Alien Tango

by Gini Koch

  “We can’t fit,” Christopher said.

  “Sit on the convertible part and put your legs on the seat.”

  “You’re kidding.” Martini sounded as though he was going to argue more.

  “No. Do it, and hang onto the convertible stuff so you don’t fall out.”

  They clambered in, with much grousing. “We’re in, if you can call it that,” Christopher snarked.

  “Great.” I was going to get off the hood and climb into the back, too. But wisdom and experience had me hook my purse over my neck first.

  “Kitty, ACE has to let the animals go or Paul will not be well.”

  I knew it was too good to last. “James?”

  “Yes, girlfriend?”

  “Floor it.”

  “WHAT?” Martini was bellowing, but fortunately Christopher had a hold of him as we took off. To use the phrase loosely.

  “Jeff, just stay there! I’ve done this before.”

  “You have?” Lorraine asked me. She reached over and grabbed my arm. “Why?”

  “College broadens your horizons and all that.” I looked behind me. The alligators seemed confused. “Christopher, make a copy of me and toss it into the ’gators!”

  As I watched, I saw a reasonable facsimile of myself appear in the middle of the alligators. They weren’t fooled by the lack of scent, but some of them were curious enough to try a bite, just in case. So that was what a feeding frenzy would look like. I looked back at the other occupants. It was night, but the moon was full, and I could see the horror in everyone’s expressions.

  “James? Can we get more speed out of this thing?” Martini’s voice was very calm, very controlled.

  “Trying. It’s kind of overloaded.” Reader downshifted.

  “Why are you doing that?” Christopher asked, sounding only a little less calm than Martini.

  “He’s going into a lower gear to get more power. It burns out the engine faster, but I think I speak for all of us in saying I don’t care.” I looked around the side of the car. Most of the alligators had lost interest. One hadn’t. “Oh, crap. James? Burn this puppy out. Alliflash is no longer on the side of right.”

  CHAPTER 58

  WE RACED ALONG. “This is only slightly faster than those luggage carts we had to use against Mephistopheles at JFK,” I shouted to Reader.

  “You know, if you want to get out and run, girlfriend, feel free.”

  We hit a bump, and I started to slide off. Lots of people shouted my name. Lorraine managed to keep me on the hood. Reader had to swerve around a log and I slid toward the driver’s side. Another swerve, another slide. This was so fun.

  The car went over a big bump, and I lost my hold. I managed to grab the windshield wipers. They extended, and I slid forward. Kicked up my feet so they weren’t dragging on the ground. Considered my options. Looked around, to see Alliflash still after us.

  “It’s like freaking Jurassic Park!” I shouted to them. “It’s still coming! James, get some speed out of this. Make the hamsters in the engines do some damn work.”

  Reader cursed. “Okay, hang on.” He spun the car, and hanging on became questionable. The car stopped, and I felt someone pounding on the hood.

  “James, what are you doing?” Martini sounded ready to lose it.

  “Most powerful gear is reverse,” Reader snapped. I heard the gears shift.

  “Pop the hood.” I jumped off, he popped it, I jumped in on top of Serene. “Go, go, go!” Alliflash was really close and gaining.

  We took off again. I couldn’t see what the others were doing, but that was fine. I had a great show watching Alliflash prove it was NASCAR material.

  “What’s going on?” Serene shouted. “Why did you lie to me?” She started to hit me.

  I grabbed her jaw and turned her head, hard. “Look at that, you idiot. Alligator, trying to kill us. You piss me off any more, and I’ll throw you to him so the rest of us escape, got it?”

  This got through to her somehow. Maybe it was because Alliflash was clearly in the headlights. I looked behind it.

  “Is that another one coming, too?” Serene asked.

  “Yes, I think so.” Gigantagator was backing its buddy. “Now, you want to live or be ’gator chow?”

  “Live.” We both leaned back.

  “Hold onto something. It’s been a real bumpy ride so far.” On cue, we went over something.

  “Hold onto what?” she asked frantically. Reader was driving erratically, which considering he was driving backward, wasn’t too much of a shock.

