by Tasha Taylor
“Because of who he is. Your daddy is very famous, Pip, and lots of people like him, just like you did before you knew he was your dad.” Leah stroked Pippa’s hair from her tear-dampened face, as she explained patiently. Pippa thought on this for a while, and then smiled as if she had struck gold.
“Maybe Daddy can come to school and I can show everyone.”
“Maybe,” she agreed, as she started the car. “You’ll have to ask him tonight.” Smiling at the image of Nathan and the kids, she belted Pippa in. “You have to promise me something though, Pip. Let’s not tell anyone else about Daddy for the time being.” Leah put her finger to her lips. “Let’s make it our secret.”
Pippa nodded enthusiastically, pleased to have such an important secret, and put her own finger to her lips. “Can I tell Nana and Gramps? They like daddy, Nana told me!”
I bet she did, Leah thought, wondering what else she had told Pippa, and Nathan for that matter. “Yes, you can tell them, but then that’s it, okay? Promise?’
“I promise.”
Once they were home, Leah insisted that Pippa go and lie down for a while, and despite her protests, when Leah checked on her half an hour later, the little girl was fast asleep. Finding herself with time on her hands once more, the evening seemed to stretch in front of her forever.
As she wandered aimlessly around the lower floor of the house, Leah let her mind wander, as she picked up photographs, and ornaments and keepsakes that she had picked up over time, and thought about everything that she had achieved since she came to Newcastle. She had started out just turned nineteen years of age, with not enough money to live on, too much pain to live with and nowhere to actually live. She had had no clue as to what she wanted to do with her life, but she had scoured the local newspaper as she sat at the train station, and Lou’s Lounge had been the first place she had tried. Joe and Lou had taken her into their lives and their hearts, and although the first few weeks had been difficult for her, Leah soon settled in.
Leah had rented a small bedsit upon her arrival but when Pippa was born, she found it hard to cope on her own and in such cramped conditions, and so when Louise offered her a room in their home, Leah took it gratefully. For the first two years of her life, Pippa had three adults catering to her every need and was a very happy baby.
When Joe promoted Leah to assistant bar manager at Lou’s Lounge, and then subsequently gave her more responsibility over the whole bar, she had saved enough money to buy a cottage in a small village about ten minutes from Joe and Louise’s house. The cottage had been empty for a year when Leah and Pippa moved in and it had taken a lot of work to get it exactly how she wanted it. She could remember two-year-old Pippa getting paint everywhere but on the walls, trying to help, however with Joe and Louise helping, it was soon finished.
Leah looked around the living room where she had come to a standstill, her fingers resting on the mantelpiece over the fireplace. There were pictures of Pippa everywhere, along with pictures of Joe and Louise. It’s funny, she thought, how she had come to think of them as her family. Her own family, her mother and sister, had long since ceased to exist for her, ever since her father had died. A mild twinge of regret ran through Leah as she remembered how important her own father had been to her, and wondered if Nathan would mean the same to Pippa.
Over the past few days, Leah had been torn between thoughts of life with and without Nathan as Pippa’s father. Deep down Leah still felt that if Pippa had never found out about Nathan and vice versa, then they would have never have known what they were missing, but that was not a factor now, especially considering how Pippa felt about her father. Leah knew all she could do was try and keep her daughter safe, safe from Nathan’s lifestyle, and the constant media attention that went along with it, and safe from a broken heart when Nathan tired of her.
Leah tried not to compare Nathan to her own father, because Nathan would come up short every time. Luke Mitchell, in his daughter’s eyes, was everything Nathan Llewellyn was not. Luke had been a private person, preferring a quiet home life, and shying from the media attention that his wife’s career had brought into their lives. He was warm and giving, honest and trustworthy, all the qualities that Nathan was lacking as far as Leah was concerned. She could not be sure that Nathan could offer Pippa the things a little girl needed most, time and love. His career just did not allow for that.
“Why did you have to push it, Nathan?” Leah asked out loud, anger in her voice at the turmoil he had created. “Why the hell did you have to disrupt my life?”
The anger began to seep into her veins, and soon it was simmering, getting closer to boiling point, and at that moment, Nathan rang the doorbell.
“Is she all right?” He did not wait to be invited in as Leah opened the door. “I went by Stars,” he was saying and Leah watched him with an ever-deepening frown, “and Joe told me that Pip was ill. I wanted to go to the school but he said you were going to bring her home.”
Leah’s resentment was seething and she felt like her head was going to explode.
“Daddy!”
The pair of them turned to see Pippa running down the stairs, and she threw herself into Nathan’s arms. Leah’s heart was cracking even further as she watched Nathan wrap his arms around the little girl, and listening to his tender words. She couldn’t help but remember when Nathan had held her like that, and uttering a stifled noise, she wheeled out of the room, neither father nor daughter noticing her departure.
In the kitchen, she crashed around making dinner, and realized that her one place of calm and safety, her own home, had become like an emotional battleground for her. How dare he make all these demands on her time, when she did not even want him there in the first place?
