At first I was furious that he called me. How dare he call me and lie to me? He had no idea that I knew why he just moved here. He wasn’t tricking anyone especially not me.
Then as I pulled into the parking lot of the building I started to feel bad for him. He did move here for me. I could just be friend’s with him. I could tell him I knew everything and I could tell him that I wanted him to move on and meet another soul. I wasn’t the only soul out there. I’m not the one he is meant to be with in this life. He would understand, he had to if he really loved me. That settled it, that is what I would do.
I walked an office that smelled like jasmine, which was really odd to me. The receptionist was very pleasant looking and that made me feel comfortable. I signed in and she asked me to fill out some paperwork. I was very nervous and I think it showed because the receptionist kept smiling at me as if to calm me down and make me feel comfortable. I glanced at the wall and saw a picture of a woman in a business suit. She looked very nice and she was gorgeous. Underneath the picture was the name of my shrink, Charlie Beamer. My shrink was a girl and she had a guy’s name. I was a little thrown off by this but not upset. A female doctor was just as good as a man.
At that moment my name was called and it was time to finally meet this Dr. Beamer and tell her all of my secrets. I walked into her fabulous office and sat down in a very comfy leather chair. Her office was decorated with various candles, all of which were burning, and the lavender color was very calming. I’m sure this was an intentional decorating tactic to calm her patients. The smell of jasmine was very strong in here and it sort of bothered my nose. She came into the room through a side door and then sat in front of me. She was very pretty and her golden blonde hair was pulled up halfway while the rest just grazed her shoulders. She was dressed professionally, yet not too business-like. She held out her hand for me to shake as she introduced herself as Dr. Beamer. I took her hand and nodded without saying anything back. She took out a black folder and started writing in it right away.
“Well Avery tell me a little about yourself so I can get to know you. Then we can talk about why you are here to see me. So go ahead and I will sit here and listen.”
“Well I’m twenty-six and single, for now. I work at an assisted living residence and I love my job. I love helping people and I feel like I’m doing well by working there. My mother died when I was twelve years old of a brain aneurism. I then moved in with my Aunt Paulina and stayed with her until I was nineteen. After that, I got a job at a restaurant in town and I moved into my own place. Then I decided to move here about four years ago from southern California and start fresh. I love it here and I wouldn’t move back for anything.” I stopped and wondered to myself if I had left anything out in my introduction stage. She kept writing and then looked up at me.
“Okay and why are you here to see me now?”
“Well you’re not the first psychologist that I have seen. I’ve needed to see a couple before, for different things. But much different than why I need to see you now. I have not been sleeping for about three months. I have seen my general physician for my problem and I have tried all his advice. Nothing seems to work. My aunt suggested that I see a shrink. Oh, sorry, you probably hate that term.” I felt bad for offending her.
“No don’t worry Avery you’re not the first to call me that,” she said with a laugh. I could tell that it did not offend her in any way, that she actually found it funny.
“Keep going your doing well. I want to hear more.”
“Ok, well some crazy things have been going on in my life lately. Things that are unexplainable and sound really nuts so please just keep and open mind,” I said.
Then I continued to tell Dr. Beamer about all the things I have heard and seen in the past three months. As I spoke she kept a very serious face all the while writing in her black folder. Never once looking at me as if I were making it all up or going crazy, which helped me talk and open up. I told her all about Landon and Ianni and about my past lives. I told her about my dead mother in my bathroom and about the mysterious light that I followed into the park. About Dallas and Kerri, how much they meant to me, how they were worried about me and wanted me to get better.
After my exhausting confession I felt so relieved that I just sat there and smiled. She finally stopped writing and looked in a book that sat at her side table and flipped to a page. She then wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to me.
“Avery, this is a number to a man named Justin White. He is a specialist with these things you are experiencing. I really think he can help you to see why these things are going on. He is really good at past lives.” I took the paper and tried to hide my puzzled expression.
