The Rock Star's Girls

by Tasha Taylor

  Leah looked from Joe to Nathan. How come Joe knew where Nathan was staying? She didn’t know; it hadn’t even crossed her mind to ask him. He probably had enough money to buy a hotel. Having toured all over the world, he must be used to living out of a suitcase. It suited his lifestyle, and the way he was. That was probably why he had been so willing to postpone the date of their wedding twice. He did not like to be tied down; he loved his freedom too much.

  Leah frowned. That’s why she didn’t ask him. She did not need to know anything else about him. He was only in her life because of Pippa, that was all. There was no need to know where he was staying, how he was doing in general, or anything like that. But when she turned her thoughts back to the other people at the table, she found that all three of them were chatting like old friends about Nathan’s house in London, and their favorite places to visit.

  Something fluttered in Leah’s stomach. She was thinking back to her conversation with Jennifer on Nathan’s mobile. . Leah had been angry that Nathan had women phoning him in her home. But now, she was horrified to find that she had a definite streak of jealously racing around inside, so fast and so strong that she was sure that she was turning green.

  How could she possibly be jealous? She had spent seven years of her life getting over the betrayal of her love by the man she was supposed to marry. And now she was doing fine, she had her own home, a lovely daughter, a wonderful job, with no need for anyone, any man in her life.

  So why on earth was she feeling this way? It felt like her stomach was hollow; such was the strength of the emotion, like a feeling of loss. The loss of all those years on her own, deprived of a marriage that she had wanted with all her heart and above all, the almost ridiculous feeling of loss that had started growing the second she set eyes on Nathan with Jennifer in the nightclub. It had grown, unsuspected and undetected, inside her until the moment she had answered Nathan’s mobile, hearing Jennifer on the other end.

  Leah sat back in her chair with a look of stunned disbelief on her face, shocked with the decision she had just reached. She was still in love with Nathan. Leah’s gaze automatically flickered to Nathan, as Louise spoke.

  “Do you have any plans for your birthday?”

  “Birthday?” Leah frowned, having forgotten that it was that time of year again. Leah looked at Nathan again, then back to Louise. “I-I hadn’t really thought about it. I don’t think I’ll be doing anything at all,” she stammered nervously. “I’ll be right back!”

  Leah’s chair scraped across the floor noisily and almost tumbled over in her hurry to leave. It was only after she had made her way through the lunchtime crowd to the safety of the toilets that she realized she had been holding her breath. Gasping, she shakily locked the cubicle door and perched on the toilet seat. Her heart was hammering fit to burst, it hurt to breathe, her head was suddenly pounding and to top it all, as Leah brushed a strand of hair from her eyes, she found tears.

  “Oh God!” she moaned quietly, and bent her head into her hands. “Why is this happening to me?”

  Less than a week ago, she was doing just fine, and now, all because of Nathan Llewellyn, she was an emotional wreck. She’d loved him, lived for him, would have died for him, but thought she was over him. How could he possibly have any effect on her anymore?

  With a sigh, Leah lifted her head and rubbed her temples. Because you still love him, even after everything that has happened in your life, you still love the man. Why else did you let Pippa plaster her bedroom walls with posters of him? Why else did you buy every single thing he has released, under the pretense of buying them for your daughter? So you can see his face, listen to his voice, and imagine he was still touching you, kissing you.

  She shook her head to stop the questions in her mind, but she knew it was no use. She was hearing the truth, and that she had been kidding herself all these years. She might have once hated Nathan, when, alone and scared, she’d travelled to Newcastle, pursued by memories. But when she’d held their child in her arms, she knew she would never be able to hate him, not for anything in the world.

  Leah’s tears had stopped now, and she blew her nose, trying to clear her head. She still loved him, but what could possibly come of it? Nathan had been shocked to find he was a father after all this time, and he seemed to genuinely care for Pippa, but that was as far as it went. When Nathan had kissed her the other day, it had seemed so real and felt as if he really wanted her, but then it was gone as soon as Pippa appeared, and Leah had felt left out in the cold. Was he getting back at her, for leaving and not telling him about his child? Was he that heartless these days, that he could switch his emotions on and off? Did he hate her that much?

