by A. T Brennan
Chapter Five
Rhys
I PLUGGED MY PHONE in and tried not to grin. It was easy to see that Caleb didn't do well in social situations, and he was shy, but he'd asked me to meet with him. I wouldn't call it a date, but it was a face-to-face meeting. That was a start.
As I flopped down on my couch and picked up my remote, I tried to remember the last time I'd been on a date. There had been a time when I'd used Grindr to pick up guys for hookups, but after several disappointing experiences I stopped using the app. Chimera was my go-to pick-up place now. I had a chance to see the guys in person, and dancing was a great way to find out if there was chemistry. There was nothing worse than getting your hands on a hot guy, just to realize you have zero chemistry. Then you had to decide if you're going to have awkward and disappointing sex, or if you'll call it off and admit defeat.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'd never been on a real date with a man. I'd never had a boyfriend, not a real one at least. There had been a few guys I'd liked, and we'd gotten together for a while, but we'd never put a title on it.
Up until the last year or so, ever since I watched Blaze and Galen's relationship develop, and then Cody, Isaac, and Jonah's, and then Zander and Kai's... it was only after seeing my friends couple up that I realized I wanted that.
I wanted someone I could send funny texts or random thoughts to. Someone to have dinner with or just relax on the couch together. Sex was nice, I was a big fan of both topping and bottoming, but I was only now starting to realize that sex and intimacy were different.
After spending so long in the closet, only indulging in my true desires in secret, I'd thought I craved sex, but it was intimacy I needed. I didn't want someone to get off with; I wanted someone to be with.
Without turning on the TV, I tossed the remote aside and sighed. Caleb was different from pretty much every guy who'd ever caught my attention. I didn't really have a type, outside of being a sucker for expressive eyes. Caleb had incredible eyes. They seemed to say everything, even as he kept the rest of him closely guarded.
I had no idea what Caleb wanted. I would bet money that he was attracted to me, but who knew if he was looking for something real. I had a feeling hooking up and casual sex weren't his thing, but that didn't mean he was looking for a boyfriend.
I was just about to head into the kitchen to get a drink when my iPad screen lit up and began to chime with a FaceTime call.
There was only one person I used FaceTime with, so I didn't hesitate as I propped my iPad up with the stand that was built into its case and answered the call with a swipe of my finger.
Hi V, what's wrong? I signed as my niece's face filled the screen.
Violet looked so much like my sister it was scary. Samantha, or Sam as she'd insisted on being called ever since she was old enough to boss me around, had been beautiful. She'd had the same dark blonde hair that I did. Only hers had been naturally wavy, while mine was straight. We also shared the same blue eyes and our height. I was six foot two, and Sam had been almost five foot eleven barefoot.
As kids, we'd often been mistaken for twins, even though Sam was four years older than me. We'd been as close as twins, though, and she'd been the only one who'd known I was gay until I'd officially come out three years ago as my life had gone to hell.
I hate school.
What happened?
I was put on academic probation. I'm failing chemistry and algebra.
Violet's crystal blue eyes filled with tears as she pushed her wavy blonde hair off her shoulder and tucked it behind her ear.
I'm sorry, V.
I can't follow the classes. They're saying all these words I've never seen before, and they spend so much time looking at the board I miss most of the lessons. Even with the tutoring grandma and grandpa pay for, I just can't get it.
I tried to keep my face sympathetic and not show Violet how angry I was.
My parents were all about appearances. For as long as I could remember, I'd been taught etiquette and groomed to be the perfect version of what they wanted. Everything in my life had been calculated. My father had made every school-related decision from what classes I was going to take in high school to my major in college. It had been a given that I would attend his alma matter, and even football had been pushed on me.
My mother had controlled my social life, and my youth had been filled with parties and dinners and forced dates with girls who fit what my mother was looking for. She'd even decided who I could be friends with, and none of those deemed “worthy” had been my type of person.
I'd been the perfect son. The polite little automaton who did whatever his parents said to try and not only take the heat off his older sister but also to make up for her.
Sam hadn't accepted our parents meddling the way I had. She'd been her own person and had rebelled at every turn. When she'd gotten pregnant at fifteen, our parents had given her a choice; get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. Sam had decided to keep Violet, and when we'd found out she was deaf, our parents had given in and agreed to take care of both of them as long as Sam was in school and working towards a future our parents approved of.
Sam and Violet had stayed at home until Sam graduated from college, on time and with honors. Our parents pushed her to give up her aspirations and look for a man to settle down with. Sam had refused, and she and Violet had left.
I'd been eighteen and about to go away to college myself. After six years of living with Violet, it had hurt to be separated from her. She was more than my niece; she'd been my little buddy. No matter what had been going on in my life, I always had time for Sam and Violet, and with Sam gone, Violet was my number one priority. That would never change. Not ever.
Have you asked about going into a different program? I signed, wishing I could reach through the screen and wrap my arms around her as Violet wiped her eyes.
They won't let me.
