The Doctor, His Daughter and Me

by Leonie Knight

Ryan’s words broke into her thoughts and startled her.

  ‘I…er…I—’

  Fortunately a small dynamo launched into the room like a pyrotechnic rocket. Ryan’s attention was diverted to his daughter, who climbed onto his knee and began relating, in considerable detail, the story of her day.

  ‘Hey, young lady, haven’t you forgotten your manners?’

  Ryan swivelled the child around so she was facing Tara. Bethany, suddenly lost for words, buried her head in his chest, but the little girl’s erratic behaviour didn’t seem to worry her father.

  ‘Dr Fielding, I’d like to introduce you to my daughter, Bethany,’ he said loudly, with a mischievous grin on his face. It did the job of rekindling his daughter’s apparent wish to be the centre of attention.

  ‘Hello.’

  Tara chuckled.

  ‘We met earlier, and I must say Bethany has a lovely singing voice. I particularly enjoyed her special rendition of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”.’ She paused. ‘Will Bethany be coming with you to Keysdale from now on?’ Tara was curious as to his childcare arrangements.

  Bethany grinned with pleasure at what she obviously perceived as a compliment about her singing. She climbed off her father’s knee and sidled over to Tara, grasping her hand in what could only be interpreted as a childish way of demonstrating her acceptance of Tara.

  ‘No, this weekend is the exception,’ Ryan said with eyes slightly narrowed, as if he was defending his actions. ‘Bethany usually stays in Perth when I come to Keysdale. Christine—you probably know her; she’s Liz’s cousin and now Bethany’s nanny—has come down this weekend and is staying with Liz. Christine needed to collect some more of her things she wants to take back and at the moment is attending an appointment in town. I didn’t see any problem with Bethany staying here for an hour or so. Liz was quite happy to supervise.’

  ‘So I noticed.’ She glanced at the child in an effort to include her in the conversation. ‘And you were being very good for Liz and your daddy when I came.’

  In the next minute or two Bethany managed to climb onto Tara’s knees, and she was suffused with a warm glow of pleasure at the child accepting her so readily.

  Too readily?

  ‘Can I have a ride now?’ Bethany’s eyes beseeched in a way that was impossible to refuse, but Tara glanced at Ryan before she replied. He nodded.

  ‘Okay, but you’ve got to hold on tight.’

  Tara executed a perfect three-point turn at the same moment Liz appeared at the doorway. The older woman’s eyes widened as she took in the scene. A very cosy scene…

  ‘I was just—’

  ‘You don’t need to explain. I can see you’ve made a new friend and I don’t want to interrupt.’ Her attention turned to Ryan. ‘I’ve finished for the day and wondered if you could lock up and set the alarm? You’re welcome over any time after six.’ She smiled, tousled Bethany’s hair and then added, looking at Tara, ‘Would you like to join us for dinner?’

  ‘No, I’d better get home. I’m running late already and Mum and Dad worry.’ The response was automatic.

  ‘It’s nothing fancy. Just a casual barbecue out by the pool.’ Liz wasn’t about to accept her refusal easily. ‘We’d love you to come.’

  ‘Yes, love you to come.’ Bethany echoed Liz’s words, and that beseeching, impossible-to-refuse expression returned to her face. ‘Ple-e-e-e-ase,’ she added.

  Tara laughed. ‘Well, I guess if you put it like that…how can I refuse?’ She leaned down and gave Bethany a hug and it felt good. In fact Tara hadn’t felt so content in a long time. It felt like…She shuddered in disbelief.

  It felt like coming home.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘DO YOU know where Liz lives?’ Ryan said tentatively. Liz had already left and Bethany was fidgeting at the door, impatient to get moving.

  ‘Yes. She’s been a good friend of Mum’s for as long as I can remember. I used to play with her kids. I haven’t been there for a while. In fact the pool’s a new addition,’ she added as she headed for the exit. ‘If you’re ready to go I could do with a hand with the chair.’

  He nodded. ‘Of course.’ His tone was polite. He didn’t want to put her off. It was a breakthrough that she’d accepted Liz’s invitation without a protest.

  ‘And I’ll need to ring Mum,’ she muttered as she cruised through the door.

