Never My Girl (Always, Maybe, Never Book 3)

by S. Herrera

  “Wyatt!” She cries out my name as I drive deeper into her.

  She lays back on the counter, exposing herself to me, still wearing a black sports bra. I run my hands up her stomach and under the fabric and slide it over her head so that I can see all of her.

  I drag my hands up and down her body, admiring every curve while slowing my pace. Dragging the moment out just a little longer. But Sawyer isn’t having it.

  She wraps her legs around my waist and digs her heels into my ass, urging me to go faster. “Fuck, Sawyer.” I groan, leaning over her and kissing her stomach.

  “Wyatt, I need you.” Her hands grasp at my hair pulling my mouth up to hers.

  I wrap my arms around her, pulling her back up to sitting without ever breaking our kiss. I hold her body against mine, moving in and out at the pace she’s set.

  Her mouth breaks from mine, and little moans fall from her lips. And when her breathing changes, I know she’s close and I’m right behind.

  Driving into her a few more times, I find my release, coming apart and bringing her with me. She clenches around me, draining every last bit of pleasure from me as she rides hers out until she slowly starts to settle.

  The room is silent all except for our heavy breathing as I hold her tightly to me. I don’t want this moment to end. There is too much lingering between us and this… this was us trying to hold onto to each other the only way we knew how in the moment.

  So, I kiss her hard, one last time before lowering her to her feet and gathering up our discarded clothes as she walks down the hall to her room and the bathroom. When I hear the shower running, I take it as my cue and follow after her.

  Lying in bed next to Sawyer, I feel all the words we've been avoiding settle around us. But I want to avoid them for a little bit longer. And I get the feeling she does too.

  I swipe some hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear and decide on a different conversation. “Do you want to tell me about him?”

  She stiffens, “What? What do you mean?”

  I rub a hand down her shoulder, trying to comfort her. “I'm just thinking maybe if we talk about it, it might help. If you tell me about him and that time in your life.”

  “Oh. Okay.” She says, relaxing. “Well, when I met Erik, I was on track to have everything I thought I wanted. I just had to push myself and not step foot off that track. I needed to let off some steam and went to some dive bar with a couple of kids in one of my study groups. There was this band playing, and I thought the guitarist was cute. Turns out the people I went with knew him and they made the introductions.”

  I slide my hand down her arm to take her hand in my own, squeezing for reassurance. Reminding her that I'm here with her.

  “From then on, I was taken by him. He was older, from North Carolina and treated me like I hung the moon. So, I started missing classes, workouts, and eventually practices. My life was all about Erik. I even missed a race because he had a show out of town that same day. Then he convinced me to leave with him. After that it all started going downhill.” She looks down and away from me.

  Silently, I run my thumb across her knuckles and wait until she's ready to continue. Though I'm not sure I'm ready to hear whatever comes next. I already hate this guy.

  “At first he was so nice to me and made me feel great about myself. I didn't pick up on all the little backhanded compliments, or how slowly he got rid of everyone, everything else in my life but him. And when he'd succeeded at that, he stopped being nice all together.

  “He would tell me how my dreams of running were ridiculous, only a pipe dream. That I was too heavy. This coming from the guy who wanted to be a rockstar.” Sawyer slaps her hand against her forehead and laughs. “He even convinced me that my parents wouldn't want me back. That Knox was the golden child. Every insecurity and fear that I confided in him he used against me.”

  Rage courses through me at the thought of how he treated her and made her feel less than. I just don't understand how a man could do that to anyone. Especially not the gorgeous, smart, energetic, wild girl that I have grown to love.

  Love.

  I love Sawyer.

  This isn't as big of news as I want to pretend it is. I've known it for weeks. It's why I'm scared of being hurt. I love her.

  “Sawyer,” I hold her face in my hands, looking into her eyes. “I want you to know how wonderful and loved you are. I feel lucky that you even give me the time of day. I love you.”

