by Jean M. Auel
Joplaya had decided to mate with Echozar because she knew she could never have the man she loved. She chose him, she once told Ayla, because she knew she'd never find a man who would love her more, and she was right. Echozar was one of 'mixed spirits' — his mother had been Clan, and many people thought he was as ugly as Joplaya was beautiful. But not Ayla. She was sure Echozar looked the way her son would, when he grew up.
Bokovan exhibited all of the components of his unusual background. The physical strength of the Clan from Echozar along with the height of his mother, and Dalanar, were already obvious. His eyes were only slightly slanted and dark, nearly as dark as Jerika's, but not exactly black. Touches of a lighter shade or a reflective sparkle gave them an vivid quality she had never seen in such dark eyes. They were not only unusual, they were compelling. She sensed something special about Bokovan and wished the Lanzadonii lived closer; she would love to watch him grow up.
He was only a little younger than her son had been the last time she saw him, and he reminded her so much of Durc it almost hurt. Ayla wondered what kind of mind he would have. Would he have some aspect of the Clan memories along with the capacity to make art and speak with words? Like Dalanar's and Jerika's people? She had often thought about her son in the same way.
'Bokovan is a very special child, Joplaya,' Ayla said. 'When he's a little older, I wish you would consider sending him to the Ninth Cave for me to keep for a while.'
'Why?' Joplaya asked.
'Partly because he may have some unique qualities that could lead to the zelandonia, and you might want to know about that, but mostly because I would love to get to know him better,' Ayla said.
Joplaya smiled, then paused. 'Would you be willing to send Jonayla to the Lanzadonii to stay with me for a while?'
'I never thought about it,' Ayla said, 'but that might be a good idea … in a few years … if she'd be willing to go. Why do you want her?'
'I'll never have a girl. I'll never have another child. It was too hard on me giving birth to Bokovan,' Joplaya said.
Ayla remembered the difficulty she had giving birth to her son Durc, the one born to the Clan, and she had heard about Joplaya's problems. 'Are you sure, Joplaya. One difficult birth doesn't mean they all will be.'
'Our Donier says she doesn't think I should try. She's afraid I would die. I came very close with Bokovan. I am taking the medicine that you gave the zelandonia — and mother tries to make sure I take it. I do it to please her, but even if I didn't, I don't think it would matter. I don't think I can get pregnant again. In spite of mother, I stopped taking the medicine for a while. I wanted another child, but Doni chose not to bless me,' Joplaya said.
Ayla didn't want to pry, but as a Zelandoni she felt she had to ask, especially now. 'Do you honour the Mother frequently? It is important, if you want the Mother to bless you, that you honour Her properly.'
Joplaya smiled. 'Echozar is a sweet and loving man. He may not be the one I wanted, Ayla …' She paused, and for a fleeting moment a look of desolation darkened her expression. Ayla matched it with one of her own, for an entirely different reason. 'But I was right when I said no one could love me more than Echozar, and I have truly come to care for him. In the beginning, he could hardly bring himself to touch me, out of fear that he would somehow hurt me, and because, I think, he couldn't quite believe he had the right. We are beyond that now, although he still acts so grateful sometimes, I have to tease him out of it. He's even learning to laugh at himself. I think Doni is properly honoured.'
Ayla thought for a while. It was possible that the problem wasn't Joplaya's, but Echozar's. He was half Clan, and there could be a reason why a man who was Clan, or even just part, might experience some problem having a child with one of the Others. One child could have been just luck, though some would call him 'abomination', not luck. She wasn't sure how often someone of the Clan actually coupled with one of the Others, or how many of the offspring lived, or were allowed to live.
Everyone knew about those with mixed spirits, but she hadn't seen very many. She stopped to consider them: There was her son, Durc, and Ura at the Clan Gathering. Rydag of the Mamutoi Lion Camp. Possibly Attaroa and others among the S'Armunai had Clan mixed in. Echozar was half, and of course, there was Bokovan. It was likely Brukeval's mother had been half, too, which accounted for his characteristic look.