  But then she stopped, reversed and said something to Bethany he didn’t hear. A moment later his daughter was comfortably seated on Tara’s lap.

  ‘I promised Bethany a ride. Is that okay?’

  ‘Sure, go for it.’

  His daughter started giggling as they sped towards the exit.

  His heart skipped a beat.

  They looked so relaxed together—his daughter and the woman he had never fallen out of love with.

  He gathered his bag to follow them, dismissing any thoughts of reconciliation from his mind. Tara had already made it quite clear how she felt about him, but that didn’t stop the fantasies slipping into his mind when he least expected them.

  Which included thoughts about a future…that included Tara.

  He locked the doors of the specialist rooms and set the alarm before hurrying down the corridor. The scene that greeted him when he stepped outside amazed him, to say the least. Tara and Bethany were doing the two-wheeled equivalent of wheelies around the near-empty car park and his gut reaction was to stop them. It was dangerous. Wasn’t it?

  But Tara’s face was lit up with the child-like joy of fun times from the past and Bethany screamed with laughter as they did a one-eighty-degree turn. Tara appeared to know what she was doing and he didn’t want to break the moment. It didn’t last long, though. Tara noticed him staring and she slowed down, making her way sedately back to the vehicles. She was breathless when she pulled up beside him, and Bethany began to grumble a protest.

  ‘Sorry,’ Tara said. All the excitement that had lit her face a few moments ago disappeared. ‘I promised Bethany a ride and I just got a bit carried away.’

  ‘Yes, well…’ He looked at the recalcitrant pair sternly. ‘Don’t let it happen again.’

  Ryan’s mouth twitched with a hint of a smile as Bethany’s expression mirrored almost exactly the mix of the contrition and defiance on Tara’s face.

  ‘Apology accepted.’ He turned towards his car and clicked the remote. ‘Let’s get you strapped in, Beth.’

  The next five minutes were taken up with sorting out Tara’s move into her car and loading the chair in the back. He let her drive off first, and as he reversed out of his space his daughter piped up cheerfully from the back, ‘What’s the matter with that nice lady’s—?’

  ‘Her name’s Tara, sweetheart,’ Ryan said, hoping for an extra moment to compose his answer, cursing himself for not realising how naturally curious and uninhibited small children can be.

  ‘Okay,’ she said slowly. Ryan could almost hear the cogs turning in her head. ‘What’s the matter with Tara’s legs? Why can’t she walk? Why does she have to ride in that chair all the time?’

  He had no idea what was the appropriate thing to say. He’d just have to wing it.

  ‘She had an accident, Beth, and hurt her back and her legs so bad they don’t work properly any more.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Ryan tried desperately to think of something to change the subject but he was too late.

  ‘You’ll be able to fix them, then, ‘cause that’s what you do.’

  Ryan was lost for words.

  If only he could.

  * * *

  Seeing Ryan with Bethany, having the young girl offering the kind of simple, unconditional friendship only a small child could give, and the prospect of spending the evening with father and child had Tara’s heart fluttering with a combination of anticipation, nerves and a dash of hope thrown in for good measure. The fact that since Ryan had been back she’d realised she still loved him with the same joyful passion she’d had before the accident had been a revelati
on for her. She was confused. With her heart, she wanted Ryan in every sense of the word. She’d even dreamed of making love with him and it was magic.

  But…

  Would Ryan ever want her?

  Aside from all the rational, sane reasons why another relationship with him would be doomed before it started, she was getting signals that her ex-husband wanted at least to be friends and that he wasn’t put off by her disabilities. Might he even regard her as attractive? It was a question she hadn’t even considered asking herself until now.

  Was meeting Bethany what had changed things for her? Seeing Ryan fall so naturally into the role of father had been a revelation for her. His love for his daughter seemed so natural. Fatherhood only served to make him more attractive to her.

  She pulled into the driveway leading up to Liz’s house, parked the car and suddenly remembered she hadn’t rung her parents.

  Enough dreaming about things that were about as likely to happen as the sun rising in the west. She removed her phone from her pocket and dialled her parents’ number. Her mother answered.

  ‘I won’t be home for dinner, Mum. Sorry about the short notice.’

