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The Other Mrs (ARC)

Page 29

by Mary Kubica


  ternoon. It was a Saturday a month or so ago. He was home. He

  watched out the window as Morgan went down the drive.

  “I had a habit of staring at her when she didn’t know I was

  watching,” he confesses. “It’s because of how beautiful she was.

  It was easy to do. Morgan,” he tells me, smiling nostalgically at

  the memory of his wife, “was easy on the eyes. Everyone thought

  so,” and I remember what Officer Berg said about the men in

  town having eyes for her. About Will having eyes for her.

  “Yes,” I reply. “She was lovely,” changing the way I think

  of him because I can see in his eyes just how much he loved

  Morgan.

  That day Jeffrey says that he watched as she bent at the waist,

  as she stretched a hand into the box to retrieve the mail, as she

  made the long walk back up the driveway, thumbing through

  the mail as she went.

  Halfway up the drive, Morgan came to a standstill. Her hand

  went to her mouth. By the time she made it inside, she was as

  white as a ghost. She brushed past Jeffrey in the doorway, shak-

  ing as she did so. He asked what was wrong, what she found in

  the mail that made her so upset. Morgan said only bills—that

  the insurance company hadn’t covered a recent doctor appoint-

  ment. The balance left for them to pay was highway robbery.

  It should have been covered, she snapped, marching up the stairs with the mail in her hand.

  Where are you going? he’d called up the stairs after her.

  To call the insurance company, she’d said, but she went into the bedroom and closed the door.

  Everything about Morgan changed that day. The changes

  were subtle. Another person might not have noticed. There was

  a sudden propensity toward closing the curtains as soon as the

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  sky turned dark. A restlessness about his wife that hadn’t been

  there before.

  The notes that the police found were all different, slipped in

  between the box spring and the mattress that Jeffrey and Mor-

  gan slept on. She’d intentionally hid them from him.

  I ask what they said, and he tells me.

  You know nothing.

  Tell anyone and die.

  I’m watching you.

  A chill runs up my spine. My eyes go to the windows of

  homes on the street.

  Is someone watching us?

  “Did Morgan and your ex-wife get along?” I ask, though even

  I can see these threats make no sense coming from an aggrieved

  ex-wife. These threats have nothing to do with a woman try-

  ing to reclaim the rights to her child. These threats have noth-

  ing to do with a husband hoping for a life insurance payout in

  the wake of his wife’s death.

  These threats are something else.

  All this time, I’ve been wrong.

  “I’m telling you,” Jeffrey says, becoming agitated now. Gone

  is the man who stood smiling at his wife’s memorial service.

  He’s come undone. Jeffrey is unwavering now as he states em-

  phatically, “Courtney had nothing to do with this. Someone

  else was threatening my wife. Someone else wanted her dead.”

  I see this now.

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  Sadie

  “I used the last of the milk on the mac and cheese,” Will tells

  me when he gets home, stepping into the house only minutes

  after me. Tate is with him. He skips merrily through the front

  door, tells Will to count to twenty and then come find him.

  He dashes off to hide as Will unpacks a handful of items from

  a grocery sack on the counter.

  Will winks at me, admits, “I told him we’d play hide-and-

  seek if he went with me without a fuss.” Will can turn any er-

  rand into an adventure.

  In the Crock-Pot cooks Will’s famous macaroni and cheese.

  The table is set for five, as if Will bullishly believes Imogen will be home. He carries the gallon of milk he’s just brought home

  to the table, and fills the empty glasses in turn.

  “Where’s Otto?” I ask, and Will tells me, “Upstairs.”

  “He didn’t go with you and Tate?”

  Will shakes his head no. “It was only a quick trip for milk,”

  he says.

  Will turns to me, seeing me perhaps only then for the first

  time since he’s arrived home.

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  “What’s the matter, Sadie?” he asks, setting the milk on the

  edge of the table and coming to me. “You’re shaking like a leaf.”

  He wraps his arms around me and I want to tell him about

  the discoveries of the day. I want to get it all off my chest, but

  for whatever reason, instead I say, “It’s nothing,” blaming low

  blood sugar for the reason I shake. I’ll tell him later, when Tate

  isn’t just in the next room waiting for Will to find him. “I didn’t have time for lunch.”

  “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Sadie,” Will tenderly

  reprimands.

  Will reaches into the pantry and finds a cookie for me to eat.

  He hands it to me, saying, “Just don’t tell the boys about this.

  No cookies before dinner. It’ll ruin your appetite.” He smiles

  as he says it and, even after everything we’ve been through, I

  can’t help but smile back, because he’s still there: the Will I fell in love with.

