by Rachel Astor
“According to the rich and famous, I guess.”
“Well,” I swung one of my swimsuits around my finger. “This weekend, we are the rich and famous.”
“Except that we’re not rich. Or famous.”
“Aw, c’mon. Don’t ruin my fun.” I snapped her with my swimsuit, wet towel style.
“Okay,” she said. “I will not ruin the fun for you.”
“You know,” I said. “You could try to have a little fun of your own.”
“What? I’m having fun,” she said.
“Uh huh. Then get your swimsuit on. And hurry, we gotta scope out the best lounge chairs.”
“Oooh, yeah. And cabana boys.”
# # #
Poolside was even more spectacular than the rest of the hotel. The pool stretched toward the ocean making it look as though they blended into one giant body of water. But the real appeal came in the form, as Jennifer had predicted, of the cabana boys.
“Interesting that they’re all men,” Jennifer said.
“I bet Emma made sure of it,” I said. “I wouldn’t doubt it if she hand-picked each one of them herself.”
“Well, I’m not complaining,” Jennifer said, smiling and accepting a tropical drink from one of the many dark skinned, hard bodied waiters.
“Hmm. Me either,” I said. “Me either.”
We found two chairs that, to some, may have not looked like the best location since they faced opposite the ocean, but as Jennifer pointed out, they faced the cabana square on. We’d be able to ogle all we wanted beneath our Audrey Hepburn sunglasses.
And that we did. Hours passed while we lay in the sun. A bunch of the other girls were running around and splashing each other in the pool. One of them untied Bobbi Lynne’s top, which came flying off when she flipped over while tanning. Of course the girls had pre-alerted the cabana boys so they’d all be ready for an eyeful, which they definitely got with a flailing Bobbi Lynne screaming at the top of her lungs. It was really quite priceless.
Sadly, it all had to come to an end sometime.
“Well, I guess we’d better start getting ready for the formal supper,” Jennifer said, consulting the itinerary.
I sighed. “I suppose I have had enough sun for one day.”
I went to stand, but quickly found that sipping tropical cocktails all day, while lying in the sun wreaks havoc on a person. I lunged for the back of my lounge chair, just before I went down like a wet noodle.
“Whoa, hey there girl,” Jennifer said, stabbing herself with her straw while reaching for me.
Girls all around the pool stopped to stare at the spectacle. The all too familiar giggles started up again.
“What are you looking at?” Jennifer slurred at the girls.
“Shhh. Don’t make it worse. Let’s just get to our room and get cleaned up,” I whispered pulling myself to my feet and helping her up off her chair.
We stumbled our way back to our room arguing over what the room number actually was. On the third try, we found the door that the card key actually worked in.
“Ugh,” Jennifer said as she flung herself onto the bed. “I just want to go to sleep for about fifteen hours.”
“I know. Me too. But you know as well as I do that we have to go. All those girls out there have it in for us. I’m sure they all wanted to be, or at least thought they’d be, Bridesmaids for Emma.”
“Screw ‘em,” Jennifer said.
“Come on. You said yourself that this is a really good opportunity. Besides, what if this is the night that Emma decides to have strippers or something. You wouldn’t want to miss out on that now, would you?”
The thought of naked men was apparently just the thing to kick her into gear. “You’re right. We have an obligation to Emma.”
I laughed.
“I call the shower first,” she said, trying to get up off the bed but lost her balance, falling back onto the bed.
“Okay,” I said, and got up to pull her off the bed. “Get up and shower, I’ll make some coffee.”
As she walked into the bathroom, I pulled out the Disaster Diary and made two new entries. The first was about the dream I’d had about Jake, and the second was about the spectacle I’d just made of myself out by the pool.
A few minutes later I banged on the bathroom door. We were running out of time and I still needed to shower myself. But more importantly, I thought that Jennifer might be in there drowning or something.
“Just a minute!”