She was going to ask how well the Mother was honoured at ceremonies and festivals among the Lanzadonii. They were still a small group, although there had been some talk, she knew, about where they would locate a second Cave, sometime in the future. It occured to her that perhaps she ought to talk to their Zelandoni first. After all, she was one of the zelandonia and ought to discuss such things with another Zelandoni. Perhaps I should consult with the First. She may have some thoughts on the matter, Ayla thought.
Echozar arrived at the camp then and the subject changed. She was glad for the chance to stop trying to be Zelandoni and just be a friend. He gave her a broad smile, which still startled her somewhat on a face so strongly Clan. An expression that bared the teeth had a different meaning in the clan she grew up with.
'Ayla! How good to see you!' Echozar said as they embraced. He too had noticed the fresh mark on her forehead, and though he understood what it meant, he had been adopted by Dalanar's people, and it didn't affect him quite the same way. He knew she was an Acolyte, and expected her to become a Zelandoni someday. He might have commented on it, but he'd been exposed to more than his share of comment about the way he looked, and was reluctant to bring up any aspect of another person's appearance.
'And here's the wolf,' he said, feeling just a touch of apprehension when Wolf sniffed him. The Lanzadonii were not as familiar with the animal, and though he did remember him, it took a while to get used to the idea of a wolf mingling freely with people. 'I heard he was here, that's how I knew you had arrived. I was afraid we wouldn't see you after making the trip all the way here. Some of us were even considering going to the Ninth Cave to see you before we left. Your Mamutoi kin and their S'Armunai friend are definitely planning to go, and some of the Lanzadonii were thinking of going along,' Echozar said.
Ayla thought he seemed much more confident and relaxed, and was sure Dalanar was right about how helpful it had been for Echozar to be accepted so easily by Danug and Druwez and — what was his name — Aldanor? She was sure Jondalar had welcomed him, too, along with their kin and and several close friends. Jondalar would be very good about making Echozar feel welcome … but he hadn't said one single welcoming word to her. The only time she had seen him since she arrived was in the small woods, standing naked with Marona. Ayla had to look away to fight back the sudden tightness in her throat and sting of impending tears, feelings that seemed to come upon her at the most unexpected moments, lately. She said she had something in her eye.
'Just because I've come to the Summer Meeting doesn't mean you can't come to visit the Ninth Cave,' Ayla said after a moment. 'It's not very far from here, and since you are so close, you might as well. I think Dalanar and Joplaya would be interested in the way Jondalar has set up the training for his flint-knapping apprentices. He has six of them now,' Ayla said, sounding almost normal. After all, she could hardly help talking about Jondalar to Dalanar and Joplaya. 'And I'd love to see a little more of Bokovan, and of course, all the rest of you.'
'I think that little one has charmed Ayla completely,' Dalanar said. Everyone smiled benignly.
'He is going to be a big man,' Echozar said. 'And I want to teach him to be a good hunter.'
Ayla grinned at him. For a moment, she could imagine that Echozar was a man of the Clan, proud of the son of his hearth. 'He may turn out to be more than just a big man, Echozar. I think he's a very special child.'
'Where is Jondalar?' Echozar asked. 'Wasn't he supposed to come and share a meal with us tonight?'
'I saw him when he was taking Jonayla out with the horses after midday. He said he couldn't make it,' Dalanar said, sounding disappointed.
'I was going to take Jonayla out, but the zelandoni meeting took longer than I expected,' Ayla said. Everyone glanced up at her forehead.
'Did he say why he couldn't come?' Echozar asked.
'I don't know, something about other plans, and promises he made before Ayla came.'
Ayla felt her stomach knot. I can imagine what promises he made, she thought.
It was nearly dark by the time Ayla insisted she had to go. Echozar walked back with her and Jonayla and Wolf, carrying a torch.
'You look happy, Echozar,' Ayla said.
'I am happy, although I still find it hard to believe Joplaya is my mate. Sometimes I wake up at night and just look at her in the firelight. She is so beautiful, and she's wonderful. Kind and understanding. I feel so lucky, I sometimes wonder how I could deserve her.'
