Ruthless Heart

by Emma Lang

  Definitely time to part ways.

  “I ain’t a cook, Liz.” He poked at the fire with a stick. “I eat in restaurants or make do with stuff I ain’t gotta cook, except coffee of course.”

  She tutted and continued her lesson, pushing her spectacles up her nose. The way she explained things made him wonder if she really was a schoolmarm. If she wasn’t, she sure as hell could be. Every detail, boring or not, was covered in how to cook cornpone. She might even have it written down in her journal somewhere.

  “You sure you ain’t a schoolteacher gone loco?” He knew she’d get past annoyed and into angry with him, which is why he said it. “’Cause, woman, you are just spending too much of your time thinking about it.”

  “Good gracious, Grady, you’re deliberately inciting my temper. I hate to admit it’s working.” She huffed and puffed at the fire, shooting him dark glances as the cornpone’s delicious aroma wafted past his nose.

  Eliza riled up was a sight to see. He preferred her over the mousy spinster. If he were smart, he’d wire the old man in Tolson that he didn’t find his quarry and quit looking. If he were smart, he’d hold on to Eliza and find a small corner of nowhere to be with her for good.

  However, Grady would be the first to admit he wasn’t always the smart one and didn’t always do what he should. He’d never given up on a job before, and he wasn’t about to start. His work depended on his reputation, one he’d built up from years of being successful at finding what he set out to hunt.

  He wouldn’t throw all of it away because of Eliza. Or perhaps he couldn’t because the possibility of giving up the one thing he had been good at scared the shit out of him. Hunting and killing were part of who he was, not just what he did. Eliza couldn’t change him any more than she could tame a cougar.

  “I’m not going to share the cornpone with you, by the way. You misbehaved intentionally, so I will do you the same in kind and not feed you the fruits of my labor.” No matter how much he tried to teach her different, she kept talking like a thick textbook on a dusty shelf. Eliza would not change her ways.

  Neither would Grady.

  Decision made, even if he didn’t want to think about what he’d do tomorrow, Grady poured himself a cup of coffee and sat back, watching her fuss around the fire. He should leave her be for the night without complicating his weakness for her body. Yet each time she moved, her unbound hair flashed in the firelight.

  He was already aroused, much to his consternation. There were two things he could do, either strip her naked and fuck her silly, or walk away until she fell asleep, then spend the night thinking about how he wanted to wake her up.

  Grady had already had sex with her too many times, and he shouldn’t have touched her even once. Although it nearly made him weak in the knees, he stood up and stretched his legs.

  “I won’t ask you for any then.” He turned and walked toward the trees behind them, his steps almost dragging.

  “Wait, Grady, where are you going?” She sounded confused, something he had to nip in the bud.

  “Away from you for a while. I ain’t used to being around people much.”

  She sucked in a breath, audible even from fifteen feet away. Grady felt the force of it, and he almost tripped.

  “Damn it to hell.” He gritted his teeth and kept walking.

  Eliza stared at the spot Grady disappeared into until the cornpone began to smoke. She pulled the pan off the fire and tried to pull her attention back to her supper.

  It didn’t matter that he left her alone. Since his horse was still tethered to the tree, he’d be back. Of course, he’d still walked away without an apology, and only a cryptic explanation. She wanted to be angry with him, but she was disappointed in herself instead.

  There was no future for the two of them, she knew that. They were walking a very fine line between reality and fantasy, and sooner or later it would become razor sharp, enough to wound both of them. The ring was as fake as their marriage, even if it felt real on her finger.

  Yet she wanted him to come back, wanted more of his touch, wanted to sleep by his side, and for that she was disappointed in herself. If only he wasn’t hunting Angeline, she’d be free to pursue a future with Grady, to convince him they were perfect for each other.

  Pipe dreams, that’s all they were. Dreaming could lead to wonderful things, like books and inventions, but in her case dreams of Grady would bring her nothing but heartache.

