A Soul For Chaos (The Soulbearer Trilogy)

by Crista McHugh

  Would she? Every time she caught him looking at her that way, it revived all her complicated feelings for Dev. But would he be like Kell—luring her into his bed only to push her away in the end?

  “My dear little Soulbearer, the one basic lesson you need to learn about men is that they think first with their dick and then with their head.”

  The blood rushed into her cheeks, and she ran back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. By the time she emerged from behind the dressing screen in her travelling clothes, Kell was stirring.

  “What’s going on?” His sleepy smile was contagious. She was going to miss waking up to it every morning.

  She went to the bed and kissed his cheek. “I have to leave now.”

  “Now?” He bolted up. “But the sun isn’t even up yet.”

  Dev knocked on the door. “Trouble, are you ready?”

  Arden dug her nails into her palms. She hated when he ordered her around, and hated it even more when he called her Trouble in the process. “I need a few moments alone with Kell.”

  The door swung open, and Dev marched into the room. “No,” he said, flinging her over his shoulder like a rolled carpet, “we need to get on our horses and on the road before the Empress changes her mind and decides to cut off our heads.”

  “Stop exaggerating.” Somewhere in the corner of her mind, however, she suspected there was some truth to what he said. She wouldn’t put it past the Empress to be that fickle.

  Kell followed them, hopping into his boots as they went outside where Fane stood with their horses. “Let me come, too.”

  “That’s not possible, Your Highness,” Fane answered. “Only those with magical abilities can enter the Conclave.”

  Kell moved in front of Dev and tugged at her hips. “Are you capable of treating her like a lady?”

  “I don’t think lady would be the proper term for Trouble.”

  But Dev let her go, his words stinging her pride. She slid down his body and tumbled back into Kell, who dragged her away.

  Once they’d gone a few feet, he brushed her hair out of her face and pressed his lips to her forehead. “You’d think he’d give us a few minutes to say goodbye.”

  “This is Dev we’re talking about.”

  Kell chuckled and leaned his head against hers, his fingers massaging the back of her neck. “True.”

  “I’m going to miss you.” She ran her fingers through his hair, unsure what to say next. This was her chance to let him go, to plant the seed in his mind that they had no future. She knew she needed to do it, but her heart ached from the thought of it. “If you need to return to Ranello without me, please do.”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m going to stay right here and wait for you.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. If your father needs you—”

  “The only thing I care about is right here in my arms.”

  The ache in her chest deepened. She wanted to believe him, but as soon as Loku made his presence known, she knew how Kell would react.

  “Like this?” Loku asked her.

  Kell’s eyes widened as he witnessed the yellow-green halos in her eyes flare to life, the way they did every time Loku spoke to her. His breath quickened, and his fingers dug into her neck. No, he’d never become comfortable with the chaos god living inside her.

  She sighed and pried his arms down. “Kell, we both know that there are things about me that will always keep us apart, so please, go home and find someone more suitable.”

  She managed to get a few feet away from him before he caught and kissed like he did the night before. “You’re wrong, Arden, and I’m going to prove it you. When I got back home, it will be with you. And when we return to Trivinus, I want you to marry me.”

  Her tongue refused to work. He wanted to marry her? A yellow-haired witch with common origins? Was he mad?

  “Love does crazy things to a man. Or perhaps I should say, lust.”

  Even if Loku was wrong and Kell felt something more than desire for her, she still couldn’t agree to it.

  Her silence cracked his confident smile. “Arden, please say yes.”

  Sweet Lady Moon, he was proposing to her. Her head swam. “Kell, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Will you two please hurry up?” Dev’s horse danced under him with impatience. “We have a long way to travel, and I don’t want to be stuck on those mountain roads after sunset.”

  She never thought she’d be so grateful for Dev’s interference. She fled to her horse and climbed up into the saddle.

  Kell gripped the bridle, keeping her there until he had his answer. “Arden, I’m serious.”

  “So am I.” But when she saw the pain in his eyes, she added, “I need some time to decide.”

  If he’d been expecting a joyous yes from her, his blank expression hid it well. Only the slightest of winces revealed his disappointment. His hand slipped away from the horse. “I’ll be here when you return.”

  She offered a silent prayer to the Lady Moon that wouldn’t be the case. It would spare both of them more pain.

  Fane came up to Kell and clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, Soulbearer. The Empress has ordered me to protect the prince, and I will make sure no harm comes to him.”

  “Thank you, Fane.” She cast one more glance at Kell, the ache still throbbing in her chest, before she followed Dev through the palace gardens.

  “Admit it,” Loku said, “you care for him.”

  “Yes, but I don’t think it’s enough.”

  “So you’ll give up your chance to be a princess, to never have to want for anything again, to see all those people who shunned you be forced to kneel as you pass.”

  It was tempting—the fine clothes and jewels, the grand palace, the chance to have her revenge on everyone that had looked down on her—but she remembered how Kell confessed to her once that he despised those ladies of the court who were only interested in his title. “I can’t do that to him. He deserves better.”

  “You’re not being honest with yourself.”