  Nathan might have changed in many ways, but the way he was with Pippa could not be faked. He wasn’t that selfish to break a little girl’s heart, even to get back at her mother. And she’d felt it in his lips when he had kissed her, and in the way his hands had molded to her body when he touched her, and it was just like they were together once more.

  This is seven years down the line now, Leah. Look at him; he stands for everything you dislike about fame and fortune. It tears families apart. He has his own way of life, his own way of doing things, and that is never going to make anyone happy but Nathan.

  “No plans, no wishes, no tears” Leah said aloud, stepping out of the cubicle. “He is Pippa’s father, and she has a right to be happy.” She checked her face quickly as she passed the mirror, brushing away a small trail of mascara under her eye, and then stepped back out into the bar.

  The three of them had their heads together in a huddle as Leah approached the table and she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. They had to be talking about her.

  “There you are, love,” Louise said brightly as Leah sat down. “Thought you’d locked yourself in the toilet again.”

  Nathan smiled. “Again?”

  Joe started to laugh. “She was seven months pregnant at the time!”

  There was laughter, but Leah could hardly raise the corners of her mouth to smile. Every part of her felt like lead. With an effort, Leah looked at Nathan out of the corner of her eye. She had been alone for so long, and had convinced herself that Nathan meant nothing and she would never need another man in her life. But now, the emotions and yearnings, which had lain dormant, had been woken by the man who had caused her to bury them and Leah had an unusually selfish desire to take any chance of being near Nathan. She wanted to fill the hole he had made in her heart, albeit temporarily, for he would soon be on his way back to London, to his career, and to Jennifer.

  “Have you and Jennifer discussed having children yet? I’m sure Pippa would love to have a little brother or sister.” The words were out of Leah’s mouth before she could stop them, but stemmed from an urge to see how involved the two of them were.

  Nathan choked on a mouthful of coffee. “What?”

  “I said….”

  “As a matter of fact, we were only talking about children the other day. Jennifer adores them and I think that she’d like to have a child soon. She’d make a really good mother!” He finished with a sweet smile at Leah.

  Leah was dumbfounded. She had been so sure that Nathan was going to say no, that he would tell her that Pippa was enough for him at the moment, and that he and Jennifer were nothing serious. And, a little voice whispered at the back of her mind, that he was still in love with Leah, and wanted to give up everything and come and live with her and Pippa in their cottage.

  Leah looked into Nathan’s eyes, trying to see if there was anything else, but all they seemed to be saying to her was “Don’t play games with me. You won’t win!”, but she also had nothing to lose, except her heart, and that was already cracked right down the middle.

  Nathan turned to look at Louise. “Is that settled for Saturday?”

  Saturday’s my birthday, Leah thought.

  “Yes, that’s fine. I’ll pick Pippa up at noon and then you can come over to lunch on Sunday.”

  Leah looked waril
y around the table. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m taking you out for the evening, and Joe and Louise are looking after Pippa.” Nathan smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his grey eyes.

  “You can’t!” Leah blurted, then met Louise’s gaze. She had been set up. She and Nathan had not been alone properly for over seven years. Now, he wanted to take her out for dinner?

  “You don’t want to go?” Nathan’s tone was even, and there was no encouragement in his face for her to say yes please.

  “I thought you were here for Pippa, not me.” Leah leant towards him, her eyes narrowed and her voice only slightly above a hiss.

  “Maybe I want you too!” Nathan reached under the table and squeezed her knee gently, making her jump in her seat. “Don’t you want to be alone with me, Lee?”

  At that softly spoken invitation, the nickname he used to use, combined with the touch of his fingers on her leg, running tiny circles on her thigh, Leah felt a ball of heat start low in her belly, sending little rivers of fire outwards, wanting him to touch to her, to tease her, to taste her. With hooded eyes, she met his gaze and was surprised to see an answering hunger there.

