Dreamspinner Press Year Five Greatest Hits

by Tinnean

  “I’m being distracted,” I told him. “I can’t concentrate when you’re here.”

  “I thought we could go see a movie or something before we go home,” he said.

  “Okay,” I agreed. “Give me… I don’t know. Twenty minutes or so, and I’ll try and get this finished up.”

  “What am I supposed to do?” he pouted.

  “I don’t know,” I said, pushing him away as he started to nibble my earlobe. “Go and talk to the guys out front or something. Serve some customers. They won’t bite.”

  His teeth closed down on my ear in protest. “Can’t I stay with you?”

  “If you stay, it’ll take me three times as long,” I told him. “Go on. Get out. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

  Will kissed me again and flicked my nipple rings through my shirt, then left with an evil sort of grin. Horny Will was my favorite Will. With that in mind, it took me half the time it normally would to scribble out invoices and sign my name to those that had been piled up on my desk for hours, waiting for me to get my shit sorted and get them done.

  When I wandered back out to the shop floor, Will was sitting on the counter next to our cash register, waving a copy of what looked like Hemingway rather emphatically.

  “No, no, you’re completely wrong,” he told a young woman, whom I had a strong, sinking feeling was a customer. “The Old Man and the Sea was his finest work by far. And don’t get me started on Atwood. The Handmaid’s Tale is overrated if you ask me. Read Alias Grace and then we can talk.”

  “You’re full of shit,” the girl told him, pushing her long, dark hair back over her shoulder. “Alias Grace is awesome, obviously, it’s Atwood. But Handmaid’s Tale is a classic for a reason.”

  Will shook his head. “I’m not letting you buy that unless you buy this too,” he said and started waving the copy of The Old Man and the Sea again. “It’s secondhand and only four bucks.”

  “Fine,” she said. Smiling, she took the book from him and handed it over to Lauren behind the counter. “Is your number hidden in the front cover by any chance?”

  My stomach clenched in jealousy at her flirting.

  “I’m sorry, you’re very beautiful, but I’m gay,” Will said. He looked up and his eyes met mine. He smiled and the girl followed his gaze.

  “Ah,” she said knowingly, handing over a bill to Lauren. “It’s always the way. It was nice talking to you.” She waved as Lauren handed her the bag and her change, and I followed her to the door, flipping the sign from “Open” to “Closed.”

  Will was thumbing through another book when I crossed back to him. He’d tucked one foot up underneath him now. Lauren was snapping her gum and looking pissed off at the revelation that he was unavailable.

  “You can go,” I said to her, and she nodded silently. “Have a good weekend.”

  Another silent nod, and she was gone.

  “The others are putting the last of the delivery out,” Will said from behind his book.

  “Okay,” I said, planting myself in front of him. He reached out and ruffled his hand through my hair, a favorite gesture of his.

  “You’re not supposed to argue with the customers,” I teased him.

  “Hey, she bought the book, didn’t she?” he countered.

  “Only because she wanted your number!”

  “I didn’t give it to her though,” he said, closing the book and laying it down. His eyes darkened. “Kiss me.”

  I leaned in and pecked him on the lips. “I’m at work,” I said softly, in apology. He smiled, understanding.

  “What else needs to be done?” he asked.

  “Just the delivery,” I said. “It shouldn’t take long.”

  “I’ll help,” he said, hopping down off the counter.

  “You don’t have to,” I started to protest, but he just patted my ass and told me to show him the way.

  Esther and Megan had nearly finished by the time we joined them; we only had one display left to do of our “Titles to Watch.”

  “Hey, Meg, this is Will,” I called over to my friend.

  “Hi, Will,” she said with a smile, her blonde head popping up over a box of books.

  “What do I need to do?” he asked.

  “Here,” Esther said, gesturing to the half-finished display. “It’s easy; keep the middle tier the tallest then work down, like a step pyramid.”