  She couldn’t help how she felt, though. Eliza knew she was in love with him, and that would never change, no matter what happened. She recognized the deep feelings for what they were, and she had hoped he felt the same way.

  Maybe he did. The thought made her heart thump hard enough to make her chest hurt. Perhaps putting distance between them was his way of denying his feelings. She could only hope it was true, or perhaps she shouldn’t hope for it at all.

  If they loved each other, though, Eliza liked to believe anything was possible. Even resolving the impossible situation they were in, on two sides of a situation made even murkier by the untruths she’d contributed to it.

  Eliza used to think she was trapped in her life at home, like a bird in a cage. Now that she was free, flying on her own, soaring in the sky, she found her life to be just as constraining. There were rules to everything, even living in sin with a bounty hunter on the trail of her runaway sister.

  If she weren’t experiencing it firsthand, she might even think it was a story from a book. She wished it was, and then she could write a happy ending for herself.

  Eliza sighed and forced herself to focus on the meal rather than the missing companion. Truthfully she was surprised he hadn’t left her behind again. It made her believe Grady had feelings for her. It was a circle of confusion that made her head and heart hurt.

  She ate without tasting much, but her belly was full, and after the day’s activities, her body was exhausted. She left the pan with a cloth over it for Grady despite her warning she wouldn’t share it with him, then cleaned up everything she’d used to cook with.

  With a yearning for his company she had trouble setting aside, Eliza laid down on her bedroll and watched the dancing flames in the fire until her eyes grew heavy. She fell asleep to the sound of the crickets singing her a lullaby.

  Grady stood in the trees, smoking a cheroot and watching her. Damn fool that he was, he couldn’t even be away from her without actually being away from her. He told himself it was because he wanted to be sure she was safe.

  He was a fucking liar.

  When she laid down to sleep, he snuffed out the cheroot and leaned against the nearest tree. Eliza was so innocent, still trusting of the world around her. She hadn’t even checked to be sure it was safe before she slept.

  He waited another thirty minutes before he returned to the fire. To his surprise, she’d left the cornpone for him to eat. As he sat down and pulled a piece from the pan, she made a noise in her sleep. It was almost a moan.

  Grady’s blood began pumping through him, and every small hair on his body stood up. He didn’t even want to consider what his reaction meant. His body knew hers from top to toe, each dip, curve, and sweet spot.

  His dick pulsed, pressing against his trousers. She was asleep for God’s sake. What the hell was wrong with him? He’d just made a vow to leave her alone, to literally leave her behind, and yet one small peep out of her and he was as hard as an oak.

  Maybe he should have fucked her silly, then walked away, but that would have been selfish and stupid. Although he never claimed not to be either of those things, he hadn’t felt right about taking her body when he had decided to leave her.

  Eliza rolled over, her blanket dipping down to reveal one breast. She wore her not-quite-white chemise, the one he wanted to rip to pieces but she wouldn’t let him. It wasn’t the ratty chemise that caught his attention, though.

  It was the hard nipple beneath it.

  If there was one thing he could hardly resist, it was Eliza’s tits. They were perfect
ly shaped, with raspberry nipples that drove him nearly insane. The right one was just visible above the edge of the blanket.

  He swallowed hard, instantly and completely so aroused he almost forgot he had cornpone in his mouth. After successfully getting the food down his gullet without choking, he licked his lips. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from that nipple.

  She moaned again, and Grady fisted his hands to keep from touching her. Obviously he couldn’t keep his hands or his body from wanting her. He had to keep himself in check or risk the plan he’d already decided to follow. Yet there was no way in hell he could sleep with the tent pole in his trousers.

  That left him only one option.

  Grady didn’t want to think about what he was doing, so instead he focused on relieving the arousal that had slammed into him. He unbuttoned his trousers and slid down to lean against the tree behind him.

  He opened his drawers to pull out his pulsing dick. His hand closed around his hardness and squeezed. He imagined it was Eliza’s hand instead of his own callused one. His gaze never left her, watching her sleep, perhaps dream of him. She moaned again, and he responded, low and deep in his throat.

