by Smith, Megan
Something changed with Jason when we landed though. It was like a switch had gone on and off he went. I don’t know what he had been up to but my dad had to bail him out of jail a couple of days after we got back. I didn’t know anything was going on until my dad dropped him off at our place that night. I questioned Jason and was told to just leave it alone. I questioned my dad and he said to ask Jason about it.
***
“Grandpa knew what happened, or at least knew what Jason did. So it couldn’t have been so bad at that point, right? He wouldn’t knowingly let Mom get hurt.” My mind is racing with all the different things it could be, but no way could Grandpa ever let his own daughter get in harm’s way.
“No, he wouldn’t have let anything happen to her at all. He is the type of guy who lets you learn from your mistakes. He did that a lot with me, especially when he was teaching me how to fish. I could never get that damn worm on the hook after he showed me a few times but he just told me to keep trying, to learn from my mistakes and I’d eventually get it right. So that had to be what he was doing with Mom, letting her learn from her mistakes because there was no way he would have let Mom stay with Jason if things were getting bad.”
“We know the hell that Mom lived through but she never once told us what exactly it was that he did. We know why she left with us but what was it?”
“Keep reading, I’m sure that is what Mom is getting at.”
***
The lies started rolling in one after another. Jason didn’t seem to care about what I was thinking he was in to, what Hunter was up to these days, or whether we came or went. He was home less and less with each and every passing day.
Dad had to pick Jason up from the police station again. Almost two months to the day from the last time. Most days, things were bad around the house when Jason was actually home. We fought, we fought a lot. When we did get in to a fight, most of the time, Hunter was napping or asleep for the night. My mom and dad walked in on us fighting one night when they were dropping Hunter off. Jason came home drunk and smelling like perfume. He swore it was from the bartender but I’m not dumb. Jason had my back pinned to the counter when my parents and Hunter walked in. My mom took Hunter right to his room while my dad shoved Jason’s shoulder away from me so that I could slip by. He didn’t say anything to either of us until he was walking out the front door. With tears in my eyes he turned and looked at me and said, “I don’t want you marrying that boy.” Then he turned and walked out with my mom on his heels. That was going to be an issue now that I was pregnant again though.
***
I clear my throat. “Well, that got intense pretty fast.”
“Yeah, and I would have agreed with Grandpa back then not to marry that piece of shit.”
“Agreed, but we know she didn’t listen.”
“Women never listen.”
“I heard that,” yells MacKenzie from somewhere in the house.
Hunter chuckles shaking his head, “You can quit hiding.”
A second later she emerges from the hallway with a glass of wine in her hands. “I wasn’t hiding. I was in the kitchen and just overheard.”
“Give me that,” I say, taking the glass from her hands. It’s a good thing Cooper is picking us up in a little while because this wine is good and I plan on having another glass.
MacKenzie and Hunter both stare at me. I don’t have a problem, I swear, it’s just easier to handle things lately with a glass of wine to take the edge off. Between losing Mom and adjusting to having a newborn, things overwhelm me a bit. I’d never admit that to them though. I’ll never make myself look like the weak link. I’ve been through worse things in my life and I can surely handle this, too, it’s just taking a little longer than I would like it.
“Anyway, back to what you were saying, Hunter. What in the hell does that mean exactly?”
MacKenzie takes a seat on Hunter’s lap, “Yeah, dear, what exactly does that mean?”
Hunter adjusts his wife on his lap, “Just that we look at things from a different point of view. Women think with their emotions and let it cloud their judgment.”
MacKenzie and I both narrow our eyes at Hunter. “You’re walking a thin line, brother.”
“I’m just saying.”
“That better be all you’re saying,” MacKenzie says with a sweet smile on her face. “Alright, I’ll let you two get back to it.”
“You know you don’t have to go if you don’t want to, right?”
MacKenzie looks to me to confirm what Hunter said. “It’s fine with me.”
A big smile graces her face. “Great! Now where are we?”
Hunter takes a minute to fill MacKenzie in while I use the bathroom and check in on a sleeping Brooklyn in the living room. When I come back there is a bowl of chips and pretzels on the table.
***
It took me a few days to get the courage to tell Jason I was pregnant again. I told him one morning while he was still lying in bed attempting to clear the fog from his late night out again. He didn’t say anything at first, just stared blankly at the ceiling, before slowly turning his head in my direction. I watched as the emotions played on his face. I could see the fear, the protectiveness, and also the doubt. The doubt is what really got to me though. He never said he ever thought that the baby I was carrying inside me wasn’t his but I could feel it. And he was wrong, dead wrong for ever thinking that the baby wasn’t his. I wasn’t the one who was out late every night. I wasn’t the one hiding things from him. Deep down in the pit of my stomach I knew that the end was near for Jason and me in that moment.
