Eternal Mourning

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  He just prayed his own Alpha—and Aimee—would forgive him.

  His mate opened her mouth, a soundless scream escaping. He lowered his head, careful to stay out of Audrey’s way, and pressed his lips to her forehead, trying with all his might to soothe her pain by using their bonds. It wasn’t easy during a forced change, and a rare occurrence since most wolves mated other wolves, but he’d be damned if he sat by and let her fall away from him in pain. Pain meds didn’t work on shifters at the best of times, and adding them during a change interrupted the magic and usually ended up with the person in either far more painful shifts or dead. And it wasn’t as though he had any pain meds to give her anyway. He might also be a doctor and had finished medical school twice over, but he didn’t carry around a first-aid kit while walking around the Talon territory.

  While he held Aimee close to him, Audrey pulled away and began stripping off her clothes. To ensure that enough of the enzyme that leaked from the fangs of a shifter as they bit entered the bloodstream and tissues, whoever was doing the changing needed to be in their animal form. He looked away from Audrey and let her shift with as much privacy as he could allow, but he could still hear the sounds of bones breaking and muscles tearing as she turned into her lioness form. She shifted far faster than most of the wolves he knew, and he had a feeling part of that was because she’d begun shifting while biting into Aimee the first time.

  The golden lioness bit again, this time, her fangs sliding in deeper. Aimee was already near death, and with each bite, she slid further and further away from him.

  “Jesus,” Gideon said as he fell to his knees beside Walker. He put his hand on Walker’s shoulder and fought to catch his breath. His brother must have run from wherever he’d been with Brie some distance away from the den in order to attempt to help.

  As Alpha, Gideon wouldn’t have needed a phone call to know what was going on, he’d have felt Aimee’s distress through the Pack bonds and would have dropped everything to come to her aid.

  That was the kind of Alpha Gideon was, and Walker hoped to the goddess that he forgave him for what was happening now.

  “I can sense her through the bonds,” Gideon said softly. “She’s strong. She’s fighting. And though Audrey is the one changing her, she’ll still end up a Talon. She’s ours, Walker. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, but we’ll make it work.”

  Audrey let out a huff that sounded like she wanted to growl but couldn’t at the moment, and Walker figured the cat agreed with Gideon. Audrey sat back after a moment, her muzzle red with Aimee’s blood, and her eyes cat-gold. Walker stood abruptly, cradling an unconscious Aimee to his chest.

  “I need to get her back to the clinic.” Walker’s arms were steady, but inside, he was shaking like a damn leaf.

  “You need to go,” Gideon growled low at Audrey. “We’ll try to keep what she is as secret as possible, but Blade will eventually find out what you did.” He paused. “Do you need sanctuary?”

  She shook her head, though Walker knew from experience that the action wasn’t easy in animal form. She gave Walker a slight nod, stared at Aimee for a few moments, then ran off in the opposite direction at full speed. Whatever she’d been coming to speak to Gideon about would now have to wait because she’d risked so much to save Aimee. Walker would never forget that, nor would he stand back if Audrey were hurt because of what she’d done to try and save his mate.

  “Come on,” Gideon growled. “The others are on their way, and she needs to be in a safe place when she wakes up. You can tell me exactly what happened along the way.”

  Walker held Aimee closer, then started running full-tilt toward the den. Gideon would have been faster if he’d held Aimee, but with Walker’s wolf so close to the surface, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to allow that. They slid through the wards, and Aimee didn’t react—not because the curse was gone, but because she was in the throes of whatever needed to happen in order for her to change. As much as he studied the science of it, he knew it was the magic of the moon goddess that carried most through the initial transformations.

  They made it to the clinic, and Walker was aware that others in the Pack were staring at the tableau the three of them created. Their Alpha, sweaty and growling, his wolf clearly in his stride. Walker, covered in blood and far more aggressive than he usually was. And Aimee, lying prone in Walker’s arms, also covered in blood and wounds.

  The others would ask questions, and some would get the full story. Not everyone could be allowed to know who’d changed Aimee. It wasn’t safe for Audrey, and though it killed him that he couldn’t trust every single member of his Pack, they had been betrayed one too many times. It was also safer for them if they didn’t know every secret that could get them hurt. The Pack wasn’t a democracy, and that was something the newer wolves and Pack members had a harder time figuring out.

  “What do you need?” Gideon asked.

  “Leah. Bring Leah.” He knew his wolf was in his voice, and he was barely able to get the words out, but his brother understood.

  Walker stripped Aimee out of her torn and bloody clothing, his hands shaking. He covered her with a blanket as he washed her wounds, the fact that they were already starting to heal settling him only for a brief moment. They still weren’t out of the woods.

  If he hadn’t seen Audrey doing her best to start the shift, he’d have thought his mate dead. It was only seeing that and feeling the mating bond that kept him from going wolf and attacking anything that came near. For a wolf who claimed he wasn’t as dominant as others, he was acting like Kameron or Mitchell just then, rather than the laid-back one he usually was.

  He supposed mating did that to a person.

  Almost losing a mate only made it worse.

