Fight for You

by Charisse Spiers

  My muscles react all at once, tightening and strengthening. My breathing becomes deeper and every rational thought becomes suppressed. I look back at Stokes. I can't fight like this. I'm liable to kill him. If I forfeit this fight I could lose my contract, but if this feeling is dead on and I do nothing I'll never forgive myself. I swore the day I freed Breanna from that shit that I'd never sit back while a woman or child was abused under my nose.

  I run my wrapped hand over my hair. I'm out of time. I look back and forth between the seats and Stokes. My sweat glands start to secrete sweat more rapidly. It's probably just a coincidence. Maybe she just couldn't handle the hitting. No matter how many times I try to convince my head, my gut knows something isn't right. I look up once more and Alyvia is walking down the row toward the end. My jaw hardens, pressing against each other. Fuck it. "Forfeit the fight, Matt. It can't be any worse than tapping out."

  "What the hell, Houston? Are you sick? You can't just walk out on a televised fight. Corporate wolves will rape you for this."

  I open the gate and walk through, leaving the octagon behind. "I guess I better lube up then." I run toward the exit. Alyvia has already disappeared from sight. I don't know where else to start but the bathroom by her gate. I speed up. I'm already holding on to my awareness by a thread. One snap and I'm gone.

  "Piper! Are you in here?" The echo of Alyvia's voice is coming from the women's bathroom as I come up to it. I peek my head inside to her looking under the stalls as she walks to the end.

  "Alyvia, where is she?"

  "I don't know. I thought maybe she just needed some fresh air. She didn't act like she felt good. She was acting clumsy."

  "What the fuck, Alyvia? You didn't think that was abnormal? Why didn't you check on her?"

  "Shut up, Haddox!" She looks around as my real name slips from her lips. I don't even care right now. My internal meter telling me when something is fucked up is climbing to levels that are out of control. It's taking every ounce of my mental strength to keep him from pushing through his cage. "You don't think I'm freaking out right now without you repeating everything I'm already mentally saying to myself?"

  Everything before me is starting to blur. The need to kill is becoming immense. I growl. "Not yet, you bastard."

  "Haddox? Who are you talking to?"

  "He raped me, Haddox, and this time...I couldn't even fight him back."

  My fist connects with the bathroom wall. "I said not yet," I seethe. "Stay out of it."

  "Haddox, you're starting to scare me. Who are you talking to?"

  I look at Alyvia, working to keep the red away. My eyes are starting to water. "I'm going next door. Keep looking, Alyvia. Something isn't right."

  She nods and I run out, leaving her standing in the women's bathroom. I run down the corridor to the men's bathroom on the other side. I'm not even watching where I'm going. I know it hasn't been more than a few minutes, but I feel like it's been a decade. Panic is not a feeling I wear comfortably.

  I shove the door open and run inside. I don't immediately notice anyone. I'm about to turn around when I hear a female voice groaning in a sedated way from the handicap stall. I inch inside, not even giving thought to the fact I'm running in a public restroom barefooted and in nothing but shorts. I look under the stalls, but only see one set of legs. A belt buckle jingles and the legs of his pants start to crinkle as if he's pulling them down to his thighs. One problem: he's facing the wrong direction to be taking a piss.

  "Where's...Had-dox?" That organ that was beginning to come back to life...just plummeted to the pit of my stomach with the sound of that familiar voice, but slurred.

  "I'm right here, baby."

  "O-kay."

  A fear ignites inside that never before existed. Lock it down. "Beast, I set you free." The transformation starts to take effect like smoke filling a room.

  I kick the bathroom stall door open, ripping the metal hinge off the frame as it opens. He's holding her against the wall with her bottoms removed and lying in a pile on the floor. Her head is rolled back on the tile wall. She’s completely out of it. She has no idea I’m even standing here. He has a condom partially rolled onto his thumb, ready to slide it on the dick that's about to be severed from his body. He looks over at me. "Who the fuck are you? Don't you see we're busy, asshole? Get out!"

