Three Way

by Daniel Grant

  ‘Yeah, good idea.’ We make our way back to the kitchen. I find the printout of the recipe Parker sent me and I get to work. Lauren watches me.

  ‘So, what are we having?’ she asks.

  ‘Chicken Cordon Bleu,’ I reply.

  ‘Nice.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I reply, distracted. ‘Sorry, this won’t take too long, just need to make sure I get it right.’

  ‘You carry on.’ She walks out and into the living room. The chicken is sorted, now for the starter. I grab the chorizo sausage and the packet of scallops and get frying. Then I pull out a bottle of Champagne from the fridge and two glasses. Okay yes, it was on special at the supermarket but I can’t afford what she’s used to, which is probably Dom Perignon or Moet. I put the (perfectly respectable) Champagne in an ice bucket and walk into the living room. I find her looking at my photos on the desk. She turns as I walk in.

  ‘Who is this?’ she asks. She’s referring to a picture of me and Svetla. Shit, I should have put those away.

  ‘Uh, that’s Svetla. My ex,’ I reply. She nods slowly.

  ‘She’s pretty.’

  ‘Yeah. But we weren’t right for each other,’ I say, placing the Champagne on the table. ‘Champagne?’

  ‘Lovely,’ she says. I tear off the foil and pop the cork. Except me being me, the Champagne fizzes up and I get half of it on the table.

  ‘Shit!’ I say. I manage to pour some of it in the glass.

  ‘Oops. Shall I get some kitchen roll?’ she asks.

  ‘No, I got it,’ I reply, heading for the kitchen. Real smooth Ollie. I walk back with a roll of kitchen towel and start mopping the table. I fill two glasses and hand her one.

  ‘Cheers,’ I say.

  ‘To us,’ she replies.

  ‘To us,’ I repeat. We take a sip. I’m not normally a Champagne guy mainly due to the exorbitant cost but it’s very nice. Lauren stares at me as we drink, I find it vaguely intimidating.

  ‘You’re looking very dapper, Mr. Hayward.’

  ‘Thanks. You look…wow,’ I reply, with the vague thought I could be a little late in saying that. Better late than never?

  ‘Thanks. Do you like my hair like this?’

  ‘Yeah. It looks quite different but I like that,’ I say. She smiles. The air crackles between us, I force a breath out. ‘Better just check on the starter.’ She nods. I make my exit. I serve up and dust the plates with a little chopped parsley, exactly as Parker told me and walk into the living room, placing the plates down on the table.

  ‘Here we go,’ I say. Lauren walks over and sits down at the table. I pull out my chair and sit down opposite her.

  ‘Mmm, this looks nice,’ she says, sliding a scallop and a slice of chorizo onto her fork. I stare at her chewing and suddenly realise I’m watching her so intently I’ve forgotten to eat anything myself. I quickly remedy that. ‘Very good.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I reply.

  ‘So. Do you still have a thing for your ex?’ Lauren asks, taking another bite. I nearly choke but I control the urge and swallow my scallop.

  ‘No. Why do you ask that?’

  ‘No reason. Just what you said at the barbeque and having pictures still out. There’s one by your bed as well. It’s just a bit weird.’ Shit! I am such an amateur. Why didn’t I just throw those bloody things away? Silly, silly boy.

  ‘We were together for a long time and when we split up, it hurt. A lot. But…’ I want to say I’m over her. I barely think about her any more. Svetla who? The thing is, I don’t like lying. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘What is this?’ she says, her arm gesturing between the two of us.

  ‘We’ve just started seeing each other. You’re gorgeous. I think we get on really well. We live in different worlds but I find that quite interesting. Can I promise that I’m a hundred percent over my ex and everything that happened? Not really. But we hit it off and I just thought, why not give it a shot. If that’s not what you want to hear-’

  ‘No. Don’t misunderstand me, Ollie. I’m not giving you the fifth degree. We have only just started seeing each other. And I appreciate your honesty,’ she says. She looks like she wants to say more but instead opts to take another bite. Then, she puts her knife and fork down and stares at me.

  ‘I like you,’ I say, ‘it would be cool to see where this goes. I’m not ready for marriage just yet. That’s about it.’ The conversation has sent my stomach into turmoil. I’m half expecting her to stand up and leave. She runs her fingers up and down the stem of her Champagne glass.