I relaxed, knowing at least she was alive, and started laying out my clothes for the night. When I’d packed, I hadn’t really expected anything too formal, though the itinerary said I had been wrong. I hadn’t brought any designer gowns with me.
“What are you wearing?” Jennifer asked, exiting the bathroom.
“I don’t know, the thing says formal, but how formal could it be?”
Jennifer raised her eyebrows. “You never know with this crowd,” she said. “But I didn’t really bring anything.”
“Me either.”
I started rifling through my suitcase. Jennifer was flipping through hangers in the wardrobe.
“Oh God, this is not good,” she said. “Not good.”
I pulled out a simple black dress that I’d worn on more occasions than I could count. You could always count on the little black dress.
“Thank God Mattie made me buy these shoes before we left,” I said pulling my new Jimmy Choo’s out of the drawer.
“Oooh, I’ve got a shrug that will dress that up,” Jennifer said pulling a sparkly piece of fabric out of her drawer.
“Perfect,” I said.
“Do you have any shoes that would go with this?” she asked pulling out a sexy red satin dress.
“Wait a minute, I do!” I said pulling the drawer back open. “I’ve always just worn these with jeans, but I think they’d be perfect.” I pulled out my sparkly red sling backs. “I call these my Wizard of Oz shoes.”
“They’re great!” Jennifer said. “Are you sure I can wear them?” she said accepting them gingerly.
“Of course,” I said.
“You’re one of those shoe people aren’t you?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I guess so. I subscribe to the ‘the shoes make the outfit’ theory anyway.”
“So how many pairs of shoes do you think you have?” she asked.
“Um, forty three.”
“Seriously? You think you have more than forty pairs?”
“As long as you include boots, I have exactly forty three.”
“Yeah. You’re definitely one of those shoe people. Not that I’m complaining or anything, I’ll gladly borrow from your obsession,” she said with a wink.
“Obsession,” I said, putting my hand to my chest. “I can’t believe you would say that,” I said mockingly.
“Shoe diva,” she yelled back, as I headed to the bathroom to finally take my shower.
~ 14 ~
As expected, Jennifer and I were a little underdressed. Not so much that we stood out too badly, but enough to make me just a tiny bit uncomfortable. At least we weren’t as bad off as poor Bobbi Lynne, she was wearing a sundress.
“Gosh y’all look nice,” she said. “I can’t believe everyone is dressed so formal. I thought on a tropical island, everyone would just be wearing sundresses all day.”
“You look fine,” I said, smiling and silently thanking the lord that I had packed at least as much as I had. In her defense, she really did look nice in the sundress, and it was quite classy as far as sundresses go.
We were getting a lot of sideways glances from Emma’s friends. I guess our impression from the pool was still fresh in their minds. I decided it was best to stick to sipping water, just to be safe.
The meal was a delicious combination of meats and vegetables, roasted over an open flame.
“Is it just me,” I said to Jennifer, “or is the food way better here than back home.”
She was nodding as she chewed. “It must be the tropical weather. These
veggies are to die for.”
We finished our meals and went straight to bed. According to the itinerary, we were in for a long day tomorrow.
# # #
I woke up early, and Jennifer was still snoring quietly. I got out of bed and checked the schedule for the day.
Breakfast at the hotel restaurant. An island tour, including a stop at the rainforest, and then an undersea tour of the reef. Private dinner and dancing at the hotel restaurant with some ‘special guests.’
I started a pot of coffee and went to have a quick shower. By the time I was done, Jennifer was starting to stir.
“Mmmm. Do I smell coffee?” she asked.
“Yup,” I said, pouring two cups and handing her one.
“Thanks,” she said and blew into her cup.
“So, island tour today,” I said.
“Yeah, I’m actually looking forward to it,” she said.
“Me too. And no drinking until at least mid afternoon,” I said.
My eyes were still a little sensitive to the light of day.
“I feel like shit,” Jennifer said.
“A shower might help you feel like you’re alive again,” I suggested.
She nodded and sucked back a bit more coffee before going to get ready.