  A smirk spreads and my head tilts to the side as I continue to glance back and forth to make sure his dick stays away from her pussy. That's my girl, and he just met his worst nightmare. Like a hood being flipped up, he slides in place, and now the sight before me is red...like the blood I need to see. "Someone you're going to wish you never fucked with. I warned you not to touch my girl. I'm about to send you where you belong and never look back: Hell."

  My eyes begin to open, but they feel heavy. My whole body feels achy. I'm groggy and feel like I'm coming out of a three day binge, but don't remember the party. Hell, I don’t remember any alcohol except for the one beer at the fight. Oh, God. What did I do? I'm such an idiot. I always screw up everything. Haddox probably hates me now. There is no telling what I've done. When I drink, I turn into a flirty, wild drunk. I'm a partier and sometimes that works against me with people.

  I sit up slowly with a pounding headache and rest my elbows on my thighs as I place my hands on my temples. I look down at myself wearing an oversized gray tee shirt that I don’t recognize. I just now realize I'm in an unfamiliar bed by the red and black comforter enveloping me. I look around the room, but it's too dark to see anything. Where the hell am I? It reminds me of Haddox's penthouse, but cozier.

  "How are you feeling?" The low voice causes me to jump. My heart rate starts to pick up at the recognition of who it's coming from.

  I turn to my left, following the voice. Sitting in the corner of the dark room, hunkered down on the floor is a silhouette that I would recognize no matter how dark it is. "Haddox? Where am I? Why are you sitting on the floor?"

  He stands and walks toward me, but stops at the side of the bed. "How are you feeling? Do you remember anything?"

  I don't like this. He's acting weird. It's actually freaking me out a little. I grab his hand and pull down, trying to get him to sit, but he doesn't. "I've been better, but I guess by getting so drunk you black out I would deserve to feel like shit. Will you just sit down? I need to know how stupid I acted. Do you fucking hate me now?"

  He sits on the edge of the bed, but makes no attempt to get close to me. I instantly feel the need to cry. I hate myself. Why can't I just be a normal girl that wants to be in love with a guy for once? I've woken up in the hazy morning after before, learning of the ridiculous things I did the night before, but this is the first time that it makes me never want to drink again. "You do don't you? Just tell me what I did, Haddox. I can take it. It probably wouldn't be the first. I fuck up a lot. Just don't hate me, okay. Promise me you won't hate me. That, I don't think I could take. You've actually kind of become one of my best friends believe it or not."

  "Tell me the last thing you remember, Piper."

  His voice sounds pained. He's scaring me. I want to see his face. I need to look into his eyes. It's the only way I'll know how he feels. Before he can stop me I reach over to the bedside table and feel around for the light switch on the lamp. I finally get some light on and turn back to him. He looks like...shit, but he's still the sexiest man alive. What happened to him? His eyes are droopy with a cut in his eyebrow and he has shadows under his eyes as if he hasn't slept in at least twenty-four hours. I look down at his bare chest and notice a few spots of dried blood. He's only wearing pajama pants.

  I place my hand on the largest spot, but he grabs my wrist. I'm getting the feeling that more time has passed than I think. "What happened, Haddox?" Tears start to flow from my eyes. "Dammit, just tell me what I did. I'll understand if you never want to speak to me again. What kind of trouble did I get you into? I need to know."

  He leans in and presses his lips to mine. Everything feels right again, even though I kno
w something is wrong. I grab the back of his head and deepen the kiss on my own. He allows it. He's letting me take control of how far we go for some reason. It isn't Haddox. He's always in control. I stand on my knees and straddle him, taking advantage of the situation. He places his hands on my waist and squeezes. I slip my tongue inside his mouth and touch his, allowing them to glide against each other. I need his taste like I need to swallow.

  He runs his hands up my sides and snakes them around to my back, pressing me closer to him. He stops mid tongue stroke and releases my lips. "I could never fucking hate you, but it would make things much easier."