  ‘I’m older than you and whilst I’m not ready for marriage or anything like that, I’m…’ she frowns and sips her glass. ‘What I mean is-’

  ‘Lauren, I know exactly what you mean. You’re not wasting your time,’ I say. She nods slowly.

  ‘Would it be high maintenance of me to I ask if you could put those photos somewhere else?’ Lauren asks.

  ‘No, not at all,’ I say, embarrassed. ‘Should have done it ages ago.’ I immediately stand up and grab the photo of Svetla. I walk into my bedroom and snatch the photo by the bedside and throw them under the bed. I do a quick check to make sure there’s nothing else liable to cause offence and head back to Lauren.

  ‘Thank you,’ she says, sincerity in her eyes. I feel stupid. Humiliated. Why hadn’t I done it before now? Too late, bloody amateur.

  ‘No worries. I’d better just check on the main course,’ I say, clearing the table and heading back into the kitchen. I dump the plates, still self-flagellating. Stupid, stupid. I breathe out, open the oven and check the chicken. It looks pretty good and smells fantastic. But it still needs another ten minutes…I think. I shove it back in and close the oven door before heading back into the living room for round two. I sit down and notice Lauren has finished her glass of Champagne, so I pull the bottle out of the ice bucket and pour her another. I must have lost just under a glass full in spillage.

  ‘I really like your flat, it’s cosy,’ she says.

  ‘Yeah it’s okay,’ I reply. ‘So what about you and your ex’s?’

  ‘Ah, here we go,’ she replies, smiling, ‘come on then. What do you want to know?’

  ‘You and James?’ I say. She closes her eyes slowly then looks at me.

  ‘James and I used to see each other. Only for a short while. He’s very happy with Sarah but yes, we did go out. Problem?’

  ‘No, I just…don’t get it.’

  ‘What don’t you get?’ she says, leaning forward, showing me more cleavage that I try not to notice.

  ‘I just think he’s a bit of a-’

  ‘Prick?’ she finishes.

  ‘Well, yeah. Look I don’t want to offend you, because you work with him and you’re obviously friends but, seriously.’ She chuckles.

  ‘Don’t hold back Ollie, tell me what you really think.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘No I get it. James is a bit cocky and up-his-own-arse but deep down, he’s actually a really sweet guy.’ I consider what she says.

  ‘Okay,’ I say, ‘main course.’ I stand and walk back to the kitchen to collect and serve the chicken. When I pull it out of the oven, it does look a little well done. Shit. I shovel it onto a plate with some veg but somehow it all looks just a little bit crap. Nothing for it but to serve it and hope I don’t kill the both of us. I carry the plates in.

  ‘Oo,’ says Lauren. I place the plate down in front of her. If she’s disappointed she covers it well. We start eating. Sure enough the chicken is overcooked and has a rubbery texture to it. Damnit.

  ‘Sorry, it’s a little well done,’ I say.

  ‘It’s perfect,’ says Lauren in a reassuring voice. I smile, gratefully. A thought hits me.

  ‘Oh, I did an interview with the Prime Minister the other day.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah, the statement on North Korea. That was me. Except I totally fucked it up.’

  ‘Oh? How come?’

  ‘Urgh, he started talking then he screwed it up and said ‘
shit, can we go again?’ on camera.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘Unfortunately it was a pool statement which means we play it out to the other broadcasters and when we played it out, rather than starting it in the right place we played out the whole thing, including him saying ‘shit.’’’ Lauren’s eyes widen, she’s hooked.

  ‘Oh no.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I say. Her mouth is open, hanging on my every word. ‘Total fuck up and everyone took it live so it went out like that, raw,’ I say.

  ‘Oh God, what happened?’

  ‘I got a massive bollocking from my boss with the whole newsroom watching. Wasn’t good.’

  ‘Shit, Ollie. Is it okay now though?’

  ‘It will be. These things happen sometimes. Just because it was an important statement and these things always get Downing Street pissed off. Don’t blame them but it was a genuine mistake. It’ll be fine. It’s not like I did it on purpose, the clip just started playing from the wrong point.’

  ‘Wow. You have such an interesting job. I know it went wrong then but I wish I could do what you do.’

  ‘I’ll have to bring you in, show you the newsroom.’

  ‘That would be great. What do you want in return?’ she replies. I suddenly feel her foot on my crotch. I look up at her, she winks and carries on chewing (three or four times before swallowing) her chicken.

