After a quick shower she went to the infirmary, where she headed directly for Paul’s room. He lay, dozing, snuggled up to his chin in the covers — the perfect picture of a sleeping boy. When Rose felt his forehead, it was warmer to the touch than usual.
Frankie turned up with a mug of coffee and a sympathetic squeeze to her shoulder. “Thanks for coming,” Frankie said, but her words were filled with doubt, implying the question if Paul would appreciate her presence when probably all he would probably want was his Dad when he woke up.
“I didn’t have it in me to wake Dave,” Rose explained, wrapping her hands around the very hot mug.
Frankie nodded, humming. “You should make it clear to him that the fever isn’t anything to be concerned about, though,” she said softly, tugging quite unnecessarily on the sheets.
“Of course I will,” Rose said. She had the indistinct feeling that he was going to need all the reassurance he could get.
Frankie left with a nod. Rose sipped her coffee and pulled up the chair to sit with Paul. She didn’t think she’d have to wait long for Dave to appear. He’d probably roll over and find her side of the bed empty and cold. Hopefully, he’d not be alarmed. Her absence could mean so many things. She should have left him a note.
Rose picked up the copy of Harry Potter and smiled. As she opened it at random, a magazine clipping and a business card fluttered out and settled by her feet and a little ways underneath the bed. The business card was the one she’d given to Lucy.
Rose froze. If Dave had brought the book to reread it, had he found the business card between the pages or had Lucy used it as a bookmark last night? Had he known that Lucy and she had met?
As she went down on her knees to pick up the magazine clipping, she noticed that it was torn from one of the women’s mags that had bought Dave’s photos from the charity event. Kneeling, she unfolded it and looked at her photo.
“I put it in there.”
Lucy’s voice made her jump. When Rose looked up she found Lucy standing at the foot of her brother’s bed.
“It’s a very good photo,” Lucy continued, squatting beside her. “I think you look a little bit lost in it.” After a pause she added, “You’re beautiful.”
“Oh, well,” Rose said, blushing. Although she was used to accepting compliments, Lucy’s threw her; maybe because it was heartfelt. Maybe because it was Lucy.
“Am I right? About you looking lost? I’ve been wondering.”
Rose hesitated for a beat. It was clear that Lucy was still looking for her place in the world, or rather, in two families, but Rose had the feeling that the girl had a better idea of where she belonged than she’d had the last time they’d talked. Should she tell her that yes, she had felt a little lost? Had that changed because she had fallen in love with Dave? “You’re right.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t really feel at home at such events,” Rose explained. “Your father has a knack for capturing people at their most… when they are themselves.”
“Yeah, he does, doesn’t he?” Lucy said, folding up the clipping.
“I had no idea you were his daughter. Miss Morris.”
Lucy chuckled. Then she sobered, looking hard at her. Rose wanted to close her eyes; had she just given herself away? “Photographing people is very different from photographing architecture,” Lucy said. “He keeps saying so.”
“Are you interested in photography?” Rose asked.
Lucy shrugged. “He’s so passionate about it. I’ve never really tried. I don’t think I’d be good enough.”
Oh Lucy. “I think he’d be thrilled to show you,” Rose said. And bit her lip.
“Do you think?” Lucy knelt on the floor facing her.
Rose nodded.
“Taking photos for the Heritage Trust Fund will give him a great opportunity to get away from everything for a while. It certainly did help me,” Lucy said. “Thank you for suggesting living with Stuart.”
Rose would have sighed in relief, but she also knew she had to tread very carefully now. She still had no idea if Lucy knew about Dave and her, but just in case she didn’t there was no reason to spill the beans now. That was Dave’s prerogative; besides, he had made it clear that he wanted to decide when to tell his children about their relationship. “And?”
“Dad’s… Dad. He’s my father. He’s been around for as long as I can remember,” Lucy said. “I love him. I like Stuart, and I like the Quinlans. I really do. But it’s not the same. I love my family. Even if they can be infuriating.”
Rose chuckled. “Tell me about it.”
“Can I ask you something, Rose?”
“Anything.”
“Why do you know all these things? You aren’t that old.”
Rose laughed, stifling the sound with her hand over her mouth, remembering where they were. “Thank you. I guess.”
Lucy coloured and ducked her head.
“Lucy. Look at me.”
She did.
“I know because I lost my home and had to make a new one,” Rose began, deciding to take that leap of faith. “I grew up far away from my father. It was just Mum and me, and we didn’t have much money. And then, one day, I lost that home. I was lucky because I had Mum with me, and because losing that home brought me back to my Dad. I know what not knowing where one belongs is like. And meeting a father you don’t know.”
“Why?” Lucy asked. “Why weren’t your parents together?”
The answer to that question was public knowledge. Pete’s PR people had deemed it a good idea to come up with a reasonable story to explain Rose’s sudden appearance. But Rose supposed Lucy needed to hear it from her. It was only half a lie. “He didn’t know about me. Mum never told him about me.”