  Suddenly embarrassed, Leah blushed. “I should get back to the office. I had a great time, thanks.” She stood and picked up her belongings, stopping only to kiss Louise and Joe goodbye. Hoping she could get away with not even having to look at Nathan, she smiled broadly, if vaguely. Around the table, and with a breezy farewell, she headed for the door, heart hammering, breath uneven.

  Leah could see the door and told herself that she would calm down once she was outside in the fresh air. Then she felt someone behind her, felt a hand on her lower back, and she looked over her shoulder. Nathan had his coat on and seemed intent on leaving with her.

  ***

  “I’m taking you back to work,” Nathan answered when she asked him what he was doing. “You got a taxi, didn’t you?” Leah nodded. “I thought I would save you the walk, if that’s okay with you?”

  Not waiting for an answer, Nathan took her hand and led her to the car, which was parked at his hotel a short walk from the bar. As they came to a halt, Nathan pressed the key fob, and opened the passenger door. “After you.”

  He watched her closely as she climbed in, her short skirt riding up slightly. With a raise of one eyebrow as he shut the door, Nathan saw her blush. She looked like a teenage Leah again when they started dating.

  They were both silent as Nathan negotiated the one-way system that had given him so much grief the day after he had met Leah again. It wasn’t until they were more or less at their destination that Leah looked at him.

  “What?” he asked, noting her perusal of his face out of the corner of his eye.

  “I was just wondering what made you head North for a holiday. I thought you rock stars followed the sun.”

  “Doctor told me to rest. I chose somewhere quiet.”

  “Too many guest appearances at star-studded bashes with free booze? Or is it one too many late nights with Jennifer?” Leah joked, but Nathan did not see the humor. He frowned and slammed on the brakes outside of Stars, making her body jerk against the force of the restraining seat belt.

  “That’s not all I do, you know!” He undid his seat belt and leaned towards her, his face a mere half foot away from hers.

  “You could have hurt me! I hope you don’t do with Pippa in the car!” Leah tried to get out of her own seat belt, but Nathan reached for the release catch and pulled the strap tighter, so that she was pinned back in her seat. “What are you playing at?”

  “I should ask you the same thing. I’d like to know whom you are more interested in. My relationship with Pippa, or my relationship with Jennifer? Because you’ve brought her up in conversation a hell of a lot today.”

  “Pippa, of course.”

  “Then why the sudden interest in Jennifer?”

  “Because anything you do with her is bound to have an effect on Pippa, that’s why.”

  Leah was pressing herself back in the seat to get away from him as he leaned closer.

  Nathan looked at her carefully as he moved away, his gaze running down her body, lingering at the point where the shoulder strap of the seatbelt ran diagonally across her chest, making her breasts stand out more. Unconsciously, he pulled the strap tighter.

  “Are you sure that’s all?”

  “Nathan, you’re hurting me!” Leah gasped, and immediately he let go the strap.

  “Sorry, I guess I just got carried away.” He grinned disarmingly at her as he released the seat belt fastening.

  Nathan opened the door for her and helped her out, his eyes on her legs as her skirt rode up once more.

  “Thanks for the lift,” she mumbled.

  “Aren’t you going to ask me in for a coffee?” Nathan grinned like a schoolboy.

  “What are you on about, Nathan?” The smile she gave him took him back to the days when they were together.

  “When I used to drive you home in London, you’d always invite me in for a coffee,” he winked at her, “or something.”

  “Nathan!” Leah laughed, making him grin.

  “Go on.” Nathan stepped closer towards her and, almost shyly, with a sidelong glance at her, reached for her hand. “It’ll be just like old times.”

  He looked deep into her eyes, in which he’d once been able to see every emotion she possessed, and saw a flicker of warmth. Encouraged and buoyed by that spark, he moved closer, pressing himself against her, and, dipping his head, kissed her.

  “Seeing as you’re here,” she whispered against his lips, “you might as well come in.” He kissed her again, before he followed her up the steps.