  “Okay, I think I can manage that,” he said.

  Esther and Meg were among the few friends I had left who hadn’t been mutual friends of both Adele and I. They knew I’d broken up with her, but hadn’t ever pressed for the gory details. Even though we’d gone out a few times again with Brandon and Kelvin, I still didn’t quite count them as more than just Will’s friends. I was hopeful that, with time, that would change though.

  “So, what are you guys up to after work?” I asked as I stacked chick-lit.

  “I don’t know yet,” Meg said, stretching her arms out over her head to pop out her back. “Ashley should be picking me up. He might take me somewhere.”

  “Pigs might fly,” Esther said innocently, then yelped as Meg threw a paperback at her.

  “Hey! Ashley’s nice.”

  “Compared to who? Hitler? Charles Manson?”

  “Don’t,” Meg sulked. “He’s just… private, that’s all.”

  “Private?” I teased her. “He doesn’t ever speak!”

  “That’s because he’s so stupid he can’t string two words together,” Esther snorted.

  “He’s pretty though,” Meg said with an evil smirk. “And he rides a motorbike.”

  “Ah, I get it, it’s the leather pants, right?” Esther said.

  Will looked up and caught my eye, and we both dissolved in laughter.

  “What?” the girls demanded simultaneously.

  “Nothing,” Will and I responded.

  When the displays were nearly finished, Esther and I left Meg and Will to do the last few bits, and took the drawer from the cash register up to the office to cash up. It was a familiar rhythm, doing this with her; we’d each count then swap the coins and bills until everything was double-checked and signed off. It was an easy night—everything tallied up first time—so we kicked Meg and Will out and went about locking up.

  “Jesse,” Esther said slowly as we collected our jackets.

  “Mm?”

  “Is Will your… um… partner?”

  “Yeah,” I said with a smile. “Sorry, I never meant to hide it from you. It’s just, I don’t know. Private.”

  “That’s okay,” she said, returning my smile. “You’re so much happier than I’ve ever seen you before. He’s changed you.”

  “Really?” We were hovering longer than necessary, wanting to finish our conversation before leaving.

  “Oh yeah. I don’t think you were ever this happy before him. It was so obvious, but I didn’t know how to ask what had caused it.”

  “I really love him,” I said seriously.

  “Good. Make sure he knows it.”

  “I will,” I promised.

  LAZY, HAZY, Sunday morning sex was followed by snuggling in bed with no plans, nothing to do except watch the changing expressions of the man I loved.

  “Do you have plans for today?” I asked as I stroked his hair back from his face.

  “I do, actually,” he said. Light was streaming in through a gap in the curtains, showing the highlights of red in his hair and the fine dusting of fuzz on his jaw.

  “Yeah? Where are we going?”

  He looked guilty for a moment, then leaned in to kiss me. “I said I’d go visit my parents.”

  “Oh. Okay.” I attempted a shrug, but it was difficult while lying on my side.

  “Would it be okay”—he squirmed as I ran my fingertips lightly down his side—“if I tell them about you?”

  My hand stilled over his ribs. “Are you sure you want that? It’s a big step.”

  “Yeah. I don’t think I can keep you a secret much longer. You’re too important
to me.”

  The next kiss was difficult—neither of us could stop smiling.

  We showered together. Under the heat of the water, I washed his back and let him stroke me to orgasm until I dropped to my knees, the water washing the sticky mess down the drain as I used my own lips and tongue to bring about his own.

  Will left not long after we’d dressed, after long kisses on the doorstep—I didn’t want to let him go. While he was out, I took it upon myself to thoroughly clean the house. The stereo system in the living room was loud enough for the music to carry; I put on some classic Chili Peppers to keep my energy levels up as I started on the second floor, collecting up all of the laundry that needed to be done.

  I sorted Will’s shirts that needed to be taken to the dry cleaners and put them in a pile for him to take them out. All of the clothes that could stuff into the washer were packed in there, and I set that going, then started on the kitchen.

