Eligible Receiver: A First Time Gay Romance (Bareback University)

by Angel Lovecox

  “Isaiah,” Carter said gently. “I was wrong. I didn't mean to upset you.”

  “I was as bad,” Isaiah shook his head. “I hurt you, too.”

  “You did,” Carter said, throat stiff with unshed tears. “But I know you didn't mean that.”

  Isaiah sighed. “Well, I'm lucky then. See you after the game?”

  Carter stared at him. “Yes.”

  They both laughed.

  The game resumed shortly after that. Isaiah jogged to join the team as they got ready to go on again. Carter headed to Mike.

  Mike was looking up at him with a huge grin.

  “Well,” he said, smiling. “That did something.”

  Carter flushed pinkly. “Thanks.”

  “I will be interested,” Mike said, as Carter sat down beside him, still feeling as if he was floating, “to see how the rest of the game turns out.”

  They didn't say any more about it, which made him feel more comfortable. But all the same, Carter felt a strange flame of wonder in his heart...not only because his brother had completely accepted him without a question—he always had—but because the whole crowd had seemingly done so, which was infinitely more surprising.

  The game resumed and the second half could not have been more different. Isaiah played like a man renewed. Carter, seeing it, could not quite believe it. He had suspected Isaiah was sad. But now he knew that. He watched, amazed, as Isaiah took possession of the place, the way he did before.

  Had he really been so affected by me?

  When he kicked the ball to save a desperate moment in the game, he cheered. When he passed the ball past the toughest block, he leaped up from his seat. When he outran a defender and got the ball to his team-mate, who scored a touchdown, he yelled.

  The end score was sixty-one to fifty-five. Their team won.

  “Hurray!”

  He leaped out of his seat, cheering and singing with the rest. Next to him, Mike was shouting himself hoarse. The atmosphere was electric.

  Carter noticed that some people looked his way...some pleased, some smiling, some jealous. He didn't care. He was happy. He was in love. The world and life were great.

  He and Mike left the game slowly, walking cautiously through the chaos of people.

  They reached the gate and at the last minute, he turned to Mike.

  “I should go and see Isaiah,” he said.

  “Of course,” Mike beamed. “Here we go.”

  They turned down the same corridor as before, only this time it could not be more changed. For a start, they could hear the sounds of celebrating coming from the club before they even saw it. The guards let them through, grinning happily. Carter could not have felt more proud.

  Not only does he love me, he thought bemusedly, everyone accepts me.

  It was the strangest feeling.

  He and Mike drifted into the club room and stood with the same crowd as before—reporters, staff, girls—only things were so different. The crowd was louder, for a start, everyone shouting and talking and celebrating.

  They also all knew him.

  “Hi,” a reporter said. Carter greeted him nervously, but slipped away after a few exchanged sentences, feeling shy.

  “It's great to see you here,” a girl said. She seemed familiar and Carter smiled at her. “I am so proud of you both. Coming out here!” she shook her head, amazed.

  Carter beamed. “I didn't plan it,” he admitted shyly.

  “Even so!” the girl shook her head speechlessly. “It's so awesome.”

  Carter swallowed hard. It was probably the first time someone had called him awesome. And he didn't feel as if he had done anything particularly special.

  All you did was love. And trust that love.

  As he thought about it, he realized that, perhaps, that was quite special after all.

  It certainly felt like that.

  “Carter?”

  Then he had no chance to think anything else. The MVP had arrived. Isaiah. And he was looking straight at him.

  The reporters swarmed around the team, recording comments, snapping photos, asking questions. But Isaiah walked straight to Carter.

  “Congratulations,” Carter beamed.

  “Thanks.”

  They embraced.

  In the room, everyone sighed. One or two people let out a whoop. Carter swallowed hard.

  He and Isaiah seemed universally accepted. But what about the team? Alex? The coach?

  He stood there uncertainly, grinning at Isaiah, who grinned back.

  “Can I get you a drink?”

  Someone talked to both of them. They turned around.