  As she punched in her code on the security panel, he buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply. He remembered too late that her neck was very sensitive and he couldn’t help but smile as she bent her head into his, trying to alleviate the tickle of his breath. He didn’t know what she was feeling but heat was definitely warming his veins, a pulse beginning in his groin

  ***.

  Dear God, what was he doing? What was she letting him do to her? What had happened to the responsible single mother, who had always put her daughter’s needs before her own? Where had the seven years of resentment and loathing gone? Why was she willing to let him touch her, kiss her, love her?

  Love! Shaking her head, Leah stopped halfway through the open door, Nathan bumping into her, thinking that she had stopped on purpose. His hands closed on her hips, creeping round the curves to rest lightly on her stomach. Leah tensed, and tried to steel herself against her body, and her heart’s violent reaction to his touch. It’s not right, he doesn’t love you, and he’s only here for Pippa. However, it was no good. As much as her mind screamed stop, the beat of her heart, the rhythm of the coursing blood in her veins, the burning sensation where his hands rested on her body urged her to carry on, to let Nathan touch her wherever he wanted.

  The need she had starved for seven years had turned into a raging hunger to be held by him, wanted by him, needed by him, even if it was just once, for one moment in time when the world would stop and it would be like it used to be.

  “Come on,” Nathan whispered, gently pushing her through the door, and when Leah heard the slam of metal on metal, she knew there would be no turning back, not now, not ever. Her heart was his for the taking, like it always had been, always would be.

  Leah remembered nothing of the steps she took to her office, only conscious of Nathan’s hand in hers. It was only when he shut her office door behind him, and turned the key, that she remembered to breathe. As he turned the key, she felt the doors of her heart shut, locking Nathan inside, where he should have been for the last seven years.

  “Coffee?” Leah managed to say, looking at Nathan as he approached her.

  “Something else?” he suggested, reaching for her, pulling her into the warm circle of his arms.

  “Tea?” She tried weakly, seeing him smile.

  “Kiss?” he countere
d, lowering his lips to hers.

  The kiss that followed was the seal of Leah’s fate, the way it should have always been, had she not have run away all those years ago. As his lips tested hers, she tested her heart. It didn’t seem to be hurting, like she had imagined it would if she let him close. In fact, it was beating fit to burst, as she felt the tip of his tongue pressing softly on her bottom lip, asking for permission to enter her sweet mouth. But permission was not hers to give as her lips parted at his touch and her own tongue snaked to meet his. A feeling hotter than fire shot through her veins, her hands reached for his shoulders, as much to brace herself as to pull herself closer to his warmth.

  Nathan followed her lead and wrapped his arms around her slim waist, fingers massaging her lower back, following the gentle curve of her hip, the slope of her bottom, and feeling the muscle tense as he touched her.

  "Lee!" he muttered.

  She heard her name, heard Nathan's voice, but couldn't respond even if she had wanted to. Every part of her, from mind to muscle, from skin to senses, was busy concentrating on the feel of his hands on her. The touch of his lips, the oh-so sweet taste of his mouth; she only managed to remember to breathe when Nathan broke the kiss, loosening his grip on her. This caused a sinking sensation in her stomach, a feeling of loss on her lips, and a sudden aching chasm in her heart.

  "What is it?" she asked breathlessly, the stark look on his face beginning to raise questions in her hazed mind.

  "Let's sit down," Nathan motioned towards the deep blue sofa, piled high with soft cushions.

  It was as though Nathan had brushed away a lifetime's worth of cobwebs. He's going to tell me that he wants to take Pippa. A look of sheer panic crossed her face that second and Nathan smiled.

  "I want us to be comfortable, that's all. You look for all the world like a little girl who thinks I'm going to take all of her sweets away."

  Leah bit down on her lower lip, still full and moist from Nathan's kiss. She couldn’t meet his gaze.

  "Come on." Nathan took her hand.

  She let him position her against the cushions and she let him tilt her head so that she had to look at him. And what she saw took her breath away.