by Deena Bright
I pressed send and waited. Meanwhile, he didn’t let up. “Janelle honey, please, we’ve been together for so long. Don’t we owe it to ourselves, to each other, to at least talk?”
Honey? Did he just call me “honey?” What the fuck was going on? Thankfully my phone dinged, alerting me to Char’s response. I slid the bar over and read:
CHAR: If you fucking open that door, the next time I see you, you’ll be in a body bag. I swear to God Janelle, do not open that door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I signed the papers today, honey. You can have 50% of the sale on the house. Actually, you can have the house… all of it… if you want. I just want to talk to you,” he said, his voice catching as he spoke.
Holy shit. Was he crying? I’d never seen Marcus cry. I kind of wanted to see him cry. Horrible, I know, but true, so true. Seeing Marcus crying, hurt in agony, would actually give me joy. And God damn it, I could use a little joy.
Unlocking the door, I said, “Alright Marcus, what could possibly be going on for you to act like this?” I asked, still blocking him from coming in.
“Can I come in?” he begged.
“No.”
“Please Janelle,” he asked again.
“No. You’re not coming in here,” I reconfirmed.
There was no way in the fucking world Marcus Flowers was coming into my house. I was actually surprised that I hadn’t shot him in the face already. Granted, I didn’t own a gun, but with as angry as I was at him, I probably could have conjured a manifestation of some gun to shoot his face or dick off right now.
“Okay, can you come out here, then?” he asked, reaching for my hand. I hit his hand away from me so hard that it banged against the doorframe with a loud whack. “Jesus. Fuck Janelle,” he said shaking his hand out.
“Don’t you dare touch me! Don’t even think about touching me, Marcus,” I threatened, pointing at him. “I’ll come out, but I swear to God, if you as much as even brush against me accidentally I’ll slap a restraining order on you so fast, you won’t even be able—”
“Okay. Okay. No touching. I promise,” he said, raising his hands in defeat.
“Because your promises mean so much to me,” I shot back at him, snidely and sarcastically.
“Touché,” he said, stepping aside, so I could walk past him. “Want to go out back, by the pool?”
“No, too tempting to drown your ass,” I said, sitting down on the porch stoop.
“Gotcha,” he said, sitting down a little too close to me. I scooted about a foot away.
“What Marcus? What do you want? Why are you here?” I asked, cutting to the chase.
“To apologize,” he admitted.
“For?” I asked, not knowing what apology he was offering up. God knows he owed me about a thousand.
“Lauren… Vince… your job… everything… Kayla. All of it. Janelle. I’m so so sorry,” he said, reaching for my hand. Kayla? Who the fuck was Kayla? Jesus Christ, I fucking hated him. And Kayla. And Lauren. Who the fuck is Kayla?
“Don’t touch me, Marcus. So help me—”
“I’m sorry. I forgot. Won’t happen again,” he said. “I should’ve been a better husband, a better man. You deserve so much more.” I stared at him. I really had nothing to say to him. “Can you please forgive me?”
“No Marcus, I can’t. I will never forgive you. The way you treated me, what you did to me, people shouldn’t do that to their greatest enemy. You chose to do that to your wife… your wife, Marcus. I can’t forgive that,” I replied.
“Is there a way we can work through this, find a way to work it out?” he asked. “Start over?”
“I’m sorry… what?” Marcus Flowers had to be smoking crack. Was he seriously on my porch asking for a second chance?
“Us. Our marriage. Is there anyway you’d ever—”
“Have you lost your fucking mind? Is this a joke? No Marcus. No. A hundred times over… no.” I said, staring at him in astonishment. I leaned in closer to him and sniffed him, double-checking for whiffs of alcohol, water bong, or crack pipe. Anything!
“Janelle, don’t you want to get back what we had, what we worked so hard for?”
“Ummm… get back what we had? What we had was a fucked up marriage, a loveless marriage. What I had was a cheating bastard of a husband. So yeah, no thanks,” I said, standing up. I started walking back into the house when I stopped abruptly. It had finally hit me, “Marcus, where’s Lauren right now?”
