by Rachel Astor
I sighed as I walked down the stairs to catch my limo. Another night of pretending I was somebody I wasn’t. Even the thought of Jake being there couldn’t help my mood. In fact, it almost made it worse. Now I was in this awful place, wondering whether or not he really liked me, knowing I would have to see him either way.
Usually I would only write in the Disaster Diary when I was getting a big head, but I was depressed and felt like wallowing, just a little.
Dear Disaster Diary,
I was living in this house with several separate apartments in it. It was a weird old house, but the rent was cheap, and I was a college student. Anyway, the house was set up with the laundry facilities in the garage so that all of the apartments could share them. I was dying my hair and wanted to get my clothes ready since I’d be in a hurry once I was finished with my hair.
I realized that my pants were still out in the dryer, in the garage. I threw on my bathrobe and ran out there to grab them. I ran back to my apartment, praying no one would see me in my bathrobe, bare feet, and hair dye cap. But when I got to the door, I had locked myself out.
Totally embarrassed, I ran to the closest apartment, which was old Mrs. Brewster’s, to see if I could use her phone to call the landlord. Much to my surprise, her grandson, a super smokin’ guy about my age, answered the door. He looked at me like I was an alien, and I was about to run away, but old Mrs. Brewster saw me and made me come in. I had to stand there using the phone with this hot guy staring at me, and Mrs. Brewster made me wait inside her apartment the whole time I waited for the landlord to finally arrive.
The party was at a different location, but the media frenzy was much the same as the last time, except now they were much more interested in my relationship with Jake. I smiled the most gracious smile I could muster under the circumstances, and simply repeated “no comment” over and over again.
Inside the building I was greeted with an escort again. It was a different guy this time, I could only assume they hired whatever actor or model was available. In the main event hall, the party was already under way. There were no announcements as people arrived.
At least this time every single person in the room isn’t staring at me, I thought.
My eyes darted around the room and I tried to convince myself that I was just checking to see who was there, but even I knew I was really only looking for one person.
“Oh thank God you’re here,” Jennifer said rushing up to me, which wasn’t an easy thing to do in her tight formal gown and four inch heels.
“Geez, you tower over me in those things,” I said.
“Yeah, I know, I feel like I’m taller than most of the men here. Perhaps they weren’t the best choice.”
I smiled. “So, anyone else here?” I asked.
“No. I don’t know where the hell Bobbi Lynne and Rebecca are. And Emma is busy with the rest of the guests.”
I looked around. The crowd was certainly different at this party than the last one.
“Can you believe this?” Jennifer said. “I bet we’re the only two people here under sixty five.”
I nodded searching the crowd for hair that wasn’t either blue or grey. And then I spotted him. Jake. He was entering from a different door way in the back.
My stomach lurched for a second and I fully realized just how much I liked him. But then…
“Is that Rebecca and Bobbi Lynne?” Jennifer asked.
The two other Bridesmaids were sneaking into the ballroom from the same door in the back, just behind Jake. Rebecca was looking very sexy in a sparkling red gown that was very low cut, and Bobbi Lynne looked like the complete opposite of a country bumpkin in a bronze dress that shimmered in places that had no business shimmering.
“What are they doing with him?”
Jennifer shrugged. “I have no idea, but it doesn’t look good.”
She was right. Jake seemed to be trying to straighten himself up, straightening his tie and smoothing his hair while Bobbi Lynne appeared to be trying to readjust her bra without using her hands.
“What the hell?” I said.
Jake went straight over to his brother and huddled with him for a few minutes.
Rebecca and Bobbi Lynne strutted around the room like they’d just won some sort of prestigious award.
“I’d love to go over there and knock her head right off her shoulders,” Jennifer said.
Apparently the horror of the situation was still showing on my face. I could only hope that none of the people with cameras had caught the expression on my face.
“Don’t worry,” she continued. “I’m sure that nothing was going on, Bobbi Lynne probably just had him cornered back there forever, yakking like she does.”
I nodded. “Yeah, probably.”
But it wasn’t Bobbi Lynne that worried me the most. It was that damned Rebecca with that proud as a peacock look on her face.
“Hi y’all,” Bobbi Lynne came bounding up to us.
“Hi,” we both said in unison, both in the same monotone.
“I was wondering when you’d get here. Me and Rebecca have already been sneaking into the back room for a little sociable drinking with the groomsmen.”
“Oh, yeah, I was wondering where you came from,” I said.
“Are all the groomsmen back there?” Jennifer asked.
“Yeah, well except for Jake,” she said.
Jake caught Bobbi Lynne looking his way and she gave him a flirty wave. He politely raised his hand, stopping mid air when his eyes locked with mine. He immediately turned and huddled with his brother again.
“He’s such a sweetheart. And oh my gosh, it was so funny. Rebecca had this whole fake ‘hitting on Jake’ thing going on back there. She even had his tie untied and he had lipstick all over his face,” she said, laughing as she talked. “Y’all should have been there.”
“I’m sorry I missed it,” Jennifer said rolling her eyes.