  I stare at him awhile. My husband is handsome. His long hair

  is pulled back and all I can see is that chiseled jawline, the sharp angles of his cheeks, and those beguiling eyes.

  But then I remember suddenly what Officer Berg said about

  Will having eyes for Morgan and I wonder if it’s true. My own

  smile slips from my face and I feel regret begin to brew inside.

  I can be cold, I know. Glacial even. I’ve been told this before.

  I often think that I’d been the one to push Will into the arms

  of another woman. If only I had been more affectionate, more

  sensitive, more vulnerable. More happy. But in my life, all I’ve

  known is an inherent sadness.

  When I was twelve, my father complained about how moody

  I could be. High as a kite one day, sad the next. He blamed the

  imminence of my teenage years. I experimented with my cloth-

  ing as kids that age tend to do. I was desperate to figure out who

  I was. He said there were days I screamed at him to stop calling

  me Sadie because I hated the name Sadie. I wanted to change

  my name, be someone else, anyone other than me. There were

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  MARY KUBICA

  times I was snarky, times I was kind. Times I was outgoing,

  times I was shy. I could be the bully just as easily as be bullied.

  Perhaps it was only teenage rebellion. The need for self-dis-

  covery. The surge of hormones. But my then-therapist didn’t

  think so. She diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. I was on mood

  stabilizers, antidepressants, antipsychotics. None of it helped.
/>   The tipping point came later, after I’d met and married Will,

  after I’d started my family and my career.

  Tate calls out from another room, “Come find me, Daddy!”

  and Will excuses himself, kissing me slowly before he leaves. I

  don’t pull away. I let him this time. He cradles my face in his

  hands. As his soft lips brush over mine, I feel something I haven’t felt in a long time. I want Will to keep kissing me.

  But Tate calls for him again and Will leaves.

  I head upstairs to change. Alone in the bedroom, I wonder

  if it’s possible to dream about a place you’ve never been. I take

  my question to the internet. The answer isn’t so easy to find

  about places. But it is about faces. The internet claims that all the faces we ever see in our dreams are faces we’ve seen in real life.

  It’s been over an hour, but Officer Berg still hasn’t called me

  back.

  I change into a pair of pajamas. I drop my clothes into the

  laundry basket. The basket itself overflows and I think that after

  everything Will does for us, the least I can do is a single load

  of laundry. I’m too tired to do it now but first thing tomorrow,

  before work, I’ll throw in a load.

  We eat dinner together. As expected, Imogen is a no-show. I

  pick at my food, hardly able to eat. “Penny for your thoughts,”

  Will says toward the end of dinner, and only then do I realize I

  spent the entirety of our meal staring off into space.

  I apologize to him and blame fatigue.

  Will does the dishes. Tate disappears to watch TV. Otto plods

  out of the room and up the stairs. I hear his bedroom door close

  from this distance and only then, when I’m certain they’re both

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  out of earshot, do I tell Will what Imogen said to me in the

  cemetery. I don’t hesitate because, if I do, I might just lose the

  nerve. I’m not sure how Will is going to respond.

  “I saw Imogen today,” I begin. I fill him in on the details:

  how the school called, how I found her alone at the cemetery.

  How there were pills with her. I don’t dance around the words.

  “She was angry but unreserved. We got to talking. She told

  me, Will, that she yanked that stool out from Alice’s feet the

  day she died,” I tell him. “If it wasn’t for Imogen, Alice might

  still be alive.”

  I feel like a snitch as I say it, but it’s my duty, my responsi-

  bility to tell Will. Imogen is a disturbed child. She needs help.

  Will needs to know what she has done so that we can get her

  the help she deserves.

  Will goes stiff at first. He’s at the sink with his back toward

  me. But his posture turns suddenly vertical. A dish slips from

  his wet hands, falls to the sink. It doesn’t break, but the sound

  of a dinner plate hitting the sink is loud. I jump because of it.

  Will curses.

  In the moments of silence that follow, I offer, “I’m sorry, Will.

  I’m so sorry,” as I reach out to touch his shoulder.

  He turns off the water and comes to face me, drying his hands

  on a towel. His eyebrows are lowered, his face flat. “She’s mess-

  ing with you,” he says incontrovertibly. The denial is clear as day.

  “How do you know?” I ask, though I know that what Imo-

  gen told me is true. I was there. I heard her.

  “She wouldn’t do that,” he says, meaning that Imogen

  wouldn’t help her mother die. But the truth of the matter, I

  think, is that Will doesn’t want to believe she would.

  “How can you be sure?” I ask, reminding him that we barely

  know this girl. That she’s been a part of our life for only a few

  long weeks now. We have no idea who Imogen is.

