With hungry abandon Tommy straddled me, his hands holding mine above my head, again his eyes darkened; his pupils abducted the entire color, I could feel how incredibly turned on he was and as I parted my legs ever so slightly, he found an opening and thrust himself inside. I can't even begin to describe how delicious it felt, a wave of euphoric delight passed over me, through me and took me by complete arrest. Unaware of how long this went on, Tommy and I enjoyed a heady concoction of torrid sex and gentle love making until we both, exhausted by passion and exercise, fell into a deep sleep.
Waking us from our slumber I could hear something scratching at the stable door, afraid that it was a rat I stirred Tommy who jumped up, pulled on his jeans and walked over to the door, as he opened it a burst of sunlight blared into the room, horrified that it was daylight we were both even more startled at the sight of Dollie standing before us, wagging her tail and barking excitedly that she'd discovered us. I bolted up and got dressed, if Dollie was on the loose it meant that Grandpa wasn't far behind, how could we have fallen asleep until morning? Tommy was of course on the same page and he snatched up his remaining clothes and quickly dressed; now we just needed to devise a plan of getting out of there without being seen.
It was just after six in the morning and I knew Grandpa would be in the yard somewhere, probably seeing to the cows, if we were lucky he would be herding them into the bottom field leaving us enough time to dive out of the yard, the only other hurdle we would have to bypass would be my grandmother seeing us from one of the windows. It was funny thinking back on it but at the time neither of us were laughing, it would have seemed so disrespectful to my grandparents as well as making us feel like we'd done something sordid and that wasn't the case at all. I'd never made love like that before and even though I'd only ever slept with a handful of men, Tommy managed to surpass any feelings I'd ever had before, despite our current dilemma, I didn't want to leave Tommy's side, my marriage was over … John had made sure of that but in my mind it was confirmed for certain.
With our hearts racing and brains working overtime we both managed to slip over the field wall and into Tommy's ranch, feeling pretty sure that neither of my grandparents had seen us we felt a slight sense of triumph. That was until we bumped right into Jess as he was coming into the ranch yard. Clearly wearing the same clothes as we'd last been seen in, it was plainly obvious that we'd been up to something.
“Morning Jess.” Tommy greeted him casually.
Jess's face broke into a smile but he continued on his way, I bet he couldn't wait to get into the ranch to pass on the juicy gossip. I pointed this out to Tommy and he just laughed, “Well that's ok isn't it?”
“No, it's not!” I laughed, “I've got a reputation to keep.”
Tommy winked, “So have I.”
Over coffee, Tommy and I chatted. It turned out his life was mainly occupied by the ranch; he'd not had anyone serious in his life, no children and no desire to get married. I thanked the Lord that John and I hadn't had children at that point. That would have been even messier than it already was. This also suddenly reminded me that I had to call John, to see what was going on. Tommy and I kissed goodbye.
“Come over when you're a little more informed eh? I have a feeling you're not going to like what you hear and you're going to need a friend,” he squeezed my hand.
I smiled and blew a kiss in his direction, “I think we've exceeded the friendship line?”
Back at the farmhouse there was no-one to be seen, a note on the kitchen table from Grandma told me that they'd headed off into the village to pick up some supplies and would be back shortly after lunch. I was kind of relieved that I didn't have to face any questions as to where I'd been, whether or not they'd seen Tommy and I sneaking out of the stable and also that I had some time alone to call John.
Mentally preparing myself I put a call through to John's mobile. He picked up on the second ring.
“Eva, this can't take long, I'm up to my eyeballs with work and you've caught me on a short 5 minute break.”
So, there was to be no 'How are you? Hope you're ok, or 'I miss you' it seemed. “John, I called your office yesterday.” As expected there was a deathly and uncomfortable silence.
“Yes? Why do that when you can ring my mobile?” he questioned, as if I were in the wrong.
I had to tell a little white lie, “Your mobile was off John, your secretary said you were on a break, not in the Mercer Conference.”
I'd decided to give him no time to think, perhaps it was better I know whether he was prepared in telling lies or they just flew out of his mouth, it seemed the latter was the answer.
“It was cancelled last minute … I wasn't exactly impressed so I decided to take off for a few days, a bit of a sulk, if you like. Plus, it seems we both have a lot to think about at the moment Eva so I'm making good use of my time.”
Oh I bet he was. I could have pushed it more but for now that was all I needed; he'd just proved he was a liar, that was the base of what I was building up to, a plan had started to form right there and then in front of me … I was going to allow John to hang himself and during that very first phone call, I'd handed him the noose.
“Well do use it wisely John, it's what we both need, time on our own, away from outside influences otherwise they'll cloud your judgment. By the way ...” and this was going to give him something to think about, “have you gone and bought yourself another new car?”