“Fuck if I know. That tramp can go fuck herself,” he said too quickly.
“What happened? Are you two not together anymore?” I asked, turning around slowly. I’m sorry; I had to ask. I needed to know. This shit was too good. I needed to talk to Char about it all later. I needed every last detail.
“Fuck no!” he said.
“Why?” I asked, needing the dirt—dying for it actually. I could feel the happiness and excitement warm through my veins as my spirits lifted.
“I told her that I didn’t want kids, told her that kids were a waste of time, money, and energy. They sucked the life right out of you—look at your sister and Rick. No thank you,” he said.
He stood up and started pacing, continuing his rant. “I thought we were on the same page. Going places… together… you know?”
Oh my God, Marcus was in pain, hurting because things went south with Lauren. He wasn’t here to get me back, because he missed me. He didn’t know how to function alone. Marcus was coming back to me, because Lauren didn’t want him anymore. He put the “ewww” in douche.
“So, she got pissed, because she realized that she wanted kids and you couldn’t give them to her,” I said, understanding.
“No! That fucking cunt got pregnant,” he screamed.
“Pregnant? But I thought you—”
“Vasectomy? I did. She’s pregnant. It’s not mine!” he clarified, shaking his head.
“Oh. My. God. That is… that is… the greatest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” I howled, laughing hysterically. This was too good to be true. Holy shit. Oh Karma, you sexy little thing; I owed you big time. “Goodbye Marcus,” I said, going back into the house, leaving him sulking alone on my porch. And to think, I was in a funk. Best. Day. Ever.
MY LIFE WAS right on track, right where I needed it to be. I’d been holding out on Janelle, waiting to cross all the Ts and dot all the Is. But now, everything was in order, and I couldn’t wait to share it all with her. I couldn’t be happier. I never thought that I’d ever get my shit together, let alone, get it this much together. I called her earlier to tell her to meet me at our city’s finest restaurant at 7:00 p.m. It was a night for steak and wine, perfect for a big steak and a couple bottles of wine.
When I walked into the restaurant, she was waiting for me in the foyer, looking over the menu. Every time I looked at her, she took my breath away. Janelle Garrity was my final wish—if I could just make this last one come true.
“Briggs!” she shrieked, running toward me. “I missed you. You look incredible.” When I was in Connecticut, I got a few new designer suits. I actually splurged and bought a Gucci suit and a Kiton. I’d always thought that Giorgio Armani was the most upscale men’s suit. I was wrong. What the fuck did I know?
“Holy shit Briggs. Is that a Gucci?” she asked, stroking the lapel of my jacket.
“Yep,” I said, grinning with pride.
“So, do you think I’m a little cheaply dressed in my New York and Company sundress?” she asked, twirling around.
“I guess I’ll just go slumming for the night,” I teased.
“Oh good, because I’ve got some dirty dirty work for you this evening, sir,” she said, winking at me before she followed the Maitre d’ to our table.
Once we ordered and got our wine, I said, “I have exciting news.”
“You’d better, because I’ve certainly been waiting long enough to hear it,” she said, leaning in closer to me.
“So, ESPN wants to start filming at the end of Oc
tober. I didn’t think I’d be able to start filming then, because I don’t graduate until December,” I explained, studying her face for a reaction.
“Well that makes sense,” she said.
“I went to Ohio State and met with the president of the university—”
“Gordon Gee,” she added.
“No, it’s some new guy. Gordon Gee’s gone. Anyway, this dude signed off on letting me take my last 15 credits at the University of Hartford, but I still get to officially get my degree from Ohio State. That’s what I wanted all along,” I said, feeling my heart start to beat faster. I was so fucking excited. There was only one last piece to make this all fit together and work out how I wanted it to. “I met with Walter Harrison… the president from Hartford, and he was all for it.”
“I’m sorry… huh?” she was staring at me as if I’d just told her that monkeys were flying out my ass.
“I get to take classes at Hartford, but still get my degree from OSU. I start filming in October. The show’s probably going to go live next spring,” I exclaimed excitedly.
