by Debra Kayn
"That's what we do here. I don't understand why you'd think I'd be upset," whispered Tiff.
She tore off the paper and started writing on a new piece. "You're Bear's friend. I shouldn't be doing—"
Tiff put her hand on Madison's wrist stopping her from explaining. "I've owned the Red Light for almost ten years. In that time, I've come across many types of women. Some are open about their reasons for being a prostitute, and others go through their stay without sharing any part of themselves with me or the other ladies. I don't judge. I own the business. I expect the ladies to work. I ask them to do things most women can't do, and I know what goes on behind closed doors, Madison."
Madison studied Tiff. The other woman met her gaze and sat confidently in what she'd said. There was no reason to believe Tiff lied to her.
Except, everyone judged and Tiff loved Bear. Having Tiff see her involved with a customer was wrong.
"Ah, honey, this is more than what you do for a living, isn't it?" Tiff gathered Madison's hand in hers and held on tight. "Forget your job. Forget my job. What you're going through has to do with your feelings for Bear, and you're trying to keep your job separate. All the lines we're not supposed to cross have been stepped over and stomped on. For nobody's fault, I opened the door, and now you're wondering what I think of you and probably assuming I want better for Bear. Am I close?"
Madison nodded, relieved Tiff could vocalize what she was afraid to admit. Bear deserved a woman who could center her life around his or, at least, compromise. In all their conversations, Bear never once made her feel bad for selling sex. Neither had he asked her to stop.
While the need to explore each other more, Bear made unfair sacrifices because of her occupation. Deep down, she wondered if her crying jags, her upset stomach, her headaches lately were a result of guilt eating her up.
In her heart, she wanted to belong to Bear completely. She wanted to prove she was worth something to him.
She wanted to be lovable.
Madison pulled her hand away from Tiff, and before she lost her nerve, she wrote what she'd wanted to say for a while and wasn't brave enough to do.
"I need to quit working here. I'll contact the Network and let them know I'm no longer working under contract or in the system. I'll hand over all my tips I've made, and hopefully, that covers you being shorted for my remaining time here. I'll pack my bags and be gone tonight." She handed the paper to Tiff and stood.
Tiff gazed up at her and in a lower, firmer voice, said, "Don't run away from Bear."
Madison shook her head and wrote another note, passing it to Tiff.
"I'm running toward him. I need the next two weeks to prove to myself that I can be the woman I want to be. The woman that Bear deserves. If I'm meant to be with Bear, two weeks apart will only help both of us."
Tiff followed her out to the bedroom. "Where are you going?"
"I've been on my own for a long time. I need to relearn how to survive and deal with whatever normal women handle every day of their life." She passed Tiff the piece of paper.
"Let me call Bear," said Tiff.
Madison shook her head.
"I get why you're doing this." Tiff glanced at the wad of papers in her hand and then raised her gaze to Madison. "I'd wish you luck, but I have a feeling you're going to do fine."
"I hope so. I've never wanted something so badly. Not even my voice when it hit me that I'd never talk again." Madison handed the notepad and pen to Tiff, and on impulse hugged the woman who gave her a chance.
"I'll explain your absence to the others as you've left the Network. Pack your things and when you're ready, I'll walk you down to the main floor, and you can leave out the back before Silver Girls opens. Do you need me to make arrangements at a motel or wherever?" Tiff squeezed her once more.
Madison shook her head and patted her chest. She'd figure everything out once she stepped out onto the sidewalk with the freedom to go wherever she wanted. If she was going to make it on her own, she needed to do things herself from the start or she'd never believe she could succeed.
Tiff sighed and walked out of the room. Madison stood at the end of the bed, overwhelmed and excited and scared. Either she made the biggest mistake of her life or the best decision for her.
Chapter Twenty Six
Silver Girls closed ten minutes ago. The show over.
