Mrs. Finney hated it. Cassiopeia told Savannah it made her look fat, which caused Emurial to tear up and walk away for a bit of fresh air. That was enough. Savannah turned to Mrs. Finney and said, “This is the dress I want and the dress I am going to buy.”
“Dear, you can’t be serious. That dress is dreadful, and is unflattering to your figure,” she said as she eyed the dresses on the rack.
Savannah didn’t know where it came from or what made her say it, but the words rolled out her mouth. “Not that it really matters, but your son has no idea what to do with my figure or anything else with my body.”
Mrs. Finney’s breath caught. Cassiopeia opened her mouth to spout something venomous, but Savannah held up her hand. “And unless you are planning to pay for this dress or anything else, your two cents is also unneeded. Quite honestly, you could have kept your ass at home. This was a time for me and my mother. I allowed you to tag along as a courtesy to my fiancé, but upsetting my mother is not acceptable.”
Emurial had just walked back in on the tail end of what Savannah had said. Her eyes were wide as Mrs. Finney got indignant. “Savannah sweetie, why are you being rude? You should watch your tone. They were only trying to be helpful.”
Savannah twirled in the mirror to take another look at the dress. “Helpful to whom, Mother ... Satan? I have simply reached my limit of being treated like a child. It is my wedding, it is my dress and I,” she turned in the gown, “Am going to wear what I think makes me look beautiful.”
Her mother smiled at her with new respect when she asked, “So, Mother, what do you think?”
“I think you look stunning, sweetheart,” she said as she touched the delicate lace across the shoulders.
Savannah told the shop girl that she would take the dress. It was on sale for $900, which left her with more than enough to do some other things for the wedding. The shop attendant inquired about veils and Savannah admitted she would make her own, as she paid for the dress.
Mrs. Finney was furious. “When my son hears about this....” was all she was able to muster, when Savannah turned and handed her the iPhone.
“Call him.” She hit the speed dial and the phone began to ring. “He will care as much about this incident as he does about what I am making on Tuesday for dinner.” When Mrs. Finney refused the phone, Savannah took it instead, using the speaker function.
“Hello, Darling,” Darwin said into the phone. “Have you found the perfect dress?”
“I have my love, it is so beautiful. It is too bad you are going to have to wait until February to see me in it.” She paused for a moment and then continued, “I have to warn you though, your Mother and sister hate it.” She eyed the two ladies who were now sulking.
His laughter rang through the shop. “Those two hate everything, unless they personally hand pick an item.”
Savannah laughed along with him. “I came in well under budget too. I can use the rest for some other items for the wedding.”
“That’s my girl,” Darwin said as he told her he loved her before hanging up. Savannah turned to her future mother-in-law and said, “My mother and I plan on seeing an off Broadway show, then we’re going to grab some dinner at B. Smith’s. You are more than welcome to join us or feel free to do your own thing.”
They opted to do their own thing, which pleased Savannah to no end. Emurial looked at her daughter. “What has gotten into you? I love this newfound confidence.”
Savannah loved it too. It felt good to speak her mind. She wanted to be honest and tell her just exactly what was getting into her every Thursday night, but that would just be tacky. She opted instead for a moment of honesty. “Mother, I am 29 years old. I have spent the past twelve years staring down at a text book or a test tube.” She applied some lip gloss, and then let down her hair.
“I am not about to let two women who have lived empty lives dictate to me how I am going to live mine.” Her mother’s eyes widened as Savannah shook out her hair. “I am brilliant. I am sexy. You can bounce quarters off this ass and my beautiful breasts are real.” She winked at her mom and said, “Thank you for these and really good genes,” as she jiggled her C-cups. “I feel alive!” She looped her arm through her mother’s and headed out the door. She pointed at the soon to be in-laws who were climbing into a cab. “That is not my life and it will never be.”
Emurial hugged her daughter. When she learned of the engagement, she prayed a silent prayer asking God to watch over her daughter, who was marrying well, but marrying safe. There were many benefits to living safely, but happiness was seldom included in the package.
Savannah opened her arms wide, staring up at the skyscrapers and twirling in the middle of the crowded sidewalk. “Let’s go spend some money, Mother.” Emurial watched her daughter saunter down the street with a sway in her hips and a sashay in her step.
This was not good.
Emurial recognized the signs, but kept quiet. The only question that popped into her head was why Savannah had spent a thousand dollars on a dress that would never make it down the aisle.
Chapter Thirteen
Savannah arrived home on Thursday morning, excited for the remainder of her day. She unpacked, washed, and put away the items from New York, which included a tee shirt for Jesse and a collector’s pin for the new cap she had purchased for him. She placed those items in the downstairs closet.
She had also purchased a coffee mug for Darwin’s desk and a snow globe that would be perfect for his home office. Around 2:30 she headed toward the grocer’s to purchase items for the meatloaf dinner. She started making dinner at 4:30, taking extra care with the mashed potatoes. The doorbell rang at 5:45, surprising Savannah. Jesse was early. She opened the door and found Darwin standing there.