“She didn’t even send him photos?”
Rose shook her head. “She didn’t want his money. What she didn’t know was that he really loved her. So…” She trailed off.
Lucy looked at her in surprise. Then she opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it. At her second attempt she said, “I know how that feels. I’m not sure about Stuart loving Mum that much, though.”
Rose smiled. “It wasn’t easy, but we eventually made our peace with each other.” The truth was, of course, that there had been no such thing. They’d had to get to know each other, but that been mostly between Mum and Pete. Rose forgot for most of the time that Pete was not her birth father, and she didn’t care that he wasn’t. He doted on her; he’d always wanted children. This universe’s Jackie hadn’t.
“I’m sorry about your aunt,” Lucy said.
“I didn’t know her, but thanks.” According to the spin doctors, Pete had married Jackie’s twin, not knowing that the woman he had fallen in love with — Andrea, which was Jackie’s second name — had a sister. It was a tale of confusion and sibling rivalry, and since ‘Jackie’ had died at the hands of the Cybermen, there was no one to prove that story wrong. The story sounded a bit Mills and Boone, but the people, and, more importantly, the press bought it, and after a while, it had been accepted and forgotten. In their minds, Andrea was Pete’s rightful wife. Rose had asked him once if that didn’t betray this universe’s Jackie’s memory. “They’re very different, Rose, and I love them both,” was all he’d said. They’d never spoken of it again. Maybe she ought to talk to Pete and her Mum about loving another universe’s version of their deceased spouses; she and Dave and the Doctor weren’t much different.
“Thank you for telling me this,” Lucy said. She climbed to her feet. “It’s good to be treated like an adult.
“Well, you’re behaving very adult,” Rose said. Lucy was being very reasonable about the emotional turmoil she’d been subjected to. It wasn’t fair to make her choose without proper guidance. Dave was doing his very best, but he had the other kids to think of, and he couldn’t possibly answer all the questions Lucy had.
Lucy coloured slightly. “Do you think?”
“You are,” Dave replied. He was standing just
inside the room with Evie on his hip and Ewan by his side. Rose hated herself a bit for falling for Dave all over again as she saw him in the role of a father. It was hormones and genetic programming or whatever, but he was just perfect as a dad. She felt her heart swell with love. At the same time, her heart clenched. The Torchwood doctors had implied that it might be difficult for her to conceive. She'd crossed the Void, and the effects of travelling in time and space probably wouldn't help. They had no experience to fall back on, of course, but she’d come to terms with never having children of her own. She had no idea how Dave would react if she told him.
What are you thinking? she scolded herself. Far ahead of anything. She didn’t even know if Dave wanted to be with her like that.
“Dad!” Lucy squeaked in embarrassment.
“Good morning,” Rose said, rising.
“How is Paul?” Dave asked, crouching to put Evie down.
“He’s got a temperature,” Lucy said.
“Dominic reckons it’s a good thing. It means his body’s fighting whatever’s inside him,” Rose hurried to explain.
Dave looked sceptical, but she suppressed the urge to go and reassure him. She had to admit to herself that Dominic’s words sounded like anything but good news. Dave went to Paul to feel his forehead. The boy’s eyes fluttered open at the gentle touch.
“Hey there,” Dave said. “Sleep well?”
“I had a weird dream,” Paul said softly.
“What was it about?”
“I dreamt I saw Mum.”
Dave’s shoulders tensed and Lucy bit her lip. Evie, Rose could see, clamped her hand over her mouth. Ewan’s eyes wandered from person to person in the room, unsure of what to make of this.
“I dream of her a lot,” Dave said eventually, ruffling his son’s brown hair. Rose felt a stab of jealousy pierce her chest, but she knew immediately that she had no right to feel that way. Dave still loved Rita; he wasn't just saying it to make Paul feel better, he meant it.
“I miss her every day,” Ewan said from where he was standing. Rose’s heart clenched. He was still stood just in the doorway, like someone who didn’t know where — if — he belonged.
“I talk to her,” Evie said matter-of-factly. “I tell her everything that happened during the day.”
“You do?” Dave couldn’t help asking. Rose knew that as far as he was concerned he had no idea how his youngest was mourning her mother, how she was coping. Obviously quite well. She stuck to telling her Mum about her day as if nothing had happened. Rose envied her resilience.
“Don’t you?” Evie asked in surprise.
“Of course we do, but differently,” Lucy said, joining Evie and kneeling beside her to give her a hug.
“How?” the little girl asked.
“I tell her in my thoughts. I look at her photo. You know, the one Dad took last September when we were at the seaside.”
“That was great!” Evie enthused. “Can I have that photo, Dad?”
“Of course you can, sweetheart.”
Rose decided to leave then. They were sharing some family memories, and she’d probably more than outstayed her welcome. She nodded briefly at Dave before she turned to leave. Dave found her eyes as she looked back into the room and his expression was a mixture of helplessness and gratitude. She smiled briefly at him before she left. This was something he had to do by himself.