  ‘Oh, that’s a pity. I’ve made the baked chicken breasts you like.’

  Tara refused to feel guilty. She was a grown woman and entitled to have a life of her own. Why hadn’t she realised before? Why had she led such a cloistered life? Was it to please her parents? Or to protect herself from more hurt? Or maybe the life she now led had simply become a comfortable habit?

  But habits could be broken. Old relationships could be given new life—to her surprise her mind was still full of Ryan.

  She took a deep breath and suddenly felt a new freedom—a lightening of her heavy heart, a sense of breaking free. And it all had to do with the man who was about to accompany her on the first night out she’d had for months.

  She focussed back on the conversation with her mother.

  ‘That’s a shame.’ Tara hesitated. ‘I’m always up for leftovers. You know my appetite. I’ll have what’s left for lunch.’

  The light-hearted approach didn’t seem to be working.

  ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘To Liz Tate’s place. She and Steve are having a family barbecue and asked me if I would like to come over. It was a spur-of-the-moment invite and I thought it would be nice. I haven’t seen their revamped entertaining area…’

  How many other thirty-five-year-olds had to account for every move they made to their parents? She suddenly felt claustrophobic and rebellious.

  ‘I might be home late, but I’ll be up early enough to help in the dairy.’ She knew both her parents wouldn’t settle until she was home, tucked up in her own bed. ‘Bye, Mum. See you later.’ She hung up before her mother could start grilling her. That could wait until the morning.

  A few seconds later Ryan pulled up and parked beside her. She opened her door and began to move towards the edge of her seat in preparation for the transfer. Ryan released Bethany from her booster seat and the child stood quietly watching as her father lowered the chair and wheeled it to the driver’s side.

  Tara managed the transfer easily, and his daughter seemed fascinated by the whole procedure.

  ‘Daddy said your legs don’t work because they were hurt. But he can fix them ‘cause he’s a bone doctor and that’s what he does.’

  Tara glanced at Ryan. Why on earth would he tell Bethany that? He shrugged and shook his head.

  ‘That’s her take on what I said—which wasn’t anything about fixing them.’ He looked bewildered and embarrassed, but didn’t have time to dwell on what Bethany had said and the implications.

  The child, now much bolder than earlier, walked over and gently touched her legs.

  ‘Can you swim?’

  ‘Yes, I can swim.’ Tara laughed at Bethany’s audacity. ‘In fact I’m a very good swimmer.’

  ‘Good, because Daddy said I could go for a swim in the pool, but I want you to swim with me.’

  What had father and daughter been plotting on the short journey to Liz’s? There was no way she was going swimming, and Ryan should have realised that and not got Bethany’s hopes up.

  ‘Sorry, darling, but maybe another time. For a start I haven’t got my bathers with me—’

  ‘Oh…’

  The child looked disappointed, but Tara wasn’t going to change her mind. It was easy to distract her, though.

  ‘Let’s go inside. It’s getting chilly out here.’ Ryan came to the rescue.

  When they reached the front door and rang the bell Liz appeared and greeted the threesome warmly. They made their way to the back patio where she introduced Ryan to her husband, Steve, her son, Gus, and Gus’s wife, Rachel.

  ‘The splash maniacs in the pool are our two kids, Bonnie and Daisy,’ Gus informed them, after shaking hands vigorously with Ryan and kissing Tara lightly on the cheek.

  ‘And you’re expecting your third?’ Tara glanced at Rachel’s noticeable bump, which she estimated to be five to six months along. ‘I don’t think I’ve seen you since you fell pregnant.’

  ‘No, I see Dr Fletcher, and he does his antenatal clinic on Mondays. What with two kids, the farm and a demanding husband…’ she looked over at her husband and winked ‘… I never seem to have enough time in the day.’ She squeezed Tara’s hand and added, ‘We must get together for a cuppa some time, or maybe a girls’ day out at Bayfield.’

  ‘Yes, we must.’ But Tara suspected it wouldn’t happen any time soon. Rachel led a busy life. Maybe after the baby was born. ‘Do you know the sex?’ Tara asked. Most couples were more than happy to find out the gender of their unborn baby fairly early in the pregnancy, and by the gleam in Gus’s eyes…

  ‘It’s a boy,’ Gus said.