  ‘I…nothing.’

  ‘Sure?’ she asks, ‘you’re sure there’s nothing I can do for you?’

  ‘Well. Umm,’ I say, pretending to think. Her naughty face is back. She looks so hot, a sudden urge fires up inside me. ‘Yeah, I think there probably is something you could do.’

  She stands up, pulling the hem of her dress down and walks over to me. She bends down and kisses me. My hand moves around her waist and runs down to her bum. Damn that feels good. Her hand moves down to my crotch and starts rubbing. Before I know what’s going on, I feel her pull at my belt and unzip my trousers. Her hand moves over my boxers and yanks them down. She is so damn sexy I can barely comprehend what’s happening. She nestles herself between my legs, I look up to the ceiling. I move a hand over a breast. Large and perfectly formed.

  Suddenly the front door slams.

  ‘Jesus,’ I say. Lauren is off me in a flash, I yank my trousers up quickly. I hear someone walk past the living room with heavy footsteps and down the corridor to Parker’s room.

  ‘Who is it?’ Lauren whispers.

  ‘Must be Parker, fuck’s sake. Sorry,’ I reply. I stand and do up my trousers. My erection is still visible so I try to walk with my bum sticking out a little. I poke my head out into the corridor.

  ‘Parker?’ I call. Parker’s door is open and the light is on. I walk slowly towards it and look in. I’m surprised to see Ashley sitting on Parker’s bed. Her makeup has run down her face and she stares out to nothing.

  ‘Hey. What’s wrong?’ I ask.

  ‘Nothing,’ she replies, her eyes in another world.

  ‘Doesn’t look like nothing.’ She doesn’t respond. I glance back towards the living room and sigh. ‘Listen Ash, I’ve got Lauren over-’

  ‘I’m sorry. I’ll stay in here, you won’t know I exist.’

  ‘Come on, we had an agreement,’ I say, aware of my insensitivity. She nods slowly, a tear rolling down her cheek.

  ‘You’re right. Sorry. I just…,’ she says, standing.

  ‘Hey, come on. What happened?’

  ‘I had a thing with Norman and I quit. So now I have no job, no place to live and no boyfriend. Why am I such a…?’ She whispers something I don’t hear and wipes her eye. ‘Sorry Ollie. Excuse me.’ She tries to get past.

  ‘Hold on, hold on,’ I say, blocking her way. Lauren appears behind me.

  ‘Everything okay?’ Lauren asks. Ashley turns her head, hiding her face with her hair.

  ‘Yeah, sorry. Lauren, this is Ashley. Ashley, Lauren,’ I say. Ashley nods, still shielding her face.

  ‘Hey. You okay?’ Lauren asks.

  ‘Uh, Ashley’s had a bit of a bad night and she’s just going to stay in Parker’s room.’

  ‘You guys need your space. I’ll find somewhere else,’ Ashley says.

  ‘No,’ I reply, ‘are you okay if she stays in here?’ I ask Lauren. A frown appears on Lauren’s face. More confused than angry.

  ‘Uh. Sure,’ Lauren says.

  ‘There you go,’ I say. ‘You going to be okay here?’ I ask. Ashley nods.

  ‘Yep. I’m sorry Ollie. Please, go back to your dinner,’ Ashley says.

  ‘Okay,’ I say. ‘We’ll speak tomorrow.’ I close the door and we head back to the living room. ‘Sorry about that,’ I say to Lauren.

  ‘No problem. Who is she?’

  ‘Ashley. She’s a friend from school who got into trouble recently and didn’t have anywhere to stay so she’s sort of staying here. Temporarily.’

  ‘Oh. I thought you just lived with Parker.’

  ‘Yeah. Like I said, it’s only temporary.’

  ‘Well you can’t just leave her in there. She’s upset.’

  ‘I know, but it’s our date,’ I reply. I know I’m being selfish but a few seconds ago she had her mouth on my-

  ‘Ollie…’ Lauren says, her head tilted.

  ‘Okay’ I reply. Jeez, I don’t know what the right thing to do is. Okay, maybe I do and maybe I just enjoyed…you know what, nevermind, moment’s over now anyway. I walk back to the bedroom and knock on the door.

  ‘Yeah,’ Ashley says. I push the door a little.