John hesitated for a second longer than he needed, “No … I did borrow Helena's car sometime this week though … mine was in for service.”
“Ah I see, that was kind of her, saves you getting a hire car. Ok, enjoy your break and ...”
John interrupted me, obviously curiosity getting the better of him. “How did you know that Eva? About the car, I mean?”
I smiled, he'd reacted, “Miguel passed by the other night and noticed it there that's all.”
I could almost hear John's mind working overtime, “Right, yes, Miguel. Anyway, I have to go now, take care and don't be eating too much of that home-made food your Grandmother likes to fill you up with, you'll come back wider than an elephant.” The phone clicked dead.
The last comment should have hurt my feelings but it didn't, I was used to John's crass remarks about my size; to him I was the size of an elephant, however I was nowhere near that size and his remarks were starting to wear less and less thin by the day. I'd planted a little seed for him to think about, he may or may not suspect that I'm onto him and he may not have even cared but I wasn't about to roll over and let him off without having a little bit of fun myself. What Tommy and I had done hadn't influenced my judgment or decision but had certainly helped me realize that John's attitude and treatment towards me was less than acceptable, then to discover that he was having an affair, with Helena Grainger of all people, enough was enough, it was time for me to stop thinking about everyone else's feelings and concentrate on my own.
I immediately rang Miguel and told him about the phone call, at the end of my story he squealed with delight.
“Oh girlfriend, you have got it going on! Perfect approach and application, slowly, slowly catch the monkey!”
I smiled to myself, Miguel's verbal expressions never failed to do that and he enjoyed every moment of the drama. “What do you think I should do next though?”
I hadn't really given any thought to the extent and continuance of my plan, I'd only managed to think about the initial question, now John had confirmed my suspicions I had to think of what was going to make him fall into the end trap. I could have quite easily told him there and then that I knew he was with Helena and that she was welcome to him, that I'd embarked on a reunion with Tommy and that I was staying in the country but I didn't know whether that was in my plan never mind anything else … besides, I knew John too well and he would be like a child with a toy, if someone else came along to share and play, he would be snatching the toy straight back. Did I want John to show his possessive side or was that not e
nough anymore?
It was evidently too early for me to be coming to any kind of conclusion at the moment, I was still reeling from the initial discovery, then the whole 'Tommy' situation came into it, not to mention the fact that John was now definitely lying to me.
Hearing a noise from the yard I looked out of the window to see my grandparents arriving back from the village, Dollie was perfecting her usual interrogation of the car and what they were unloading from it, anything whatsoever that crossed the farmyard entrance had to be passed by Dollie, she was ruthless in her pursuit of the odd titbit or treat that may have been brought in for her. I went downstairs to help with the unpacking of the goods.
“Ah, there you are." Grandma smiled. “We were beginning to think you'd got lost, can you grab these for me my dear?”
I took a couple of plastic bags from Grandma which was obviously household shopping bags, whilst Grandpa took the farm supplies and stored them in the front barn. They were endearing to watch, such a team, each knowing their role and what the other one was going to do next, I wouldn't be surprised if they were able to finish each other's' sentences off.
“Lunch will be ready in half an hour,” she called after my Grandpa whose arm rose in the air as a sign he would be there.
Turning to me she smiled, “Ok, you'd better sit down and tell me everything … you don't have to worry, I know you were with Tommy last night … don't either of you ever attempt to enter the world of espionage … your escape plan sucked.”
It was an inevitable smile that crossed my lips, I knew there was no fooling my grandmother, but it hadn't be out of deviance and I knew she understood that without having to make any excuses.
“Firstly Grandma, I didn't set out to sleep with Tommy, it just happened … but I'm glad it did.”
It felt strange having this type of conversation with my grandmother but it was cards on the table time, if I was to have any chance of working this whole mess out, I had to be honest and the person I was offloading onto had to know absolutely everything otherwise there was no point in seeking advice. Grandma took it all in her stride.
“Do you regret anything?” she asked, pouring the tea carefully into the pre-warmed pot, as she stirred the bags around I was without hesitation able to respond truthfully.
“No. I'm not proud that I have slept with someone behind my husband's back and although he has already done that to me, I know that two wrongs don't make a right, but, I knew what I was doing when I slept with Tommy … and it's not the first time.”
Stating this fact was perhaps more nerve wrecking than admitting my infidelity but Grandma never flinched.
“Eva, honey, I may seem like a dinosaur and a little behind the door where sexual behavior is concerned, but you're my little girl and I knew the moment you became a woman, I also knew that that moment was with Tommy. My goodness, you only have to look at you two to see that you have a connection, I saw it the moment you bumped into each other at the party the other night … I'm not a judge Eva, I love you and want the best for you … but, to be honest I always saw ultimate unhappiness for you and John.”
I was relieved to hear her words but intrigued by her last comments, “What do you mean Grandma?”