  Dev led her to another steep road that climbed the mountain looming over Queembra. The sun rose up behind them, illuminating their path. It wasn’t until they’d passed the second switchback that he spoke. “What did Kell say that upset you?”

  “He asked me to marry him,” she replied automatically.

  She expected Dev to laugh or show signs of jealousy, but his made no display of emotion. Even his voice was flat when he asked. “And what did you say?”

  “I told him I needed some time to consider his proposal.”

  He nodded. “Good answer.”

  She waited until they’d scrambled up the next switchback before launching her own questions. “Why did you want to keep me away from the Lord Chamberlain last night?”

  “Because he can be a dangerous man.”

  “Dangerous enough to be the person behind the attacks?”

  Dev didn’t answer right away. “Perhaps, although I don’t think he’s powerful enough to do it by himself.”

  A trickle of ire formed between her shoulder blades. Why couldn’t he give her a straight answer? “What does he want from me?”

  “I’m not sure, but you’d be wise to stay away from him until I sort this out.”

  She urged her horse up past his and blocked the road. “Damn it, Dev, I want some answers, and I want them now. I’m not moving until you tell me why the Lord Chamberlain was looking for me.”

  Dev sighed as though he were watching a child in the throes of a temper tantrum. “He wanted to take a closer look at you.”

  The truth surprised her. “Why?”

  “In case you failed to notice, you look a little like the Empress.” He kicked his horse past her and continued up the road, forcing her to urge her own to a trot to keep up.

  “I noticed, but I don’t see why it’s such a big deal.”

  “Then don’t worry about it, and leave the Lord Chamberlain to me.”

  He was still hiding so
mething from her, but she’d worry about it later. There were more pressing questions to ask. “How far away is the Conclave?”

  “By Jussip, are you going to interrogate me for the entire journey?”

  “Perhaps.”

  He muttered what sounded like a string of curses under his breath. “If you don’t delay us any further, we should be there before sunset. I don’t want to be on this road in the dark.”

  To add emphasis to his reasoning, the road crumbled under her horse’s hoof, and he let out a whiney of fear.

  Once she’d calmed it down, she continued. “Is it safe in the Conclave?”

  “It’s the safest place in Gravaria.”

  “You can believe him on that,” Loku said. “There are so many spells cast on that place that you can’t even think about harming someone without there being a spell to counteract it.”

  The knots in her shoulders began to loosen. “And what can you tell me about the Mage Primus?”

  Dev hesitated, and she knew she’d only be getting a hint of what she wanted to know. “He’s the most powerful mage in Gravaria. He’ll oversee your training, just as he has the last six Soulbearers.”

  “And look how grand they turned out.”

  “Not what I need to hear, Loku.”

  Her gaze fell on the bracelet Dev had given her last night. “Do you trust him?”

  “With my life.”

  “Then I suppose I will have to, as well.”

  ***

  Kell watched Arden leave with a sinking feeling in his gut. He’d put his heart out on the line, and she didn’t return his feelings.

  “Is something wrong, Your Highness?” Fane asked.

  He forced the pain deeper inside, afraid to show it on the surface. Tonight behind closed doors, he would lick his wounds in defeat. But now, he was being watched by the Empress’s spies, and he couldn’t show any signs of weakness. “I hope Dev will keep her safe.”

  “I’d expect nothing less from him.” He tugged on Kell’s shoulder before removing his hand. “Come along, Your Highness. The Empress wishes to meet with you this morning, and you can’t go looking like this.”

  He waited until he could no longer see her before heading back to the palace.

  Fane offered him a half smile. “You know what they say—absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

  Or makes it forget. He prayed Fane was right and Arden would come to realize how much she cared for him while she was gone. He’d done all he could. He’d even proposed to her. What sane woman would turn down a chance to become his queen?

  As soon as he asked the question, he knew the answer. Arden. She was the only woman he’d known who didn’t care about his title, which made him love her all the more. If only he could forget about that thing living inside her. Hopefully, she’d learn how to suppress it while she was away so he’d never have to witness those eerie glowing eyes again.

  Now that she was gone, though, he needed to focus his attention on charming a very different woman—Empress Marist. He shaved and dressed in what he considered appropriate attire for an audience with her. Judging by Fane’s nod of approval, he passed.

  The knight led him past the empty throne and into a different wing of the palace.

  Kell slowed his pace. “Where are you taking me?”

  “To the Empress’s chambers.”

  “But aren’t most audiences granted in front of the court?”

  Fane turned around, grinning. “In Ranello, perhaps they are. But since you are a royal diplomat, the Empress preferred to meet with you privately.”

  Worry crawled up his back like a spider. He didn’t like where this was heading.

  A set of guards stood beside each set of doors they passed until he came to the final room. When Fane knocked, another soldier opened it from inside to allow them in.

  Inside, he finally caught a glimpse of the more practical side of the palace. The Empress’s chambers resembled his father’s office. Books lined the walls, and the Empress stood behind a large table with maps scattered across the surface. The Lord Chamberlain stood a few feet away, studying the same map she was.

  She looked up when he entered. “You may leave us now.”

  Fane and the soldier retreated, but the Lord Chamberlain remained where he was.

