by Tasha Taylor
So he had been working on her. Pippa was under his spell already, and Leah knew that by the end of the evening, she would be his completely. How was she, Leah, supposed to cope with this? She had never before felt so possessive towards her daughter, had always shared her with Louise and Joe, but why now was she feeling as though it was going to tear her heart in two to have to share Pippa’s love with Nathan?
After a minute of silence, Leah made her move.
“Pip, do you ever miss having a daddy?”
Pippa looked at her, a wistful look in her grey eyes, and Leah’s heart twisted.
“Sometimes.” She looked down at her ice cream that was forming a sticky mess in the bottom of the dish. “But you said you love me enough for a mummy and a daddy.” Pippa seemed to be waiting for confirmation.
Leah nodded. “I do. Would you like to have a daddy, though?”
“Yes.” Pippa drew out the word, wondering whether that was the right answer. “Only if you don’t mind.”
Oh, but I do, sweetheart, more than you’ll ever know, Leah thought to herself, but put a smile on her face.
“Remember I told you about your daddy? That we were in love, but some things happened and I had to go away?”
Pippa nodded.
“Well,” Leah paused to take a deep breath, praying that she could get through this with her heart in one piece, “your daddy is back.”
“You said you were the one who had to go away.” Pippa looked confused, and Leah realized it was going to be harder than she thought.
“Okay. I should have said that your daddy has found us.”
“He’s here?” Pippa looked around, her little face turning red with excitement.
“No, darling. Not right now. But he wanted me to tell you about him.”
“Can I see him?”
“If you like.” Leah took another deep breath.
“Now?” Pippa’s eyes were sparkling, and her color heightened.
“Soon.”
“What’s his name, Mum?”
The hustle and bustle of the restaurant seemed to fade to silence, as Leah watched her daughter looking at her expectantly. There was a brief moment when Leah saw Pippa’s soul in her eyes, and she almost gave way to the tears she was holding back. What if Pippa suddenly decided that she preferred Nathan to her? What if the little girl decided that she hated her mother for not telling her sooner about her father? What if she decided in later years that she resented her mother’s selfishness and wanted nothing to do with her, just as Leah felt about her own mother? Whatever Pippa would feel, Leah knew it would not compare to the pain she would suffer at the hands of the press, and so she said the words that would bind her to Nathan forever, no matter how she felt about him.
“His name is Nathan, sweetheart. Nathan Llewellyn is your daddy.”
Chapter Five
Pippa’s silence in the car as Leah drove home worried her. In the restaurant when she had spoken those fateful words, Pippa’s face had paled then reddened again with a higher color than Leah had ever seen.
“Nathan?” Pippa had squeaked, and then had announced loudly that she felt sick.
Leah had bundled the little girl out of the restaurant, concerned about her reaction. Anyone watching the scene might have deduced that Pippa had eaten far too much ice cream, and was now feeling sick to her stomach.
Leah glanced at Pippa in the fleeting light of a street lamp her color had subsided slightly. There was a strange look in Pippa's eyes that made Leah wonder if she had done the right thing. She had never been one of those over-protective mothers, but all she wanted to do now was to hide her away from Nathan, from the threat of the press, and keep her to herself, safe.
“Are you all right?”
Pippa turned to look at her mother as if she had only just realized that they were not in the restaurant.
“Are we going home?” she asked in a faraway voice, to match the look in her eyes.
“Yes, darling. Are you still feeling sick?”
“I don’t think so. My tummy feels funny. Like bubbles.”
Leah gave her a relieved smile, hoping that it was only a case of mild indigestion bought on by too much fizzy drink and ice cream.
Leah was busy negotiating the tight turn into her driveway, and turned in her seat to look at Pippa only after she had parked the car in the garage. The gloom of the unlit garage filled the car, and Leah could only just make out Pippa’s face.
“Is Nathan really my dad?” she asked.
“Yes, he is. How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t think my tummy likes it much.” Pippa held her stomach as it growled.