I'm sorry, sweetie. I wish there was something I could do.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Mom didn't want this for me.
I know. I felt my own eyes begin to burn as I thought about what had happened in the last four years and how we'd ended up like this. I wish it could be different.
Me too. I have to go. I have some fitting for a dress I have to wear to a party. Violet rolled her eyes and made a face, and I couldn't help laughing.
Make sure you get a spot near a window-
And find the trays of the good appetizers so I don't starve while grandma tries to keep me from eating in front of people. Violet smiled, and the sight lifted some of the pain and guilt I was feeling. Can we hang out tomorrow? That dumb dinner is on Saturday, and I have some studying thing on Sunday. I miss you, Uncle Rhys.
I miss you too, V. I can pick you up after school, if you want?
Instead of answering Violet beamed and nodded enthusiastically.
I'll meet you at our spot.
Violet grinned again and gave me the thumbs-up before putting her hand over her heart, her thumb, first finger, and pinky all extended while the others where in a tight fist.
I made the sign back and said the words to her, even though she couldn't hear them.
“I love you.”
When the screen went dark, I had to fight back the urge to throw the iPad across the room.
Sam might have been a rebel, but Violet was different. She didn't want the life my parents were forcing on her, but with her disability, she wasn't able to fight back the way her mother had. My parents controlled Violet the way they'd controlled me, and they were making her life so much harder than it had to be trying to make her “normal.”
I'd had a chance to save her from the life her mother tried to protect her from, but I'd fucked it all up, and Violet was suffering because of it.
I HAD JUST PULLED INTO a parking space on the street around the corner from Violet's private school when I saw her rushing toward me, a huge smile lighting up her face.
God, she looked like Sa
m. It was like being brought back in time and seeing my sister rushing over to walk me home from school like she had when we were kids.
I leaned over and pushed the passenger side door open as she approached my car.
“Oof,” I grunted in surprise as Violet bounded into the car and threw herself in my arms, hugging me tight.
I wrapped my arms around her and smiled against her hair as I held her, giving her as much comfort as I could in the hug. When she finally pulled away, she was still smiling, but her eyes were sad.
You look like you need ice cream. I signed after she'd closed the door and done up her seat belt.
Uncle Rhys, I'm sixteen, not six. She rolled her eyes playfully.
What? Sixteen-year-olds can't have ice cream with their favorite uncles?
Well, you're my only uncle, so....
I laughed and reached out to mess up her hair, laughing even harder as she squealed and tried to jerk away from me.
Fine, you're my favorite uncle. I'd even say you're my favorite person.
I grinned and tried to push down the emotions that bubbled up in my chest at her words. She was my favorite person in the world too.
Fine. We can get ice cream. Then I want to get changed out of this uniform. Are my clothes clean?
I started the car and nodded, grinning at her as I did.
Violet had claimed several pieces of my clothing as hers, so they spent their time in a drawer waiting for her visits after I washed them for her.
Our drives were usually silent. It was impossible to sign and drive unless I was stopped, but Violet liked to stare out the window and daydream. Sam used to do the same thing.
We went to the grocery store near my apartment and picked out two tubs of way-too-fattening ice cream, and I also grabbed some root beer for her since I didn't drink the stuff and never kept it at home.
As soon as we were inside, Violet hightailed it to my room so she could change out of her uniform. I remembered it well. The cotton pants that were too cold in the wind and too hot in the sun, and the starched white shirts that felt like they were strangling you, even before you put the tie on. The blazers had shoulder pads, so everyone looked top heavy in them, and while the girls wore plaid kilts and either knee socks or tights, we all had to wear dress shoes.
Chocolate chip cookie dough or double fudge brownie with chocolate chunks? I asked when Violet came into the living room wearing one of my football shirts from high school and a pair of sweats with the name of my college stamped on the butt. Both were ridiculously big on her, but she liked to wear them.
Both, duh. She made a face and flopped on the couch.
I pulled the lids off both containers and grabbed two spoons before sitting beside her. I handed her one of the spoons and the carton closest to her, and we both dug in.
I motioned to the TV between bites, but Violet shook her head. Usually we put some show or movie on with closed captioning. This meant there was something on her mind she wanted to talk about.
If it was about school, I was at a loss. I'd tried to talk to my parents about putting her back in a special program for the deaf to make things easier for her, but they refused. It didn't matter what I said or how much I begged. They were determined to raise Violet as “normal.”
What's up? I asked as she stabbed her spoon into her ice cream container and put it on my coffee table.
I have a boyfriend.
I almost choked on my last bite of ice cream. Violet had never held back around me, but that had been pretty direct, and unexpected.
I knew she wasn't allowed to date. She was the same age as Sam had been when Violet had been born, and my parents actually believed that the only way to stop history from repeating itself was to keep Violet away from all boys unless they were vetted and their interactions were supervised. Kind of like how they'd played matchmaker for me with girls.
Where did you meet him?
Online.
Vi-
I know, but it's different.
Explain it.
