Sicko

by Amo Jones

  Kyle brings his eyes to Royce. “So many things to tell you, so little time. How about you take me somewhere else, so we can have this discussion. Preferably somewhere where Lion is too.”

  Royce looks over his shoulder at Isaac.

  Isaac shrugs, gesturing to Kyle. “You take him away from this scene, no one will ever know who K Diamond is. There will be no coverage. No trial. He gets no media attention, and it’s hidden. Essentially, that rage you feel will burn out, and then all you’ll have left is the stained bullshit he will leave on your hands, kid. You could kill him here and now and have my team run through it, but you’d have to live without knowing whatever it is he’s hiding, or you can take him, and the stain that comes from his kill.”

  Royce doesn’t need to think twice, he puts a cigarette between his lips and blazes the end. “Got enough stains to paint a fucking Helen Frankenthaler piece, Isaac. I’ll take option one.”

  We arrive back at the clubhouse a little after that, Storm using that time to wipe the servers clean that showed Wolf Pack’s involvement. Legally, it’s going to look like a bloodbath, but in the midst of it, Storm said he managed to turn it into something else.

  I’m wearing Royce’s cut that falls to my upper thighs as I walk up the stairs that lead to the clubhouse, my heavy heels clicking against the pavement. Turning to the left, Bonnie’s blood stains are still visible on the ground, and my heart stings all over again, unable to contain the hurt from losing her. What I went through today—aside from the killing—is something I go through all the time with Kyle, so over the years, it has numbed.

  The death of Bonnie is new, fresh, and the sting of her death still sharpens everywhere I turn.

  I push the door open and step inside, sobbing silently, hoping no one can hear.

  “Jade?” Karli asks from the top of the stairwell, dropping the dishcloth she had in her hand and rushing down the stairs. Her arm flies around me as she guides me back up the stairs. I lose it. The sobs that wrack through me pull at my chest and cripple my bones. Waves of overwhelming pain slap me across the face as an anchor clamps around my throat, pulling me deeper and deeper into bottomless depths of unholy water. My throat contracts so tight that I struggle to breathe, just as Kara enters and hooks her hand around the other side of my back.

  “Come on, girl. We’ll get you tidied up.” I want to tell them thank you but no, that I want to be alone, but I can’t gather the energy to push them away. They just watched their best friend die. I doubt they want to mess around with me.

  Kara pushes the door to Royce’s room open and directs me to his bathroom, turning on the shower to scorching hot. The sobbing has stopped, my face unmoving. I feel frozen, my eyes dead. The range of emotions I have gone through in the last few hours isn’t something I’m familiar with.

  I need something.

  Something to take the edge off.

  Kara opens up the cupboard in the bathroom as Karli turns my arm over.

  “We need to clean this up before you get in the shower. I think it’s stopped bleeding, but we can put some butterfly stitches on it.”

  Kara finally finds the first-aid kit and I faintly hear her rummaging through the supplies.

  “She’s withdrawing,” Karli whispers to Kara.

  Kara stills. “No, she’s not a fucking druggie, Karli!”

  “I didn’t say that!” Karli snaps. “But you forget what I’ve gone through. She. Is. Withdrawing.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I say through shaky lips. I reach for the antiseptic wipes but my hands shake. “Fuck.” I know I’m strong enough to overcome the surges. “This is the first time he did this.”

  “First time?” Karli says, keeping her eyes on mine while blindly reaching for a wipe. “You’re going to get through this real fast—” Cold stinging erupts through my flesh as she swipes away the germs. “I have a dark past. I can tell you now, one time will be better than one thousand.” I remain quiet, not wanting to talk, or chat, or do anything. My mouth is as dry as cotton, my limbs limp. “In the shower!”

  Karli leads and I gaze down at my arm to see she had put the butterfly stitches on perfectly. Removing Royce’s vest from around my semi-naked body, Karli folds it up and places it onto the counter.

  Kara comes behind me and unclasps my bra before removing my panties and helping me into the shower. “The boys will be back soon enough, okay? Royce will be back after they’ve done what they needed to do.”

  They both begin to wash me, from my hair, to my body, back to my hair, all while being careful around my cut. One of them hits the faucet and wraps a warm, fluffy towel around me, as I step out of the shower.