  Her eyes widen at my admission, but I expected that.

  “I know that it's too soon. And I don't expect you to say it back. That's how I feel, and I just need you to know that.” Softly, I kiss her forehead and pull away.

  Not wanting her to feel pressured or for this to become a thing, I change the subject.

  “Are you excited for the party tomorrow?”

  She doesn't answer right away, staring at me in disbelief. “Umm, yeah. I can't believe Emmy's going to be a year old already.”

  Her smile is everything.

  “I can't either. What time are we supposed to be there?” I remember her saying something last week about heading over early to help them get everything set up, but then we had our fight, and I didn't get all the details.

  “Around noon, so we have the morning to ourselves.”

  “Prefect.” I say kissing her in hopes of temporarily erasing everything but this moment.

  Wyatt and I spend most of the morning lying in bed, talking about nothing and everything. I tell him about some of the fun things I experienced while travelling across the country with Erik and his band. He shares with me his experiences playing baseball for Duke, including some of the crazy girls that would gift him various clothing items after games.

  We talk about the little things that we've somehow passed over in our months of friendship and dating.

  Then our little bubble is popped, and we are forced back into the real world.

  Reality means that it’s time to handle this Erik situation. I can’t keep putting it off, and I refuse to let it cost me Wyatt… he loves me.

  In the car on the way to Knox and Everly’s house across town, I pull up the last text I had from Erik just yesterday.

  Erik: I just want to talk. Meet with me.

  I glance over at Wyatt in the driver’s seat. One hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on my knee.

  Quickly, I type a reply, hopefully buying some time to get this taken care of so that Wyatt and I can move on.

  Me: Fine. But give me a couple days. No calling, texting, or stopping by.

  I slide my phone in my pocket, planning to forget about Erik for the rest of the day.

  When we pull up to the house, Charlotte is already here, and my parents have Emmy with them until the party starts. As we walk through the gate into their yard, Wyatt tugs on my hand, pulling me closer to him.

  “And to think... it's been exactly a year since you told me I would never get the girl.” His voice is low and husky, it sends shivers down my spine when he kisses my bare shoulder.

  “Who says you did?” I challenge.

  “Oh, I got her all right.” He drops my hand and swats my butt before walking to the door and leaving me standing there wondering what has gotten into him.

  The house is filled with balloons, streamers, and various party decorations scattered on every surface.

  “Did you rob a party store?” Wyatt asks, going through the living room like it’s a game of minefield.

  Knox comes from the kitchen, looking less than impressed with pink frosting smeared across his lips and cheek. “This isn’t even all of it.”

  “So, I might have gone a little overboard. She only turns one once.” Everly says, walking out behind Knox, wiping frosting from her own face.

  “A little overboard is a bit of an understatement, don’t you think?” My brother raises an eyebrow at Everly.

  I narrow my eyes at them, noting the frosting on both of their mouths. “Eww. What were you guys doing in there w
ith the frosting? Is the cake okay?”

  “What?” Knox wipes furiously at his face, then whips his head around to his giggling wife. “You said I got it all.” When she starts laughing harder, he storms back into the kitchen, most likely to better clean his face.

  “To answer your question, the cake is perfectly fine. My kitchen, however, is not.” Everly wrinkles her nose and looks around at all the decorations scattered about. “This is a lot.”

  “Where is Charlotte? I feel like this is something she should be in charge of.” Wyatt asks, looking around.

  “Hey, I can plan a party. I am great at putting up decorations.” Everly stands there, hands on hips and looking super unimpressed as she stares him down.

  “I didn’t say you couldn’t do any of those things, but there are only three hours left until the party starts and a pile of decorations sitting in your living room.” He gestures to everything, proving his point.

  “Okay, fine. My ideas were a bit bigger than I had time for.” She throws her hands up, spinning around and going in the same direction of her husband. “She’s in the back yard putting up the decorations I finished.”