  ‘Hey. We’re drinking Champagne, want some?’

  ‘Don’t really feel like celebrating to be honest.’

  ‘Come on, you can’t sit in here-’

  ‘Yes I can. I can sit in here until Parker throws me out.’

  ‘I’ve got brownies,’ I say. Ashley shakes her head slowly. ‘They’re good, chocolate chip.’ She blinks slowly then looks at me.

  ‘I don’t want to interrupt anything.’

  ‘You’re not. Please. I’ve baked enough for the Chinese Army, we can’t possibly eat them all.’ She thinks about it for a moment before she says,

  ‘Okay. Thanks.’

  ‘There you go,’ I say, reaching for her hand and pulling her up. She stares at me then leans her head on my shoulder. I immediately move it off, don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. My hands move round to her cheeks, I hold her head. ‘Hey, it’s going to be fine, okay?’ She nods. ‘Come on.’ I lead her to the living room. Lauren stands as we walk back in.

  ‘How you feeling?’ Lauren asks.

  ‘Pretty shit actually,’ Ashley replies, taking a seat on the couch.

  ‘What happened?’ Lauren asks.

  ‘Oh this guy I’ve been dating. I thought, with someone called Norman I’d be alright. But it turns out even geeks are arseholes,’ Ashley replies. I pour her a glass of Champagne and hand it to her. ‘Thanks,’ she says, taking a sip. She looks at Lauren. ‘You’re so pretty.’ Lauren brushes it off.

  ‘Nah,’ Lauren says.

  ‘Yeah, you really are. Look at your skin, it’s like perfect. Mine’s got little lumps all over it.’

  ‘No it doesn’t,’ I say without thinking. Lauren glances at me. Awkward.

  ‘So you guys met when Ollie came to interview you?’ Ashley asks.

  ‘Yeah. I was really nervous, but Ollie had a way of making me feel comfortable and relaxed.’

  ‘Don’t believe it for a second, he was just trying to get into your knickers,’ Ashley says. I glare at her. She glances at the both of us, unsure if she’s just overstepped the mark. She chuckles nervously. Lauren joins her.

  ‘Oh I get it, great,’ I say.

  ‘So you’ve known each other for a long time then?’ Lauren asks.

  ‘Yeah, I know Ollie better than he knows himself,’ Ashley replies. Hang on, what the hell is happening now? I’m to be the subject of ridicule, is that how this is going to play out? Not sure I like this.

  ‘What’s the most embarrass
ing thing he’s ever done?’ Lauren asks.

  ‘What? Wait a minute-’ I say.

  ‘Most embarrassing thing?’ Ashley says, thinking.

  ‘Ashley, don’t you dare.’

  ‘I was going to say your performance-’

  ‘Ash, I mean it,’ I say.

  ‘-at the school play,’ she says. I breathe out and frown.

  ‘He’s getting cross now, I’d better keep quiet or I’ll be out on the street.’

  ‘Nonsense you can stay with me in Pimlico,’ Lauren says.

  ‘Really?’ Ashley says.

  ‘For dirt on Ollie here, it’s a small price to pay,’ Lauren says, smiling. I know they’re winding me up but I don’t like it.

  ‘Ha ha,’ I say.

  The night progresses in much the same vein. Ashley and Lauren tease me and I feel like I’m fending them off from revealing anything personal about me to each other. Of course, Ashley has all the dirt on me. Any story she tells could prove disastrous for my relationship with Lauren. But she seems to know this and keeps on the right side of appropriate. They get on well and I suddenly find myself with two girls I’ve had sex with getting on with each other. This is weird, right? You know when your work friends meet your school friends, bit like that.

  The evening progresses to shots. Ashley gets upset when the conversation draws back to Norman and other men she’s been with. She’s amazingly honest about it all. Lauren is sensitive with her questions and repays Ashley’s honesty with stories of her own. Turns out she went out with Johnny Dougan, lead singer of the Time Travellers. You know, the Time Travellers? Okay, they haven’t done anything for a bit but come on. Cheater? That’s an awesome track. My girlfriend went out with him. Is that something to be proud of? Is she my girlfriend? Not sure on either of those points.

  The clock hits two and it’s time for bed. We’re all wankered.

  ‘It was very nice to meet you, Lauren. You’re not like most of the girls Ollie goes out with.’

  ‘No?’ Lauren replies.