I killed a little time reading out on the terrace before we had to leave.
A buffet of every pastry you could imagine, plus an omelet bar, plenty of fresh seafood, and what seemed like every fruit that existed, awaited us downstairs.
“Try to eat quickly girls,” Emma announced from the front of the room. “Our tour leaves in a half hour.”
I poured myself some orange juice and dove into my waffles smothered in strawberries and whipped cream.
“Whoa, slow down there McMaster,” Jennifer said, sitting beside me. “Save some of that energy for tonight.”
“You should talk miss ‘hog the omelet bar for 15 minutes while I make sure they put absolutely everything on.’”
She elbowed me in as I was taking another bite.
“So I’m guessing the ‘special guests’ tonight will be strippers, hey?” I said.
Jennifer nodded, her mouth stuffed with omelet. “Has to be,” she finally said.
“God, what do you wear for strippers?” I wondered.
“As much as you can cover yourself with,” Jennifer said. “I once heard this story of this girl who got crabs in her eyebrows from a stripper.”
“Ew. Are you serious? Can that even happen?”
She shrugged. “I dunno, probably not.”
“I hope not,” I said.
“Why? You plan on getting in close enough to find out for yourself?”
“God, no. I just thought it would be totally gross for the poor girl who got the crabs.”
“Sure,” she said, pretending she didn’t believe me.
The rest of the girls were finishing up and starting to board the luxurious tour bus.
“Well, here we go,” I said and collected my stuff.
We’d been instructed to bring swimsuits and a change of clothes. When we were all on the bus, it pulled out and the driver announced we’d be seeing the rainforest first.
We arrived on the outskirts of what was left of the preserved rainforest. I thought I was prepared for what we would see, but the spectacular beauty of it took my breath away. The forest floor was damp and shaded by the massive canopy overhead. But more exciting than the beauty of everything, was the feeling I got as we made our way slowly through. Magical, sacred, like it held secrets that we could only dream of knowing.
“Wow,” Jennifer whispered beside me.
Even Emma’s rich kid friends stayed silent as we weaved our way through. The silence continued even on the bus as we headed toward the reef. It was a weird silence, not solemn, but more awe inspired, each of us with our own thoughts.
As we got closer to the ocean, the girls started to chatter a bit again. We got off the bus and were assembled into two groups. Those that already knew how to scuba dive and those that didn’t. I was in the latter with Jennifer and Bobbi Lynne. Rebecca had looked down her nose at us as she sauntered over to the ‘experienced’ group.
Our group was fairly small, just me, Jennifer, Bobbi Lynne, and two other girls.
“Hi, I’m Ashley,” one of them said. “And this is my sister Kim. We’re cousins of the groom.”
“Oh, nice to meet you,” I said. “I was wondering. You guys didn’t seem quite as snobbish as the rest of them.” My mouth dropped. “Oh God, did I just say that out loud?”
Ashley and Kim giggled a little. “Don’t worry, we’ve been thinking the same thing.”
“Does anyone else feel like they’re back in high school?” Jennifer said, peeking over at the crowd of girls that were openly staring at us and shaking their heads.
“Totally,” I said.
“What do you mean? I think all the girls are great!” Bobbi Lynne said. “They’ve been really accepting of me. Especially Rebecca.”
“Really?” Jennifer said.
I wondered what Rebecca wanted. Surely she only put up with Bobbi Lynne because she needed her for something. “Well that’s good,” I said. “It was silly of me to say anything anyway. This is all just so new to me.”
Bobbi Lynne plastered her smile back on, and busied herself with her gear.
The three other girls gave me looks, which added up to one collective eye roll.
The instructor sped us through the basics, almost all of which were safety precautions. We did a couple of test dives in a nearby pool, and then we were sent out into the reef, along with an expert to guide us.