  Alex was there, looking decidedly stumped.

  “Drink?” Isaiah asked. He sounded hesitant, not angry.

  “Yeah,” Alex said shamefacedly. “I...guys, I wanted to say sorry. Look, it's different. I didn't think you were...you know,” he raised his shoulders apologetically. “If I had, I would never have said that. I respect what you did,” he added to both of them. “Coming out like that...not easy.”

  Isaiah grinned at him. “Hey, man.” He took his hand and then clasped his shoulder. “Thanks.”

  Alex grinned. “No thanks needed.” he looked quite touched. He shook hands with Carter, who smiled.

  “I'm sorry,” Alex said.

  “Not at all,” Carter replied generously.

  “Two beers?”

  Isaiah looked to Carter, who nodded agreement. A beer would be nice.

  “Thanks,” Isaiah said. Alex went off.

  Isaiah and Carter stared at each other.

  “Wow,” Isaiah said.

  “Agreed.”

  They sighed.

  “Love's pretty awesome,” Isaiah said after a moment.

  Carter felt his chest ache. Love? Isaiah had said that? That he loved him? He felt his eyes burn and looked at the ceiling a moment, not wanting to cry.

  “It is,” was all he said. “It is.”

  The party wore on, drinks all around. Isaiah and Carter looked at each other, drinks in hand. They both knew they didn't intend staying long...the party was going to be much better somewhere alone.

  15

  The trip to Isaiah's downtown apartment was somewhat of a blur. They arrived and Carter walked up the steps beside him. He felt strangely tense.

  “This is it.”

  Carter smiled at Isaiah. He sounded tense, too. That touched Carter deeply. Here they were, at what was easily the most stylish apartment building Carter ever saw, and Isaiah was wanting him to approve of it? He smiled.

  “It's awesome.”

  Isaiah cleared his throat. “Really? I mean, I'm glad you like it.”

  They looked at each other and grinned. Carter felt that look fizz through him, charging his longing.

  “Shall we go inside?” Isiah said.

  “Yes.”

  They walked up the slate-dark steps, past a doorman and on up to the elevator. Isaiah took them to the eighth floor and they went up smoothly, alighting on the other side in too little time. Still. They kissed twice in the elevator, Isaiah's body pressed against Carter's with fervent longing that made Carter ache.

  “Here we are.”

  This was so not what I expected, Carter thought hazily. He had intended to see Isaiah, perhaps talk to him a little, just to find out if there was any chance of them being together still. And now, here they were. In Isaiah's apartment building, after a party, going upstairs.

  They reached the black wooden door. Isaiah found the key and let them in. His hand seemed to be unsteady unlocking it, but Carter was sure he was just referring his own feeling to Isaiah. He himself was shivering all over.

  They kissed. Leaning on the door, Isaiah's body pressed hard to him, Carter had no idea what the apartment looked like yet. All he knew was that Isaiah was here and they were kissing.

  Isaiah's tongue was slow and tender, exploring his mouth. He tasted like mint and the warmth and sweetness of his mouth excited Carter. He felt his loins begin to ache.


  They broke the kiss, gasping, a minute later.

  “In the bedroom?” Isaiah whispered.

  “Good idea.”

  They went toward a door across from the living-room. The lighting was low and Carter could not really see much of it other than that the color-scheme was dark gray and white and that the furniture was modern and stylish. He approved wholeheartedly.

  The bedroom, when they reached it, was a wide, airy white-painted room. It was dominated by a double bed, the coverlet stark white against the black wood of the bed frame and headboard.

  “Nice,” Carter whispered. It was beautiful. Elegant, understated and right. He already felt at home, even though he had just arrived. They looked at one another.

  “I'm glad you like it,” Isaiah whispered. His voice was raw and deeply sexy. Carter thought he might actually stop breathing. He leaned against him and they kissed.

  Isaiah was moving his shirt, gently tugging it off. Carter grinned.

  “I can help with that.”