***
“Let me guess, he’s going to sweep her off her feet again, right?” Hunter says with venom laced in his voice.
***
The days drifted by and as they did Jason started coming home every night again and even sometimes decided not to go anywhere at all just to spend the day spoiling Hunter and me. Those were the days that I craved, the days where it was just the three of us in our own little bubble. We were one happy family until he got one single, five-second phone call and he was right back to his old self. He had to go but promised to take me away for the weekend if I could get my parents to watch Hunter. Of course they would, they loved him just as much as I did and they were always willing to take him for me. So I went but I was going to voice my concerns with Jason while we were on this getaway though. I just hoped it doesn’t backfire in my face.
***
I finally got engaged.
Jason and I went off to his cousin’s house in the Hamptons. It was a few hours’ drive but we made it with just enough daylight left to sightsee as we were driving to the house. When we pulled up in front of this monstrous gate sitting up on a hill, we were at the entrance to this white mansion of a house. I looked over at Jason and asked just how many cousins lived in this house because it looked like it could house a small army. He promised it was just us here for the weekend, but yes, it was just his cousin’s house but he was out of town so I wouldn’t get to meet him.
At this point I hadn’t really got to meet any of Jason’s family except for his parents but that wasn’t a pleasant experience. They basically accused me of ruining Jason’s life when I got pregnant. The less I saw of them, the better for all of us. I could count on one hand the number of times they had visited with Hunter.
Jason pampered me the entire weekend we were away. He made an appointment for me to get my hair done, we took long walks on the beach, watched the sun set, even went shopping which I know he hates doing. Saturday night he set up a candlelit dinner out on the back deck that had this amazing view of the ocean. It was perfect. The sun was just setting, the sound of the ocean waves crashing in the background with a light warm breeze to cool off the scorching hot day. Did I mention that the mansion came fully staffed even with his cousin gone? Yeah, well, it did. They served us the most flavorful chicken with a side of vegetables and rice. After we had eaten, the staff took our plates away and Jason stood and held out h
is hand for me. He pulled me close into his arms and we slowly rocked back and forth to our own beat. He spun me away and quickly spun me back into his arms before placing a sweet kiss on my lips and getting on one knee. I knew what was happening in that moment. My eyes teared up and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. He was finally asking me to marry him. I never thought this day would ever come. Maybe there was hope for us after all.
***
“Oh, Mom, you should have known better,” I whisper.
MacKenzie reached over and squeezed my hand.
***
Jason and I didn’t want to wait to get married. We wanted to do it before the baby came. My parents were not on board at all with our plans. They were actually totally against Jason and I getting married. It didn’t matter to me though because he was the father of my children and they deserved growing up with parents like I had. They deserved to see the love between two people, they deserved to have a happy family, and that’s what we were going to give them.
After a whirlwind of events getting everything together for the wedding we were set to get married just two weeks after he asked me to be his wife.
At the time I couldn’t wait for our wedding day. I was over the moon.
***
I’m officially a married woman.
The wedding didn’t go as planned though and will forever be a painful memory for me. My own father refused to take part in my wedding. My mom showed up when it was supposed to be my dad. I was waiting for him to come so that we could head over to the church together, but he had other plans. I’ll never forget the words my mother said to Jason and me after I called him and he rushed to my side. “I lost my dream of dancing with my husband at my daughter’s wedding because he’s not coming. He is refusing to walk his own daughter down the aisle because he can’t support the two of you. I sure hope you both know what you’re doing.” And with that she turned on her heel and left me crying in Jason’s arms.
After I was able to pull myself together I decided to walk myself down the aisle with Hunter by my side. I could do it all by myself. Walking into an unfamiliar church filled with so many people I didn’t know was so awkward and strange for me. They were all here to support Jason and me in what was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives, but was now one of the saddest for me. My parents who always promised to support me took their words back and I will never forget it.
***
“I hate to say this but I really don’t blame them,” Hunter stated. “I know it had to be really difficult for Grandpa and Grandma to do that but they were only doing what they thought was right.”
“Yeah, but at that point no one seemed to have known what would have happened. Not unless your Grandpa knew.”
“If he knew he would have stopped the wedding altogether. I think he was just making it known that their wedding wasn’t going to be supported by them.”
“Maybe.”
“I really feel bad for Mom though. All she wanted was to be happy, to be loved by the father of her children,” I say, sadly.
“Falling in love is never easy especially when your family doesn’t support it, or should I say didn’t want to support it,” MacKenzie says, gloomily.
“Your story is different, Kenz. It’s not that your family didn’t want to support it; it’s just that they were scared. They didn’t want to see you get hurt.”
“And we proved them wrong, babe.”
MacKenzie looks over to my brother with so much love it’s sickening really but that is what I wish my mom would have gotten in return, instead of the heartache that we know she went through.