  He places one hand on my face and swipes his thumb across my tear stained cheek. With that statement some internal damn breaks inside and I can't stop. The tears fall freely as if they've been waiting ages to do so. My heart aches. He wants to hate me? It's no one's fault but my own. My wild nature has finally caught up with me. Someone I've only known a short time has become my air. I've never cared about what anyone thought of me, but him I do, and I just shattered it without even knowing how.

  He stands with me in his arms and starts to walk across the room toward a door. I'm completely unattractive right now I'm sure. I can barely breathe from the tears expelling from my eyes. I can't remember a time that I've ever shed the ugly cry. All hope of us being something has dispelled.

  He touches the wall and a light comes on. It's a bathroom, and an immaculate one at that. It doesn't match what I know of Haddox. It's not dark, but light. The walls are cream and a silvery pearl. The two colors are rotated in wide, vertical stripes on every wall, giving it a masculine but elegant feel. The countertops and the floors are a white marble with gray swirled into the stone. It's beautiful.

  Haddox sets me on the countertop between the two sinks. I still don't know where we are. He lets go of me and turns, leaving me wishing he were touching me. I'm not sure what he's doing. Maybe he's getting me ready to give me the boot. I can't say that I blame him. Guys don't want girls that don't have their shit together. I haven't had mine together for a while.

  He opens the door on the shower and turns on the water, shutting it again, and turns back toward me. He looks me in the eyes, holding me hostage with one look. "I said it would be easier, not that I wanted it. It would be easier so that I don't have to show you who I really am. I'm in deep, Piper; so fucking deep it scares the hell out of me. I've done some really bad things in my life and I've never been truly scared of anything...until last night."

  His eyes turn downcast, looking at my bare thighs. He grabs ahold of the counter in his hands. His knuckles start to turn white as if he's gripping it hard. I'm not sure I want to know, but I think that I need to. "What happened? How long has it even been?"

  He stands upright and places his hands on my knees, slowly inching them up my legs without immediately looking up. "It's been a full twenty-four hours. It's Thursday night. I wanted to kill him...more than anything." My eyes close as his fingertips brush along my skin toward the target. "I could feel it taking over my body with one look that he was about to take what was mine. My blood ran cold and all I could picture was the way it would feel to rip his limbs from his body one by one. It was a physical need...and I would have, had Alyvia not stopped me before I snapped his neck."

  My eyes open at the same time he looks into my eyes. The room is starting to fill with steam from the shower. The tears start up again, trying to fill my eyes, but this time I think they are for a different reason. "Who?"

  His mouth opens slightly and his tongue wets his bottom lip. He swallows and his Adam's apple bobs up and down on the front of his throat. "The bastard that drugged you and was about to rape you."

  They fall, one by one, unstoppable and wetting my cheeks even more than they already were. I start to breathe heavily as the last thing I remember replays in my mind: the guy standing against the wall when I didn't feel good. After that I don't remember anything.

  My chest feels panicky, then he speaks and I start to calm. "You should walk away from me, Piper. I've hurt people before. There is something inside of me that controls me from time to time. I can't stop it. I can't make him leave. He's taken residence in my body and waits patiently for me to lose control and set him free. That's only happened three times in my life...and last night was number three. You need to walk away from me before you get hurt. You shouldn't fall for a monster."

  Looking at him now, and knowing what he's capable of doing for me doesn't make me want to turn away. Instead, it makes me want him even more. To know that a man would stand up for you is the ultimate turn on. Every woman wants a protector. He's not a monster at all. If he's a monster then it doesn't matter if I fall, because I've fallen for darkness. "You won't hurt me, Haddox, and that's all that matters."

  "You don't know that. You haven't seen the repercussions of his freedom...of my anger. There are no rules. He can't be trusted or predicted. He's a monster. Once he starts he can't be stopped. He uses me as his puppet and makes me want what he has to offer. I won't let him hurt you, even if it means leaving you." That one phrase cuts me deep; more so than I would have ever thought when I met him. That is something I will avoid at all costs.

  "I'll be whatever you want me to be, Haddox, but don't leave. Whatever this thing between us is...I like it too much to stop."