Leah’s laughter made her smile. “Let’s go and fix your tummy then, and then we can see how the rest of you feels, okay?”
As soon as they shut the front door behind them, the phone began to ring in the kitchen. Normally, Pippa would have run to answer it, but she hesitated, and looked at her mother. Leah smiled.
“I’ll get it. It’s probably Nana wanting to know if we enjoyed the film.”
Leah hoped that was who it was, but as she picked up the receiver, she knew different.
“Where the hell have you been?” Nathan’s voice barked down the phone, and caused Leah to flinch.
“We’ve been out,” she replied evenly, trying to keep her anger at Nathan’s tone under control.
“I know that. I’ve been phoning all afternoon. I’m sick to death with hearing your answer phone. Where have you been?” he asked again.
“We went to the cinema. I didn’t realize that I had to report my every move to you!’ Her tone was biting, and when Nathan next spoke, his voice had lost its aggression.
“I was worried that you had bolted again. You have a nasty habit of doing that.”
“Well, I didn’t, so you can stop worrying. Pippa and I had a nice time, thank you for asking.” Leah smiled at Pippa, who realized by that time that it was Nathan.
“Did you tell her?”
“Yes.”
“How did she take it?”
“She says she feels sick to her stomach, if you must know.”
Nathan’s muttered curse and Pippa’s questioning look made her add, “She ate too much popcorn at the pictures, and then stuffed her face with ice cream at the restaurant afterwards. Other than that she seems to be okay.”
“Is she there now?” he asked.
“Yes, she’s here.”
“Can I talk to her?”
Nathan heard a short, muffled conversation on the other end, as Leah covered the mouthpiece with her hand. Then Pippa took the phone, pausing only to ask her mother what she should call him. Leah shrugged.
“Hello.” The little girl’s voice sounded quiet.
“Hey, how are you?”
“Good. How are you?”
“I’m fine. Your mum tells me you just pigged out. Was it good?”
Pippa giggled. “Yeah. I ate chocolate ice cream.”
“My favorite.”
“Mine too.” Pippa grinned, and Leah let out a sigh of relief.
“So did your mum tell you about me?”
“Yes.”
“And what do you think?”
“I told you that I wished you was my daddy.”
“I’m glad.”
Leah watched as Pippa smiled and wondered what Nathan was telling the little girl, what promises he was making that would soon be broken. Her thoughts wandered momentarily to her own broken heart and then she realized Pippa was saying goodbye.
“Okay, bye Daddy.” Pippa took the phone from her ear and held it out to Leah. “Daddy wants to talk to you.”
Leah took the proffered thing and shooed Pippa out of the kitchen. “Yes?”
“Thank you,” was all he said, and his soft tone caused her emotions to back pedal.
“For what?” she stammered, unnerved.
“For telling our daughter about me.”
The word our jarred in Leah’s mind, denoting a possession that she w
asn’t ready to grant him yet.
“I didn’t have much choice in the matter, did I?” She snapped, remembering Joe’s comment a few days before, that she would always have a choice. Yes, but when it came down to it, she was not sure if she hadn’t picked the most emotionally wrenching choice.
Nathan’s tone changed. “I’m leaving to come over now. I want to spend some time with her.”
That presuming self-righteousness again. “No. She’s tired, and she needs an early night. I know what’s best for her, and at this second, you’re not it. You can come over tomorrow, if you like. She finishes school at three, and we’ll be home just after that.”
“Leah...”
“Goodbye, Nathan.”
She slammed the phone down, but she was shaking like a leaf despite her strong words to him. Pippa poked her head around the door.
“Is Daddy coming over?”
“Tomorrow, Pippa. Tonight you and I are going to have a talk about all of this,” Leah said firmly as she marched her upstairs to have a bath.