  The Empress turned her gaze to him, a scowl twisting her features. “That includes you, Uncle.”

  The Lord Chamberlain pressed his lips together in a thin line, but said nothing. He threw Kell a withering glance before disappearing behind the closing doors, leaving him alone with her.

  Last night, she’d been dressed in finery befitting an Empress with a dress made entirely of golden scales, making her appear like one of the mermaids sailors told tales about. This morning, however, she was dressed more simply in a green silk dress that wrapped around her breasts and flowed to the floor. Her hair hung loose down her back. The effect inspired less awe, and he couldn’t help but notice how much she reminded him of Arden.

  He approached her and bowed his head. “Your Imperial Majesty, I appreciate your invitation.”

  “The reason I asked for a private audience, Prince Kell, is so we can speak frankly with one another. For all practical purposes, we are the rulers of our respective nations.”

  “Last I heard, my father was alive and in good health.”

  “And last I heard, you were named his heir.” She moved away from the map table to a smaller one laden with a bountiful breakfast tray. “Since there is a good a chance I will outlive him, it is safe to say I will still be Empress when you take the throne.”

  He followed her to the table, his stomach growling. With all the excitement surrounding Arden, he didn’t have a chance to eat dinner last night. But protocol demanded he wait until he was invited to fill his plate.

  The corner of Marist’s mouth rose, cutting a dimple into her cheek. “Please, break your fast, Prince Kell. It’s much more pleasant to discuss business on a full stomach.”

  After she’d placed a few items on a silver plate, he loaded up his own and sat in the chair opposite her. “I must admit, I’ve found the food here to be interesting.”

  “Yes, I suppose it’s different from the meat heavy meals you are accustomed to.” She tried to sound pleasant with the small talk, but her penetrating gaze told him she wanted to get down to business. “Now, tell me why you are here.”

  A web of magic surrounded him. For a few seconds, he couldn’t move under the force of it. His hand inched to his sword, every muscle in his arm straining. Sweat beaded along his forehead. When his fingers brushed the hilt, the weight lifted off of him. His breaths came hard and heavy.

  Despite Marist’s hospitable demeanor, he was decidedly in enemy territory. “What were you trying to achieve with that?”

  She peaked one brow. “You noticed?”

  “Don’t play innocent with me. You know damn well I noticed.”

  She sipped the steaming tea in her cup as though nothing was wrong with her magical attack on him. “Prince Kell, please remember you’re in my presence and refrain from swearing.”

  His hand tightened around his sword. It took every ounce of self-control not to draw it. Now he understood why his father refused to have ties with Gravaria. The Empress treated diplomacy like a game where she was the cat, and he was the mouse. “Stop toying with me, then. You said you wanted to talk business, so prove it.”

  She set her cup down and placed her hands in her lap. “Very well. It hasn’t escaped my notice that you arrived here under very unusual circumstances.”

  “I wanted to keep a low profile.”

  “Or perhaps you wanted to slip in here unnoticed and spy on us.”

  Her accusation was as sharp as a blade, and he found himself on the defensive. “I have no desire to risk my life spying on you. I’ve made no attempt to deceive you, nor your representatives.”

  She leaned her head to the side and pursed her lips together. “A valid point. Perhaps I have jumped to the wrong concl
usion.”

  “And is that why you made this meeting private? So you could determine if I’m a spy for my father?”

  “I admit my initial suspicions were in error, so please, let’s end this hostility and resume our discussion.”

  He unwrapped his fingers one by one from this hilt, his eyes never leaving the placid appearing woman across from him. So far, this had been the oddest political meeting he’d ever attended. Of course, none of them had involved magic. Swords, he could handle. The invisible hand the Empress wielded to do her bidding was an entirely different opponent, one he didn’t know how to attack.

  “So let me ask you again, Prince Kell. Why are you here?”

  “I wish to renew ties between our two nations.”

  “You’re lying.” She gave him that same half smile, only this time, it mocked him. “You’re here because of the Soulbearer.”

  “I admit, Arden is part of my concern. I wanted to make sure she arrived here safely and would be able to return home when she is done.”

  “And your personal feelings have nothing to do with it?” She sipped her tea before adding, “I know she spent the night in your room, even though I ordered her back to her quarters.”

  Kell resisted the urge to squirm under her stare. If anyone was guilty of spying, it was her. “Dev asked me to keep her safe, and she was quite comfortable with me.”

  She set her cup aside and leaned forward, her hands in front of her on the table. “Do you have any idea what you are dealing with?”

  “Since you are being so vague with your question, I can’t answer it.” But his stomach twisted in warning.

  “You may be infatuated with the Soulbearer. You may even think you love her. But you are the one toying with forces beyond your control, and she is caught up in them.”

  “Are you trying to tell me to stay away from her?”

  “I’m afraid your feelings for her have already placed you in danger.” She closed her eyes, and another shower of magic surrounded him. This time, however, it was more soothing than intimidating. “Oh, dear,” she whispered.

  Once again, as soon as he touched his sword, the magic vanished. Maybe there was some truth in what Dev was telling him about it. He mentally added a visit to Foresco to his Gravarian agenda. “Is there something you wish to tell me?”