shirt off and then made quick work of his shorts and boxers. She tore her own clothes away, wanting to be free of them, free in this moment, and when she was naked, she put her hands on his shoulders and leaped up, wrapping her legs around his waist.

  “I like your enthusiasm, sugar,” he drawled.

  She’d come so far in this space with him, far from the scared, wounded woman she’d once been. And as her mouth found his again, she closed her eyes and let herself reclaim even more passion, more joy from the well she’d mistakenly thought empty for so long.

  They made love with urgent cries and drawn-out groans in the darkness that night, the cicadas and crickets and frogs their magical accompaniment. They were all accolades to the greatest force on earth. Their love. When she came, singing out her passion for him, her release swept him away, and as he finally lowered her to rest against the wall, his strength drained from him, she held him tight.

  Her own legs shaky, she finally managed to stand on her own.

  It was time.

  She turned on the lights, not bothering with the candles, as he pulled out the cot. All the while, she covered the wound with her hand, the shame she’d always felt from past injuries hovering around her like a dark cloud. No one had ever seen the marks Sterling had left on her skin, and showing John Parker now felt like a whole new nakedness.

  Taking a fortifying breath, ready to face down this fear too, she turned and lowered her hand.