Pippa gibbered away about all the things she wanted to do with Nathan, and show him, but when the little girl gave Leah a soap-sudded hug, all of the fight went out of her. More heartfelt hugs and kisses of love and appreciation were Leah’s before she finally got Pippa to sleep, and just as Nathan had done the night before, she sat in the chair, for hours, watching her sleeping daughter, wondering if things would ever be the same again.
Leah knew for sure the next day, when she came back from visiting one of the company lawyers who dealt with all of Joe’s legal matters. Leah explained her situation briefly to Russell Simmons, one of the senior partners in the law firm, Anderson, Simmons and Young, without giving away names and precise circumstances. She knew that if anyone got wind of her past relationship, they would go straight to the press, and that was definitely not what she wanted.
“So this man is your daughter’s father?”
“Yes. I had a relationship with him seven years ago.”
“Were you married?” The lawyer was paying close attention to her chest.
“No, we weren’t. We were living in sin.” A smile twisted around her lips, and finally, Russell’s attention was brought back to her face by the bitterness in her voice.
“Either way, you’re no longer together.”
“No. I left him before I had Pippa.”
“And whose name is on the birth certificate? As the child’s father I mean.”
“His.” Leah looked at him, concerned when he did not speak for a long moment. His chin was perched on templed fingers as he studied the notes he had taken. Finally, she could not stand the silence anymore and almost snapped at him.
“Well? Does he have any claim on her?”
“I’m afraid so. If he is named as the child’s father, then he has every right to his child. He is also responsible legally for things like medical care, clothing, shelter, and so on.”
“I don’t want his damn money. I just want to know if he can take her away from me.”
There was a hysterical tinge to her voice, as she leaned towards him across the desk.
“If it were to go to court, there’s a possibility that the judge could award joint custody to the father.” Upon seeing Leah’s eyes close briefly, he continued, “However, we would have to take into consideration other factors. You said you have brought the child up on your own so far?” He referred to his notes. “Yes. The judge would consider the moral turpitude of the father, his standard of living, and etcetera.”
“Standard of living,” Leah repeated faintly. Her cozy three-bedroom house was sure to look like a hovel next to the property Nathan could afford with his millions. The room began to swim.
“Are you all right, Miss Montague?” Russell rounded the large oak desk in a second, and placed a hand on Leah’s arm to steady her as she stood up.
“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for your help. You’ve helped me make a few decisions.”
As she drove back to Stars, her thoughts were concentrated on her daughter. It wasn’t fair. It didn’t matter to anyone that she was the one who had changed all her dirty nappies, suffered interminable sleepless nights when she was teething, given her all the love she could when there was no-one else to kiss away all the monsters that crawled under her bed in the night.
Leah’s mind was still in a fugue when she walked into her office, where she found a note from Rachel, her secretary, saying Pippa’s school had phoned. Apparently, Pippa was lying down in the nurse’s office. Leah’s heart was hammering as she sat at her desk and dialed the school’s number with shaking fingers.
“Ridgewood Primary School. Can I help you?” The school secretary answered the phone.
“Hello. This is Leah Montague, Pippa’s mother.”
“Yes, Miss Montague. I’m afraid Pippa’s not feeling very well today. We wondered if you’d like to come and collect her. It’s nothing serious, so don’t worry. She’s a little upset over something.”
“I’ll be right there.”
Leah hung up just as Joe entered her office.
“That was the school. They want me to collect Pippa. She’s not feeling too good.” Leah stood up and slung her handbag over her shoulder, whilst picking up her car keys. “I’m sorry, Joe. I’ll come straight back.”
“Don’t be silly. Get Pip and go home.”
At the school, Leah entered through the main doors and knocked on the secretary’s office door.
“Come in!” a woman’s voice called and Leah entered.
“Hello Miss Montague. I’m sorry you had to leave work.” Mrs. Halligan smiled. “Please, won’t you sit down?”
Leah did. “Is Pippa ready to come home?”
“Let me go and get Pippa’s teacher. She wanted to have a quick word with you.”
The older woman left Leah in the small office, returning shortly with Mrs. Armstrong, Pippa’s teacher.