'She's lucky, too, you know. I wish we lived closer.'
'So you could see more of Bokovan?' he said. She saw his teeth gleaming with a smile.
'It's true, I would like to see more of Bokovan, and you and Joplaya, and everyone else,' Ayla said.
'Have you considered coming back with us and staying over winter?' Echozar asked. 'You know, Dalanar says you and Jondalar are always welcome.'
Ayla frowned, staring into the dark. Yes, of course, Jondalar, she thought. 'I don't think Jondalar would want to leave his apprentices. He has made promises, and winter is the best time to work on perfecting techniques,' she said.
Echozar was silent for a few paces. 'I don't suppose you'd want to leave Jondalar for a season and visit by yourself, with Jonayla and your animals, of course,' he said. 'As much as she loves Bokovan, I know Joplaya would love to have that little girl around. She and Bokovan spent a lot of time at Levela's camp and got to know her.'
'I … don't know. I guess I never thought about it. I've been so busy training for the zelandonia …,' she said, then glanced around looking for her daughter, who was straggling behind. She has probably found something along the path to distract her, Ayla thought.
'We would never object to having another Donier,' Echozar said.
Ayla smiled at him, then stopped. 'Jonayla, why are you so far back?'
'I'm tired, mother,' Jonayla whined. 'Would you carry me?'
Ayla stopped to pick her daughter up, using a hip for support. The little girl's arms felt good around her neck. She had missed Jonayla, and hugged her little body close.
They continued in silence for a while, and began to hear raucous voices. Ahead they could see the light of a campfire behind a fairly dense stand of brush. It wasn't a regular Cave's site, Ayla gathered as they drew closer. Through the screen of brush, she noticed several men sitting around the fire. They were obviously gaming, and drinking something from miniature waterbags, made from the nearly waterproof stomachs of small animals. She knew many of the men; several were from the Ninth Cave, but there was a sprinkling of others from several different Caves.
Laramar was there, the man who was known for making the potent alcoholic brew from almost anything that would ferment. While they didn't have the refinement of the wine that Marthona made, the drinks he produced weren't bad. He did very little of anything else and had perfected what had become his 'craft', but he made it in quantity and many people regularly drank too much, creating problems. His only other claim to fame had been a hearthful of unkempt children, and a slovenly mate who indulged heavily in his product. Ayla and the rest of the Cave took more care of the children than either Laramar or Tremeda did.
Now the oldest girl, Lanoga, was mated to Lanidar and had a child of her own, but the young couple had adopted all her younger siblings. Her older brother, Bolagan, also lived with them and helped to provide for the children. He had also helped to build their new dwelling, along with Jondalar and several others. Her mother, Tremeda, and Laramar also lived with them occasionally, when they chose to go to a place they called home, and both of them behaved as though it was theirs.
Besides Laramar, Ayla noticed the distinctive forehead markings of a Zelandoni on one man, but when he smiled, she saw the gap of his missing front teeth and frowned, realising it was Madroman. Had he already been accepted into the zelandonia and tattooed? She didn't think so. She looked again and noticed that an edge of the 'tattoo' was smeared. He must have painted it on, using the colours that some people used to temporarily decorate their faces for special occasions, but she had never seen anyone decorated with Zelandoni marks before.
Seeing him reminded her of the backpack she had found in the cave and had brought to the First. Though he invariably smiled and tried to engage her in conversation, she had always felt uneasy around Madroman. He disturbed her in a way that made her think of how a horse's fur looked when it was stroked opposite to the direction in which it grew; he rubbed her the wrong way.
She saw many young men, talking and laughing loudly, but there were other men of all ages. From what she knew of those she recognised, none of them contributed much. Some were not too bright, or were easily led. One of them spent most of his time drinking Laramar's brew, barely stumbling home each night, and often could be found in some out-of-the-way place completely unconscious, smelling of drink and vomit. Another was known to be unnecessarily brutal, especially to his mate and her children, and the zelandonia had talked of ways to intercede, waiting only for his mate to ask for help.