Bear paced the hallway between the main room of the Sterling Building and the dressing room for the dancers. He hadn't seen or heard from Madison. For two hours he'd waited for Madison to come out on the balcony, answer his texts, answer his calls, answer the taps on her sliding glass door to her room.
He'd spent another two hours trying to get answers from his MC brothers watching the dancers, from Jeremy, and nobody understood his concern. He wasn't even allowed upstairs or to be with her.
Bear stopped in front of his president. Jeremy had refused to go upstairs while Silver Girls remained open and find out what was the matter with Madison. He had his suspicions his president kept information about Madison from him.
Madison was his, regardless of what Jeremy stated about her belonging to Red Light.
"Madison has nothing to do with club business." A growl erupted from Bear's chest. "I'll fucking go through you and the door."
"Tiff's coming down to talk to you." Jeremy placed his hand on Bear's chest. "Back off and wait."
"Four fucking hours, man. Someone needs to check on Madison." Bear pushed against the hand holding him from storming the upstairs. "Have you even seen her? Talked to her?"
Tiff appeared behind Jeremy. Bear's whole body shifted, and he focused on Tiff.
Her pinched brows.
Her stiff posture.
Bear head roared with pressure. Something fucking wrong was going on.
Tiff crooked her finger, leading him to the main room. He followed Tiff into the room and sat when she pointed to the chair. "What's going on?"
"I'll tell you everything I know." Tiff sat down and glanced at Jeremy before turning back to Bear. "Madison quit earlier. She's no longer working at Red Light."
"Jesus Christ and you waited until now to tell me?" Bear leaned forward, grabbing the edge of the table. "What happened?"
Jeremy stepped forward and planted himself at Tiff's side. The table in Bear's grasp rocked against the hardwood floor. Madison worried about her job, took pride in following the rules. She'd never quit before her contract ended.
"Nothing pertaining to work." Tiff paused. "She came to the conclusion she wanted to quit on her own."
"You didn't try and talk her out of it?" Bear's heart raced. "That doesn't sound like Madison. Something must've happened. She...she probably wouldn't tell you."
Tiff belonged to Moroad. She'd do whatever she needed to protect the club, and Bear had a right to know what happened upstairs in Red Light. Madison was his responsibility.
"No." Tiff shifted on her chair and pulled out a handful of small sheets of paper. "Madison was determined. She packed and left about five hours ago."
He leaned into the table unable to catch his breath. Madison could've got a ride to Spokane and hopped a plane to anywhere in that amount of time, and he was stuck in Federal.
"Where did she go?" he said, his voice catching.
Tiff shook her head. "I don't know."
"How the hell am I supposed to find her?" Bear cradled his forehead in his hand. "I don't get why she'd leave without talking to me, without seeing me.
"Are you going after her?" asked Jeremy, joining the conversation.
"Yeah, man." Bear's back straightened. "She's mine. I need to find her."
Tiff slid the pile of papers across the table. "She left a paper trail. I know what you do next is out of my hands, but be smart, Bear. I have never met someone who is trying so hard that she's purposely setting out to break herself so that she can go after what she wants."
Bear shook his head. "I don't understand. What does she want? If she needs something, I'll get it for her."
/> Tiff stood, rounded the table, and kissed Bear's cheek. "Read the papers, honey."
Bear watched Tiff and Jeremy leave the room. Alone, he sucked in air, trying to make sense of what happened. He'd arrived right as Silver Girls opened, strolled down the alley, expecting Madison to be waving at him.
He'd stood on her balcony for fifteen minutes waiting without any sign of Madison. He'd whistled through two songs before he texted her. He'd called her. He'd searched for answers inside Silver Girls. He'd even gone upstairs and tried the door, hoping someone would let him in.
Now, Madison left without seeing him first. Without giving him an explanation. Alone and hurting, she'd put herself in danger to escape him.
