by Jolene Perry
Barbara laid the dress bag with the antique dress across the couch. “This was my grandmother’s. I’d rather not leave it here, if that’s okay.” She glanced between me and the bag on the couch several times.
“It’ll make my job a little more tricky, but that’s fine.” I unzipped it and rested the layers of old fabric and thin lace on top of the bag. The dress was temple appropriate, but was probably borderline scandalous for the time, the neck was wide and the front dipped low for a wedding dress in the nineteen teens. I lost myself for a moment, imagining the dress being worn, the snug waist and floating layers drifting toward the ground.
“So, do you think you can do it?” Amber’s body tensed with anticipation.
“I can do it.” I nodded. It would be a challenge, but for five thousand dollars, I could afford to take my time. “Let me get your measurements so we can get started.”
“Great.” She smiled. “I wore snug clothing to help you out.”
Amber build was teeny tiny, even smaller than me. Her hair, nails and skin were perfectly manicured and groomed. I’d guess she wasn’t a real blond, but paid a lot of money to look like one. I wasn’t surprised. Anyone willing to shell out five grand for a dress replica would probably be well-off.
“Honey, I’m going to run a quick errand, mind if I leave you?” Barbara was a more grown up version of her daughter. Same blond hair, same neat nails.
“Sure, Mom.”
I started with Amber’s neck and took measurements in way more places than I’d need. It was better to have more than I needed, rather than less.
“Okay.” I said as I stood up, finally finished measuring everywhere I could think of. “Don’t gain or lose any weight, alright?”
She laughed. “I’ll work on that.”
“When’s the wedding?” I asked.
“Two months.” She smiled. “I had a backup dress, but I’m so happy you’ll be able to do this instead.”
I sat down next to the bag of fabric and lace they’d brought to me to make the dress. The original dress was laid out on the couch on the other side of me. I checked back and forth with my measuring tape to make sure that I had enough of everything I needed.
“So, tell me about the lucky guy,” I said as I continued to take stock.
She lit up. “Oh, he’s gorgeous and talented, and I’m so excited!”
“Well, good. You should be.” I pulled out the lace to take measurements on that. “What does he do?”
“He just finished his first film. We’ll be living in LA.” I knew. Even before I asked, I knew.
“What’s his name?”
“Noah Watson.”
I laughed. How on earth could that be possible? The odds…
“What’s funny?” she asked. “Do you know him?”
“You could say that.” I realized I probably sounded rude. “I’m sorry. Noah and I dated for a while.” The truth was that Noah was a crazy whirlwind of a relationship that had happened so fast I’d almost made the mistake of telling him yes when he’d asked me to marry him. His parting words had cut deep. Do you have any idea what you’re turning down here, Leigh? I’m about to start a career of a lifetime, and I wanted to take you with me. Do you know what a big sacrifice it is for a man to marry someone who will never be able to have children? One day you’ll see my face somewhere, and you’ll be sorry…
“Oh. You’re that Leigh.” She sat back and folded her arms.
“I’ve come up then?” I tried to keep my tone light.
“Yeah. He said you weren’t good for him. That he got really off-track when you were together.”
“What?” I almost dropped my notebook. He was the one who had sidetracked me, not the other way around. I tried to hide my irritation. Five thousand dollars was a lot of money.
“That’s what he said.” She looked straight at me. She was in love. She wouldn’t believe a thing I told her. Besides, looking her up and down, they were probably perfect for one another.
“I didn’t end things well with him,” I said. That at least was the truth. “I have no problems doing your dress, and it’ll be up to you if you want to tell him who’s doing it or not.”
She looked thoughtful. “Well, it doesn’t bother me.”
“Perfect.” I stood up, finished with my checking and re-checking. “I’ll call you in a week for your first fitting.”
“That fast?” She eyes widened, our Noah conversation forgotten.
“That fast,” I answered.
“Cool.”
I knew I had her then. I didn’t know if she’d say anything to Noah or not. I was glad that someone appreciated his qualities. Though, the further I got from that relationship, the more I felt used by it. I didn’t feel as bad for telling Noah I couldn’t marry him as I once had.
- - -
“You will never guess whose wedding dress I’m doing,” I said to Brian as soon as he walked in the door.
“Somebody famous?” He raised his eyebrows.
“Noah’s fiancé.” Now that the shock had worn off, it was a bit hysterical.
Brian stopped, stunned. “Why would you do that?”
“Because she’s paying me five thousand dollars to do it. Obviously.” I tried to tease.
“But aren’t you… or won’t you…” His forehead got all wrinkly as he watched me.
