Sicko

by Amo Jones

  He’s in loose faded designer jeans, military boots, and a casual black shirt. But there’s something over his shirt that catches my eye. Well, two things catch my eye actually…

  The first thing is the embroidered patch that’s sewn into his left pec.

  Wolf Pack Motorcycle Club.

  And second, I’m pretty sure Royce Kane hates me.

  My eyes burn from not blinking. This time his scowl is matched with a dark smirk that spreads over his swollen lips. “Well, didn’t you grow up…”

  I’m not gonna lie, seeing her squirm in my presence is fascinating. She was my fucking world the day her sad little soul entered our house. I mean, I wanted a brother, but Jade wasn’t half as bad as what I thought having a little sister would be like. She hated Barbie dolls and preferred Transformer trucks. Not much else I could complain about, until she grew tits.

  “Duchess.” I smirk, throwing out her nickname. I loved the little shit when she was growing up. Now I can’t. I won’t.

  She flinches from the use of her nickname, and I also didn’t miss the scan she did over me as soon as she saw me. Then I watched as the blood drained from her face when she read my patches.

  “Great!” Mom says, clapping her hands. “Dinner is ready.” She hooks her arm in mine as if I’ve walked back after a weekend away, not four fucking years. “Royce, please tell me you haven’t joined a motorcycle gang…”

  I unlatch from her grasp and follow behind as Dad hushes Mom’s rant and Jade falls into step slightly behind me.

  When our parents are out of earshot, I turn my head slightly over my shoulder with a smug grin. “What’s the matter, Duchess, didn’t miss me?”

  Her eyes meet mine, defiance flashing over them briefly before it’s gone. “Never.”

  I chuckle, turning to face her fully. Just before we’re about to turn into the kitchen, I slam my hands against the wall, backing her up against it and caging her in. The tip of my nose glides over her cheek as I inhale her sweet, innocent flesh. She’s like a breath of fresh air after being face down in club girl pussy. Only her air is fucking laced with poison. “You should be scared, Duchess. You’re not safe from me anymore.” My eyes drop down her little body, taking in the soft curves that stretch out over her otherwise delicate stature.

  “You two!” Dad calls from the dining room. “What’s taking so long?”

  Tense bastard.

  I push off the wall, knowing full well no one can see us. Fucking hate my rich-ass parents and their rich-ass house.

  “You might be right, Royce.” She squares her shoulders and looks me deep in the eye. “But I’m not the same girl you left behind either.”

  “Oh yeah?” I smirk, running my tongue over my bottom lip. “How so?”

  “I have teeth now.” She shoves past me.

  Before I can grab her little ass and back it up against the wall, my phone vibrates in my back pocket. I don’t bother to tell the old man that I’ll be in in a second, because he knows I’ll be in in a second.

  “What?”

  “Ah,” Fluff mutters. “Did I catch you at a bad time?” There’s shuffling in the background. “Sorry, Sicko, it’s just Lion told me that I can call you about—” Fluff, our new prospect, stammers on the other end of the phone.

  I attempt to count to fucking ten, because my old therapist once said it’ll help. The same therapist I used to bend over her desk every month until she was dripping over my cock and calling me daddy, so… maybe she was wrong. Letting me anywhere near your pussy is not something a smart woman would allow. I’d break your heart right after I break your ovaries.

  “What is it?” I snap. “You know I’m away, so this better be a fucking emergency.”

  “Oh, it is. Sorry.”

  “Stop saying fucking sorry.”

  “Oh, right, ah, so, Roo has been shot and we’re wondering what we should do.”

  My jaw tenses. “Is it a fatal wound?”

  There’s more shuffling and then Lion’s old ass voice comes through. Lion is our club president. How he got that name is a long fucking story. Mine is Sicko, and that’s also… a long fucking story.

  “Can always count on my VP to put the fear of God into the prospects.” Lion chuckles down the phone.

  “Maybe we need to reevaluate who we are letting drag their feet through our clubhouse then.”

  “I think Fluff is a good one. You’ve just got to be nice.”

  “I’m never nice. You know this.”

  He chuckles again, and I can just imagine the cigar hanging from between his frail lips.

  “Is it fatal?” I ask again, sighing.

  “It’s not. Just wanted to scare Fluff. You make him nervous. I think he actually shits himself every time he has to talk to you. How are the parents?”

  “Same, same. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

  “Yeah, alright,” Lion grunts. “Anything I need to know?” The question doesn’t throw me off. Lion always asks it. The fucking hypersensitive prick.

  “If you did, you’d know.” I hang up my phone and make my way back into the kitchen, pulling out the chair opposite Jade and sinking into the plush leather. My eyes never leave hers.

  She picks up her glass of water and empties it in one go, all while trying her hardest to not have to look at me.

  “Son, how have you been?” my father asks beside me, cutting into his steak. We lose ourselves in conversation about normal ass shit that I used to be into. I feel bad, I fucking do. I felt bad the day I walked away from all of them with the intention of never returning. That boy with an attitude problem turned into a man with issues. Real fucking issues. But until recently, I’ve found myself having to drag my ass back to this house for the very reason I fucking left.