  Grady stroked the hardened flesh, squeezing the tip, then did it again. His other hand dug into the ground beside him, the loamy earth substituting for the perfectness of her breast. Her lips parted with a breathy sigh and he sucked in a breath.

  As the fire crackled beside him, Grady quickened his pace, his hand moving faster, squeezing the base, then the tip. His balls tightened and he imagined plunging in deep within her body, finding the perfect place where he belonged.

  As the orgasm swept over him, he didn’t close his eyes, but kept focus on Eliza, on the woman who owned him but didn’t know it. Pleasure mixed with sadness accompanied his release, and then it was over.

  His arousal quenched, Grady rose and used the canteen to wash himself. The cool water helped to finish the job his hand had completed. He buttoned up his trousers, then took his bedroll from beside Eliza.

  Grady couldn’t look at her any longer. Not that he expected to become horny again, although he might, but because he was pulling away from her again. He needed to regain control of himself no matter what.

  As he laid the bedroll where his feet would be near hers, but he couldn’t see her, Grady refused to think about the fact it was the first night in weeks he hadn’t slept beside her.

  Sleep was a very long time coming.

  Eliza slept deeply and heard nothing until Grady’s voice yanked her out of a deep sleep.

  “Liz, for pity’s sake, get your ass up. The sun’s been up for half an hour.” He banged some loud items together, startling her into full wakefulness.

  She rose quickly, readying herself within ten minutes, only to find Grady had already saddled and loaded the horses. He sat on Bullseye with both sets of reins in his hands, the standard scowl marring his features. Eliza noted he had dark circles under his eyes, and his cheeks looked gaunt. There was obviously something bothering him, and she had a feeling it was her presence.

  A bounty hunter was a lonely creature, due to the nature of his business. Eliza knew it was only a matter of time before he fell back fully into his habits as that solitary being.

  She could only hope it was later rather than sooner, which was selfish of her for more than one reason.

  Using a rock, she mounted Melba, very conscious of the fact he’d not offered assistance. This was another bad sign.

  It took another hour before he spoke again. “We’re heading into a town named Montgomery later, likely get a hotel room for the night.”

  She hated to admit that a bed, any bed, was more appealing than anything she could imagine. The hard ground, the cold nights, were all taking a toll on her body and her mind. It sounded positively indulgent.

  “I’ve not stayed in a hotel before. I must admit to being intrigued to do so.” She grinned at the top of Melba’s head. “Does that mean the horses also stay in guest facilities?”

  “I don’t even know what facilities are, but I’m sure there’ll be a livery for the horses.” He pointed toward some low rolling hills in the distance, dwarfed by the towering mountains farther out. “Montgomery is in that valley up yonder. We’ll be there near dinnertime.”

  Eliza didn’t want Grady to think her a fool for being excited about the hotel, not to mention the dinner in a restaurant she hadn’t been able to enjoy. She kept quiet while they rode, amazed to realize that being on top of the horse was now completely comfortable. Although riding for long periods of time still made her numb, it no longer caused pain.

  She was thrilled with her horsemanship and rode with her shoulders thrown back and the wind in her hair. Eliza was free from the ghost of who she used to be.

  The town grew larger with each passing minute. When they rode through the outskirts, bruised-looking clouds filled the sky.

  “The sky’s gonna open up any minute. Let’s move a little faster, Liz.” He spurred his horse into action, and Eliza followed close behind.

  The scattering of houses and small buildings gave way to a moderately sized town. There were wooden sidewalks, groups of people walking to and fro, a mercantile, a saloon called “Dog’s Leg,” a restaurant, and a hotel. A much different place than Black Rock, for which she was entirely grateful. Montgomery looked inviting and well kept.

  Eliza nearly bounced on the saddle as they stopped in front of the restaurant, aptly named “Ana’s Plate.” It had blue gingham curtains in the windows and a set of chairs with a checkers set between them on a crate.