“He is a psychic, isn’t he?” I asked, trying not to sound rude. I didn’t really want to see a psychic. If I had wanted to I wouldn’t have come here.
“Well, yes and he specializes in what you are going through. Avery, it is not uncommon for people to remember their past life or see an Angel. I hear it a lot from my patients. I did not learn this in college, but I believe in it. If I hadn’t gone through this myself I would have you committed for reasons of insanity, but Justin helped me and he is excellent. I know he can help you. I still want to see you and try to help you through this. I think both Justin and I can help you solve this problem, or at least deal with it. You are not alone and you are not crazy.”
When she said I wasn’t crazy it helped immensely and I felt better. At least for right now, at this moment. I did think it was odd for a professional like herself to go this route but I liked that she had an open mind about it. Also, like she said, she went through this herself. But then I began to wonder what her experience was like. Even more, was I the only one that didn’t know about past lives being a real thing? I mean, most people believe that you only have one try, but according to Dr. Beamer it’s a common thing in her practice.
“Now about your mother, you said she was a psychic?” She asked me.
“Yes, or at least she thought she was. Ianni confirmed this. I guess I never believed my mom. I just thought she was making it all up. It’s hard for a kid to believe in that I guess. I just wanted her to be normal like my friends mom’s. I did love her very much and she took good care of me as a child. She was all I had and she worked very hard to play the role of mom and dad.”
I started to cry and I didn’t know why. I hadn’t cried about mom in several years, but for some reason I felt very sad and I missed her. I wanted her to be here with me right now and help me sort things out. Dr. Beamer handed me a tissue and she closed her folder.
“Well Avery, our time has ended for today but I want you to follow up with Justin. Once you do I want to see you back here. I want to talk more about your father and have you tell me more about your mom and your past, okay? So if you need anything call the office. Oh, and I almost forgot, here is a sample herb to help you sleep its called Yulu.” She handed me a small package with a small purple mesh bag inside. I took the package and studied it carefully. “You make a tea with it, don’t eat it, ok?’
She stood up and shook my hand again. As she shook my hand I noticed a red feather floating in the room. I shrugged it off as nothing major and left her office. I walked to the reception area and her receptionist told me to call in two weeks for my next appointment. As I left I felt a little better. It felt refreshing to tell someone my secrets and have them understand. I had to admit it was a little odd for a doctor to open up about the things she did, but it was definitely an experience to remember.
The cool air was so clean as I walked outside and I still had two hours before I had to go to work. I pulled out my phone and called Aunt Paulina to tell her about my appointment. She was very happy to hear my voice and she wanted to see me so I told her to meet me in front of the library so we could chat. It only took her fifteen minutes to get there and she looked very pleased to see me. The one thing about my aunt was she always was happy to see me and always made me feel special. She sat next
to me on the bench in front of the library.
“So, did it go well?”
“Yes and I will go back in a couple weeks. It’s just such a nice day and I have some time before work, I wondered if you want to walk the trail in the park?” The park trail was only across the street from the library and it was a good trail with lots of trees and foliage. It always helped me see the beauty in nature. She grabbed my hand and lifted me off the bench.
“Let’s do it. And while we walk you can talk about your doctor. Only if you want to of course.”
“I’d rather we just walk and talk about something else Aunt Paul. I just want to enjoy my visit with you instead.”
I didn’t want to tell her about what was going on. She would not understand any of it and she would be more worried about me than she already was. I just wanted her to think positive thoughts. She seemed to not mind too much that I wanted to keep mum. As we walked she told me about how she is really enjoying her visit with Barb and how she spent too much money shopping the other day. I felt like I was bursting at the seams and I had to tell her about Dallas.
“I met someone, well I have known him awhile we just told each other how much we really like each other. I think there’s something real there. I can trust him and I like him a lot. His name is Dallas.” I was so happy to tell her that I almost shouted it out. She looked at me, smiled and did a little jump.
“Oh honey I’m so happy for you. I hope this will be the answer you are looking for. I know it has been hard for you in your life. You know, dealing with your mom’s loss has been difficult for both of us and I think that’s why you distance yourself with men. You are afraid of losing someone close to you again.”