“What a surprise!” she exclaimed as she let him inside. She had to get to her phone to send Jesse a text. Darwin held her in his arms and kissed her with a newfound passion. He smiled as she kissed him back. “I guess you must have missed me.”
Darwin was extremely affectionate tonight. He asked a million questions about the trip and the dress, and chatted about how angry his mother was, especially the part about him not knowing her body. The air became impenetrable with unsaid words that could change their future. “Darwin, I was just ...” He rose so suddenly that Savannah felt threatened.
“Savannah, I know I am not the best lover, but I am willing to learn how to please you and be better.” Savannah was at a loss for words. The tension that filled her only worsened when she heard the knock at the door. Thank heavens she had locked it when she let Darwin in. It was normally left unlocked for Jesse.
Oh crap, the potatoes were boiling over. As she ran to the stove to turn down the eye, she looked back, realizing that Darwin had gone to answer the door. She heard Jesse’s voice and the two men were talking. She didn’t know what to do, so she started making the mashed potatoes. Jesse would leave, she would send Darwin home, and have Toolboy come back later. Simple enough.
It wasn’t.
Savannah turned to see her fiancé and her lover both standing in her kitchen, staring at her.
“Darling,” Darwin asked. “Were you expecting the maintenance man?”
Jesse held up a tube when he made eye contact with her. “Yes. Jesse, are those the plans for the captain’s bed?” She was impressed with how calmly she stated the words.
“Yes, Dr. Niden. I have the plans and two separate budgets for the bed. If it is not a good time, I can come back another day.” He used her formal name and title. Damn, that turned her on. Maybe next time she would wear her lab coat and have him call her doctor as he spanked her ass with those rough, calloused hands. Focus, Savannah. She had not heard the familiar clank of the toolbox by the door and felt a minute of relief. It was brief.
Darwin interjected. “We are about to have dinner. Would you like to join us? I also would like to hear more about this bed project.”
Both Savannah and Darwin looked at Jesse. Savannah smiled and waited for Jesse�
�s refusal but instead Jesse opened the container with the plans. “I would love to stay. Dinner smells delicious. Is that meatloaf?”
Darwin frowned. “Meatloaf?”
Jesse eyed him curiously, asking if he disapproved. Darwin, rolling in his pretentiousness, said the meal was so common, further insulting them both by adding that his fiancé enjoyed comfort foods. “That of course will have to cease once we are married and she starts to bear our children.”
Jesse’s eyes never left Savannah, who inhaled deeply. “Can I help you with dinner Dr. Niden? Maybe set the table or something?” Jesse asked.
“No, I have it.” She went back to work making the mashed potatoes. Darwin began to bombard Jesse with questions about how he and Savannah knew each other and how this bed project came about. Jesse sat at the counter in the kitchen and stated that he had met her at Lowe’s in the millworks department.
The next two hours proved very interesting for Savannah. Not only did she learn a great deal about Jesse–and Darwin—she learned a great deal about what she valued in a man. Darwin was suspicious by nature and relied heavily upon status. His opinion of Jesse changed when he found that Jesse was an engineer who also held an MBA from the University of Alabama. Jesse’s family was a legacy builder with the Crimson Tide. He explained that both of his parents were graduates as well as his grandfather, his grandfather’s father, and his grandfather’s grandfather.
Halfway through dinner, Darwin noticed Jesse’s polo shirt and began to blitz him with questions about Montgomery Construction. Jesse said he had worked for the company off and on during the summers in both high school and college and now served as a project manager for Savannah’s building complex and one other in Bessemer. Darwin was condescending when he told Savannah that Montgomery had built the complex in which she resided, with each unit custom tailored to the condo owner. He added another insult to her by blurting out that her unit was one of the low-end models with few frills.
“I am not sure if you are going to be able to sell this at decent price. If you do find a buyer, you really can’t count on much of a profit.” Savannah continued eating, trying desperately to make the meatloaf go down her throat.
Darwin only pushed the food around on his plate and declined to drink the Kool-Aid. Jesse complimented the food, telling her she was a great cook and thanking her for sharing their meal with him. Darwin went on and on about Montgomery Construction. He hinted that his company was bidding on the new project coming up in Riverchase. The ground had been broken, but the firm and project manager for the designs had yet to be selected.
“I would love to be the project manager for that site. It would mean a lot of long and late hours, Savannah, but it would be a feather in my cap and could put us on easy street.”
Jesse began to ask Darwin questions, starting with his name. The fiancé joked about his sister’s name as well, confiding their mother was a former English teacher who prided herself on being a learned woman. Next, Jesse asked about other projects Darwin had designed. Last, he asked about his familiarity with the condo models that Montgomery constructed.
Darwin piped up like a little chick, telling Savannah, “Of course, since each condo is custom, the architect is needed on site to make modifications to each unit.”
Savannah watched Jesse as he assessed Darwin. She watched Darwin assess Jesse. This was surreal. The two men in her life were literally as different as night and day. A fleeting thought crossed her mind that if she could just combine the two, she would have the perfect partner.