Determined, she was banging crockery and cutlery onto the table as Nathan and Pippa entered the room. She had not told them dinner was ready, but Pippa could smell the food and had informed Nathan that they should go and sit down. Only Nathan seemed to be aware of the dark frown that was on Leah’s face, and as he and Pippa noisily washed their hands at the kitchen sink, he cast a long look in Leah’s direction. She was busy at the stove, her cheeks red from the steam from the pots, her hair damp around her face, the frown still knitting her brow.
Leah was unaware of Nathan’s perusal, and when she eventually sat down to eat, after making sure that everyone was served and happy, she was surprised to see a flicker of warmth in his eyes as she met his gaze. An unexpected warmth spread through her in answer, and it must have shown in her eyes, because Nathan raised his glass of water to her before putting it to his lips. Leah flushed at the mock salute, angry with herself once more for being taken in by him. She fumed in silence throughout the meal, but Nathan and Pippa’s happy chatter filled the room.
Leah looked at Pippa, as Nathan filled her plate up with seconds, and could not help but be astounded at the change in the little girl in such a short space of time. It had not been more than five hours earlier when Pippa had been in tears, almost inconsolable, and here she was, smiling and laughing, as if she did not have a care in the world. Leah acknowledged that at the moment she probably didn’t have, and she knew that children were very resilient, but would she be able to bounce back as quickly in the possibility that Nathan would break her heart. Leah pondered this thought for a while, and looked up in surprise when Nathan told Pippa that maybe her mother would like to put her to bed tonight.
Leah’s thoughts were with Nathan all the while she was bathing Pippa, and even when reading her a bedtime story. It was Pippa’s favorite story, Sleeping Beauty, and Pippa was in love with idea that Prince Charming had come to the rescue. It had been one of Leah’s fantasies as a little girl too, that she would fall in love with her own Prince Charming, someone who was exactly like her own father. After the heartbreak of losing her father, Nathan had seemed to be the one to rescue her from that pain, but in the long run had only broken her heart again.
Pippa was asleep before Leah had even finished the book. At least Pipp
a’s heart was safe whilst she was sleeping, and Leah went back downstairs. Nathan was not in the lounge, and it was with some trepidation that she opened the kitchen door, but found that room empty too. There was a bottle of wine already opened on the table with two glasses full, and Leah’s vain hope that Nathan might have already left was dashed. With a heartfelt sigh, she took a seat at the table, and suddenly feeling deathly tired, she put her arms on the table and lowered her head.
The sound of the door opening soon made her look up, and Nathan was standing at the end of the table looking at her. Leah did not bother to meet his eyes for she was sure that she knew what would be there, the same smugness she had seen before, and she did not have the energy to deal with that. She picked up one of the glasses and took a long drink. The influx of alcohol in her system had an immediate effect on her, and she felt lightheaded. She did not realize that Nathan had come to stand behind her until she heard him speak softly.
“You look absolutely shattered.”
Leah did not even give a sign that she had heard him and jumped when she felt his hands touch her shoulders. If she was tense before, her muscles bunched even tighter at his touch. His hands were making slow, strong circles over her upper back, and despite herself she began to relax. Leah’s mind began to wonder as Nathan’s hands worked over her shoulders and when he touched the sensitive skin on the back of her neck, an unexpected sigh escaped from her lips. She was feeling more content at that moment than in many days, and did not feel inclined to move out of reach of this man.
Nathan’s fingers reached Leah’s arms and she experienced a sudden flame of feeling in her lower belly, and opened her eyes quickly. What was he doing to her? She shouldn’t be feeling like this. This was the man who had interjected himself into her life, and who might take her daughter from her. While she was thinking these thoughts, her body was reacting even further to Nathan, and as his hand stroked her hair, a shiver of need went through her entire body.
It had been so long since she had been touched like that, and, although she had ignored the part of her that needed intimacy over the last seven years, she had to admit that she had missed it. Nathan removed his hands suddenly, and she looked at him wide-eyed as he knelt beside her chair. Her mind was in a haze of forgotten emotion, and his touch had a soporific effect on her body.
“I know it’s been hard for you.”
Leah heard his words but was intent on the movement of his lips. She was remembering how they had felt when he had murmured words of passion, kissing her.
“I just wanted to say thank you, again.” His voice was slightly louder that time, and Leah made herself look into his eyes. The two of them were close and the flame burned brighter in her belly.
“For what?” she muttered, too entranced with his closeness to hear the alarm bells that were ringing in her mind.
“For letting me be with Pippa. For letting me be here.”
Leah swallowed as she realized he was moving his head towards her. She could see the intent in his eyes, just as she had seen it many times before.
“Let me in,” he whispered. “I can make it all right.”
Her eyes closed as his lips touched hers in a gentle salute. At that second, Nathan murmured softly, and parted Leah’s lips with his tongue. She aided his soft entry to her mouth, and as their tongues met, Leah found herself swept away by powerful feelings of need and desire. How could she have forgotten what it felt like to be kissed by this man? Her lips were tingling with Nathan’s gentle assault, and she could taste the sweetness of his mouth as he probed and tasted hers. It felt so good to be touched like that, she wondered how she had spent so long on her own, pushing her own sexuality back to the farthest corners of her mind.