  “Side of car, hood, whatever.” I had hopes the alligators were tiring. There was a burning smell coming from the car.

  She clutched the hood and my arm. Oh, well. “Why did you kiss Brian?”

  “To save your life. You didn’t do what Jeff told you, you didn’t get scared.”

  “I was scared.”

  “You concentrated on Brian.”

  “Yeah. How’d you know?”

  “Serene? There’s a saying I’ve found to be true. I just applied it to you and went with what popped into mind.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Bitches be crazy. You’re one freaked out chick, you know that?”

  “Yeah, I guess so. I wasn’t always like this.”

  “When did the crazy start?” I was expecting something like when she started menstruating, when her mother died, when she first met Brian.

  “In the last year or so. When I started at Kennedy.”

  I was so shocked that I looked at her. She was serious. “You weren’t a psycho before then?”

  “No. I . . . I know I’m not acting right any more. Not all the time, but so much of the time. It’s getting worse and worse.” She started to cry. “Brian’s never going to like me, is he? I’m going to go to jail and be alone with no one to love me.”

  My brain kicked. “You go through some sort of psychoanalysis to work at Kennedy, right?”

  “Yes, everyone gets tested for aptitude, mental stability, things like that.”

  I considered Chuckie again. He’d been the conspiracy king and still was, much as I hated that nickname he’d gotten stuck with. He always said most things that happened were an elaborate ruse to gain either money or power. He felt there were far more active conspiracies at any given time than there were straightforward power bids. He didn’t believe in coincidence—which was a reason I didn’t as well, years of his association—it was all part of the grand scheme of those who wanted more money and/or power. I used to consider this funny, with possibly a kernel of truth thrown in.

  But Chuckie had firmly believed aliens were here, and he’d been right. So what if he was right about the whole elaborate ruse thing? Or that the conspiracies were alive, well, and active?

  I couldn’t risk calling him or sending a text right now, so I tried to look at this situation as Chuckie would. He had a simple rule—find the person with the most to gain, and, as unlikely as he or she may be, that’s the head of the conspiracy.

  I didn’t have to look long or hard. Leventhal Reid was a politician, he knew the A-Cs were here, he was leading efforts to turn Centaurion Division into a military unit. Plus, he had Club 51 clearly in his pocket, and the son of the head of Club 51 working at Kennedy.

  I extracted my arm from Serene’s grasp and put it around her shoulders. “I have a feeling I’m going to be able to help. If, you know, we survive rescuing you.”

  No sooner said than I heard an exploding sound and a lot of male cursing. “Out of the car,” Reader shouted. “It’s dead.”

  Serene and I scrambled out, so did the others. “Lorraine, any speed available?”

  “No, I used it up getting to the stupid lighthouse.”

  Figured. “Serene, you have any hyperjuice left?”

  “Yes, but I can only do five miles.”

  “Good enough. Everyone, link arms, now!” I hooked with Serene, Lorraine with me, Gower, Reader, Christopher, and Martini. “Run, Serene, now.”

  She too
k off, and our terrified daisy chain went along with her. I looked back to see Alliflash just miss Martini’s foot. Then we were stopped, far away. Everyone collapsed. I dug out my phone and dialed. “Jerry?”

  “Where are you guys?”

  “I have no idea. On a paved road. The car is about five miles farther back, probably being eaten by alligators. Do something, anything, and pick us up.”

  “No problem. I contacted East Base, and we are now in an extended Hummer heading toward you. At least, I hope we’re heading toward you.”

  I looked down the road. “I see big headlights. Don’t go too fast—none of us can get out of the way right now.” The headlights didn’t slow. “Um, Jerry? Seriously, slow down.”

  “Uh, Kitty? Tim’s driving, and neither one of us sees any people yet.”

  Oh, hell. “Everyone up! Move, move, move! We have hostiles coming!” I got up, dragged Serene to her feet, ran to Martini and did the same to him. “Christopher, keep hold of Serene. They’re after her, trust me.”