“Ummm Briggs? Are you leaving too?” Janelle asked, with fear in her eyes.
“Yeah, Hartford. Next month. Aren’t you paying attention? I bought a condo,” I explained. “Oh yeah… and guess what else… Tate met with Urban Meyer… you know the coach at Ohio State… and now that’s all Tate talks about. ‘Coach Meyer said this. Coach Meyer said that.’ This just might be the thing the kid needs to stay on track,” I said, playing with my fork. “Then, when I said I needed to go to Connecticut, he just couldn’t wait to go with me. Now, he’s all about spending time with me, hanging out like we used to.”
When I finally stopped talking and took a drink, Janelle was staring off somewhere, not at all engaged in our conversation. When I asked her about it, all she said was, “That’s great, Briggs. I’m happy for you.”
“Janelle, what is it? What’s wrong?” I wondered. I hadn’t foreseen this reaction at all.
“Nothing. I just guess… I didn’t realize… I just didn’t know that this whole time you were gallivanting around the country that you’d be leaving… leaving me next month,” she said, looking away.
“But that’s just it. I hired a realtor. I’ve been taking pictures of your pool house and all that when you weren’t around or were sleeping, because I wanted to show her what you liked, what your style was,” I explained, getting nervous as fuck.
“I don’t get it,” she said, puzzled.
“I found a condo. For me. For us. Janelle, come with me. Move to Connecticut with me. You can get a teaching job there… or not… I don’t care,” I said. “You don’t have to work if you don’t want. You can just live with me. Be with me,” I blurted. I’d planned to say so much more, but I was just too excited, too fucking nervous. “Say yes.”
“Briggs, I—”
“No. No… ‘Briggs’… just say ‘yes’ right now,” I pleaded.
“Hold on, that’s… I mean… it’s—”
“Perfect… it’s perfect. Just say you will, Janelle,” I said, taking her hand in mine. “Come with me.”
“Hold on,” she said. “It’s a lot to think about. A big step. I have to think about my job, about my family, Char, Leo—”
“Ahhh… Leo… I thought he was gone, done, out of the picture?” I said too quickly, abruptly.
“Briggs, you know he is. But… but… I want to talk to him. Make sure he’s okay… with Megan. It is his sister. Can you just give me a few days to let this sink in?” she said, stroking the back of my hand.
“Yeah, yes, of course. I’m sorry. It’s all good. I did kind of just spring it on you,” I admitted.
“Thank you,” she said, entwining her fingers in mine. “I’m so proud of you, Briggs, and so happy for you.”
DRIVING HOME, JANELLE told me all about Marcus. I just wanted to run into him one night in a dark alley—just once. What Leo and I did to him at his house wasn’t nearly all he deserved. That fucker had some shit coming to him, and I prayed that I’d be the one to deliver it.
“I fucking can’t believe she got knocked up,” I said, laughing. “Fucker deserves it.”
“I know, right,” she said. I loved that she finally got her revenge-even if it wasn’t all that epic. Knowing Janelle and her bleeding heart, she probably thought he’d gotten enough. I loved that about her.
“Part of me agrees with Marcus though. Ain’t no time for kids,” I admitted. “And to think, Cling’s going to give you up to go play daddy to his sister’s kids. No way.”
Janelle turned toward me slowly and said, “Uhhh… what? Excuse me?”
“I mean, it’s noble and all, but raising your own kids in this world is hard enough, especially with how fucked up our world is. Look at Tate. He’s even got good parents. The best parents, and he’s still all kinds of fucked up. Now, Cling’s going to raise someone else’s kids. No thanks.”
“Umm Briggs, are you telling me that you don’t want kids?” she asked, staring at me in horror.
“Not really. Not that big of a fan, really. I guess I like other people’s kids, but I don’t want my own,” I said, honestly. Realizing that these were not words that Janelle wanted to be hearing, I added, “Don’t you think the world’s a horrible place? Would you really want to bring kids into it?”