  He cupped her face, leaning down so he was only a breath away from her. “I’m so damn sorry. So fucking sorry.”

  The others of his family came into the room then, their quiet footsteps almost in mourning as they gathered around him. Leah stood the closest to him, her mate Ryder behind her.

  “What can I do?” she asked, her voice soft.

  “Help watch her wounds to be sure they’re healing,” he said roughly. He didn’t know if it was because of his wolf or the fact that tears were clogging his throat.

  Brie came to his other side and put her hand on his back. Immediately, he relaxed. She wasn’t an Omega, but she was a submissive wolf who could calm his wolf with her mere presence. Brandon would be able to do that, as well, but Walker wasn’t sure if his wolf would allow that just then. His other half couldn’t help but want to protect Brie, so it calmed him enough for Walker to be able to think through the clouds of fear and pain circling in his mind.

  “She’ll be a lion then?” Kameron asked, his voice soft. “What are we going to do with that information?”

  “What do you mean?” Brynn asked. She and her mate Finn had apparently been in the den when the call went out and had now joined his entire family, mates and all, in the small room. They weren’t going to let him be alone. They weren’t going to allow Aimee to be alone.

  “He means, will we let the Pack know she’s a cat,” Walker growled out. “She won’t smell like a wolf, but we all know that even though Audrey doesn’t smell like us, she still smells like a shifter.”

  Kameron rubbed a hand over his face. Walker only saw this because his brother had moved to the opposite end of the bed where he frowned down at Aimee’s form. Walker wasn’t sure he liked so many watching his mate while she was in such a weak state, but he knew they were there for support, not judgment.

  “We won’t be able to hide her from the Pack,” Gideon said after a moment. “And it would be a disservice to Aimee to do so, I would think. But we will have to think about how we explain the why of it. Audrey risked a lot for us. Hell, she might have risked everything. Once Blade finds out that we have a new lion in our Pack, he’ll discover who made her. We don’t know how many cats or even other shifter types they have in the Aspens, but only one that
we know of is able to make another shifter. Only one lion dominant enough to make it happen. We’re already on the brink of something far greater than us, yet I think we’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Blade’s secrets.”

  They were all quiet as they digested the information. Once again, their Pack and their people would be changed. Somehow, they would have to come together to determine the next steps.

  “I need to call Dhani and Cheyenne,” Dawn said softly into the silence from the other side of the room. “The four of us promised we’d never keep secrets from each other again. I know they aren’t Pack, but…”

  Gideon let out a sigh. “The four of you are a special circumstance, and we all know it. There’s a reason you were a group before this, and a reason two of the four of you are now mated into the Pack. Bring them in. We’ll tell them. They need to know about her now anyway.” He sighed. “What we tell them about Audrey, however, is another matter.”

  “I won’t tell them who changed Aimee,” Dawn said quickly. “There are some things that are Pack need-to-know only, but one of us turning into a shifter isn’t something I think we can feasibly hide.”

  Walker listened with half an ear as the others discussed the logistics and potential pitfalls of what would happen when—not if, but when—Aimee woke up and found herself a lion. Walker only knew about big cats in the wild from watching nature shows. He didn’t know anything about how they hunted or how he would need to Heal them in animal form. He didn’t know what the differences between a shifter and a wild lion were. But he would learn. He’d find anything he could. Even though the elders had never heard of cat shifters until recently, he would learn.

  For Aimee, he would learn.

  He closed his eyes and wrapped himself around their bond, needing to know that she would be his in truth, that she would survive this.

  And that’s when it happened.

  The bond settled between them, even through her fading pain. And he could sense the curse.

  The fucking curse that had killed her.

  “Holy shit,” he whispered.

  “I feel it, too,” Leah said softly from his side. “I can ease the ache with my magic, using the water within her body to cool any heat that will come from breaking the curse. And if someone gets me two basins of water on either side of me, I can work with that, as well.” She was a water witch, and her healing came from her element as well as the magic within her body.

  “It’s from a witch, though,” he said. “I can taste it.”

  “If we don’t take care of it now, I don’t know if we will see it again,” Leah added. “Because she’s in the middle of a change like this, it’s making the curse more…raw for lack of a better word.”

  “If we don’t break it now, even when she’s unconscious and still in pain, I don’t know if we will get the chance to do it again. Ever.”

  Walker met Leah’s gaze and knew the grief in her eyes matched his own. If they didn’t break the curse, it wouldn’t matter if Aimee was a cat or not, she’d still fade.

  And he refused to let that happen.

  The others muttered around them as they discussed what that meant and the why of it, but Walker couldn’t focus on that right then. He had to keep his mind on the curse wrapped around his mate like a tightening barbed web.

  “I can’t tell what kind of witch did this, but the magic isn’t water. Air, maybe? I know it’s not fire, though, it doesn’t burn.”

  If it wasn’t a fire witch, it couldn’t be the red witch that Blade employed. What that meant in the grand scheme of things, he didn’t know, but he would focus on it later.

  After he broke the curse.

  “I might need your strength,” he whispered, knowing Gideon would hear him.