  We took off, Lorraine and Reader both holding onto Gower. We were moving, but I realized I was actually the only one with any speed. My brain casually mentioned I was carrying something I could now use without any remorse.

  I pulled out of Martini’s grip, dug through my purse, and pulled out the Glock. “What are you doing?” he shouted at me.

  “Preparing to shoot. You all have guns. Now is really the time to use them.”

  “Actually, I don’t,” Martini said.

  “Me either,” Christopher admitted.

  “Then get behind me. That would be an order, by the way. And get ready to have to move, because if this goes right, the car’s going to be out of control.”

  Gower and Reader moved up next to me, guns out. “You know the problem with pistols is that they have to be really close for us to hit them.” Reader sounded very calm.

  “Who’s the more accurate of the two of you?”

  “Me,” Reader said.

  “Shoot out the tires. Paul, shoot the windshield.”

  “What are you aiming for, Kitty?” Gower asked.

  “The driver.”

  The car barreled toward us. Only, it wasn’t a car. It was a monster truck, with huge tires. Good and bad. “Changed my mind, take out the tires, everyone.”

  It got close enough, and we started firing. Reader and I were concentrating on the right front, Gower on the left. The right blew first, and the truck started to go wild. It skidded and flipped.

  I felt lucky, until I realized it wasn’t the only vehicle. There were two more, both sedans. They were side by side and coming right for us. We started firing again. Out of ammo, new clips in. Gower and Reader a bit faster than me since I had to find another clip in my purse.

  Got a tire on one car and the windshields on both. Out of ammo again before I could hit anyone. The car that had lost a tire slammed into the other one. Sadly, they both kept on coming toward us.

  As deaths went, this was potentially better than being eaten alive by alligators, but it was still not up there with death by orgasm. However, I didn’t see how any of us could get out of the way in time.

  Just before I screamed good-bye to everyone, the air shimmered, and Gower was on his knees. I dropped and held him. Reader did the same and held us both. We all cringed as the cars headed right toward us. I looked back to see the others in the same kind of crouch, Martini shielding Lorraine while Christopher shielded Serene. Martini looked up at me, mouthed, “I love you,” then winced. I knew the cars were about to hit.

  But before they reached the shield, the cars exploded. I looked forward to see flaming parts flying through the air. The wreckage sailed toward us, hit the shield, and blew over. There was another explosion, and the monster truck blew up.

  I looked through the flames to see Claudia standing in the middle of the road, holding a rocket launcher. There were headlights in the distance behind her. I hoped it was our ride, but I figured she was ready in case it wasn’t.

  The car parts stopped flying, and the shield went down. “Stay with Paul,” I told Reader as I extracted myself and ran to Claudia. She was shaking. “You were awesome.”

  “No one kills my team while I’m around,” she said. “You know what? I like fieldwork. I don’t want to stay in the lab all day, I want to do this, all the time.” Another adrenaline junkie added to the corps.

  “Did anyone get out of the truck, that you saw?”

  She shook her head. “No idea. I got here just in time.”

  “Totally in the nick of time, which is perfect hero stuff.” I took the opportunity to put a fresh clip into my Glock. “Those our boys in the distance?”

  “Yeah, I didn’t pass anyone else on the way here.” We started walking back to the others, but stopped dead.

  There was a big man who resembled a walrus standing there, next to Martini who was on his knees with his hands behind his head. Martini’s shirt was still open, and this scene was far too reminiscent for comfort. The man was holding a gun to Martini’s temple with one hand and Serene’s throat with the other. She wasn’t struggling, but I could see she was conscious. The rest of the team were facedown on the ground.

  “Move and I kill him.”

  CHAPTER 59

  CLAUDIA AND I DIDN’T MOVE.

  “Put the weapons down,” Taft said.

  Claudia slowly put the rocket launcher down. I didn’t move.

  “You want me to kill this alien piece of shit? Happy to,” Taft snarled. “I said to drop the gun, bitch.”