He pulled the small stack of papers toward him and ran his thumb over the ink on the top one. Almost three months of knowing Madison and he'd never seen her penmanship. She always used her phone when talking with him and yet, he knew it was her writing. As he read the first message, a cold sweat broke out on his skin.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."
He placed the paper to the side and read the next one.
"The customer took so long. I should've done more. You shouldn't have seen that."
"Fuck," he whispered, crumbling the paper in his hand and reading the paper underneath.
"You should never have seen the man fucking me."
He removed the paper from the unread stack. His hand shook, and he squinted to read the next one through blurry rage-filled vision.
"You're Bear's friend. I shouldn't be doing—"
"Doing what?" He leafed the corner of the paper and removed it from the pile, needing to know what the fuck was going on.
"I need to quit. I'll contact the Network and let them know I'm no longer working under contract or in the system. I'll hand over all my tips I've made, and hopefully, that covers you being shorted for my remaining time here. I'll pack my bags and be gone tonight."
Frustrated, he needed more answers than she quit her job. What drove her to walk away from Red Light? What happened with the customer? Where had she gone?
"I'm running toward him. I need the next two weeks to prove to myself that I can be the woman I want to be. The woman that Bear deserves. If I'm meant to be with Bear, two weeks apart will only help both of us."
Warmth flooded his clammy skin. He reread the message.
I'm running toward him. I need the next two weeks to prove to myself that I can be the woman I want to be. The woman that Bear deserves. If I'm meant to be with Bear, two weeks apart will only help both of us.
Adrenaline pushed him to the last note.
I've been on my own for a long time. I need to relearn how to survive and deal with whatever normal women handle every day of their life.
She'd left to prove she was lovable. She'd left to prove herself to him. She'd left to deal with everything herself and spare him the trouble.
He stacked the papers, folded them in half, and shoved the pile in his vest pocket. She expected to be apart from him for two weeks before they could be together. He stood, strode through the room, and pushed through the back door.
If she planned to see him again, Madison had to still be in Federal.
There was no way she'd fly out of the area and return in two weeks without having a job lined up. He walked to his Harley. There were two places to stay in Federal. The Federal Inn and a small bed and breakfast place on the edge of town. She'd pick the Federal Inn because more people would be around for her to hide in a crowd and she believed nobody would pay her any attention.
Bear tied back his hair and put his gloves on his hands. He'd go and pick her up. She could stay at the motel with him. Now was not the time for her to distance herself. She had nothing to prove.
"Hey," said Jeremy, walking out to the sidewalk. "You're not skipping town, are you?"
Bear grunted. "She's here."
"You found her?"
"Nope." Bear looked his president in the eye. "Not yet, but I will."
"You need anything let the club know." Jeremy gazed down the street. "One phone call and you'd have a team of riders behind you."
Bear toed his kickstand and straightened the bike. "Will do."
He started the engine, shifted, and rode off in the direction of the Federal Inn. He'd get her room number tonight and tomorrow morning he'd pick her up. She'd learn fast enough he wasn't going to let her deal with her shit by herself.
Chapter Twenty Seven
The tourist trolley going to the silver mine moved in front of Bear blocking his sight of the Federal Inn. A flash of sunlight reflected off the glass windows hit him in the eyes. If not for his sunglasses, he'd lose track of Madison walking across the parking lot.
Madison gazed all around her, blind to him standing fifty yards away under the viaduct, and headed east up the block. He looked at his Harley and then his boots. If he followed her on his motorcycle, she'd hear him. He wanted to find out where she planned to go before he confronted her, and he wasn't big on talking to her with the crowd of bicyclists in the parking lot getting ready to follow one of the many trails around Federal. What he had to say was his and Madison's business, not every stranger who happened to overhear him.
Leaving her the space of a block, he followed her on foot and left his Harley behind. Each step she took confused him more. She gazed up at buildings, ran her hand along brick walls, and her gaze followed people who strolled past her. Her destination appeared not important. It was as if she wandered the town only to walk.