  A cloud of envy hung low over Tara as she observed the happy family. But it didn’t last for long. Bethany suddenly overcame her shyness when Christine emerged from the house.

  ‘I want to go swimming.’

  Christine smiled and bent down to pick Bethany up.

  ‘You said you’d bring my bathers.’

  The child wriggled to get down and stripped off her soft grey and white striped hoodie, fumbled with the fastenings of her lolly-pink denim overalls. Practical but cute—and very girly, Tara thought. How wonderful it would be to go shopping with a little girl like Bethany.

  ‘Hang on a minute—you can change in my room,’ Christine said.

  At that moment Steve appeared with an ice-filled coolbox of drinks and a large tray of meat balanced on his other hand.

  ‘If you don’t mind serving yourself with drinks, I’m about to start cooking.’

  Liz added, ‘It’ll probably be at least half an hour until the food’s up. Why don’t you two go for a swim? The pool’s solar-heated. Steve can lend you some board shorts, Ryan, and I have a one-piece suit that would fit you, Tara.’

  ‘No.’

  The single word was out of Tara’s mouth before she had time to stop it, and six curious eyes were directed her way, waiting for an explanation. She couldn’t tell them her gut response to Liz’s innocent offer was all to do with Ryan, though. That she’d been imagining what it would be like to renew an intimacy, with all its associated fervour of needs and desires. But she knew lovemaking would never be the same and she wasn’t ready to strip off. There was no way she could expose her body and her vulnerabilities to him. She definitely wasn’t ready. Not yet.

  ‘Um, sorry. I’d much rather be a spectator tonight.’

  Liz threw her an understanding glance, but Tara couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact with Ryan.

  ‘No problem,’ Liz said quietly. She pointed to the other side of the pool, where her daughter-in-law sat, keeping an eagle eye on Daisy and Bonnie. ‘I’m sure Rachel could do with some company.’

  As Tara made her way around the pool she saw him on the edge of her peripheral vision, and when she turned to look at him Ryan’s eyes locked with hers and she knew exactly what he was think
ing. It was like the old days.

  He wanted her.

  She could see the desire fizzing in his eyes and rippling in the muscles of his slick, bare chest.

  He wanted her?

  If she was right, what the hell was she going to do about it?

  * * *

  When Ryan summoned up the courage to make an appearance in oversized Hawaiian-print board shorts held up by a tenuous waist cord, with a lime-green bathtowel slung over his shoulders, Bethany was waiting at the side of the pool. He took a moment to search for Tara and noticed her heading for Liz’s daughter-in-law. God, she was beautiful. He imagined her in a sexy, skimpy swimsuit moulded seductively to her curves.

  At that moment she glanced at him and they connected…She blushed, quickly wheeled herself towards her friend and became engrossed in serious conversation.

  What was that all about?

  There was definitely a spark. Something new. Something that gave Ryan a morsel of hope he’d not had till now.

  But he didn’t have time to ruminate.

  ‘Daddy. What’s the matter? I want to swim.’ Bethany’s demand was non-negotiable. ‘The water’s warm, Daddy. And Christine says I can borrow some of Daisy’s floaty things ‘cos she can swim already and doesn’t need them any more.’

  Bethany had obviously had no trouble making friends with the junior members of the Tate family. In fact one of them was doing a fast dog paddle towards them. She climbed onto the step.

  ‘Is that your dad?’ The girl wasn’t one to mince words.

  ‘Yes,’ Bethany said proudly, to Ryan’s amusement.

  ‘And is that your mum?’

  Ryan’s head spun around to look in the same direction as Daisy, but Bethany still had her attention firmly fixed on her new friend.

  ‘My mummy’s gone away for a long time to…um…where has she gone, Daddy?’

  ‘To Sydney, darling.’ He managed to drag his gaze back to his daughter, but wasn’t totally successful in erasing from his mind his imagined vision of Tara’s super-fit body in a swimsuit.

  ‘Who’s that, then?’ Daisy pointed at Tara.

  Bethany turned to see the focus of Daisy’s attention and her face broke into a broad grin. ‘That’s daddy’s new friend. She’s a doctor too.’