Knowing that the tea would now be perfectly brewed, Grandma poured tea into each cup and looked up at the wall on the kitchen wall, “Listen, Grandpa will be back shortly and we can't keep condemning him to the farmyard every time we need to talk, so, let's postpone this discussion until after lunch and we'll take a walk down by the lake … more privacy and a little fresh air will help things along, I promise you.”
With those wise words we agreed to prepare lunch and after clearing up we'd take a stroll through the fields and hang out by the river. I rose from the table just as Grandpa walked through the door, kicking off his boots and negotiating Dollie's excited dancing, he kissed both Grandma and myself and sat waiting at the table for his lunchtime feed. It was so comforting just being around these guys, they were my grounding, my stability and my trust, a shining example for anyone to follow, I'd made the right decision by coming home.
Down by the river it was peaceful, only the consistent singing of the birds broke the silence. Compared to the steely, grey landscape of the city, I was now enveloped in a vibrant spectrum of color and stimulus, a gift of inspiration and even though I was finding it difficult to find any personal inspiration, I knew there was no better place to find a solution to my problems, and Grandma was no better person to discuss them with. Talking with Tommy was so good but he was biased as to the outcome of my ultimate decision, of course he wanted me to leave John and move back to the country but then what? To be together, for me to be on the farm and him to continue on the ranch, we hadn't really gotten that far in terms of future plans but for me that kind of deduction was too far away.
Sitting side by side, mesmerized by the movement of the river, Grandma broke the silence, “Do you think at the end of all of this you are in control of the outcome?”
I was slightly confused by the question, “What do you mean, with regards to John or Tommy?”
“Well, you may be sitting here thinking that you need to decide whether or not you want to be with John … but, he may have already decided that for the both of you,” she explained.
I could tell that she hadn't really wanted to state this fact but it wasn't something that I'd actually thought about, now it was put in front of me it was true, perhaps John had already decided to leave me.
“The thing is Grandma, I don't actually know how long this has been going on, I agree, if it's just a recent thing, it may just be a fling or an affair that will fizzle out, but, if it's been going on for as long as I think it has then John may be quite happy to continue doing so … the worst case scenario is that he thinks he can go on seeing Helena and I never find out … but I have so, whether it's a fling or it's love … I now know. John can no longer have his cake and eat it … it's time the greedy bastard went on a diet … God only knows he reminds me to watch my eating habits.”
Grandma turned to me and looked a little shocked, “What do you mean by that?”
I went onto explain that John constantly made jibes about my weight and belittled me reminding me how 'big' I was getting, without actually being able to finish my words, Grandma was visibly enraged.
“Eva, are you honestly telling me that John has criticized your size?”
I nodded, indicating that her question was the appropriate question to ask.
“My God, Eva that's absurd! You're a normal, healthy size, what the hell?”
“Grandma, it's okay, I don't really let it bother me, I'm completely happy with the way I am, it's just the way John is,” I defended myself, and perhaps John.
“I don't care whether that's the way John is. If your grandfather had ever come out with that kind of imbecilic comment I would have bull whipped him over the stocks and then some … a husband should never, ever deal out that kind of comment. Ever.”
I knew she was right and perhaps I had justified John's comments in favor of arguing with him, I'd never agreed with his opinion of my size so why had I allowed him to continue to chip away at my confidence? I'd just accepted John's words thinking that this was just his way, I wasn't stupid, I knew his opinion was wrong but I'd just found it easier to ignore, however, you tell someone they're stupid and if you tell them often enough they start to believe it.
“You need to tell John exactly what you know, there's no point in prolonging this anymore, decisions need to be made and you need to be set free. If you want my honest opinion Eva, this marriage is dead, you have far too much to offer and I'm not saying it's with Tommy but you can't remain shackled to a man who doesn't think enough of you and makes you doubt your self-worth. If one of your friends was being cheated on, what would you advise?” Grandma was now holding both of my hands and looking into both my eyes for my honesty, I owed her nothing more than the truth.
“I would advise to get the hell out,” I stated.
<
br /> Grandma squeezed my hands, “And that's because you were raised well, so do it. Walk away, he's destroying your faith and you shouldn't be accepting that in your life. I don't particularly agree with the fact that you and Tommy have complicated things, including infidelity … but, in the circumstances I hope that what you both did has made you realize that ultimately, you and John are not meant to be.”
She was right and I knew it. As we walked back to the farm Grandma looped her arm into mine, I couldn't have wished for a better confidante, my life was in turmoil but with Grandma by my side I felt less impact and given more strength to cope with it all. I had made at least one good decision in all of this and that was to come back home, I now had to establish what was to be done next and I knew it wasn't going to be an easy task to consider.
Rodeo (BBW Cowboy Romance) (BBW Western Romance) Page 10