  As the afternoon drew on, I started to run out of jobs to do, and ended up in the playroom, polishing and waxing our stuff to keep my mind occupied. I didn’t want to linger on what was happening on the other side of town—how Will’s family was going to react to the news and whether I’d need to put him back together in the same way he’d supported me after my mother had called.

  Finally, at about four in the afternoon, I heard his car pull up outside. I was in my room with my laptop and the window propped open so I could hear him.

  “Jess?” he called as the door closed behind him.

  “Up here,” I yelled back. My heart was thudding in my throat.

  I tried to concentrate on the page I was reading, a list of MA history courses, but I was reading the same line over and over again without any of it going in.

  “Hey,” he said from the doorway.

  My head jerked up so quickly it hurt my neck. “Hey,” I said, my throat hoarse. “How did it go?”

  He crossed to me and gently set my computer on the floor. “My mother very much wants to meet you,” he said softly. I wanted to ask “what about your dad?,” but I held back.

  As if he was reading my mind, he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “My dad too.”

  “That’s good,” I said, returning his kiss. “I need to know everything though, you should know that.”

  “Okay,” he laughed. I settled back into the corner of the couch and pulled his back to my chest. Will played with my fingers as he spoke. “I tried the gentle approach, telling them that I’d met someone and that I’m insanely happy, more than I’ve ever been before.”

  “Aww,” I teased him, kissing his hair.

  “Shut up,” he mumbled. “I wanted them to know that we were already, you know, sort of established in our relationship.”

  “Did you tell them I’m living here?”

  “Let me tell the story,” he said bossily.

  “Go on, go on.”

  “So, my mom was all beaming and happy and stuff, and then she asked when she could meet her.” He started to rub my palm with his thumbs. “And I said there was something else I needed to tell them, and that your name is Jesse, and you’re definitely not a her. Then I said, ‘I’m gay’, just in case there was any confusion.”

  “Then what did she say?” I pressed.

  “Well, they were both really quiet for a moment. Then my mom said ‘oh, Will’, that she’s known since I was a teenager and why didn’t I tell her sooner. And that she still wanted to meet you.”

  “And your dad?”

  “God, you’re annoying,” he laughed. “He didn’t say anything until I was leaving. Then when I was walking out, he stopped me and asked if I was sure. And I said yeah, I was really, really sure. And he said ‘okay’.”

  “Is that good?”

  “I think so. My mom said that nothing would stop her from loving me.”

  “There’s nothing that would stop me from loving you either,” I said.

  “You sap,” he laughed. I took a deep, cleansing breath and felt him relax back into my chest again.

  “Do you think we’re out now?”

  He lifted both of my hands and placed them over his chest. “I want for us to be,” he said. I flattened my hand and moved it over his heart.

  “I want for us to be too,” I said.

  We were quiet for a long time, and if I didn’t know him so well I would have thought he was sleeping. But this was Will, and he was likely lost deep in thought.

  “Do you know what today is?”

  “Um, Sunday?” I said with a laugh.

  “Well, apart from that,” he said with a smile. “Laura introduced me to you two years ago today.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah. It doesn’t feel like two years, right?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “Hmm.” He sat up and stretched his arms above his head. Then he moved to the other end of the couch and tugged my wrist, reversing our previous position. I rested my head on his shoulder and loved him for wrapping his arms too tightly around my chest. “Collaring.”

  “Yeah. What does it mean, exactly?”

  “Well, it’s something unique to each couple, I suppose,” he said. “Some people consider it equal to marriage—that it’s a lifelong bond and commitment. To some people it’s just a D/s thing, or a strictly personal agreement. I think we’d all agree though that it’s an important declaration. For me, it’s saying that I’m going to take care of you in all the ways I know you need. For you, it can be whatever you want it to be.”

  “Equal to marriage?” I echoed.