  “Let’s head out there and see what job she has for us. I refuse to go in that kitchen until the frosting is gone.” I grab ahold of Wyatt’s hand and drag him through the house and out onto the back deck where Charlotte is wrapping streamers around the railing and tying balloons anywhere that she can find.

  “Hey guys!” Charlotte greets us. “Wyatt, would you mind grabbing Knox and getting the rest of the tables set out?”

  Wyatt and I share a look and I can’t help but laugh and wish him good luck. He turns and walks into the house like a man going into battle.

  “What’s with him?” Charlotte asks, her nose wrinkled in confusion.

  “Let’s just say those two are having some fun with the frosting.” I point in the direction of the house and raise my eyebrows at her, waiting for her to catch on.

  “Ohh. Those two are like teenagers, I swear.”

  “No kidding. Now tell me where to put everything.

  We’ve barely had a moment to catch our breath between getting everything set up and the birthday girl showing up for her party.

  Knox, Wyatt, and my dad were able man the grill without arguing, and I count that as a win. Meanwhile, I helped Charlotte and Everly get all the condiments and side dishes set out. My mom greeted and mingled with everyone as they arrived.

  Once everyone has eaten, watched Emmy open presents, and had cake, things start to settle down. The birthday girl is playing in the middle of the yard with her pile of new toys, when Knox comes out with another round of beers and hands Charlotte a bottle of wine.

  “Oh, yes please.” I pick up my cup and hold it up for Charlotte to refill when she is done with her own.

  She offers the bottle to Everly, but she declines. I eye her suspiciously, then my brother who is watching her. I’ve been wondering if she might be pregnant since our trip to Baltimore, but if they haven’t shared the news yet, I won’t be the one to let the cat out of the bag.

  Slowly people start saying their goodbyes, leaving only my parents, Charlotte, Knox, Everly, Emmy, Wyatt and myself. We sit in the yard, enjoying the evening as it cools off. Everyone sharing memories of Emmy’s first year and her parents’ interesting history leading up to her birth. It’s now something we can laugh about. Well, most of us, Knox is still a little bitter about it.

  Wyatt runs his fingers through my hair while Knox tells the story of the night Emmy was born. About how Everly was more worried about finishing her pie than getting to the hospital.

  Felling the effects of the second bottle of wine Charlotte and I have nearly finished, I look up from my spot in the grass to smile at Wyatt sitting in the deck chair behind me. Laughing, he leans down, pressing his lips to mine for a quick kiss.

  “It’s a good thing I turned down a second beer, or we wouldn’t be making it home tonight.” His tone is teasing, not a hint of judgement.

  I’m not a big drinker and we both know this, but tonight, I just wanted to let loose and forget about the situation that I’m in.

  “I’m going to go grab us some waters. Do you need anything else?” I sit forward as he stands.

  “No, I’m fine.” I grin and watch him as he walks into the house.

  Charlotte is topping off our cups with last bit of the bottle remaining when I look up to see Wyatt. He’s coming back through the door that leads onto the deck. Staring right at me with my phone in his hands.

  chapter fifteen

  I grab two bottles of water from the refrigerator and spy a container of veggies and dip that Everly must have put away from the party. I take it out and put some on a plate for Sawyer, thinking that I might be able to get a little more food in her to soak up the wine before we leave.

  I make her a plate and return the container to the fridge, ready to head back outside when I hear a buzzing. Taking a look around the kitchen, it’s on the granite island that I find Sawyer’s phone lit up with a phone call.

  Erik.

  Just as I’m debating answering, the call stops and her phone returns to the notification screen showing multiple texts and missed calls from him. Without thinking I pick it up and swipe the screen open to their text conversation. What I see has me seeing red.

  Erik: I just want to talk. Meet with me.

  Sawyer: Fine. But give me a couple days. No calling, texting, or stopping by.

  Erik: I don’t want to wait.

  Erik: Call me.

