by Debra Kayn
"What are you going to do?" called Merk.
Bear kept walking. "I'm going to figure out how to stop Madison from thinking and instead, start doing."
He lumbered down the sidewalk and crossed the street. Halfway to figuring out what Madison needed, he whistled a Queen song, We Will Rock You, under his breath as he sat his Harley and rode back to the Moroad Motel. He'd give her one more day alone and watch over her.
Chapter Twenty Eight
The evening sun hit the peaks of the Bitterroot Mountains. Madison stretched her bare legs out in front of her on the towel she'd borrowed from the inn to sit on the grass and leaned back on her hands, enjoying the sunset.
Time slipped away from her as she people watched and relaxed. Soon, she'd have to go inside her room. Except, she wasn't ready to go inside.
The last time she took the time and evaluated the world outside a bordello, she'd taken her week-long break between working in San Francisco and Seattle. She'd sat on The Pier, taking in the sound of the water lapping at the shore as people from all walks of life strolled past without even glancing at her.
Her world went by without notice.
Here, in Federal, life played out differently. Time went slower and more importantly, everyone who walked by her either smiled or offered a friendly hello. She'd smile or wave in return with nary a conversation. People, locals, even children, checked her out, but gave her privacy, refusing to invade her space.
They noticed her, respected her, and not once had she been thrust into an uncomfortable situation where she had to explain she couldn't speak.
Today had been better than yesterday, and yesterday was better than the day before. She continued to look forward, her ideas of what to do with her life clearer, though she hadn't looked into what kind of jobs were available in Federal yet.
Her phone beeped. Her heart raced, and she sat up, stretching to grab her cell.
Her heart sank. She wanted Bear to text her. She'd purposely left his texts unanswered the day she'd left Red Light; afraid she'd change her mind if she talked to him. She'd waited and checked constantly since, believing he'd try and contact her. He hadn't.
Tiff: "I thought I'd text you in case you're still in Federal. The women from Moroad have a Girl's Night Out tonight at Rail Point Bar. I thought you'd like to see a friendly face (Me!) and I'd love to see you outside of the Sterling building. Eight o'clock. It'll be fun."
For four days, she hadn't texted, wrote, or otherwise talked with anyone. She wiggled her feet deciding if she should reach out to Tiff and respond. She liked Tiff. Other women, if they were privy to her occupation, weren't always as nice.
She crossed her legs, excitement filling her. Tiff would also know about Bear and how he was doing. She could find out if she'd ruined everything by taking the time to understand herself more and trying to go back to Bear clean and complete.
She typed a reply. "Only girls or will Bear be there?"
Tiff replied instantly. "Girls only. Not even husbands and boyfriends are allowed. Please come!"
"Okay. I'll try to make it for a little bit. Thank you." She hit send and flopped back on the towel, staring up into the darkening sky.
Instantly, she regretted agreeing to go out and join Tiff and her friends. It was easy to act fine and eager for conversation when she spent her days alone without company. It took a strong self-esteem and confidence to walk into a group of women who were long-time friends, knew Bear, and would judge her as the outsider.
She could always bail. Tiff had no idea she stayed at the inn, and any future texts could go ignored.
The outside streetlights came on. She sat up and rubbed the chill out of her arms. Her stomach fluttered with uncertainties, but her head told her to go. If she found out about Bear, the pain and suffering she'd go through with the others would be worth it.
She headed inside to her room, brushed her hair, visited the bathroom, and grabbed a sweater. Bolstered to have a night out and find out about Bear, she grabbed her purse, making sure she had the room key and enough cash for a couple of drinks, and then she started out for the quarter mile walk to the bar.
Away from the parking lot of the inn, she speed-walked toward Main Street and the street lights. Her teeth chattered, and she clamped her lips together. She never took into consideration the three blocks she had to walk were unlit.
She glanced over her shoulder, trying to keep calm. The dark always bothered her. She avoided going out alone at all cost. Being a non-speaker put her at a disadvantage. When all the girls in high school attended a self-protection class, the instructor spoke about a girl's voice being her biggest weapon. She was supposed to yell and attract attention if danger showed itself.