  “It looks wonderful.” She dismounted without hesitation and didn’t realize until her feet touched the ground that her anomalous dismount wasn’t so unique after all. She’d done it again.

  “You act like a kid on Christmas. It’s just a place to get some vittles.” Grady was his usual chipper self.

  “Well, I’m going to enjoy Montgomery and all it has to offer.” She took his arm, which a moment after they touched she realized was a big mistake. He was stiffer than the wood beneath her feet.

  “That ain’t a whole hell of a lot.” He didn’t pull away from her, but he didn’t seem to welcome her touch, either. Something had happened after Black Rock, after her birthday when he had shown her true pleasure. It was as if he was deliberately putting the distance between them again. She didn’t like it, nor did she welcome it. Eliza would do her best to stop his nefarious plan, even if it meant throwing herself in his arms.

  Of course, that would be what she wanted to do anyway. She’d had another dream of him last night, one where they had pleasured themselves in full view of each other. It was incredibly erotic and left her needing his touch even more. Then of course, he’d woken her rudely and had barely said three words to her all day.

  Grady was two people inside one. The trick would be finding the one who was gentle, considerate, and protective. It appeared the grumpy, mean, and taciturn side had control. Eliza would find a way, no matter what the cost.

  They stepped into Ana’s Plate, and the scents of many different things washed over her. There were apples, cinnamon, fresh bread, perhaps gravy or beef stew. She closed her eyes and reveled in the scents, most of which reminded her of home. The kitchen was the place she missed, and the satisfaction of making a wonderful meal. There were few things other than her inventions that Eliza took pride in—cooking was one of them.

  A plump, matronly looking woman with gray hair in a tight bun approached them. “Afternoon, folks. Sit where you’d like. We’ve got rabbit stew, taters, and apple pie for dessert.”

  She pointed to the tables peppering the room. Only two of ten had people at them.

  Eliza drank in the wooden tables with mismatched chairs around them. On a table by the window someone had put wildflowers in a tin cup.

  “That one there by the window will be lovely.” She bounded over, a spring in her step.

  “Your wife sure is chipper.” The woman must have remarked to Grady.

&n
bsp; “You have no idea.” Grady’s response made Eliza’s grin wider.

  “We’ll take two plates and coffee.”

  “I’d rather have water.” Eliza waited by the table until the two of them caught up.

  “Okay, water and a coffee.” Grady sat down with a thump, and without pulling out her chair. She knew a gentleman would have done so, but she reminded herself again her companion was no gentleman.

  “Be right back.” The older woman winked at Eliza before she turned away.

  Eliza didn’t know how to react because she’d never had anyone wink at her before. This town of Montgomery was obviously a much friendlier place than the awful town they’d escaped days earlier.

  The wildflowers were a bright blue with white flecks in the delicate petals. Eliza ran her fingers down the side and smiled at the softness. This was exactly what she needed, to take another step toward a new life away from the LDS community.

  She wouldn’t think about what would happen after Grady found her sister. That time would come soon enough, and she would decide how to proceed then. A coward’s way out, but at that moment, she would accept being a coward.

  The food arrived quickly, for which Eliza was grateful. She’d had too much time with her thoughts already that day. The stew was thick and rich with potatoes and vegetables, salty and simply delicious. Eliza swallowed the first bite with a groan of pure satisfaction.

  She glanced up at Grady’s face and stopped with the spoon halfway to the bowl. His dark eyes were fixed on her, glittering with what she could only describe as hunger. She had not expected his primal reaction to her pleasure with the food, but something within her responded to him.

  Goose bumps danced up and down her skin as they stared at one another. She couldn’t look away or reach across the table and kiss him. This was what she wanted; the connection between them was just as strong as it had been.

  Her breath came in short, slow bursts while her heart thundered crazily. The moment stretched out as Grady’s intense stare made her nipples rise and press against her blouse.