Taking a deep breath, she said, “Yes, I do think that people make terrible choices and hurt others. But that does not stop me from wanting a child, my own child. Briggs, I think a terrible decision would be to not have kids.”
“You do?” I’d never heard her talk so passionately about anything before.
“Of course. I can’t wait to have kids,” she said, sadly, looking away from me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She shook her head, and continued to look out the window.
“Janelle, tell me. What’s wrong?” I hated that I’d upset her.
“In one breath you invited me to Connecticut and then told me that you didn’t want kids,” she explained. “I need to process that. That’s a little tough to handle—”
“Hey… hey… hold up, if you’re upset that I don’t want kids, then we can talk about it again some time… in a few years or so. I guess I wouldn’t be opposed to having like one kid or something if it would make you happy,” I said. I killed the engine on the car and turned toward her. “I’d do anything for you. You want me to knock you up, I’ll bun that oven right now, Babe.”
Smiling, she shook her head, and said, “Gee thanks.”
“No, I’m serious. We can talk about this again. I guess I’m surprised you didn’t already know this about me. I thought Char would tell you for sure. She said you’d be pissed when you found out.” I said.
“Char knew that you didn’t want kids?” she asked incredulously.
“Yeah… she said it would be a deal-breaker for you. I thought she was exaggerating since you’d never mentioned it before,” I recalled. “I guess I knew you were pissed about your ex getting snipped. But we never spoke about it. I just figured she was being typical over-dramatic Char.”
“I can’t believe she knew about this and didn’t tell me,” Janelle marveled.
“Me either. But there are quite a few things that Char doesn’t tell you,” I admitted. “But don’t bother asking me what. It’s up to her to tell you. I’m staying the fuck out of some cat fight.”
“Char and I don’t fight,” Janelle stated. Just as she finished her sentence an SUV pulled in the driveway behind us, lighting up the car with its headlights. In the light, I realized that she’d been crying. Fuck. I’d upset her.
“Oh my God, that’s Leo’s car!” she squealed delightedly, making me feel like I’d just been punched in the stomach. Fucking blows. Janelle jumped out of the car, sprinting excitedly over to him.
I got out of my car, ready to finally tell Leo that I’d had enough of him and for him to just get the fuck out of our lives. Our lives. It sounded so real. So right. I walked over to where they w
ere standing, hating that he had his arms around her, was holding her.
“What the fuck, Cling?” I asked, forcing them to let go and face me. Leo was a wreck. He was crying like I’d never seen a man cry before.
Pussy.
“Go in the house Briggs,” Janelle said, glaring at me.
“No, I’ll go,” Leo said, backing toward his car.
Janelle gritted her teeth at me, and said “House.”
“I’m not going back in the house, so you and Cling can start back up again,” I argued, getting pissed at her for even suggesting it. “This is bullshit. I just fucking asked you to move to Connecticut with me. He dropped you. What the fuck is this about? He’s not coming in here and crying his way back into your life, Janelle. Grow up. It’s a ploy.” I said. Granted, it wasn’t my finest moment, but of course, I didn’t realize how much of an ass I really was at the time.
“I wasn’t trying to get her back,” Leo said, opening his car door.
“Right Cling,” I said. “Always using the good guy card. It’s not working this time. You lost dude. Accept it. You threw in the towel. You’re done.”
“You know what, Alexander, that’s it. I’ve had it with you,” he said, coming at me. “You’ve been wanting this for so long, so have at it. Fucking punch me. Lay me flat. That’s what you’ve wanted all along.”
“Don’t even tempt me. It’s not worth it,” I scoffed. “Get your ass in your car and go home.”
“No Briggs, I want you to. Let’s see how tough you really are. Let’s see you beat the fuck out of me. You’re always threatening to do so. So do it,” he goaded.
Janelle came in between us and screamed, “Briggs go in the fucking house or go home. Now!”
That did it, I snapped. I full out snapped. “Are you fucking kidding me? That’s how this is going to go down? You’re going to choose him right here, right now, after he abandoned you? This is bullshit. Fuck this, Janelle. Fuck it all,” I shoved past both of them and got into my car.