Jesse helped clear the table as Darwin sat and watched the interaction between the two of them. Both men declined dessert, which led them right into the plans for the captain’s bed. Darwin was unclear on why it needed to be constructed since she would be moving in with him in a few months. Jesse’s jaw clenched and his face twitched. It was so brief that if had she not been looking at him, she would have missed it. He didn’t utter a word as he walked her through the plans for the bed, explaining that cost would shift based on the type of wood and finish she wanted.
“Why don’t I just take you shopping and buy you a bed for the guest room Savannah?” Darwin asked with some frustration when he looked at the complexity of the project. It also troubled him that Jesse would be here with his woman helping to build it.
She had said very little the whole evening. She looked at her fiancé. “I want to learn how to do this Darwin. I take pride in things that I create and I want to make this. It means a great deal to me.”
Darwin slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her temple. “If it means that much to you, then of course, Darling, whatever you want.”
Jesse had seen enough. “It’s getting late; I have an early morning. Again, thank you for dinner.” He extended his hand to Darwin and told him it was a pleasure meeting him. Jesse just wanted to get out of the small space that seemed to be consuming all of his oxygen.
“Wait, Jesse,” Savannah said as she went to the kitchen and sliced several pieces of meatloaf and put them into a reusable container. “I cooked way too much and as you can see, Darwin is not a fan of my meatloaf.”
With a quick nod of his head, he replied, “If you have any problems with the plans just let me know, but you should be able to do most of it by yourself.”
Darwin breathed a sigh of relief as Jesse gave a nod and was gone. It would be futile to tell her not to be around the man, since Darwin knew that doing so would only make her gravitate toward him. “He’s a nice guy,” Darwin added. “How long have you been seeing him?”
Savannah’s eyebrows went up. “What do you mean?”
Darwin smiled a sheepish grin. “I mean, my Darling, you obviously have spent some time together formulating this idea. I asked how long you two have been hanging out.”
“It has only been a few weeks. We met and discussed the project. I ran into him in the parking lot, then again at Lowe’s where I told him my about my idea. We created a sketch last week and here we are.” Savannah kissed Darwin on the forehead and inquired if he was planning to stay the night.
He did not.
He left soon after. Jesse did not come back either.
Chapter Fourteen
June
Two weeks passed and she had not seen or heard from Jesse. Darwin had gone with her to Lowe’s to buy the supplies, helping her select quality pieces of wood. He helped with the selection of hardware and discussed finishing options with her. He even purchased her a sander, a power drill, and girly tool belt. Darwin made two more surprise visits, seeming stunned to not find Jesse at her home helping with the construction of the bed.
She missed him. She wanted to see him and needed to be with him. The phone seemed to magically appear in her hand. Damned traitor! He answered on the third ring, “Hello.”
“I miss you,” she whispered.
“Really?”
“I want to see you.”
The line was quiet. She fidgeted, but continued, “What have you been doing?”
“Working on a few things.” Jesse said no more.
Savannah understood. “Okay. I was just checking on you. I’ll let you get back to work.”
The line was quiet and she heard him exhale, “Savannah?”
“Yes, Jesse?”
“I miss the hell out of you too,” he told her.
“Tomorrow is Thursday.”
“I will be there at 6,” he said and then hung up.
Darwin called on Thursday morning. He was excited. He told Savannah he had a meeting that evening with the team from Montgomery Construction. A wayward strand that filtered from a random thought danced across her mind as she wondered if Jesse had anything to do with this meeting. She dismissed it as silly, and coincidental, and she prepared for her evening.
“She lit candles in the living room, put a light scent on her thighs, and dabbed a bit of the perfume between her breasts.” Jesse arrived at 6:00. He was wearing black slacks with a shirt and tie and dress shoes. He looked so handsome.
Jesse sat on the side of the bed and gathered her in his arms. “Don’t cry, Science Girl,” he told her as he gently rocked her. “Savannah, I don’t know what you want from me. Am I your diversion until your marriage or do I mean something to you? If you just wanted sex then I gave that to you, but this is getting complicated.”
Her body shuddered with tears as Jesse held her close. “My Lovely, I don’t know what to do. I am not that kind of man, but you make me feel and want things that I don’t have any right or claim to. I want to come home to you and lie down next to you each night then wake up next to you every morning. You are not mine and I believe I am hoping for something that will probably never happen. I can’t do this, it has to stop.”
She wiped her eyes and stared up at him. “Do what your heart tells you to do, Jesse.”
“But I don’t want my heart broken.” He kissed her lightly. “This is scaring me and if I get out now, I think that I can save myself.”
Savannah wasn’t ready to let him leave her life, her bed, or her heart. It was selfish and she knew it, but Jesse was her private oasis. He quenched a thirst in her that she did not know she had and right now she needed more. She needed him.
“It’s too late,” she told him as she unbuttoned his shirt and loosened his belt buckle. “If we are to drown, then we do it together.” She kissed him with a ferocity that ignited his passion. “If you give to me, I will give back.”
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