At the corner of Cedar Street and Second Street, he stopped underneath an awning outside the antique emporium. Ready to run and catch her if Madison headed across the street to Silver Girls, he took off his sunglasses and squinted, trying to read her face.
Madison peered up at the second story of the Sterling Building to the flashing neon sign. He moved along the emporium wall, getting closer. Worried she'd try and go back to working upstairs, he prepared to change her mind.
Instead, she walked farther down the street. He stayed at the corner in case she looked behind her, but she picked up her pace and opened the door at the end of the block. He went back around the corner out of sight and pressed his back against the building. What was she doing going to Doctor Brandof's office?
Was she sick?
Had she gotten hurt?
He pulled out his phone and called Jeremy.
"Hey," answered Jeremy.
"Prez, is Tiff around?" He put his sunglasses back on.
"She's standing beside me."
Bear rubbed his whiskered chin. "Ask her what Madison would be doing at the doctors? Was she hurt before she quit?"
"Hang on."
A couple with a child strolled along the sidewalk, moving out of Bear's way, and the man guided the woman to the edge of the sidewalk as he grabbed his young son's hand to keep him from walking too close. Bear watched them go to the end of the block and turn in the same direction Madison went. More than likely, their destination was the vacant lot turned into a city park at the end of the block.
"Bear?" Jeremy came back over the phone. "Tiff is assuming Madison went to the doctors for a checkup and testing, considering she no longer works here, she'd want to make sure her health is documented."
Bear exhaled. "Makes sense."
"Is that all?"
"Yeah, thanks." Bear disconnected the call.
Knowing Madison would be tied up for at least an hour, Bear walked back to his motorcycle. The back of his calves tight from lack of walking in his life, he took his time and tried to view the town through Madison's eyes. Always traveling and hidden away in a bordello, when was the last time Madison had the freedom to stroll through the sidewalks with the citizens?
He stopped outside Rail Point Bar caught in thought. Could Madison have left Red Light to strike out on her own? Maybe she needed to find out if she could handle herself around customers who only knew her naked and under the secrecy of Red Light.
But, why would she do such a t
hing? He ran his hand through his hair, pushing the strands off his face. Fuck.
That's exactly something Madison would do. She'd risk herself to prove she was capable of surviving on her own before she ever came to him and asked for help. Independent and strong, she'd never want to appear weak or at a disadvantage because of her muteness.
"Bear?"
He turned around, found his MC brother Merk, and lifted his chin. "Hey."
Merk set up the billboard on the corner and approached him. "Where's your bike?"
"Back at the gas station."
"Hang on, and I'll grab a bag of tools and meet you over there." Merk glanced back at the bar. "Let me tell Desi where I'm going. I told her I'd be here to meet the delivery in fifteen minutes."
"Nah, I'm good. The Harley is running." Bear chuckled lightly, reeling from finally figuring out a small part of Madison's plan. "I followed Madison on foot, and I'm heading back to my motorcycle now."
"Madison? Red Light? What's she doing in town?" Merk hooked his hands under his armpits.
Bear stepped over and leaned against the building. "She quit."
"Yeah?"
Bear nodded, chewing on his thoughts. "Tell me, man. When Desi gets excited or pissed, does she let you know how she's feeling?"
"Where's this coming from?" Merk raised his brows. "You got a thing for Madison?"
"Something like that." Bear rubbed the back of his neck. "Madison's mute and your Desiree talks. I'm guessing emotions get the best of your woman, and there's no shutting her up once she starts letting you in her head. You come in late, missing dinner with her, and she's going to let you have it when you walk through the door, right?"
Merk frowned. "Yeah."
"Madison can't do that. She can't talk, so she has to write out her thoughts, questions, and random shit. It takes time. It allows her to second-guess herself. Because she's mute, she's lost the ability to impulsively tell me to fuck off or fuck her." Bear stepped backward, energized at the direction Madison took. "I need to get out of here."