I’d always imagined that an undersea adventure would consist of murky water and a feeling of extreme claustrophobia. But it was the complete opposite. The water was clear, and the thousands of colors were the most vivid I had ever seen. I kept wishing I could shout out about how amazing everything was, but of course my mouth was filled with the respirator. And I wasn’t at all claustrophobic. In fact, I almost felt freer then than I did above water.
After the dive, the ride back to the hotel was deafening. The rich chicks even got off their high horse, genuinely excited with what they had seen.
“That was perhaps the best day of my life,” Jennifer said.
“I know. Me too. It wasn’t at all what I expected.”
“I thought it would be all slimy and gross down there,” she said as we walked toward our room.
“Exactly!”
“God, I could use a nap,” she said.
I had to admit that all the activities of the day had really exhausted me too.
“Wanna go lay by the pool for an hour before we have to get ready?” I asked.
“Yeah, definitely.”
“It’s a good thing that I brought every swimsuit that I own,” I said as I changed into suit number three.
She nodded. “Me too.”
We snuck out to the pool just in time to snag the last two lounge chairs. Cabana boys were there almost immediately to take our drink orders.
“Yeah, what the heck,” I said. “I’ll have a Pinã Colada please.”
“You’re starting already are you?” Jennifer said. “Well then I’ll have a Tropical Daiquiri.”
“This is the life,” I said, stretching out on the full-length lounger.
“I wish we were here longer. Three days is not going to be enough,” Jennifer said.
Our drinks arrived and I took a few sips before leaning back and drifting off into a light sleep.
I awoke to Jennifer shaking me like mad. “Josie! Oh my God, we fell asleep. We are so late!”
“What? Oh crap.”
The sun had begun to set. We made a mad dash to our room and threw on the first outfits we could find. I ended up in jeans and a dressy tank, and Jennifer ended up in a khaki skirt with a chocolate brown strapless top. I threw on a funky hat to hide the fact that I hadn’t done my hair.
When we rushed into the restaurant, all eyes were on us. No,
not because we looked hot, even though we didn’t look too bad considering we were so rushed, but because we had made yet another spectacle of ourselves. Nobody said a word to us as we sat down in the two empty chairs at the end of the huge table.
I caught Emma’s eye and mouthed the word ‘sorry.’
She shrugged as if it were no big deal.
The girls started chatting again.
“You know, they could have woken us up,” Jennifer whispered to me.
“I know. At least five of these girls were out at the pool too,” I agreed.
The meal was delicious and this time, they broke out wine to accompany the meal.
“Oh geez,” I said. “I’m a sucker for wine.”
“Oooh, it’s the good stuff too,” Jennifer said, picking up the bottle.
“Hmm. Now I don’t feel so bad that I left that whole drink at the pool.”
“Yeah, me neither.”
It didn’t take long before I forgot all about what the snob girls thought of me. A few glasses of wine had a way of making you just not care.
When the dancing started, Jennifer and I were the first ones out on the dance floor. We danced for what seemed like hours before the DJ announced that the strippers were about to begin their show. I contemplated heading back to the room for the night, but I knew I was too wired to sleep.
“This aught to be good,” Jennifer said. She tilted her head. “Actually it might be if any of those Cabana boys double as strippers.”
Cheesy music started, and all of a sudden a man in very good shape was on the stage in a cowboy outfit. He had the glittering chaps, the hat, the boots. The only things missing were pants and a shirt.
“Oh good lord,” Jennifer said. “Could this get any more cliché?”
“Oh you just wait, we still haven’t seen the fireman, the policeman, the waiter…”
“Okay, okay, I get the picture,” Jennifer said. “I think I’m going to start to drink faster. You with me?”
“Sure,” I said, shrugging. “The ostracizing can’t get much worse. We may as well have some fun at least.”
Each time a new stripper appeared on stage, it was inevitably one of the guys on my list. A few dancers and several cocktails later, Jennifer and I were feeling pretty good. We started dancing with some of the other girls, and of course the strippers were there too. Jennifer’s favorite was Tarzan man, and I had a little flirtation going on with Mr. Policeman guy.