  He shrugged out of it and Isaiah looked at him, his eyes warm.

  “Your turn.” Carter lifted his shirt, and Isaiah laughed.

  “Here we go.”

  He shrugged out of the shirt and they collapsed on the bed together. Their lips found each other’s, and they kissed. Passionate and slow, the kiss moved Carter almost as much as the gentle trace of hands on his back, stroking him.

  The feeling of lying here together was wonderful. It was the most comfortable, most lovely thing in Carter's memory. He slid sideways a little, feeling his skin slide on Isaiah's. He smelled warm, freshly showered. It was a lovely smell.

  Carter gently kissed his shoulder, feeling his body become aroused. He slid against Isaiah again, giggling uncertainly as Isaiah caressed his back.

  “It's good to have you here,” Isaiah whispered.

  “It's good to be here.”

  This time, Isaiah reached down to his waist, his fingers trailing there, moving lower. Carter held his breath, not quite believing where this was going, but liking it very much. When Isaiah's hand caressed him, he tensed.

  He closed his eyes, lying under that touch until he could not bear it without crying aloud. He gasped and, when Isaiah chuckled, he reached across and down, seeking his cock with his own sweat-smooth hand.

  Hardly believing his boldness, he lifted the member between finger and thumb, amazed at the fact that he just encircled it. He made a fist around it, squeezing firmly, imitating the hand-movements he could feel at his own loins.

  Isaiah gasped, letting out a slow laugh.

  “Ahh… that's good.”

  Carter beamed. He moved his hand back and forth, squeezing gently, making little circles around the smooth, moist tip.

  Isaiah gasped. Carter felt him shudder.

  “Oh, God!” He chuckled. “I'm gonna come...”

  Carter felt his body ignite with that admission. He smiled and moved his hand with abandon, squeezing and pressing and squeezing and circling even as his own body strained and lurched and throbbed.

  “Ahhhhhhh...”

  He felt the waves start to build and crest inside him, lifting him higher and higher even as he drowned in a wash of sensation so strong he thought he might be dead.

  He dimly heard Isaiah cry out beside him and felt a sudden wetness on his hand.

  They lay together for a long while, each recovering from the place they had gone. Then, after a moment that neither of them could have set a time to, Carter rolled sideways. Isaiah moved at almost the same time, and they looked into one another's eyes. They kissed.

  Later, arousal moved through them again and they tried something new, lying together as Isaiah gently entered him.

  Carter felt himself transported back to that white realm of sensation, crying out in Isaiah's powerful arms.

  They lay together a long while. Carter drowsed and woke. Isaiah seemed half-asleep himself. They lay together, stroking hands and soft voices, talking in the quiet of the building.

  “...and I can't quite believe we're together again.”

  Isaiah chuckled. “That makes two of us.”

  They both laughed.

  “I am so, so pleased that we are.”

  “Me too.”

  They kissed.

  As they lay there side by side, Carter stroked Isaiah's strong arm and kneaded the shoulder experimentally. Isaiah sighed appreciatively and they were quiet a while, so Carter could work some tension out of his tight muscles.

  “You know,” Carter said quietly. “It's weird, but it feels like I've been here always.”

  Isaiah nodded. “I know.”

  They were silent a while, each contemplating how simple and right it felt, being together again.

  “I wish I could stay here,” Carter said after a while.

  “You can.”

  Carter smiled. Those two words made his heart ache fit to bust. “Thank you,” he said gently. “But I don't know if we really can. Could we?”

  Isaiah turned to face him. “I don't know what would stop us.”

  Carter chuckled. “It's not that...I'm not saying I care what people think. Everyone is happy for us, and even if they weren't well...I think I would still want this.”

  Isaiah chuckled. “Me too!”

  They both laughed.

  They lay still for a while, both lost in thought. Isaiah's hand stroked Carter, making him shiver. He felt his arousal return and he shook his head, amazed by it.

  “I wish I could stay here,” he said, returning to their early conversation, even as his hand stroked Isaiah's chest in a way that made them both ache, “but I can't.”