“What? I’m not going to see him. This is the bride’s thing. It’s not like I’m dressing Noah. I wouldn’t do that.” I shook my head.
“It just seems weird, that’s all.” Brian still looked upset. I’d expected him to react the way that I had.
“How could this possibly bother you?”
“I don’t know. I feel like that guy almost took you from me and the idea that you’re part of his life is just weird…”
“Part of his life? Like making a dress for the woman he’s going to marry?” I couldn’t believe Brian’s reaction.
He opened his computer and shrugged without looking at me.
“You cannot possibly be mad over this.” I had cause to be frustrated with him, not the other way around.
He sighed. “I’m not mad.”
“Then what would you call it?” I crossed my arms.
“I just can’t believe you would take on the job that’s all.” He still sounded irritated.
“No way, Brian.” I shook my head. “You do not get to be annoyed at me over this. It’s my job. I’m working really hard not to be mad because I feel like you’re shutting me out of the process of me becoming part of the family that you and Nathan already have. I feel like you somehow don’t trust me with him or something, or don’t want to work with me, and I don’t understand why, but I’ve been really good about it.
“I’ve been telling myself over and over that you just want to handle things on your own, and I should just let you. But watching my new husband drive away in a car with his son to visit his ex wife a few minutes after being left out of a meeting with my dad, and a few days after we got married, about killed me!” It all came out in a rush.
“Leigh, I don’t even know what to say.” Brian looked like he was shutting down in the sense that anything we talked about now wouldn’t solve anything.
“I was just making the point that shutting me out of that process is way worse than me making a dress so Noah can marry someone else!” I stood up and walked back to our office to check emails and look over my shop.
I heard Nathan come in from school but kept to the office. I came out around dinnertime and started dinner. Brian still sat at his computer, and Nathan colored in the living room.
“I’m sorry, Leigh.”
“About what?” I felt annoyed, and I knew it showed in my voice.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, are you sorry for overreacting about me sewing a dress, or are you sorry about keeping me from feeling like a part of your family, or both?” I couldn’t believe that just came out of my mouth. I pulled the marinated stir-fry ingredients out of the fridge.
“Leigh, you’re being completely unfair.” His voice was calm but there was something different about his eyes. They looked hard. I’d upset him.
“Then you’re not ready to apologize, and neither am I. If I can find something I need to apologize for, that is.” I turned to the stove and pulled out a frying pan. Now my jaw had to clench up to keep from crying. I kept my position, facing away from him.
Brian let a deep breath out and rubbed his hands over his face. I’d admit it, I’d taken the low road, but it looked like I’d made my point.
“Fine,” Brian said.
I turned to face him.
He frowned, still unhappy. “I’m sorry for overreacting about the dress. As for the rest of it? It’s my mess. I should be one to deal with it. How could you possibly help where Amanda is involved?”
“Apology accepted for the first and I’m still…” I tried to keep my same aloof attitude, but I couldn’t. Anything to do with Nathan affected me too much. I looked over at his small body on the couch, and had to turn back to the stove. I could feel my chin shaking in the beginnings of tears over something I felt completely helpless about.
Brian came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. “Please, Leigh. I don’t want to argue with you. It feels horrible.”
I sighed. “It’s just not really fixed, Brian. I still feel left out, and you still want it that way.” I wiped my cheeks.
“I don’t want you to feel left out,” he said. “I feel like you married a mess, and I want to clean it up a little.”
“That explanation doesn’t change how I feel.” I wanted to relax into his arms, but I couldn’t. He was right. Arguing felt horrible.
“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t going to change his mind. Amanda would be something that I was left out of. Brian and I cooked in silence. I dished the food onto plates and we ate in front of the TV.
SIX
I pulled out Amber’s dress. The main parts were complete—the trimmings, buttons and that kind of thing would take a while—but I felt good about what I’d accomplished. I knew Noah well enough to know he’d love it. It would appeal to his over-dramatic sensibilities.
“I’m here!” Amber knocked on my door as she walked into my living room.
“Well, let’s get you dressed and see where we’re at.” Her eyes went from me, and then over to Josie, one of the young women from church who’d shown up to help.
“She’s my very talented apprentice,” I explained.
“I might be just a wee bit smaller.” Amber tried to indicate a small amount with her fingers.
“I told you not to do that.” Taking in a dress with this much detail would not be an easy feat.
“I know, but Noah’s always working out and staying trim. I just want to make sure we’re even.”
I nodded. I remembered worrying about the same thing when I was with Noah.
“Let’s get this on you.” I held the dress out.
She stripped down without a thought and stepped into her gown. The full-length mirror in the living room had been moved to a good spot, alone on the wall, just for this.