  Her.

  “Royce,” my mom mutters, patting her mouth with her linen napkin and placing it daintily onto the table. “Please tell me you haven’t joined a motorcycle club.”

  Dad silences beside me.

  My eyes find Jade, who isn’t watching me smugly, she’s more bored. Blank and expressionless. She’s a mere fucking shadow to the girl I once knew. She doesn’t want to be here anymore than I do. When we were kids, she had a glow about her, even when we would fight. There was fire that lit up her aura. Now that fire seems to have burned.

  “I have. Been there for four years now, Ma.”

  “Where is there, and why, Royce?”

  I toss my napkin onto my plate. Guess we’re doing this now. “LA. Not too far from you.” My eyes cut to Jade’s. “But far enough.”

  “Aren’t you going to say something, Jade?” My mother vocally gasps at Jade. “You two were always so close…”

  Jade chokes on her water. It was no secret how close Jade and I were. Everyone called Jade my pet. She was always hanging off my arm, wanting to do everything with me, Orson, and Storm, and she was the only one who was allowed. Pissed a lot of bitches off, the fact that they couldn’t ride with us, but my little foster sister could, but they dealt with it. Jade would make my birthday cake every year too, her and Mom in the kitchen getting messy while Dad was always away doing business shit.

  “I have nothing to say,” Jade mutters. “Actually, can I be excused?” Mom flicks her wrist, agreeing and Jade shuffles out of the dining room, my eyes never straying from her. When she jogs up the stairs, I watch as her ass bounces with each step.

  I bite my lip and grin. If she wasn’t my foster sister, I’d have that parked on my shit for at least two business days.

  “Kyle?” My mom points at my old man.

  He looks at me, and I look at him and all of that awkward bullshit that happens anytime someone is in trouble.

  “Mom? I’m twenty-fucking-two years old. I don’t need you stressing. I survived on my own, with my brothers, for four years.”

  “That’s beyond the point, Royce! I have been so stressed. You have—” Her tears start coming, and it’s the first time I look at her. Really fucking look at her. She has aged drasticall
y since I left. Wearing her hair short, wrapped around her jaw. Wrinkles line the curves around her eyes, but we all know she gets injections on her forehead.

  “Sorry, Ma… wasn’t the plan.”

  “So what happened?” Mom asks, finally bringing her eyes to me.

  “I can’t talk about that with you.”

  She sighs, standing and clearing the table. “Well, I hope you at least visit more often.”

  I stand with her, gazing to my old man who is watching me carefully. “Been a very empty house without you, boy…” Dad, on the other hand, looks good for his age. But then, he always fucking did. If only the good looks and charm can hide what lingers beneath the savage businessman that is Kyle Kane.

  I punch his arm, a little on the rough side. “How much are you benching?”

  He shakes his head and laughs. “More than you.” I go into the kitchen and help Mom with the dishes.

  “Where’s Louise?” I ask, wondering where the maid is. She always walked her old ass around our house doing all the shit my mom was supposed to be doing instead of shopping with her friends.

  Mom sighs, putting dish after dish into the washer. “I let her go not long after you left. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes I did with you with Jade too.”

  Her eyes go out to the front of the house where the excessive garage curves around. “She screamed for you every night for the first year, waking up in a sweat. Then it just stopped. Like she gave up.”

  My lips pinch together. Wish I could say I gave a fuck, but I didn’t. I felt for the young Duchess, not the one that’s sitting her pert little ass upstairs now.

  “Yeah, well, shit changed…”

  Mom brings her hands up to my cheeks. “Don’t be a stranger. That’s an order. And when you’re ready, I’m here if you want to talk about whatever happened.”

  “Sure thing, Ma.”

  Not going to fucking happen.

  After helping Mom clean up, I say goodbye to them both and then head out to my bike. Swinging my leg over my Dyna Glide, I kick start her to life and listen as she rumbles underneath me. Putting a cigarette into my mouth, Jade’s bedroom light catches the corner of my eye. The only light that’s on on that level. I blow out a cloud of smoke.

  One day soon, your ass will be sitting in my clubhouse, and it won’t be by choice.

  “Are you happy that we’re finally attending the same college?” Sloane mutters, pushing her sunglasses over her eyes as she floats on top of the water, courtesy of our inflatable unicorn. We had plans to go out tonight, but I squashed them after Royce’s appearance a few days ago. He has thrown me off balance.

  “I am.” I kick my legs in the water to get farther away from the edge.

  She removes her glasses, her eyes gazing up to the big house behind me. “This place gives me the creeps.”

  I shrug. “You’re not alone. Shall we go get food?”

  “I seriously just can’t wait to get the fuck out of San Francisco and back to LA.”

  I laugh, splashing her with water. “It’s not that bad…”

  But she’s right. I can’t wait either. We both climb out of the pool and grab our towels, and I wrap one around my body before squeezing the excess water from my thick, long mane. I let it grow out a lot longer since Royce left. I don’t know why, but his name is stuck inside of my brain and isn’t leaving. Not that it left at all in the past four years, but it simmered. Somewhat.

  “Okay, so. I know you don’t want to talk about the trio, but did you watch Orson’s game last night?”