  “There’s this animosity between you and her,” he says, as if

  this is something petty, something trivial and not a matter of

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  life and death. “Can’t you see she’s doing it intentionally be-

  cause it gets a rise out of you?” he asks, and it’s true that Imo-

  gen doesn’t behave this way toward Will and the boys. But that

  doesn’t change things. There’s another side to Imogen that Will

  can’t see.

  My mind goes back to our conversation this morning about

  the photograph on Imogen’s phone. “Were you able to recover

  the photos?” I ask, thinking that if he found the photo, there

  will be proof. He’ll be able to see it the way that I do.

  He shakes his head, tells me no. “If there was a photograph,

  it’s gone,” he says.

  His carefully chosen words come as a punch to the gut. If there was a photograph. Unlike me, Will isn’t sure there ever was.

  “You don’t believe me?” I ask, feeling bruised.

  He doesn’t answer right away. He thinks before he speaks.

  In time he says, expression thoughtful, arms folded across his

  chest, “You don’t like Imogen, Sadie. She scares you, you said.

  You didn’t want to come here to Maine and now you want to

  leave. I think you’re looking for a reason—” he begins, tiptoe-

  ing around the truth. His truth. That I’m manufacturing a rea-

  son to leave.

  I hold up a hand and stop him there. I don’t need to hear the

  rest of it.

  Only one thing matters. He doesn’t believe me.

  I turn on my heels and leave.

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  Sadie

  I spend another fitful night tossing and turning in bed. I give

  up the fight near five a.m., slipping quietly from bed. The dogs

  follow, eager for an early breakfast. On the way out the bed-

  room door, I reach for the basket of laundry I left for myself

  to clean, hoisting it onto my hip. I walk out into the hall and

  down the stairs.

  I’m approaching the landing when my bare foot lands on

  something sharp. It pokes me in the arch of the foot. I sink to

  the steps to see what it is, resting the laundry basket on my lap.

  In the darkness, I feel blindly for the offending item, taking it

  into the light of the kitchen to see.

  It’s a small silver pendant on a rope chain, now coiled into a

  mound on my palm. It’s broken, snipped in two, not at the clasp

  but in the center of the chain so that it can’t go back together

  again. Such a shame, I think.

  I clasp the pendant between my fingers, seeing the one side

  is blank.

  I turn it over. There on the other side is an M. Someone’s

  initial. But whose?

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  Hers isn’t the first name that comes to me. I think of Mi-

  chelle and Mandy and Maggie first. But then the thought arrives,

  crashing into me, knocking the wind from my lungs.

  M for Morgan.

  In the kitchen, I suck in a sudden breath. Did this necklace

  belong to Morgan?

  I can’t say with certainty. But my gu
t thinks so.

  What is this necklace doing in our home? There isn’t one

  good reason why it would be here. Only reasons I’m too scared

  to consider.

  I leave it on the countertop as I turn and make my way to

  the laundry room. My hands are shaking now, though I tell

  myself it’s theoretical only. The necklace could just as well be-

  long to a Michelle as it could to Morgan Baines. Perhaps Otto

  has a crush on some girl and planned to give this to her. A girl

  named Michelle.

  I upend the basket and laundry comes tumbling out, onto the

  floor. I sort the laundry, separating the whites and colors into

  piles. I grab armfuls of it and begin thrusting it into the wash-

  ing machine, too much for one load. But I want to get it done.

  I’m not thinking about any one thing in particular, but many

  things, though the thing that trumps all is how I can get my

  marriage, my family back on track. Because there was once a

  time when we were happy.

  Maine was meant to be a new beginning, a fresh start. In-

  stead it’s had a detrimental effect on everything, Will and my

  marriage, our family, our lives. It’s time that we leave, go some-

  where else. Not back to Chicago, but somewhere new. We’ll sell

  the house, take Imogen with us. I think of the places we could

  go. So many possibilities. If only I could convince Will to leave.

  My mind is elsewhere. Not on the laundry. I’m hardly pay-

  ing attention to the laundry at all, other than this quick, force-

  ful way I jam things into the machine, slamming the door. I

  reach for the detergent on a nearby shelf. Only then do I catch

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  sight of a few items that snuck out, escapees from the washing

  machine lying limp on the laundry room floor.

  I bend at the waist to retrieve them, ready to open the door

  and toss them back in. It’s as I stand, hunched over, scooping

  the items into my hand, that I see it. At first I blame the poor

  lighting in the laundry room for what it is I see. Blood, on a

  washcloth. A great deal of it, though I try and convince myself

  that it’s not blood.

  The stain is not as red as it is brown because of the way blood

  changes color as it dries. But still, it’s blood. Undeniably blood.

  It would be so easy to say that Will had cut himself shaving,

  or that Tate had a scraped knee or—worst case scenario—Otto

 

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