“Oh my gosh.” Her hand came to her mouth. “If you could see the picture of my great-grandmother, you’d be so thrilled with your work!” She turned from side to side, sucking in her already flat stomach and grinning like she should be.
“Well, even without the picture, I’m pretty pleased with myself.” The replica was spot on. “Hold still.” I walked around her, pulling fabric in and pinning where necessary.
“Josie, could you start on the hem? Make sure you start after I do, so the bottom is even.” Josie just nodded and began her task. Amber had lost less than a half-inch. I wasn’t worried about it. Once I got the bodice reasonably fitted, I started helping Josie with the hem. I was lost in concentration when I heard a phone ring.
“Oh, that’s mine!” Amber looked at me pleadingly.
“Go ahead.” I gestured for her to move. Josie and I backed out of her way.
She snatched her phone up and beamed. “Hey, Noah,” she said in that disgustingly sweet voice that I suddenly hoped I’d never used.
Josie and I exchanged a look that said we were both thinking the same thing.
“Yeah, I have it on now, it looks incredible… I know, you were right… she does beautiful work.” She held the phone out to me. “He wants to talk to you. I had to tell him.”
I stood up and the muscle I’d pulled getting out of the car at my parents’ house took me by surprise. I gasped out once, but hid it well and rubbed my stomach a few times as I took the phone from her. The last time I’d seen Noah he’d asked me to marry him. I told him I couldn’t. He’d been angry and hurt, and had left me stranded in Salt Lake City when he walked out of the restaurant.
“Hey, Noah.” I tried to sound cheery. I didn’t want Amber to think there were any problems here. Five thousand dollars in two weeks was pretty awesome.
“So, Leigh… this is kinda crazy.” I recognized the edge in his voice.
“Yep.” I stopped. “She’s really sweet and beautiful, I’m sure you two will be very happy together.”
“Well, it sounds like you’re already learning how to suck up to your clients.”
So, this is how our conversation was going to go.
“Well, I meant it,” I said.
“Right. Whatever.” He paused for a moment and I gave Amber a reassuring smile. She was looking at me with an expectant face—like who wouldn’t want to catch up with someone they’d almost married and broken up with? “She tells me you’re married.”
“That’s right.”
“And that you’ve dropped out of school.”
“Well…” I started to say.
“And you’re taking care of the guy’s kid.”
“Yes…” My smile stuck in place. It felt like I shouldn’t be in this moment. Who is forced to talk with someone like this? Then I realized Noah wouldn’t know who I married. Amber and I hadn’t talked about me much, just her. She knew about Nathan, but probably didn’t even know his name.
Noah had never been comfortable with my relationship with Brian. It was the only thing we’d argued about when we were together. Noah had been intimidated by him at the time. And, I guess he had reason to think that something was up between us. Something was—I just hadn’t known it.
“So, you’re a college dropout who stays home to take care of someone else’s kid because you can’t have your own, and you’re doing a job you could have done in high school.”
Wow, I’d forgotten how mean he could be, and I lost my breath for a moment.
“And, if your little business doesn’t crash, you’ll spend your life working for people like me.” He laughed once or twice. I had to hold myself together so I wouldn’t cry. How had I not seen this side of him when we were together? It only came out at the end, when I’d told him no.
I wanted to scream at him over the phone, but I couldn’t.
“What, afraid to say something? Afraid you’ll lose out on your precious money?”
I gathered strength to speak. I had to do something. “Oh, I just realized you don’t know who I married.”
He was silent.
“You remember Brian, right? The tall, broad guy from next door?”
Nothing.
“I remember having to cancel a few dates with you over his son Nathan who I get to have around full time now. It’s great and I’m so happy that you’ve also found someone so incredible to share your life with.” I smiled up at Amber and heard his phone click on the other end. “Okay, yeah… it was good to catch up with you too, Noah.” I handed the phone back to Amber.
She’d heard my end of the conversation. Noah knew she’d heard it. He wouldn’t be able to complain to her about me a bit.
Brian walked in the door, and relief poured over me.
“Excuse me for a minute.” I winked at Amber. “My husband needs a proper welcome home.”
I went straight for Brian, slid my arms around
his waist and lay my head on his chest. His arms calmed me the way I knew they would. “I love you so much.”
“Wow, well, I love you too.” He glanced at Amber. “You look stunning.” He said to her in his easy, friendly way and she blushed. “Riley and I are going to go run, is that okay?” I loved that he still called our neighbor, Stuart, by his last name—part of serving in the military together.
“Fine. Amber and I have some more work to do and I just wanted to say that you were totally right.”