We met through Facebook. He had a mutual friend, and he liked a picture I was tagged in. I commented, he answered, I messaged him...
Have you met him in person?
Violet nodded and bit her lip. We've been dating for two months.
Wow. Is he good to you? Do you like him?
He is; he's so sweet. He's learning to sign. She smiled, her entire face softening.
That says a lot about what kind of guy he is. What's his name? Tell me about him.
His name is Aaron. She spelled out his name, her hands moving fluidly. He goes to Lincoln High, and he's a year older than me. He's so sweet and cute. Want to see a picture?
I nodded and slid closer to her as she pulled her phone out of the pocket of my sweats and unlocked it. I watched as she opened what looked like a hidden folder and pulled up an album of pictures.
Sneaky. I took the phone from her so she could sign as she showed me the pictures.
They were a cute couple. He was what Layla would call nerd chic with dark-rimmed glasses and a shy smile. He had a slight build and was about an inch shorter than Violet. It was easy to tell they were into each other. In every picture, they were somehow touching, and in the few where they weren't looking at the camera, they were staring at each other with looks of what can only be called puppy love.
After she'd described every picture in minute detail, I had a better understanding of who this guy was to her and how much she liked him.
I have to ask, V. Do you have any questions you need answers to?
The private school she attended had a strict abstinence only curriculum when it came to sex education. It had been the same way when I'd been a student. Violet didn't have a lot of close friends, and I didn't know how much Sam had told her and if there were any gaps she needed filled.
Violet blushed pink and dropped her eyes to my hands as she signed her answer.
We're not there yet, but if we do have sex, I want to make sure we're safe.
That's good, sweetie. It's always good to know this kind of thing before you need it. Your best bet is condoms. They're the most effective, and they'll protect you from STIs and pregnancy. Does Aaron have experience?
We're both virgins. Now she was blushing deep red and so focused on my hands that if she hadn't answered me, I would have wondered if she was actually seeing them.
And that was the start of the most awkward sex ed lesson I could have ever imagined. I had condoms and bananas and showed her how to put one on the other. I made sure to tell her about properly disposing of it, and how he needed to pull out when he was done to make sure she stayed protected. We talked about ovulation cycles and not only the physical part of sex but also the emotional.
As awkward as it was, I was glad she'd come to me. There was so much conflicting crap on the internet, and at least now I knew she was going to be safe and was taking charge of her health.
By the time our lesson was over it was six-thirty.
Dammit. I'd lost track of time and was way off schedule. I was supposed to be meeting Caleb in half an hour.
What? Violet asked as I swore again. She didn't hear it, but she could read it.
What time are you expected home?
Any time, but they won't say anything as long as I'm home by eight. She sighed and pushed her long hair back off her face.
Why don't you get changed, and I'll drop you off? What was your excuse?
Yearbook meeting. Violet grinned and cocked her head to the side as she looked at me closely.
What?
You're meeting someone. And it's not Tristan. Do you have a date? Oh my god, you have a date-
Whoa, down girl. I stopped her before she could get too excited. Her hands had been moving so fast I'd had trouble following them.
Do you have a date?
Not a date, just meeting someone.
A boy?
Yes, a boy. I rolled my eyes at her. Just like Sam, Violet hadn't even blinked when she found out I was
gay. Unlike my parents.
A boy you like?
Yes.
Violet clapped her hands excitedly, grinning as she almost bounced up and down on her feet.
He's shy, so we're taking it slow. This is kind of our first sort of maybe date.
Then you'd better pretty yourself up while I change. She gave me a critical look. Wear blue; it brings out your eyes.
I smiled as she hurried into my room to grab her uniform and then rushed into the spare room to change.
I didn't have to do much to get ready. A quick check of my short hair to make sure it was all going the way I wanted it to, a splash of light cologne, some new deodorant, and brushing my teeth pretty much covered it.
When I was in front of my closet, I pulled out a light blue shirt and a pair of dark wash jeans that hugged my ass and made the sadly flat surface look plush and rounded.
Holy fuck, you look hot.
Language, and thanks. I grinned as I met Violet in the hall. She was back in her school uniform and looking like the prim and proper doll my parents wanted her to be.
Seriously, so hot. You should hear what some of the girls at school say about you when they see your pictures on my Facebook. The guys too.
Underage teens saying anything about me is not something I want to hear. Ever.
Fair enough.
Violet laughed, her trademark silent laugh that lit up her face and made her shoulders shake, before nodding to my door.
How late are you going to be? She asked as we headed out.
I glanced at my phone and cursed under my breath. It was a good twenty minutes to my parents’ house and then thirty back to where I was supposed to meet Caleb in fifteen minutes. I'd fucked up.
Shit. I'm going to be really late. I should text him.
Language. And don't ruin your date. How far away is where you're meeting him?
Funny, and just far enough I can make it if I hit all the lights.
We'd made our way down to the parking garage, and I used the button on my key fob to unlock the doors for us.
Then go right there. If you don't mind me crashing your date for a few minutes, I'll get Aaron to come and pick me up.