  “Kara has laid out some clothes for you.”

  I take the vest in my hand, needing it near me as we enter back into the room.

  I pause when I see Royce sitting on the bed, his hands covering his face.

  Kara and Karli both look at each other, nod, and then leave, closing the door behind themselves. I squeeze Royce’s vest in my fingers, staying put.

  “He’s in the back. Ready to spill all his secrets.” His voice is strained, weak. I take the steps I need to reach him, kneeling down and curling my finger beneath his chin so he’s looking directly at me. Seeing his obvious pain is like being shot directly in the heart. His eyes are glassy, his lashes damp.

  “Roy, it’s me.”

  His eyes widen for a second, the muscles relaxing in his face.

  I lay his vest over my thighs and bring both of my hands to his face. I lean forward and press my lips to his. “Have your moment, but have it with me.”

  I watch as the first tear falls from the corner of his eye and he sniffs.

  “I fucking had to leave. I couldn’t stay—you—he used you! It was all a lie. A game. He—” His eyes turn frantic as his shoulders slack. He exhales, shaking his head and hanging it between his shoulders. “He was my fucking dad, Jade.”

  “Hey.” I bring my hand back to his cheeks, my thumb gliding over his bottom lip. “Look at me.” He does, his jaw tight. “You’re here now. We’re together now. We will go out there, he will tell us everything, you will tell me everything, and I, you, and—” I pause, picking up his colors and bringing it down over his hard shoulders. “—We will deal with this together.” As soon as his cut is back on him, his arm is around my body and he’s pulling me onto his lap.

  Wrapping my arm around the back of his neck, I run the tip of my nose over his. “We’ve got this.”

  He kisses me on the mouth. “Get changed.” His body hardens beneath me, his eyes turning hard. Not for me. But for Kyle. “Daddy’s time is up.”

  If white noise was a feeling, it would be what is stirring inside of me right now as I look down at the man who I idolized all of my fucking life. Memories flash through my brain as he watches me pace back and forth on the back lawn, only every time a memory arises, I picture all the things he did to Jade—the things I know about.

  “Where’s Lion?” he asks, but it’s not the tone I’m used to. He sounds different.

  I don’t answer.

  Wicked, Orson, Storm, and Jade are behind me, and I can almost feel the courage she’s pouring into me. She’s not just my rock, she’s my whole fucking world. I knew that from day one. My life began with her, and it’ll end with her.

  “Let me guess.” Kyle laughs. “He’s putting a hit out on the cartel…” His eyes meet mine. “Except, it wasn’t him who killed little old Bonnie, it was me.”

  I stop walking. “What?”

  “Well, you see, I killed their Capo, and then made your signature kill, before hiring a couple of idiots to shoot up your compound. I started a war between you both. Really, it was to get Jade back—”

  My fist flies straight into his face until blood splatters over me.

  “You don’t get to say her name.” Wrapping my fingers around the leather handle of my knife, I bring the tip to his throat, just below his ear. “This pressure point right here, it’s a silent kill spot. If you press
hard enough—” I slightly turn my knife but pull back. “It will kill you by draining your blood over the course of hours. But I won’t kill you like that. That’s a peaceful way to die.”

  “Why?” I hear Lion ask from behind me, and I still, shocked to hear him. “Why?”

  Lion moves closer until he’s in front of Kyle. “We knew it was you. The cartel, we all did.” Lion gestures behind himself. “You see the boys at the front of the house? All that back up was to storm your sick little complex. It wasn’t for the cartel war.” I smirk at Kyle, ambling backward.

  “But you see,” Lion further says. “We’re in a situation, because you owe all of us. You have taken something from every single one of us who stands here today.” Lion takes a seat on a chair opposite Kyle, but close enough to reach him. “Why?”

  Kyle brought his eyes to Lion. “She was my best.”

  “Who was?” Lion asks, and I see his patience wearing thin. If he says Jade’s name one more fucking time, I’m going to put my knife through the center of his skull. Fuck the torture game.

  Kyle’s mouth curves up, displaying his blood sodden teeth. “Olivia. Snow.”