  For some reason I find it hard to believe he's done anything to classify as evil. If I had to bet on it, and he's really even hurt anyone, then they deserved it in some way or another. There are different kinds of evils in the world. Those that do evil and those that stop it. I stare at him, lost in his features. His face is showing the first signs of stubble. I grab his hand from one thigh and place is under my left breast. "You won't hurt me," I repeat. "I know it in here. If you're a monster then I'm a monster too. You can't tell me I shouldn't fall, because it's already done."

  He growls and grabs the bottom hem of my shirt, pulls it up my body, and removes it. His eyes consume all of me with one look. He grabs my thighs and pulls me to the edge of the counter. "I want you with a fierceness I can't explain, but I'm not good. This is your warning. I will bring you down. There is no way to avoid it if you stay."

  I wrap my arms around his neck and lock my legs on his waist. "Those that see no evil do no evil, yeah?" I close in on him, placing my lips just outside his ear. "Protecting someone important to you or someone that is a victim doesn't classify you as a monster, it makes you a hero, no matter what happens to the villain."

  He picks me up with force and turns in the direction of the shower. He places me against the wall beside the door roughly, taking my lips in his. He releases me, allowing me to hold my own weight on him and discards his pants and briefs. He runs the tips of his fingers up my thigh, dipping them between my legs into the edge of my panties. My muscles reflexively contract as he touches my skin just beside the point of entry, but stops and opens the shower door, stepping inside.

  He closes the door and I'm desperate for him to touch me again. My emotions are at their peak and I need to get out of my head. I want to go into the world I know he can take me to. The water is only warm, I guess to avoid using all the hot while we weren't underneath it. He adjusts the temperature, making it hotter. "I want you, Haddox. I did the first night I met you and I still do today. Nothing you do or have done will change that."

  He walks me closer to the shower wall, setting me on my feet. He splays his hands across my lower back, underneath the band of my panties, and pushes them over my butt, letting them fall to the floor. Water runs down our bodies, washing the filth of last night down the drain. I can't take my eyes off of him. His silence is making my nerves twist and turn into knots.

  Haddox steps forward, pushing me against the wall, outside of the range of water. He places each hand beside me on the wall, standing underneath the water. He never closes his eyes as it rains on top of his head, pouring down his face. The water ripples down his muscles. I can barely breathe at the sight before me. I haven't seen a time yet that he isn't
breathtaking and beautiful, but still dominating. "Then I have to do the one thing I've never done before. You leave me no choice but to tell you everything in time and the choice will be yours, but you'll change your mind at some point, beautiful. Remember what I told you: darkness and light can't coincide. You have to pick a side. You haven't seen the worst of me. You were in a sedated state when we left him bloodied and close to dead, but I'd do it all over again to know that you still have a choice. You'll always have a choice, Piper. I'll kill to preserve it and die to protect it. Your right to choose should never be stolen from you."

  The hardness in his tone gives me chills. I can hear the passion in the words as they roll off his tongue. I want to know his inner secrets; what he's gone through. My heart is racing. My nerves are on edge. Every emotion is going off like fireworks in a rotation.

  I want to tell him how I feel so bad, but I can't. I refuse. It hasn't been long enough. I would just sound crazy at this point. I'll only risk fucking this up and I can't do that. I won't. I don't only want him. I need him. I want to show him that love exists. I want to prove to him that he's wrong and that he's capable of love. In due time I will. I don't care how long it takes. Right now, I'm okay with just being in his arms. "Touch me, Haddox. I'm asking you to."

  "I'm okay with no sex, Piper. It would be selfish to even think of sex at a time like this. I meant it when I said I wanted to get to know you. That's not why I brought you to my home. This is my hideaway. No one will find you here. You came so damn close to being in a really bad situation had I not gone looking for you."

  His home. He brought me to his home. It's the first time I've heard him refer to his residence as a home and not a house. It's the only thing I can think about. That has to mean something. That and the fact he went looking for me. It arises more questions, but I'm leaving it alone for now. "Please, Haddox. I'll beg. We can get to know each other in daylight. Right now, I want you to show me how scared you were. I need it for me. It's okay, I'm not made of glass."