I grabbed a flute of champagne off the tray of a waiter moving quickly past us and took a big gulp.
“I think we need to get some air,” Jennifer said and grabbed my arm.
She dragged me out to the terrace.
“Thank you,” I said. “I don’t know how much more of that story I could take.”
Jennifer turned and leaned back on the railing. “Man this party is lame. I wonder how soon we can get away with leaving.”
I nodded and took another swig of champagne.
“You look great though. I bet Jake is in there wishing it had been you with all the kissing.”
“Oh yeah, he looked like he really hated it. Did you see how he shot over to his brother, like he had some sort of huge secret or something? He was totally looking guilty.”
“Well, then kudos to you then,” Jennifer said.
“What?”
“What’s he got to feel guilty about if some girl kisses him? Unless of course, he feels guilty because he likes somebody else.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, though it certainly gave me something to think about. Why did he look so guilty?
For the rest of the night, I successfully dodged Jake. I didn’t have a clue what to say to him. Who knew what he was really thinking. Truthfully, I was almost afraid to find out. I only knew that I definitely wasn’t ready to have my hopes completely smothered yet.
I ducked out of the party as soon as I thought I could get away with it, telling Emma that I had a headache, and that I would see her tomorrow at the airport before our flight to the Virgin Islands.
~ 13 ~
I arrived at the airport with enough luggage to cover me for just about every possible scenario that might come our way. I’d definitely over packed, bringing half of what I owned including all five bathing suits.
But when I got there I discovered that a model always puts the average girl to shame, just with the sheer amount of clothes that she owns, let alone brings on vacation with her.
“Holy crap, five suitcases?” Jennifer whispered, pointing to Rebecca.
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br /> “I know. We’re only going for three days,” I said. “And I thought I was ready for anything.”
I looked down at my measly two suitcases and one cosmetic bag. It looked like Jennifer had packed about the same as me.
“Hello girls,” Emma VanHorn yelled walking up with several girls towing suitcases behind her. “These are all of my best friends,” she continued motioning to the ladies behind her. “You’ll all have a chance to meet on the plane, but for now… let’s get going!”
The girls behind Emma all giggled and whooped it up as if they’d never been on vacation before. I thought it was odd since they were all from old money and must vacation half the year.
“You’d think they’d never gone on a stagette before,” I said to Jennifer.
She nodded. “Maybe Emma’s the first one in their little gaggle to get married.”
Bobbi Lynne and Rebecca were handing their bags to the staff that was loading the large private jet.
“We’d better get going,” I said. “We don’t want to miss the flight.”
“Speak for yourself,” Jennifer said, still rolling her eyes at the pack of socialites that were already boarding, leaving their luggage just sitting there. “I guess they’re not worried that their luggage could be forgotten.”
“I on the other hand want to make damn sure that I see my luggage get on that plane,” I said. “If I were to lose those suitcases, half the clothes I own would be gone.”
She nodded. “Me too.”
Making sure our suitcases were safely aboard, Jennifer and I climbed on last.
“Oh great,” Jennifer whispered. “We’re stuck with Bobbi Lynne.”
There were exactly two seats left. Bobbi Lynne gave us her toothy smile as we sat down beside her.
“Hi girls,” she said excitedly. “I’ve never been on a private jet before.”
“Ditto,” Jennifer said.
“Oh gosh. This is all just so excitin’,” Bobbi Lynne went on. “This plane, these leather seats, all the glamorous ladies! It’s all too much.” Her smile was getting wider and wider and I got a mental image of her mouth opening so wide that she’d eventually engulf the whole plane.
I tried to suppress the giggle that accompanied the image but couldn’t.
“What’s so funny?” Bobbi Lynne asked, staring at me blankly.
“Oh nothing, nothing,” I said waving my hand. “I’m just so excited too.”
Bobbi Lynne smiled and nodded and turned her head back towards the window.
“Oh my family back home is not going to believe all this when I tell them,” she continued to drone.
Jennifer gave me a look that said she might kill the girl. I handed her a set of headphones that were sitting on the small table between our cushy bucket seats, which she accepted and mouthed a dramatic ‘thank you.’
I immediately found my own pair and quickly put them in. Bobbi Lynne never skipped a beat, her mouth moving at lightning speed.
I began switching stations on the radio. It sounded like some sort of satellite feed. There was one channel that was all soothing sounds, rainforests, the ocean, and other calming noises. Soon I was fast asleep.
# # #
Jake and I were floating in his boat on the lake at his cabin. He’d turned the engine off so we could enjoy our peaceful surroundings. As I lay on his chest, I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence.
Soon the peaceful silence turned into a much more passionate rendezvous. It began innocently enough with a few strategically placed kisses on Jake’s part. I returned the favor, nuzzling his neck and pressing my body against him.
It wasn’t long before there was a flurry of clothes flying.
I woke up to the sound of what seemed like a thousand girls giggling. I opened my eyes slowly, and found about fifty perfectly made up eyes with long cow like eyelashes staring at me. Jennifer was poking me in the shoulder.
I looked around. “What?” I said. “Was I drooling or something?”