  Lion shoots from the chair, grasping Kyle by the collar and yanking him to his feet. “What’d you say, motherfucker?”

  Holy fuck. I step between the two of them, yanking Kyle back to his chair while glaring at Lion. “I get it, brother, I do, but we need to split this fair.”

  “It’s no longer about Bonnie only,” Lion says, glaring at Kyle. “He had something to do with Olivia.”

  “Who the fuck is Olivia?” I say, while everyone remains silent in the background. Good choice. Lion in this kind of episode never ends pretty. His eyes come to mine finally. “My old lady.”

  His words slide into place and I turn to face Kyle. “Enough. What the fuck is he talking about?”

  Kyle smiles up at me, his eyes flicking between me and Lion. He’s enjoying the pain he’s inflicting on us now. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know, after all, all I have are secrets.”

  “Why!” I snap. “Why play the perfect father all my life to turn into the villain?”

  “Olivia Snow was my first lady, and only lady, until Jade.” I have to clench my fist to stop myself from strangling him. Hearing her name come out of his vile lips tests all the restraint I already don’t have. Kyle continues. “Had her since she was but a little girl, lost in the world yet only a few years younger than I.”

  “Olivia would never willingly walk beside you,” Lion growls, and Wicked is standing on the other side of him now, holding him back. I’m missing something here.

  “Well.” The way Kyle’s lips curl over his teeth has me fantasizing about knocking them all clean out. “She did, until things turned sinister and she saw how truly evil I was. But by then it was too late. It was too. Late.”

  “What’d you do to her?” Lion asks tightly, his tone dropping to icy levels.

  “Me? Nothing.” Kyle’s eyes flick to Jade. “Her, though?”

  We all turn to Jade, who peers at us all in shock. “I don’t know what he’s talking about.” I see the honesty. We promised each other honesty.

  Kyle snorts. “You’re all so quick to point the fucking blame. Not her as in she killed Olivia, well not really.” I watch as the corner of his mouth kicks up in a grin, his eyes coming to Lion. “Tell me, did you not wonder why Jade’s eyes looked so familiar?”

  What the fuck is he talking about now.

  Lion stills. “What the fuck are you sayin’?”

  “She’s your daughter, Lionel. Olivia was pregnant when she left you. Pregnant and trying to fucking run.”

  Lion stands from his chair and stumbles backward. “You’re lying, motherfucker.”

  What the fuck.

  “I’m really not. Get a test, but I’m sure you don’t need one when you look into those eyes.” A sharp beeping sound grows louder and louder behind my ears. “I allowed Olivia to see you, because by the time she had fallen in love with you, I had other plans and was building The Complex. I was busy, you fucked her right and kept her happy, and my taste was becoming more and more picky when it came to age. You kept her out of my hair, but you weren’t supposed to get her pregnant.” I run the palm of my hand over my cheek, being slapped with honesty is harder than I anticipated.

  “What?” Jade’s wobbly voice finally breaks through, stepping closer to Kyle, but my hand flies out, stopping her from coming any closer. “What the fuck do you mean, Kyle? You told me I was dumped on your doorstep.”

  “Well, fuck.” Kyle’s eyes bug out of their sockets. “Guess I’m a liar too?”

  I grind my teeth, squashing this information for later. “Why? Why run me out of town, and Orson, and Storm!”

  Blind thunder claps in the sky as I feel the first raindrop tap the tip of my nose. The smell of murder and damp asphalt is a heady combination tonight.

  Kyle doesn’t hesitate. “To get you away from Jade. I knew you were going to be an issue the second I picked up on the love you both had for each other. I couldn’t have you taking what was rightfully mine. She is mine.”

  I flick my knife between my fingers and launch it into his thigh. Leaning down while pressing my free hand on his other knee, I inch in close, until my nose is almost touching the tip of his. “She will never be yours. You may have been able to get me away from her, but it’s my name she went to sleep whispering at night, and it’s my name she screams when I’m between her thighs, and it’s my name that is engraved into her heart. All you did was fuck with fate.” I leave the knife there, pushing away from him.

  “You did that to all of us to get us away from Jade…” Storm repeats, as if needing the words to sink into his brain. “Makes sense.”