Rose hurried into the hall, heading towards the lift. That had been intense. It had also given her insight into the family dynamics. While she knew Dave was a good Dad she also knew that he had no idea how to grieve with his children. It was all right too, in a way, because their personalities were so different. Maybe things with Dave had been a bit rushed. Maybe they should have waited a while.
-:-
The phone was shaking in his hand as he tapped Rose’s number on speed dial. Jake had told him that she had left the Priory before breakfast. Dave couldn’t blame her for wanting to go home for a bit, but he also missed her terribly. When he’d woken this morning he’d been by himself, and he had felt the emptiness of her side of the bed acutely. He knew, of course, that she’d been right to leave, but he didn’t want to be by himself after spending the night with Rose. He needed her. Now more than ever.
Thankfully, she answered her phone at once.
“Dave, what’s happened?” she asked, her voice anxious.
“I…” He didn’t know what to tell her first. Things had gone pear-shaped on a grand scale after lunch. Paul was now running a high fever and Ewan was missing. Evie wanted Rita. And Lucy? She was urging him to get Anna or Rose or both.
“What’s wrong, Dave?”
“Ewan’s missing and Paul’s temperature turned into a fever,” Dave blurted. “Dominic thinks it’s a symptom now and… Rose, I need you. Please. I… I can’t think straight. I want to stay with Paul but Ewan… he needs me too, and Evie wants her Mum…” He was a rubbish father. He should be able to give one of them priority, but he was having a hard time thinking straight. Rita would have known what to do, but Rita was gone. He felt so lost without her. Without Rose. How come they always knew what to do and what to say? Both of them had a knack for finding exactly the right words at the right moment.
“Have the boys look for Ewan. He can’t have a favourite hiding place since the Priory’s new to him. Stay with Evie and Paul until they’ve found him,” Rose said.
“But…” Images of Ewan in a road accident, much like his mother, flashed in front of Dave’s eyes.
“They know where to look, trust me. I’ll be there as quickly as I can.”
“Yes,” he said. She was right. Of course. “Thank you, Rose.”
Chapter 37
They found Ewan just after Rose arrived at the Priory. She had to literally push Dave away from Paul’s bedside. “You should go and see him,” Rose said, taking the warm, damp flannel from him which he’d been about to dip into the bowl of water on the bedside table. “I’ll sit with Paul.”
“Thank you,” Dave said. “Thank you so much, Rose.” He pressed a quick kiss to her cheekbone.
Rose smiled. “’s okay. Now go.” As he left, he could hear her whisper softly to his son over the tinkling of the water in the bowl as Rose renewed the compress. He was so grateful to her for coming, for her willingness to help.
“He’s at Tony’s,” Lucy told him when they met in the hall outside Paul’s room. For a moment he wondered if she’d seen him kiss Rose, but that would have to wait until later. Ewan needed him now. “The chef found him in the larder.”
“Thanks, sweetheart,” Dave said, taking her hand briefly.
“Would you like me to come with you?”
“No. No, I think Ewan and I need to be by ourselves for a while,” Dave said. “But thank you.”
Lucy gave him a long, hard look, but she nodded. Dave pressed on to the Italian restaurant, where Bertie showed him to the secluded table he had shared with Rose, Mickey and Jake when they’d first met. A tall glass of Italian lemonade sat before his son, but it seemed untouched. Ewan was sitting with his elbows on the table, hanging his head in a mixture of sorrow and shame. Dave nodded at Jake who was standing at a little distance.
“I don’t need a guard,” Ewan said as he took a seat on the chair next to him.
Dave sighed, accepting the coffee Bertie placed in front of him. Then Jake and the host disappeared. “It got too much for you, eh?” Dave asked.
Ewan wouldn’t meet his eyes, but he nodded.
“I wish Mum were here.”
“So do I,” Dave said, his voice catching as the lump in his throat became ever bigger. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest. He couldn’t believe that they had found his boy so quickly, and that he was unharmed. Adrenalin pumped through his body, and it was with shaky fingers that he picked up the coffee cup. “I’m sorry.”
That got Ewan to look up. “Why?”
“You feel bad about what’s happened. I should have looked after you more closely,” Dave said. “But
the thing is that it’s only me now and I have to learn a lot. I love you all, so much. Rita… she just knew what to do. I’m a bit rubbish.”
“Yeah.”
Dave guffawed.
“Dad? What if… I’m so scared about Paul. You must hate me.”
Dave dropped the cup onto its saucer with a clatter as it slipped in his fingers. “I don’t hate you, Ewan. It was an accident. Nobody’s fault.”
“But…”
“No but, Ewan. I love you just as much as any of the others. It’s just difficult to know where to be, with whom to be.”
“You’re not angry with me?”
Bigger on the inside: Space, Time Travel, Alien Criminals (A Space Time Travel Mystery Book 1) Page 40