  My mind drifts into outer space at the mention of one of my brothers.

  I nod, popping off the lid to my water bottle and taking a sip. “Never miss a game.”

  “Man, he is amazing. And sexy as fucking ever—an—”

  “—almost married.” I glare at her with narrowed eyes. Orson is about to marry India from school. Twist of fate, she ended up being the daughter of the cook his father hired, which was why she had appeared at the party that night. Apparently, they got into the same school too. Cute. For some people, it just works out.

  Sloane groans, stomping her foot as we make our way back into the house. “Is he really though? I mean, just because they’re having a child together, I don’t see why they have to get married.”

  I shake my head, scolding Sloane. “He’s literally in love with her. He tells me all the fucking time, and she is a good woman. Stop it. Drop Orson.” One, because I don’t feel like talking about him in the sense that it’s bringing back thoughts of seeing Royce just the other night, and two, I’ve only just started talking with Orson and Storm again after they left to go on with their lives. They didn’t want to leave me so soon after Royce, but it’s not like they had a choice. They had to move on with their life and do what they needed to do. I’m not sure either of them could really help me anyway. I loved my brothers, but I was certain that having them around would only intensify the pain that Royce inflicted with his absence. Like constant reminders of what I had and lost.

  “Fine.” Sloane snickers, kicking my door closed behind herself while making her way to the duffel bag that’s at the end of my bed. “But text Matty to see what he’s doing, since I’m bored. We need to have a final SF drink because I’m never coming back here.”

  After Royce left, I was a shell of the girl I once was, and I don’t think I’ll ever find a home there again. My friends did their best, but the best didn’t help when all I wanted was him.

  “Come on, Jade!” my mom yells from downstairs. “We’re going to be late if we don’t get on the road right now. It’s a long drive.” I love my Mom. I agreed to stay behind and do my first year at Stanford after she had her first panic attack. It took a while for me to convince her that she wasn’t losing “both” her kids and that attending UCLA was always my end game. I wanted to be with Sloane and to branch out away from The Bay area. She came to the idea eventually, but was adamant that she was driving me.

  “Coming!” I holler, throwing my backpack over my shoulder. I take one last look around my bedroom. The dark purple walls aged into a burned lilac; the bed unmade. I won’t miss it at all. Memories flash through my head.

  The bed.

  The walls.

  The scent.

  Once I reach downstairs, I open my car door and glare at her. “You do know I’m totally capable of driving myself? It’s why you bought me this pretty BMW M8 Grand Coupe. You know. So I can drive this ridiculously expensive car and be safe.”

  She waves me off, putting her seatbelt on in the passenger seat. “Nonsense. I get to fly home. It works perfectly.”

  There was a pileup on the highway which extended our travel time further. The drive was long. So freaking long that we ended up stopping for a night to break the trip in half. But it’s Sunday and I am here. Finally.

  I slam the door closed and smile at Mom.

  “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” she whispers, her eyes never falling from mine. I love my mom. She’s everything a girl would ever ask for in one, but she isn’t perfect. No parent is, only mine failed me a little more than most.

  “Thanks, Mom. I wa—”

  I hear a loud rumble of bikes behind me, but I don’t turn. There’s no point. It won’t be him and bikers obviously go to college too.

  The bikes pull up right beside my car and my mom’s face pales before a smile stretches wide. I already know what she’s going to say before his name leaves her lips.

  “Royce?”

  My mouth snaps closed, still refusing to turn and face the music.

  “I wasn’t expecting you—all of you…”

  “Hey, Ma, thought I’d come see my little sister off on her first day at a brand-new college. You know, catching up on those years…” His voice was like silk inside of a bad dream. You knew you shouldn’t listen to the way it sashays in the wind, but you can’t help but be hypnotized by it.

  I finally turn to face him, but I’m momentarily thrown by how many bikers there are behi
nd him, as well as an older man on the bike to the side. They’re all wearing the same leather vests.

  “Thanks, Royce, but it really wasn’t necessary…” I try to contain the bite in my tone, but I wasn’t kidding about the teeth thing… I don’t fucking need him anymore, and it’s too fucking late. Anger rushes through me, down to the tips of my fingers.

  Royce places a cigarette between his smirking lips, his head tilting to the side as he watches people pile into the school. “Nah, Duchess, it really was…”

  I sigh, because I truthfully can’t be fucked arguing with him right now. “Well, thanks…” My eyes flick to all the guys. “You can leave now.”

  He removes his helmet, dropping his cigarette to the ground and putting it out. “I’m walking you up.”

  “Royce,” Mom says. “A word?”

  “Not right now, Ma. I told you that I’ll come see you next weekend. I’m just here to make sure Jade gets settled in.”

  I lick my lips, rolling my eyes. “Fine.” I throw my backpack into his chest. “You can carry this.” There’re a few grunts and chuckles from his friends, but I ignore them all and make my way to the front doors. There’s another reason why he’s here. He doesn’t give a damn how settled I get. He’s not Royce Kane anymore. He’s the big bad biker with big bad friends and with a hole the size of Mars in his chest where his heart used to be.