Then almost hidden in the shadows, she caught sight of Brukeval sitting somewhat off by himself with his back to a tall, roughly pointed stump, taking a drink from one of the bags. His temper still bothered her, but he was a cousin of Jondalar's and had always been kind to her. She hated to see him with such an unsavoury lot.
She was about to turn away when she heard Wolf growl low in his throat. A voice spoke up loudly behind her back.
'Well, look what we have here! The animal lover, and a couple of animals.'
She spun around in surprise. A couple of animals, she thought, but I only have Wolf … it took her a moment before she realised that he had called Echozar an animal. She felt her anger rise.
'The only animal I see here is a wolf … or were you thinking of yourself?' Ayla countered.
There were a few guffaws from some who had heard the remarks and she saw the man frown. 'I wasn't saying I was an animal,' he said.
'That's good. I wouldn't put yourself in the same category as Wolf. You don't measure up,' she said.
Some of the other men pulled the brush aside to see what was going on. They saw Ayla holding her daughter on one hip, her leg in front of the wolf to restrain him, and Echozar holding a torch.
'She sneaked up and was watching us,' the man said defensively.
'I was walking along a main path and stopped to see who was making all the noise,' Ayla said.
'Who is she? And why does she talk so funny?' asked a young man Ayla didn't know. Then he added with surprise, 'That's a wolf!' Ayla had all but forgotten about her 'accent' and so had most of the people who knew her, but occasionally a stranger brought it to her attention. From the pattern on the man's shirt, and the design of the necklace he wore, she guessed he was from a Cave that lived on another river to the north, a group that did not regularly attend their Summer Meeting. He must have arrived only recently.
'She's Ayla of the Ninth Cave, the one Jondalar brought back with him,' Madroman said.
'And she's a Zelandoni who can control animals,' another man said. Ayla thought he was from their neighbour, the Fourteenth Cave.
'She's not Zelandoni,' Madroman said with an air of condescension. 'She's an Acolyte, still in training.'
He had obviously not yet seen her new tattoo, Ayla thought.
'But when she came, she could already control that wolf and a couple of horses,' the man from the Fourteenth Cave said.
'I told you she was an animal lover,' the first man said with a sneer, looking pointedly at Echozar.
Echozar glared back, and moved toward Ayla protectively. This was a large group of men, and they had been drinking Laramar's brew. It had b
een known to bring out the worst in people.
'You mean like those horses from that Cave camped upstream?' the stranger said. 'That's the first place I was taken when I got here. She's the one who controls them? I thought it was that man and the girl.'
'Grey is my horse,' Jonayla spoke up.
'They're all the same hearth,' Brukeval said, strolling into the firelight.
Ayla glanced from Brukeval to Echozar, and saw their similarity immediately. Brukeval was clearly a modified version of Echozar, though neither of them was fully Clan.
'I think you should let Ayla get on her way,' Brukeval continued. 'And I think it might be smart to have our parties a little farther off the main path in the future.'
'Yes, I think that is a good idea,' said another voice that had suddenly appeared. Joharran, accompanied by some other men, stepped into the light of the torch held by Echozar. Several of them had unlit torches, which they immediately lit from Echozar's, showing how many there were. 'We heard you, and came to see what was going on. There are plenty of places to have drinking parties, Laramar. I don't think you men need to be bothering people who are walking along main paths between camps. Perhaps you should move your party now. We don't need children stumbling over you in the morning.'
'He can't tell us where to go,' a slurred voice called out.
'That's right, he can't tell us where to go,' said the first man who had seen Ayla.
'It's all right,' Laramar said, picking up several of the small drinking bags that had not been unstoppered, and putting them in a backframe, 'I'd rather find a place where we won't be bothered.'
Brukeval began to help him. He glanced up at Ayla and caught her eye. She smiled at him with gratitude for taking her part and suggesting they move. He smiled back with a lingering expression that puzzled her, then frowned and looked away. She put Jonayla down and knelt to restrain Wolf while the men moved off.