“Um no,” Jennifer said. “You were talking in your sleep.”
Oh God.
The girls burst into fits of laughter.
I put my hand up to my forehead, shielding my face from the onlookers. Thankfully, a few minutes later, the girls seemed to tire of my humiliating moment.
“What did I say?” I asked Jennifer in a whisper.
“Well, let’s just say we could all tell you were dreaming about sex.”
“Oh God.”
“With Jake.”
“Oh God!”
“Yes, there was some of that phrase in there,” she said with a smirk.
“Well, welcome to the real me,” I said. “Meet McMaster the Disaster.”
“Oh come on,” she said and took a sip of her drink. “We’ve all been there.”
“Not like this. I am constantly embarrassing myself, exactly like that.”
“Oh who cares,” she said. “I’d bet you a million dollars that at least half those girls have had the exact same sort of dream about Jake.”
“I know I have,” Bobbi Lynne piped in.
Crap. I’d forgotten about her.
“Really?” I said, not really sure whether I should be upset that so many women were dreaming about Jake, or relieved that maybe it wasn’t as embarrassing as I’d first thought.
“Sure,” Jennifer said. “Everyone knows that he’s the reason we all entered this thing to begin with. And Emma’s friends are all totally jealous of you anyway. I heard that a couple of them have been trying to get Emma to set them up with Jake for years.”
“Really?” I said. “Maybe I should be keeping a closer eye on my back.”
“Eh, don’t lose too much sleep over it, no pun intended.”
I didn’t have much more time to stress over it. Apparently, I’d missed the start of our descent in my dream filled slumber and it seemed like all of a sudden we were landing. I took a quick peek out the window and saw nothing but paradise for miles.
The sun bounced off the ocean, like tiny dancing diamonds.
Jennifer and I were first off the plane followed by many, many snickers at my expense.
“Aren’t they all mature,” Jennifer said, but I was pretty sure my face already looked like I had forgotten my sunscreen and sat on the beach for a day.
Our luggage was first off since we’d been the last in. We quickly picked up our things and headed to the waiting vehicle. Apparently, Emma had spared no expense; there were three stretch limos waiting to take us to our resort.
“Great,” Jennifer said as Bobbi Lynne bounded up to us with her luggage.
“I’ll share a limo with y’all,” she said. She looked like she had to pee, jumping around like she was. “Oh gosh, I’m just so excited.”
“Yeah, you said that,” Jennifer said.
The driver began to load our luggage into the car. A few more girls joined us before we drove away. Thankfully, Rebecca wasn’t one of them.
“I wonder where Rebecca’s at?” Bobbi Lynne said a few minutes later.
“If we’re lucky, maybe she got stuck in the bathroom on the plane,” Jennifer said.
Bobbi Lynne tilted her head looking confused.
“I’m sure she’s just in one of the other cars,” I said, elbowing Jennifer.
If she kept this up, everyone would start to hate us. But I still needed her to help keep me sane, especially since there wasn’t even any chance of seeing Jake at this particular wedding event.
The hotel was a paradise inside paradise. The lobby felt like being inside a waterfall with three of the four walls covered in cascading water. It was magnificent. The only problem was that I was starting to have to go to the bathroom, and the rushing water really wasn’t helping me hold it in.
“Do we have to wait for the rest of the cars before we check in?” I asked.
If I didn’t get to a bathroom soon, I’d be doing the pee dance that I thought Bobbi Lynne looked so silly doing just a few minutes before.
“Why? You want to go
take a little nap?” one of Emma’s friends asked.
This of course caused the rest of the girls in her group to start the giggling all over again.
I sighed.
“Please follow me,” one of the bellmen said and motioned with his hand. “Each of you will be staying with one of the other girls.”
My mouth dropped open and I looked at Jennifer. She was already asking what I was thinking.
“Do we get to pick who we’re with?”
“I’m not sure,” he said. “I was told to show you to your room, so I had just assumed you two were together.” He started looking worried.
“No, no, that’s fine. That’s great,” I said.
I didn’t want to get stuck with one of those rich snobby girls, or God forbid, Bobbi Lynne or Rebecca.
The bellman opened our room door and I nearly pushed him over to get into the bathroom.
“What is it about flying that makes you have to pee so badly?” I wondered out loud as I came out of the bathroom.
Jennifer had picked out one of the twin beds and was already beginning to unpack. “Knowing you’re trapped?” she said.
“Probably.” I heaved my biggest suitcase onto my bed. “So, I wonder what we’re supposed to do now,” I said.
“Well, we can peruse the itinerary,” she said.
“I didn’t get an itinerary.”
“Oh yes. Yes you sure did,” she said waving a piece of paper in the air.
“Really?”
“Oh yes. The bellman gave it to me.”
I chuckled. “At least we won’t have to wonder what to do.”
“Oh no we wont. Believe me, there is no spare time, although I guess the planned activities aren’t particularly strenuous. First up, pool lounging while we all get over our jet lag.”
“Jet lag? Is it even possible to get jet lagged on a flight that short?” I wondered.