“Good afternoon, Miss Montague.” Mrs. Armstrong extended her hand as she took a seat nearby.
“Mrs. Armstrong. What’s the problem with Pippa? She’s not in trouble, is she?” Leah could not imagine what kind of mischief her six year old could have conjured up that would warrant an immediate meeting with her teacher.
“Not at all. The children had to stay inside today at playtime. There was a little scuffle between Pippa and another girl.”
Leah frowned. “She didn’t hurt the other girl, did she?”
“No.”
“So what was the argument about?”
Mrs. Armstrong pursed her lips before she spoke. “I asked the other children what they had been fighting over, and they said that Pippa was telling them about her new father, Nathan Llewellyn.”
Leah wondered if this was the one red-blooded woman under the age of forty in the country who had no idea who he was, but as Mrs. Armstrong continued, she realized that was not true.
“Everyone knows who Nathan Llewellyn is, and obviously it’s not true. I know that you are a single parent but I wondered if you were aware that Pippa was inventing a father figure for herself. I’m afraid her friends weren’t very understanding, and they told her she was a liar. Pippa was very upset.”
Leah looked sad and noticed that Mrs. Armstrong was waiting patiently for a reply. Anything to qualify Pippa’s abnormal behavior. She felt moved to extenuate her daughter from this woman’s suspicions of make-believe.
“Mrs. Armstrong,” she began with a smile, “I do apologize for Pippa’s little outburst this morning. You see, she does actually have a father. I broke off our relationship before Pippa was born, and he has only just now come back on the scene, so to speak.”
“And is Pippa having difficulties accepting the situation?”
“No, she’s not having any difficulty. The truth is that Nathan Llewellyn is actually her father.” Leah noted with satisfaction that the teacher looked gobsmacked, for want of a better phrase. “Obviously, it’s not an ideal situation, what with him being so famous, but it’s one we have to de
al with. Pippa is just so proud of him that she wanted to tell her friends.”
“But, how...?” Leah remembered the self-assurance she always heard in Nathan’s voice, and drew upon it, pretending that she too was not used to having her words doubted.
“Of course, it goes without saying that I’d like this to be between you and me, and of course, Mrs. Halligan.” Leah smiled kindly at the secretary who had been trying hard not to listen to the conversation, but was now looking at Leah with a mixture of awe and admiration.
“Of...of course,” Mrs. Armstrong stammered.
Leah was wishing at that moment more than anything that she had made herself have that talk with Pippa last night, instead of putting it off, not wanting to spoil her happiness. Now, thanks to her soft-heartedness, and thanks to Nathan’s bloody well-known name and image, Pippa had already been hurt, and Leah felt as guilty as hell. But she wasn’t about to shoulder the blame for this one altogether. She would have some choice words to say to Nathan that evening, to set out the boundaries of his relationship with Pippa.
Mrs. Armstrong returned to her class, and Mrs. Halligan showed Leah to the nurse’s office, where she found Pippa lying on the bed, reading a comic.
“Hey baby,” Leah greeted her daughter softly, and Pippa sat up, with a brave smile, although her eyes filled with tears as soon as she saw her mother. “Everything’s all right,” she crooned, hoping against hope that it would be.
Pippa managed to hold on to her tears until they were in the car, and then the dam broke, and Leah’s heart ached for her daughter as she sobbed in her arms. For a long time, the little girl could not speak, but eventually, the tears stopped and she was able to sit up, sniffing pitifully.
“They were horrible to me, Mummy. They said that Nathan wasn’t my daddy.” Pippa looked to her mother for reassurance, and it was there in Leah’s smile.
“Of course he is, Pip. It’s just that for a long time, you haven’t had a daddy, and now you do, it’s going to take a bit of time for everyone to get used to. And not everyone is going to believe you when you tell them that Nathan is your dad.”
“Why not?” Pippa demanded. Her reasoning not yet developed enough to separate Nathan, her father, from Nathan, the rock star.