  “Why not?” Isaiah propped himself on one arm, dark eyes worried. He looked down at Carter, utter confusion and care mixed.

  “Well, it's not that I don't want to, or that anyone would disapprove. But it's just that...well...I'm still at school. I want to do my graduate studies next year. Always assuming I do well now.”

  Isaiah chuckled. “Of course you will. You're really smart. If you don't, I don't think anyone does.”

  Carter smiled, feeling his heart ache with that statement. “Thanks. For believing in me.”

  “I know you're good,” Isaiah said firmly. “And so...I understand you can't move in here...into this apartment. But what if we found another one?”

  “I...we...another one? Isaiah! What...”

  Isaiah chuckled. “It's not like I'm part of the furniture. I could move outta here. Find something different. Closer to where you need to be.”

  “But Isaiah!” Carter protested, feeling deeply moved but not able to let Isaiah even think of doing such a rash thing, “this place is beautiful! And you can't just move. Not for me.”

  “I wouldn't be moving for you,” Isaiah said gruffly. “It'd be for me.”

  They looked into each other’s eyes. They kissed.

  Carter felt a tear run down his nose and cuffed at it crossly. He shouldn't be crying. Not now, not after all these good things had happened!

  But he was more touched than he had ever been. Isaiah had offered to move for him. He valued him. He wanted him to be part of his life. It was an amazing thing to say. An amazing thing to feel.

  “Isaiah,” he whispered, his voice choked in his throat. “I love you.”

  Isaiah looked down at him. He smiled. Kissed his brow.

  “I love you too, Carter.”

  Carter swallowed hard. He didn't know what to say. He didn't say anything. He wrapped his arms around Isaiah and they kissed again.

  Later, they lay beside each other, perspiration cooling on their skin, desire sated in each other’s arms. Carter looked up at the ceiling and felt that he had never been so happy.

  He glanced across at Isaiah. He looked happy too.

  They lay together, both completely content. The future was before them, and it held such an ocean of happiness that Carter wasn't sure how to handle it...but he knew that they would find a way: boldly and together.

  I
ntroduction

  Nathan has it all—at least that’s what he thought. He’s worked his ass off his whole life to build an enviable career as an investment banker, and now he’s finally been given the big-time promotion he’s been coveting since he moved to NYC. But when he doesn’t have a single soul to call on to share in his big news, Nathan starts to wonder if his priorities need reorganizing.

  Determined to set things right and actually start living his life—tonight—Nathan wanders into a hot and steamy nightclub and discovers that the list of things he’s been missing out on is much longer than he ever could have imagined…

  1

  “I love you, Nathan. I really do. But I can’t be your secret anymore. I love you to the moon and back, but...”

  “But you can’t be with me, right?” I interrupted him in between and finished his sentence. I knew that our love had just died a tragic death, but we were both hesitant to say it out loud.

  As our lips met one last time, I closed my eyes and soaked up his presence. I inhaled his essence and re-lived the last six months that we had spent together in that single moment. His warmth made my heart melt, but I knew that I had to rip the bandage off clean. Even though it was hurting me and making my heart shatter into a trillion pieces; even though I knew that I would regret it for the rest of my life, I knew that I had to set him free. It was the right thing to do.

  The moment we parted lips, I knew that it was our farewell. I could taste his presence lingering in my mouth, and it began to taste like poison. Jake was like a drug that I needed to survive, and the thought of living my life without him devastated me at my core.

  “This is it, Nathan. I hope you find whatever it is that you’re searching for.” Those were Jake’s last words before he turned and walked swiftly away. I stood there and watched longingly as he departed, trying to memorize the way my face had been reflected in his haunting hazel eyes. I kept my eyes on him until his silhouette completely disappeared. He was gone.

  I wanted to scream his name to bring him back, but my mouth was sealed firmly shut. I could feel my lungs collapsing and my heart beginning to rupture as the prospect of living in a world without Jake started to settle in.