She was so right! I guess I never saw it that way before, but it was true, I don’t want to lose anyone else. I lost my dad and my mom and I didn’t want to lose a boyfriend or potential husband. I didn’t want to lose Aunt Paul either.
As we walked the trail it was so peaceful and serene I found myself relaxing. The forest here was amazing and I just loved to walk when the weather was brisk and cool. We walked for a little while before we decided it was time to go back. It was now 9:30 and I had to leave for work. I didn’t want to say goodbye to her but I had to. She hugged me and told me to keep in touch and let her know how my progress was with the shrink. And Dallas. I promised her that I would take her to dinner the following week and we would talk about it more. I got into my car and headed to work dreadfully. On the way there I called Dallas to let him know I was ok. When he answered it sounded like he was sleeping, I felt so bad.
“Hi, it’s Avery. I hope I didn’t wake you.” I knew I did but I wanted him to know I felt bad.
“Oh, it’s ok. I kind of figured that sleep is not going to happen for me today. It all was worth it because I got to see you last night and today, a total bonus. When can I see you again? You’re all I can think about.”
It was so nice to hear this come from him after I just woke him up. It was clear to me that he was a patient man if he could go through the torture I have put him through and still be happy. I felt the same about him though I could not wait to see him again.
“Well I get off at ten so I can stop by your work tonight and see you.”
“Sounds great, but I do want to take you out for a real date. So when is your next day off?”
“I’m off on Friday. Are you available?”
“I’m off in the day but I have to go in at night. So how about a day trip somewhere? I was thinking a picnic at the Humboldt botanical garden. Would that be okay?”
Just the fact that he already thought about our date was incredibly romantic. I agreed that his plans sounded awesome, terrific and fabulous, without saying all that of course. When we hung up I felt like I could accomplish anything and I felt for the first time like a weight had been lifted. I couldn’t wait to see him tonight and get to know more about him. Learning about him was really intriguing since I didn’t know too many details. Then my thoughts turned to Landon and whether I was going to call him today to talk to him. I decided I would make him wait and I would call him tomorrow.
I got to work and went straight into Kerri’s office. Instantly she asked me what happened with Dallas the night before. I told her all about it and she sat and listened like a teenage girl who was excited for her best friend. I also told her that I had, in fact, called Landon and he returned my call. I just felt it best to leave out the details of the relationship and Ianni’s little visit last night. She told me how happy she was for me and that she only wanted to see me happy. I knew that she would be happy for me and she felt bad for the night before.
“So that is why Dallas got mad last night when I mentioned that you met a guy,” she said. I totally forgot about that incident and I wondered if Dallas was worried that I would pursue the “other guy”.
“I guess,” was all I could say to her. I was pretty certain that was why he got mad and I remember not liking that side of him. He seemed really mad and jealous of Landon and he didn’t even know the details. What would he do if he knew he was my soul mate in three past lives and he was here to be with me again? I tried to shake the thought out of my head and I left her office to do my daily rounds. It seemed like Mr. Grey was adjusting alright. He was sitting in the courtyard talking with a couple of the other residents, Mr. Lucas and Mrs. Oberman. It was nice to see him talking since he was such a shy man. He waved to me and I waved back hoping he was having a nice conversation. At that moment I saw a huge gust of blue feathers blow through the courtyard. I looked to see where they were coming from and I saw a shadowy figure walk into Mr. Grey’s apartment.
Chapter 6
Lillith
I slowly walked into his apartment, looking around to see if anyone had noticed the flood of feathers flying around. It seemed as though I was the only one. When I entered the apartment at first I saw nothing but then I saw the shadow go into his bedroom. I followed it down the hall and into the room. There she stood with the feathers flying around the room, just like they had when Ianni was in my room. She was not as pretty as Ianni but still pretty in her own way. She was taller and her hair was very black. Her blue wings were flapping wildly and it made me step back. She looked mean and scary, like an Angel that was not very heavenly.