  “You have it.”

  “You have all of our strength,” Parker said. “You both saved me, I won’t let another witch hurt us.”

  “Watch your tone about witches,” Ryder warned.

  “He didn’t mean it that way,” Brandon interjected.

  “Shut up,” Max growled. “She needs us.”

  His cousin’s surprising words broke through the tension, and Walker breathed in the power that was his family, his Pack, and Healed. His magic wrapped around each strand of the curse, encircling the tiny threads and spiraling around them. Sweat poured down his face and back as he worked. What he was doing was at the far edges of his abilities, but with Leah gently soothing the fractured connections as he worked, he was able to slowly maneuver around each of the threads that encased Aimee before he let out a deep breath.

  “Ready?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

  “Yes.” Leah’s answer sounded far away, but he knew she leaned against her mate, using his strength to prop herself up so she could lend her energy to Aimee.

  He didn’t know if it would work, but he had to try. Had to hope, and to pray.

  The room heated to the point of near pain, and then it was as if something in a vacuum popped.

  He fell back, and if it weren’t for Kameron and Gideon propping him up, he’d have landed on the floor. He had no more energy left and couldn’t even open his eyes to see his mate, but he could feel her.

  The others would know what to do next, but for now, he would lean on his family and know that his mate was safe.

  She was his. She was Pack. She was a shifter.

  And she was Healed.

  Chapter Twelve

  Falling.

  She was falling.

  That was the one thing Aimee knew for sure. Though even as she thought it, she knew she was mistaken. Falling wasn’t quite right. Because if she were, she wouldn’t feel as if she had already landed.

  How could she be plummeting and ripped from landing at the same time?

  And why was she so focused on the terms when there was a new presence warming her. Not the cord that wrapped its way around her soul, warm and aching as it reached for her, protective and circling as it prowled. That one felt as if it had always been there, merely waiting under veiled secrecy for her to find.

  This new entity wasn’t a bond like the other.

  No, this was something new, something…small and frightened even as it hovered and protected.

  Perhaps this was how she would exist in her afterlife. She would spend her time wondering what things were and how to describe them.

  For Aimee had died, she remembered it. Remembered falling against Walker and crying out in pain as the end rushed in. She didn’t remember living, but she remembered dying.

  The new warmth she didn’t quite understand cuddled closer, nudging her as it curled into a ball near her and purred.

  Purred.

  As if it were a kitten.

  The kitten, or whatever this warmth was, nudged her again, this time nipping gently at her fingers. The nipping increased to a dull pinprick, and before she could wonder what was going on…she woke up.

  The light above her blinded her, but she didn’t keep her eyes shut. Instead, she blinked a few times and wondered where she was. One moment, she was screaming; the next, she was in the abyss. Now, what was happening?

  Warmth over her skin below her elbow.

  Breath on her cheek as she blinked her eyes open once again.

  “Aimee.”

  Walker.

  Her mate.

  Hers.

  His face filled her vision, and he cupped her cheek. There were tears in his eyes, and his beard had grown in as if he hadn’t trimmed it in days. How long had she been…asleep? Was that the word she should use?

  “Aimee.” This time, his voice broke, and she lifted her hand up to cup the back of his head, petting him through his hair. It wasn’t until the soft strands slid through her fingers that she realized that she’d been able to do that with no pain at all. It hadn’t taken any strength to lift her arm, while it probably should have taken a lot considering it looked as if she’d been immobile for quite a while.

  “What happened?” she asked. She licked her lips, her
throat a bit dry, and Walker moved away from her and out of her line of sight. She made a small noise that didn’t sound like anything she’d ever uttered before. It was more like the mew a kitten would make.

  A kitten.

  Why was that fact so important, and why had she thought of kittens twice?

  Walker fiddled with something below the bed she was on, and it moved so she could sit up. She must be in Walker’s clinic, and this was one of his hospital beds. “Here, take a few sips of water. Your throat has to be dry.” He held out a small cup with a straw, and she sucked cold water between her lips, a sigh escaping as she drank as quickly as Walker allowed her to.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “What happened?” she asked again. She knew there were other things to ask, other senses she should be using so she could fully look at the world around her, but right then, her world narrowed to Walker and what he would say next.

  She told herself to start small, then look left. Look right. Look behind. Perhaps then, look forward.

  Since she was now positioned so she could meet his gaze, Walker sat next to her on the bed and cupped her cheek once more. The action tangled the tips of his fingers in her hair, and she leaned into his touch, breathing him in. Their mating bond pulsated, and she reveled in that connection.

  The fact that she could feel this strongly about someone so quickly just told her that their circumstances and who they were alone and as a couple were what made what they had work. She was falling for him, and from his touch alone, she knew it was right. She didn’t know what had led her to be in this room and to feel so…different, but she knew the reason she was able to hold Walker close at all because he was hers.

  “You had a seizure when the curse fluxed again while we were out for a walk beyond the wards. Audrey was with us. Remember?”

  She nodded, the details slowly falling into place. She remembered everything up to her fall, but she had a feeling her mind was protecting her from everything that came after.