The first time it was her turn to stand in front of the class and go through the motions of being attacked, she got reprimanded in front of all the girls for not participating and walked out of the gym, but not before she flipped off the teacher and received detention for three days after school. On the fourth day when she returned to the gym, the instructor handed her a small whistle on a chain to wear around her neck so she could participate in the class.
Her walk turned into a jog. She wished she still had the whistle.
It was one of the nicest gifts she'd ever received, but she'd lost it in her travels. Her new skill at using her mouth to whistle wouldn't grab the attention of anyone out of a ten-foot radius.
Once the bar came into sight and the street lights lit up the area, she slowed down and caught her breath, letting the night air cool her overheated skin. She'd made it without incident.
Rounding the corner of the Rail Point Bar, she inhaled deeply and smoothed her hair from her face. The door was propped open, and she walked inside. Her chest warmed at the familiar decorations facing her. The date night with Bear when they'd sat the night away, laughing, talking, and flirting fresh in her mind, she searched the crowded room for Tiff.
At least thirty females packed the area already mingling, drinking, and dancing. Madison worked her way through the bodies to the bar and sat on a vacant stool. A different female bartender than the one she'd had the night Bear took her out smiled at her from the end of the counter and headed her way. She reached into her back pocket to grab her notepad to write her drink preference when someone laid their hand on her back. She swiveled and found herself wrapped in Tiff's hug.
"I'm so glad you made it." Tiff reached out for the stool beside Madison and sat. "What's your drink of choice? Margarita?"
Madison shook her head.
"Cosmo?" said Tiff.
Madison grinned and shook her head again.
"I got it. Do you like Hawaiian Dream?
She nodded and wrote on her notepad. "Perfect."
"I remembered you like pineapple from when we ordered pizza." Tiff turned and shouted out the order to the bartender and turned back to Tiff. "So, tell me. How are you doing?"
Aware of a few curious women looking at her, she put the tablet on her lap and ducked her chin to write. "Good. I've been lazy and catching up on my sleep. I've wandered around Federal playing tourist and went to that coffee shop down the road. Did I cause you trouble when I left?"
Tiff read the note. "No, no, the other ladies are enjoying the extra work and counting their tips every night. Don't worry about my place. The Network understood and removed your file. You're not the first employee who has left."
Madison hurried and replied to her. "You've been so nice and understanding. Thank you, and thank you for inviting me tonight."
The drinks came. Madison took a sip and closed her eyes while she absorbed the flavor.
"Come with me and I'll introduce you to some of my friends." Tiff grabbed Madison's arm, slid her off the stool, and pulled her through the crowd to the pool table.
Tiff stopped her abruptly in front of a woman sizing her up and who held a cue stick in her hands. Madison smiled. Introductions were always awkward for other people. First, they'd feel stupid for talking to someone who couldn't rep
ly back and then they'd judge her wondering if she understood them.
"Desiree, this is Madison. She's staying in Federal for a while." Tiff turned to Madison. "This is Desiree, she owns the bar, and she also belongs to Merk, who belongs to Moroad."
"Nice to meet you, Madison." Tiff planted the cue stick between her feet. "Are you enjoying Federal?"
Madison nodded.
"Oh, Madison is mute, but she can hear. Smiling means yes, shaking her head usually means no, and if you're still confused, she can talk to you by writing on her notepad." Tiff laughed. "I've even seen her shut someone down by writing a simple sentence on paper, so watch out."
Madison's cheeks warmed, knowing Tiff understood her need to put Sunny in her place back at Red Light. Sunny had learned it was hard to argue with someone who couldn't yell insults back.
"So, basically, she'd give all the men in Moroad a run for their money in the silent department?" Desiree grinned. "I like her."
"Exactly, and she doesn't grunt her answers, so she's nicer to have around." Tiff nudged Madison with her elbow. "I'm going to introduce her to Christina and Amy."