  My mother had spent some time with me at the shooting range since I’d discovered she was the Annie Oakley of antiterrorism. She’d had a lot of advice for situations like this. Drop your weapon was not one of them.

  I was in a good enough stance for shooting because of how I’d stopped, legs about shoulder length apart, well balanced. Distance wasn’t an issue, plenty close enough. The issue was, could I aim, fire, and hit Taft before he pulled the trigger and blew Martini’s brains out?

  I made eye contact with Martini and did my best to send some sort of emotional signal that I wasn’t backing down and he should do something to help me. He closed and opened his eyes slowly—I had no idea if he’d gotten my clue or was saying good-bye.

  “So, Howard Taft, right?”

  “That’s right. Drop your gun.”

  “Why? So you can slaughter all of us more easily?” Keep ’em talking, that was my modus operandi, and it tended to work in my favor.

  “I’ll let you all live if you cooperate. I have what I want.” He shook Serene. I heard her whimper.

  “Yeah, you’ve done a nice piece of work on her. So, before you go, how’d you get the crazy juice into her?”

  He gave me an evil smile. “You figured it out? You’re smarter than you look.”

  I resisted the urge to give a sarcastic reply. “Wow, thanks. So? How? I’m not smart enough to figure it out.” I heard a car stop behind us, but no doors opened. I hoped this was our guys and they were clear on what was going on.

  “These aliens are so trusting. Especially if they have abandonment issues and just want another mommy.”

  I got a sick feeling in my stomach. “Helen is one of you?”

  “Oh, yeah.” Serene sobbed and he grinned. “We identified this one as the right stuff for what we wanted. Give her home-baked goodies laced with drugs that make her a little bit psychotic. Focus her onto a jerk who happens to be enamored of someone we know is connected to Centaurion Division. Encourage, drug, encourage. Have to say, her bombs were an added plus. She’s a keeper, and we’ll be keeping her nice and safe.”

  “You people really are the scum of the Earth, aren’t you?”

  “This is our world. They don’t belong here. If they’re going to stay, then they’re going to do what they should.”

  “Be your weapons?”

  “Be our slaves.”

  He meant it. This wasn’t just a bid for power, this was Hitler all over again. I had to hand it
to the little goosestepper—he’d tapped into what appeared to be a universal goal of megalomaniacs everywhere: purity of the race and death or enslavement of any not considered good enough.

  “So, Leventhal Reid—he happy with the job you’ve done?”

  “He’s a friend. He supports our cause.” So, Taft was the puppet, which was more of a confirmation than a surprise. “Oh, and you boys who think you’re getting out of the car so quietly? Move and I shoot.”

  Taft was looking at them. I wasn’t going to get a better chance.

  It was as if everything were in slow motion. Moved in the fast but relaxed way Mom had taught me. Aimed for the head due to hostage placement. Saw Martini fling himself away and Serene yank at Taft’s arm. Fired and kept on firing. Saw Taft’s head explode like a pumpkin while bullets from his gun hit the ground. Serene pulled away and staggered back. Kept on firing, into Taft’s body now.

  Someone was behind me, arms around mine. “Stop now, Kitty,” Kevin said soothingly as Taft’s body fell back and hit the ground. “It’s done, he’s dead.” He slid his hands down my arms to my hands. “Don’t want to hit the team with stray bullets.” His hands closed over mine, and then he yanked upward and pulled the gun out of my hand.

  Kevin spun me around and held me as I started to shake. “It’s okay. You did it right. Just like your mother.” He was rocking me. “Jeff’s okay, I can see him getting up. Everyone’s alive, they don’t look hurt.”

  I nodded, kept my face buried in his chest, and kept on shaking. Other hands were on me now and Kevin’s arm released. Martini turned me toward him and picked me up. I wrapped my arms around him, buried my face in his neck.

  “It’s okay, baby,” Martini murmured to me. He moved us off, I wasn’t sure where. But I could hear people running around us, and then it was quiet. “We’re away from the others. Can still see them, but they can’t hear us.” He kissed my head. “It’s okay, you know.”

  “What is?”

  “To not feel remorse for killing him.”