***
The love I have for my son is so totally and completely different than the love I have for the little girl I had just had. She was truly and utterly beautiful beyond words. I loved both of my babies the same but it was a different love for each one. I couldn’t put into words why or what was different but it just was. I was head over heels for her and she had only been on this Earth for a few days.
Jason was over the moon, too. He started slipping back into his old ways but pulled it together and had been here for us since her arrival.
***
Things are horrible and I’m afraid I might have to go to my parents. Jason is a mess but he won’t talk to me. He doesn’t sleep and barely eats either. All we did was fight anytime I approached the situation. He’d yell and tell me to mind my own business. This wasn’t how any marriage was supposed to work. We were supposed to be a team but if that was how he wanted things that was fine. I was done trying. I was beyond exhausted.
***
I was held captive at gunpoint in my own house as ‘insurance’ or so I was told shortly after a huge fight that Jason and I had. At that moment I had no idea what he was talking about. All I could think about was Jaylinn in her nursery all by herself and whether she was okay. I didn’t know if these intruders knew about my baby or not and I was trying everything not to let on about her. I was so thankful that my parents had Hunter for the night and I didn’t need to worry about him.
Jason walked in the front door where I was being held at gunpoint while sitting on the stairs. He dropped a black bag in front of one of the guys. They exchanged words, picked up the bag, punched Jason in the stomach, and walked out the door. I screamed and ran up the stairs, leaving Jason there groaning in pain to go find my daughter. I prayed like hell that she was okay, and she was, at least from what I could see. She was naked with just a piece of tape over her mouth. It was no wonder I couldn’t hear her crying.
Jason somehow managed to climb up the stairs to find me on the floor crying with Jaylinn wrapped tightly in my arms. I demanded answers or I was calling the police. He admitted that he had to rob a bank tonight and deliver the money to the people who just left or he and his family would be killed. I screamed at him that I didn’t understand any of what was going on. How could he not be outraged that his baby girl was naked and her mouth had been taped while his wife was held at gunpoint. He had checked out though. He just said that they did that to scare us, to prove a point and that they wouldn’t be bothering us again.
After he told me that he left me sitting there on the floor with a million questions running through my head, but one thing was for sure, I had to get us out of this quickly.
***
“Wow, hearing it from your mom’s point of view makes it more real for me, I guess. I mean you’ve told me what happened but I guess it didn’t hit home what you both went through until now.” MacKenzie says with disbelief in her eyes.
“I’m just glad I don’t remember any of it.”
“I wish I was older, you know. At least then I could have helped you and mom somehow.”
“But you weren’t, Hunter. Jason did this to us.”
He shrugs his shoulders still feeling guilty for something he had no control over.
***
What do you do when your life flashes before your eyes? You get the hell out of dodge and hide in the Tennessee Valley mountains with your parents and two babies.
A week after I was held at gunpoint, it happened again by the same men only this time Hunter was home. It was like déjà vu only this episode had a different ending. Jason delivered another bag but left with the men this time. As soon as he was gone I packed me and the kids a bag and called my parents on the way. I also took the large bag of cash I knew Jason had hidden for emergencies. All I was thinking was fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I left and I was never going back again, no matter what.
I explained everything to my parents when I arrived. My mom was scared for us and my dad was murderous but both promised to protect us and never let anything happen. Over the next few days we were all tucked in the cabin in Tennessee. Jason had only known of the place and thankfully had never been there so we could all rest peacefully knowing he couldn’t find us.
***
“Anyone else’s heart beating a mile a minute?” I ask.
“No, I just hate him a li
ttle more now. I can’t believe he would do that to her twice.”
“What do you think he was actually doing? Like why would he have to rob a bank for those guys? I thought he was working for his uncle from what Hunter told me?” MacKenzie asks a good question.
“Drugs is my guess.” Hunter chimes in his two cents.
“Or maybe they were loan sharks?” It wasn’t a horrible guess considering he had to rob a bank… he may have had to pay those guys back.
“Both are good guesses. Do you think she ever found out the real reason?”
“I’m sure she probably did. I wish she would have gone to the police the very first time it happened though. Maybe it could have prevented the second time.”
“She was scared, Hunter,” I say with certainty because if I put myself in Mom’s shoes I’d do the same thing.
“She was, I’m sure.” MacKenzie climbs off Hunter’s lap. “Well, I’m going to go check on the kids to see if they are up from their naps. Are you guys going to continue reading to see if she actually finds out?”
My brother looks to me and I shrug a shoulder. “I think I’ve had enough for the day.” I tap on my cell and check the time. “Cooper should be here soon anyway. I think this is a good place to stop for the day.”
“Yeah, okay, we can pick up in the next day or so.”