  Kyle bares his teeth, and I see the pain that flashes across his face from my knife. “She was going to be better than Olivia ever was, and for a brief moment, she was—”

  “—until I came back.” I smirk at Kyle, taking the seat that Lion was on, directly opposite him.

  “Hmm,” Kyle grunts. “Why was that?”

  I lean forward. “Because you can’t fuck with fate.”

  Lion is my father, and my mom is dead. My real parents. People I didn’t think I would ever know. I can’t help but find myself studying every inch of Lion’s face when he’s not looking. Stealing glances of him when I can. I no longer care about Kyle and the evil which exists within him. I’ve spent too many years being touched and caressed by it that now, now that he’s at our mercy, I don’t want to go near him. I wished for this day so many times over the years, but now that it’s here, finally staring at me point-blank in the face, I am no longer interested. Piqued by the revelation of knowing my biological father is too captivating, it’s all I want to know. I want to know everything about him.

  Fuck Kyle.

  Fatigue is pulling me deeper and deeper into myself, but I will not walk away. Not because I need to see the violence that’s about to occur, because I honestly don’t, but because I promised Royce that I would be here, standing right beside him, through it all. I owe it to him and to myself to be that person for him.

  “You came back for her? How sweet.” Kyle chuckles. Royce has been patient for the most part. “You disobeyed me!” Kyle roars, his eyes flaring with anger. “You were going to pay for it!”

  “I fucking did disobey you.” Royce starts cutting through Kyle’s clothing until his shirt is split open, baring his chest before cutting through his pants. It’s oddly pleasing seeing Kyle look so powerless for once. Over the years that I endured his abuse, that’s one thing that he never looked.

  Powerless.

  I want to ask questions. Like what Royce means by driving him, Orson, and Royce out of town, and who my mother really was, but I already know that I wouldn’t want any other view on my mother that doesn’t come from Lion.

  Those things can wait.

  “And why?” Kyle further asks, watching Royce.

  “Why did I come back?” Royce as
ks, stepping backward while regarding Kyle closely. He cocks his head. “Because Jade.”

  “Sick!” someone calls out from behind us and we all shift to see who it is.

  Roo jogs over, leaning into Royce’s ear to whisper something, his eyes coming to me every few seconds.

  Royce pulls out the chair and takes a seat, as Roo disappears back where he came from. “How about why did you do all of this?”

  When Kyle doesn’t answer, Royce raises his foot and drops it down on top of his knife that’s sticking out of Kyle’s leg.

  Kyle cries, wincing. His eyes come to Royce as saliva falls from his mouth, his lip curled. “Why, what? I told you. Jade was mine.”

  Royce chuckles before leaning forward, pulling the knife from his thigh and launching it into his other. “Last chance.” Royce leans over, and I stop breathing.

  “He did it because he’s a bad man, Royce. That’s it.” I take a step toward him, my hand coming to his shoulder. Did I know if this was true? No. Was I going to allow Royce to hold any of the blame for his father being a sick, twisted monster? Also no. I rest my other hand on his other shoulder, and I lean down, my eyes on Kyle as he watches the way Royce and I fold into each other. “Sometimes people are just bad. There’s no reason why they’re bad, or no defining moment that made them snap, sometimes, they’re just evil.”

  “Hmmm,” Kyle says, shuffling in his chair. The day is turning to night, while clouds clap together in the sky. My exhaustion from today is heavy. “If only it were that simple.”

  Lion’s eyes come to me. “Should have seen it earlier. How much you resemble her.” Taken aback by his admission, I find myself stumbling over the words I want to say.

  Thank you? I’m sorry?

  I look to Kyle. “What happened to her?”

  Kyle spat blood from his mouth, glaring up at me from below his lashes. “She, let’s just say—disappeared without a trace.”

  “Bu—” A loud bang explodes from the front of the clubhouse and I fall to the ground, the sound zoning in and out of my ears. Dust particles fall all around us in gray clouds of smoke. My head thumps, my skin aches. Someone heavy is on top of me, yelling and screaming in the distance. I can’t hear what anyone is saying over the sharp ringing in my ears, but I think it’s something like, “Run!”