"Whoa...hang on." Desiree leaned in closer. "Why not the other women? What's going on? What don't I know?"
Madison looked away from the conversation. She had no idea what they were talking about, but the significance of her only being introduced to certain women seemed to be a huge warning sign for Desiree. Was Tiff keeping her away from certain women on purpose? Was she not good enough to mingle because she'd worked at Red Light?
"Who did Merk first introduce you to?" whispered Tiff to Desiree.
"Oh..." Desiree's eyes widened, and her smile grew bigger. "Awesome, go forth and have her meet everybody, and if you need anything let me know."
Tiff pulled her away from the pool table and whispered. "Ignore Desiree's excitement. We usually don't have many new women join the regulars at Girl's Night Out."
She nodded and wrote on her notepad. "Have you seen Bear? How is he?"
Tiff stopped and read the message. "Girl's Night Out, girl. No talking about men."
Madison's forehead ached at the lack of an answer. Tiff pulled her through the room trying to distract her. The main reason she came to the bar was to find out if she'd destroyed everything she and Bear had developed between them.
Tiff sat her down in a booth across from two ladies and slid in beside her, blocking her in. Her smile felt forced, but she continued being open minded around the women who remained strangers to her. The glances directed toward her were more curious than irritated at having someone new spending time with them.
Tiff pointed at an older woman with a steel gaze and closed posture. Not unfriendly but leery. "This is Christina. She belongs to Cam, who is Jeremy's dad."
Madison lifted her hand in a small wave and dipped her chin in acknowledgment.
"And this is Amy. She belongs to Jacko. As you can probably guess, the women I introduced you to all belong to Moroad men, but are not one of the women who belong to the club." Tiff grinned overly bright. "Some of the Moroad women are here at the bar, but most of them are dancing at Silver Girls tonight."
Information overload.
Madison gazed around the bar wondering if she could pick out the prostitutes. Catching herself ignoring Christina and Amy, she grabbed her notepad and wrote.
"It's nice to meet you both." She pushed the paper to the middle of the table.
Tiff lifted her drink. "Madison is mute, but she can hear."
Amy patted Madison's hand. "I know sign language if that's easier for you."
Madison signed yes, and because she hadn't used her hands to talk in a long time, she signed the rest of what she'd say if she could speak. "It was nice of Tiff to invite me to come. I've been enjoying Federal the last several days, but I'm curious about job openings around town. I haven't found any signs in the windows."
"Ah, it's a small town. Most business owners let their friends know when they're looking for someone to work for them. Someone always has a relative or knows someone who is looking for a job or even a second job. What do you like to do?" asked Amy.
"Is she looking for a job?" Christina titled her head and continued studying Madison.
"Yes, she's wondering why there are no signs up in the windows." Amy sighed. "It's almost the end of tourist season and so many jobs are ending until late spring when the shops will open again."
"The bank is looking for a teller." Christina hooked her mahogany colored hair behind her ear.
Madison wrinkled her nose and signed. "I can't count money back to the customer."
"She'd need to be able to talk," translated Amy.
"Ah, right." Christina held up her finger. "What about Dr. Brandof, the office lady who did filing for him is pregnant. He'll be looking for someone soon."
Madison leaned forward curious because she liked Dr. Brandof, and signed. "Phones are difficult because I rely on texts to communicate."
"She's worried about answering phones," translated Amy.
"No, I don't think Darlene ever answers the phone over there. That's Suzanne's job at the front counter." Tiff pressed her fingers to her temple. "In fact, the more I think about it, I believe Darlene does the billing to the insurance companies and all the backend work. Patients never see her. You should stop at Dr. Brandof's office and ask him about it."
"Thank you so much. I will," signed Madison.
"She will and wants us to know she's thankful for the info." Amy grinned. "That was fun."
"Where the hell did you learn to do sign language?" Tiff wiped her mouth on a napkin.
"There's a nurse at the place where my sister lives who is deaf and there're several patients there who use sign language. Over the last couple of years, I've tried to learn enough I can communicate with her when she's helping Sarah." Amy leaned back in the booth.