Her back arched slightly, and Nathan slipped one arm around her slender waist, and cupped her neck with the other. He deepened the kiss, and Leah answered with a soft sound from deep within.
“I want you,” he muttered, his breath ragged, as he pressed tiny kisses to her throat. “I’ve got to have you.”
Leah jerked back, with a harshly uttered denial. She did not see Nathan lose his balance and almost fall to the floor as she pushed the chair away from the table, causing both glasses of wine to topple and spill.
“What is wrong with you?” Nathan exclaimed as he hurried to the sink to get a cloth to mop up the spilled liquid.
Leah had backed herself against the cooker and stood shaking her head to try and clear the thoughts she had been having whilst Nathan was kissing her. She had let him touch her, kiss her, and all the while she had enjoyed it. What was she thinking? It had been those last words that had snapped her out of her passion-filled reverie.
He honestly thought that he was going to possess her once more, just like that, just because she had weakened for a moment. She was angry at him for taking advantage of her when she was tired and feeling weakened by the emotional stress of the past few days, but she was furious at herself for letting her guard down around him for even one second. She knew what he was like, how he used people, and expected to have everything he wanted immediately just because he wanted it.
Leah’s head had cleared when Nathan threw the wet cloth into the sink and stood in front of her with his hands on his hips. His whole person exuded an air of vast superiority, and Leah could see from the frown on his face that he was having difficulty understanding why she had torn herself from his embrace when for all the world she had appeared to be enjoying it. Well, she was more than ready to tell him.
“What’s going on?” Nathan voiced the question, and leveled a look at her.
Nathan had already had his turn when he had threatened to go to the press if she did not tell Pippa about him. Now it was her turn.
“I’ll tell you. You may have won the love of a little girl, but by no stretch of the imagination does that mean that I am included in the deal.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I mean,” she said, her voice loud, “that I want nothing to do with you. I may have been stupid enough to let you kiss me just now, but it is not going to happen again, do you hear me? I have had enough of you to last me a lifetime. I learned my lesson years ago when I found you with that woman. You can deny it all you want,” she smirked nastily, as Nathan began to shake his head, “but I saw you with my own eyes, and you messed up any kind of future we might have had together. I didn’t trust you then, and I most certainly don’t trust the kind of man you’ve become, and I don’t trust you with my daughter’s heart either!”
Nathan stared at her whilst she caught her breath. “And what kind of man have I become?”
Leah smiled. He was making it too easy for her. If she held any kind of reservations about telling him to his face exactly what she thought of him, for fear of him doing something to hurt Pippa, they had vanished into thin air. She had seven years of pent up emotions to vent, and she was going to enjoy every second of it.
“You’re arrogant, self-centered, spoiled, rude, and thoughtless. You waltz back into my life, demanding that I hand my daughter over to you on a plate. You blackmail me with the press, apparently without thinking about the consequences. Can you imagine how she would feel if she had her picture plastered across every single newspaper in the country? No, I don’t suppose you can because it’s second nature to you, and you love every single minute of it, don’t you?”
She didn’t wait for his answer she was on a roll. “You can see because she fancies herself in love with you. You have been her idol for a long time, but she hasn’t reached the age yet where she can determine between you as her father and you as a rock star. I can, and I don’t like what I see at all.
“Pippa is the only reason you are here, but if you step one foot out of line, if you mess up my daughter’s life, then you will never see her again. We will disappear, just like we did before, and you won’t find us. I promise you that, Nathan.”
Leah finished, a brief thought crossing her mind that she might just have taken it a bit too far, but it d
id not settle. She had not expected silence from him and it was making her nervous. She watched him for the longest time, and when he opened his mouth to speak, she held her breath.
“We’ll see.”
And with that, he left the kitchen, slamming the door behind him. Leah held her breath still, until she heard the front door slam so hard that she was sure that the house was rocking in its foundations. Then, she crumpled to the floor, dissolving in tears. Tears that she should have cried a long time ago, for now she knew that she had lost the man she had once loved forever. There was not a single shred of compassion left in Nathan, and it broke her heart. She sat on the kitchen floor, trying to hold both her heart and her life together with her two hands.
Chapter Six
Leah kept Pippa home from school the next day as she was running a temperature. As Leah telephoned the school secretary, she was sure that the fever had less to do with actually being ill than the prospect of spending the day with Nathan. Leah’s own temperature rose when she thought of him, but it was with a fierce anger that made her blood boil. She had told him in no uncertain terms the night before, how she felt about his presence in her life. Whether her angry thoughts were directed at him for violating her home or at herself for letting him be there in the first place. It was no longer here nor there. She had set the limits for all three of them, and now she was going to have to make sure that no one crossed the line she had drawn in the sand.
Leah had to make sure that Pippa did not become too attached to Nathan, and that Nathan himself did not abuse his new relationship with his daughter. Pippa had already been on the phone to her father that morning to tell him she was not going to be in school, wanting to know if he’d spend the day with her. Leah had spoken to him briefly and knew from the tone of his voice that he had indeed heard her words clearly the night before. He had been cool, but polite, and Leah came off the phone with a feeling of satisfaction.