  I keep scrolling, reading old messages from Erik about how he’s been showing up places. The messages go all the way back to her birthday. It’s been months of her keeping this a secret.

  Snacks and drinks forgotten, I walk back outside, a tight grip on the phone in my hand. As I’m passing through the door, Sawyer looks up and her eyes connect with mine, but not before they glimpse the phone I’m holding. The way her eyes widen in shock and fear tells me everything I need to know.

  I march straight across the yard to where she’s still sitting.

  “Wyatt…” She stands when I’m only a few steps away.

  “We need to talk.” I ground the words out harsh, but low.

  “It’s not whatever you’re thinking.”

  I scoff. If she thinks I’m merely bothered by the fact that she’s talking to her ex-boyfriend, she clearly doesn’t get it. Placing my hand on her shoulder, I try to steer her away from the group for a little privacy.

  Only, it doesn’t have the effect I’m hoping for.

  She steps out of my reach, looking at me with fire in her eyes. And not the good kind. “Don’t.”

  “Sawyer,” I draw her name out, pleading with her. I rake my fingers through my hair, tugging at the ends. I’m at a loss of what to do or say in this situation.

  After a few moments of silence where I can feel everyone’s eyes on us, she relents. Only taking a few steps back outside of the circle.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

  “Because I want to talk to him.” She throws her hands up, “And I didn’t trust you or Knox to not do anything stupid.” Her hands land on her hips and she stares up at me, daring me to argue.

  “You could have trusted me. You didn’t have to hide this. Not from me.” I glance behind me, at our friends and her family watching. “Can we go and talk about this back at your place?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it, Wyatt.” Sawyer yells, barely holding back tears. “I just want to handle this on my own and put this part of my life behind me.”

  “And that’s great. I get it. But you should have told someone. Let at least one of us be there for you.” I run my hands down my face in frustration, trying not to lose my cool with her. It’s the last thing she needs right now. “You of all people know what happened the last time you were alone with Erik. It’s not safe, Sawyer.”

  She shakes her head, finally letting a tear slip down her cheek, “I think you should go.”
<
br />   “I’m not leaving without you. Let’s just go, get some sleep and deal with this in the morning.” I reach out to take her hand, but she is quick to pull is away.

  “No, Wyatt. Just go home.” Now the tears are pouring out, leaving black streaks from her mascara, and my heart breaks a little more each time another one falls.

  “Please—” I reach for her again. At a loss of what to do, I want to hold and comfort her. But that isn’t what she wants.

  “I need you to go. I need some time and space to think.”

  “You need space from me? Why? What does that even mean?” I feel a hand on my arm and turn to see Everly, brow furrowed and concern in her eyes.

  Her eyes dart between Sawyer and I before speaking. “Is everything okay here?”

  “It's fine.” Sawyer replies at the same that I say, “No.”

  “Wyatt, can we talk?” Everly tugs on my arm, pulling me along with her when I don't answer. At the same time Knox takes a few steps forward, coming to Sawyer’s side.

  “What?” I bite out when we are away from them.

  Everly smacks me on the shoulder giving me a stern look before she asks, “What's going on?”

  “Erik’s been contacting her for months and she’s planning on meeting him. Alone.” I don’t bother to keep my voice quiet, the anger and hurt lacing each word.

  “What?” Knox roars from over Everly’s shoulder, whipping around to confront Sawyer.

  “Really?” Everly whispers.

  I nod my head in confirmation, lacking the energy to talk about this anymore. When I look over her shoulder, I watch Sawyer cry while Knox tries to talk to her. I take a step forward and Everly’s hand is back on my shoulder.

  “I don't think that's a good idea.”

  “She's hurting. What else am I supposed to do?”

  “Give her the time and space she is asking you for.” She says like it’s the most obvious answer, and I guess it kind of is.

  I want to argue and remind Sawyer that I’m here for her. To tell her that I love her and will support her anyway that I can.