The bartender arrived with a tray of drinks. "On the house, ladies. Desiree wants you to try the new drink we're testing out. It's called Kickin' Buns."
"Oh, great. I'm done for." Christina moaned. "Every time she introduces us to something, Cam ties me to the back of his bike when he picks me up."
"Oh, come on, live dangerously." Tiff grabbed two drinks, putting one in front of Madison, and taking the other. "Bottoms up, ladies."
Madison eyed the tumbler, sniffed the liquid, pulled back, and whistled. The sound stopped everyone at the table, and all eyes stared at Madison. She gazed around at the surprised faces and realized what she'd done.
"Sorry, I recently learned how to whistle," she signed.
Amy translated for the others and added, "If you can whistle is there hope you can sound out some words?"
She shook her head and signed.
"Wait." Amy shook her head. "You've lost me. I can't figure out what most of those signs are."
Madison wrote on her notepad. "No, it's impossible for me to talk due to the scar tissue around my vocal box. Whistling is done with air, and since I can breathe, I only had to learn to form my lips correctly and blow softly."
"Wow, who knew." Amy sipped her drink. "What about coughing?"
"Shit." Tiff one arm hugged Madison. "Excuse Amy, even when she's not drinking, she likes to ask questions."
"Was I being rude?" Amy bugged her eyes at Tiff. "Coughing is air, right?"
Madison wrote her answer down. "My cough doesn't sound the same. More of a cat choking on a hairball. Silent and like I’m gagging. When I sneeze, it's like an airy whoosh. Whistling though is nice sounding and normal."
"That's great, and I bet it's almost like singing along to the music when you whistle." Christina smiled at Madison. "It's also fascinating. I don't think I've ever met someone who was mute."
Madison smiled. She rather have other people ask her questions than sit and let them speculate what she could and couldn't do.
"Okay, what is this drink?" Tiff peered down into the glass. "It's cinnamon, so I'm guessing it has Fireball in it. That seems to be Desiree's secret ingredient t
o all her drinks lately. I walk out of here smelling like I've been smacking Big Red gum all night."
Madison took another drink and wrote on paper. "Tastes like a cinnamon roll? Really sugary."
"Yeah, I think you're right." Tiff took another drink. "Mm, this is a keeper."
Two more drinks and Madison could feel the buzz invading the room. She'd hung out with the three women Tiff introduced her to most of the night and her bed at the inn started sounding better and better.
She wrote on her notepad. "I'm calling it a night before I curl up in the booth and fall asleep. It was nice to meet you all, and thank you for including me."
Christina, Amy, Tiff, and even Desiree came over to hug her goodbye. Her throat tightened, and she held back from telling them how much she appreciated their acceptance. They wouldn't understand how tonight gave her something she'd never had before. She wanted to stay. She wanted to know more about each one of them. And, she wanted to pretend they'd never find out she'd worked as a prostitute for Tiff.
The night out went better than she'd hoped. After the first hour, she stopped worrying if Tiff would drop the black secret and let her friends know Madison wasn't someone visiting Federal or an acquaintance from town, but Tiff never said a word. For one night, she was a woman with no history, and there were times even she forgot what she'd done for a living.
"Don't forget to talk to Dr. Brandof," said Tiff.
She flinched, then realized the reminder was about the job and not her weekly checkup and nodded. When she got back to her room, she'd leave a note reminding her in case she forgot.
Knowing she wouldn't have another chance, she wrote a private note to Tiff. "How is Bear?"
Tiff read the paper and ignored Madison's question when Christina leaned against Tiff. Christina dug her phone out of her pocket. "Someone should call one of the men to escort Madison."
Tiff grabbed Christina's wrist. "It's okay. She'll be fine."
"But it's after two in the morning," said Christina. "You know the rules."
Tiff hugged Christina. Madison used the distraction to wave at the others and walk to the front door. The night air would wake her up, and the exercise after drinking so much would relax her by the time she made it to the inn.