“Do you know who I am Avery?” She asked me. Her voice was deep and scratchy like she smoked or did a lot of yelling.
“No, but I know you’re a Spirit Guide. Are you Mr. Grey’s?” That was all I could think of. Why else would she be in his apartment? Then her wings stopped flapping and the scary look faded and she smiled. She looked a lot prettier when she smiled and I was less intimidated. Yet my hands still shook and I felt my heart beat faster.
“No my sweet I am not his Guide. My name is Lillith, I belong to Landon. I just wanted to visit you and tell you how important it is that you two reunite again. He longs to be with you and he is sick without you. He has searched long and far for you. He found you, indeed with my help, and the help of his cousin who knows you. I searched for you and found you here with Lucy. She was mine as well, but you know this don’t you? You were visited by Ianni, she means well but she can’t stop the love that you two have. She hasn’t ever stopped it before. Poor thing, she broke the rules to visit you and now she bears silver wings. Ah, those white pure wings will be missed.”
“What are you talking about? What are white pure wings?’
“Well, we are given white wings when we are made. It is a sign of purity and we have rules to abide by. One being to not meddle in the lives of our spirit’s that we follow. We are only allowed to show you signs. If we don’t follow the rules our wings change colors and we are not “pure” any longer. Well, for years she has never spoken to you she just gave you signs and visited your dreams. Needless to say you didn’t follow those signs because you love Landon and you always followed your heart. Ianni felt it in her best interest to break the rules and now her wings are silver. I think they are charming don’t you?”
I found the way she talked about Ianni to be condescending and rude and I did not like her tone. She seamed phony and I don’t like phony people nor do I like phony Angels.
“Why are your wings blue then? And shouldn’t one of the rules be to let me be with who I am destined to be with?’ I was now as mad as she was. She was trying to pressure me to be with him. My tone was just as sharp as hers.
“Well I have blue wings because I break the rules a lot. For Landon and the others. I feel like they don’t get my signs. So I don’t see the harm in helping out. My wings have been many colors; you name it they’ve been it. I like blue the best but they will change after I go see Landon tonight. He will want to hear how you are doing and if you have been seeing anyone else. He is only trying to be with you, he means no harm. If you choose that you don’t want to be with him he will understand. He just wants you to give him a chance again. As for your destined mate you are to be with your destined mate, but who is to say he is not your destined mate? Ianni? Me? God? No one knows, just your heart. If you meet with Landon and your heart tells you he is the one, well then so be it, but that’s up to you. Ok? I must go, there is someone coming. Think about what I said ok?” She walked to the window and flew out, turning into a blue bird. When I turned around Mr. Grey was standing behind me. He looked unhappy that I was in his house.
“Mr. Grey you startled me. I was just um…”
“I saw what you were doing in here and I’m not too happy about it.” I hoped he wasn’t going to tell anyone. It was not something you wanted to come out to everyone. My heart stopped and I swallowed hard.
“A bird in my apartment is not acceptable. They could carry viruses and they make messes. See all the feathers in this room? I hope you will clean them up for me.”
I was so happy he hadn’t seen what that bird really was that I laughed out loud. He gave me a dirty look and walked out of the room. I knelt down and started to pick up the feathers on the ground and I thought about the decision that it seemed I had to make. To be with Landon, a guy that has loved me for years and I obviously loved in return, or to see what happens with Dallas. I thought I had this all worked out but Lillith’s little visit did nothing other than make me more confused. I decided that I would call Landon and meet with him. Maybe Lillith was right about my heart knowing what it wants. The only way to choose was to meet with him and see how I felt in his presence. The only thing I didn’t know was do I pretend I don’t know about him? Or do I tell him I know all about what was going on? I also wondered who his cousin was. They were the key to Landon finding me in this whole world. I could have lived anywhere and he found me here due to a cousin who knows me. It was so bizarre.
The Many Lives of Avery Snow Page 5