  Will laughed. “Trust you to pick up on that bit.”

  “No, I like it.”

  “Okay. What are your reservations? Because I know you have them.”

  “I don’t want things to change,” I said vehemently. “Our relationship works. I don’t want to do anything that might jeopardize that.”

  “We don’t need to change anything, baby,” he assured me.

  “If I start this MA course, I won’t have as much time for us anymore,” I said, regretting the words even as they left my mouth.

  “You think that matters to me?” he said teasingly.

  I shrugged, pulling his hands into mine on my lap. “It’s a new challenge for us.”

  “The first of many, I’m sure.”

  “Should we have that children conversation now, do you think?” I said. “We might as well get it all out of the way at once.”

  “Sure,” Will said, shifting to get comfortable. “So. Children.”

  “Yes.”

  He reached over and punched me in the shoulder. It didn’t hurt because of the awkward angle. I refused to let go of his hand, still.

  “Okay, I’ll go first,” he said. “I never expected to have kids. I can’t imagine myself having kids. But I don’t want to ever rule out that possibility.”

  “I agree,” I said, causing Will to roll his eyes at me. “Oh, don’t do that. We’re only in our twenties. There’s plenty of time to have children later. We don’t have to make a decision now.”

  “That was easy.” Will leaned over and kissed my cheek.

  “Yeah. I like agreeing with you.”

  “What about our D/s relationship?” he asked. “It feels like we’re entering this new stage of our relationship now. One where you’re a lot more settled and happy with who you are.”

  As always, he was giving me plenty to think about. “I suppose I am,” I said. “I still find it hard to define myself as gay, but it’s very easy for me to say I’m yours.”

  He squeezed my hand. “You don’t have to change your view of your sexuality to be with me. I mean, you can if you want to, but if you want to still be ‘bisexual’, that’s okay too.”

  My silence was telling. Will laughed.

  “Yeah. Okay.”

  “I’m due to hold another play party at some point in the future,” Will said lightly.

  “Hmm,” I said, to take up time while my whirring brain processed that possibility. “I know it�
��s something that you enjoy, doing demonstrations and stuff, and I think I would be okay being your guinea pig, you know, your model or whatever. But actual scenes between us are, I don’t know, intimate, and ours. I don’t know if I want to share that with anyone else.”

  “In some ways, that makes me happier than if you said yes.”

  “You’re strange.”

  “No, I just know how important your independence is.”

  I leaned over and kissed him softly. “That’s good. I suppose the only other thing is the whole ‘collar’ thing.”

  “You don’t want an actual collar,” he said.

  “It’s not that—” I started, but he cut me off.

  “It’s okay if you don’t. ‘Collar’ can be a metaphorical term if that’s better…. I know couples who use rings or wrist cuffs or anything. We can do whatever we want.”

  “I like this whole ‘making it work for us’ thing,” I said, turning my head to kiss his jaw.

  “I know,” he said, kissing me back. “We can fix all of the downfalls of a traditional marriage.”

  “I could be married to you,” I mused out loud. “You know. In a non-marriage kind of way.”

  Will chuckled and hugged me tighter for a moment. “Do you trust me to make this work for us?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Okay. Then I’ll sort it all out. It’s gonna be alright, I promise.”

  THE BROWN leather pants were back. This time, he wasn’t wearing a shirt with them.

  Things had changed between us, as was inevitable with all of the time we spent together as a couple. One of my biggest challenges was learning to separate, in my mind, the difference between the man I loved and the man I obeyed.

  Master wanted for us to work on finding our own headspaces for a scene together rather than spending the time before a scene apart, sometimes for as much as an hour before the session. And although I wanted that connection with him to grow, it was admittedly difficult getting there.

  So, it was for that reason I was sat on the edge of our bed, watching Will struggle into those brown leather pants and trying not to laugh.

  “Do you want a hand with that?” I asked, trying to hold back a smirk.