Dragon Haven

by Robin McKinley

  As it happens Dad was graduate-student-less when Lois arrived and the roof fell in, which all things considered was more good than bad but it meant he couldn’t help trying to drag Rangers off the other things they already couldn’t keep up with because of all the escort duty to try to bail some of the Institute stuff out. Later on he hit on the idea of asking me to type some of his letters for him. This worked pretty well. It was something I could do back at Billy’s house with Lois, especially on those afternoons after she’d definitively outgrown the sling and would not just go to sleep and let the humans get on with human stuff, so I was mostly keeping an eye on her. Not paying attention was the best way to try to translate Dad’s handwriting—which kind of looked like the White Queen’s hair—what the words were would kind of tango out at you if you were looking somewhere else. And it did mean that I had some clue some of the time about some things that were going on outside Billy’s house. Outside Lois. Whether I wanted a clue or not.

  Billy and some of the other Rangers cremated Lois’ mom. They knew they had to let the cops and the scientists measure and test and take millions of photos and so on, but barring a few samples they wouldn’t let them move her. Some of the scientists got pretty shirty about the “wouldn’t let” part but Smokehill as part of its charter has absolute control over its dragons (within evil little caveats like not saving any of their lives) and while people started spitting phrases like “legal challenge” and “in the public interest” around—and they’d already been using words like “obstructionist” when Dad had refused to okay their doing a mini rainforest-type raze for a gigantic helicopter pad to fly all these visiting bozos in and out—they couldn’t actually do anything.

  So after about two weeks Billy said “that’s it” and one night they burned her. They burned her and they sang while the scientists and cops and journalists stood around with their mouths hanging open. The Arkholas are usually dead private about their singing so I was amazed, but Grace told me and while it’s not like I doubted her or anything I still asked Kit too, because he was there. He almost smiled. “Yeah. They thought we were raising demons or something.”

  “Wow,” I said.

  Kit knew what I meant. “Yeah. But it stopped them from trying to stop us, you know?”

  It’s not like we have a lot of practice at it but we knew already that dragon bodies burn a lot easier than human ones. Human ones, they’re all water, they don’t want to burn. Dragon ones, it’s like you just show ’em a matchbox and they go up—whoop—bonfire to the stars, no boring ignition necessary. (The guys that went out to Australia two hundred years ago reported on this, over and over again, like they kept not believing it.) You’d’ve thought that the smell of something that size decomposing after a couple of weeks would have made everybody think burning was a good idea, but ironically decomposing dragon doesn’t stink as spectacularly as decomposing most-other-things do, although I guess that “as spectacularly” is relative. Forensic morgue guy is a job I’ve never been interested in.

  There might have been more trouble but then all the samples everybody’d collected started turning to ash and some kind of sticky black tar stuff. We were lucky that there was a lot of info on the way dragon stuff does disintegrate really fast—the scientists had been doing their tests in quadruple-time because they knew the clock was ticking but they still didn’t get anywhere: Every test said something different, and nothing made any sense. What a good thing scientists would rather die under torture than be accused of being Bad Scientists or some of them might have been a little tempted to go along with the Arkhola curse thing that the National Stupid People Press tried to get going.

  That was about as much as I knew at the time. What I didn’t know anything about was what happened when they ID’d the poacher. You’ve got it that I was what you might call pathologically not interested in the poacher, I hope. So you get it that for a long time I didn’t think about not hearing about him.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The first two years of Lois’ life are both really blurry and really clear in my memory. There are all kinds of little sharp clear pieces in it, mostly about watching Lois grow and worrying about keeping her healthy, that are still dead immediate like they happened yesterday. But I have very little sense of the time passing, except for Lois getting bigger, which I really liked seeing, was hooked on seeing, because it was the only clue I had that maybe she was okay and thriving. I’m sure we had lots more close calls than I know about (or want to, even now) but one that I do know about, and scared me to death at the time, was the next time the school-form-filler-outer gang came to test me on the nonacademic stuff.

  I think they were suspicious of the apprenticeship, although at that point, with the hooha about the poacher going on, everyone who wasn’t one of us was suspicious of everything at Smokehill, and maybe it wasn’t only cops who hang around talking loudly in gift shops who thought there was something strange about Dad “handing over his only child” to the Rangers. So what happened was that the usual school pencil pushers brought a doctor along without warning us. Usually I got a complete medical only once a year, and the last one had only been about six weeks before Lois happened, so I should have had a long spell yet to get her used to staying by herself, or at least not needing skin, which she kept burning. And here less than six months later was this dweeb telling me to take my shirt off so he could listen to my heart. And he took one look at my stomach, of course, and freaked.

  Don’t panic, I said to myself. You look guilty when you panic. This is another of those great hindsight things—he must have been thinking about some kind of really kinky child abuse or self-harm (I can’t offhand think of anything that would leave marks like a dragonlet’s tongue), and if I’d seemed frightened that would have made him think so all the more, and he would have started raking through our business and discovered that we were keeping some kind of big horrible secret. Child abuse didn’t cross my mind at the time, but the big horrible secret sure did. I don’t know where I got the nerve—maybe from spending so much time with Billy, who even told cops where they got off calmly—but I looked at my stomach and said, “Oh, yeah, eczema. My mom started getting it when she was about my age.”

  The tension level immediately sank about sixty fathoms and although he still wasn’t happy—“Why didn’t you report it? We could have given you something for it long ago, before it got this bad”—I think he stopped worrying that he had something to report back to headquarters. He muttered about stress levels and preoccupied single parents and looking at my diet and changing our laundry detergent and taking some scrapings to see if it was some kind of weird fungus instead of eczema (he did this, and the results must have been negative for weird funguses, even if Lois did kind of look like a large walking weird fungus), since it was rather unusual eczema (duh), and then he said he’d prescribe some cream for it as it was a pretty painful looking case (that was true enough; I give him credit—he was very gentle with the scraping taking) and it was peculiar that it was only on my stomach. Here I showed him some other littler Lois marks on my arms and my feet and legs, and this seemed to cheer him up. Doctors are weird.

  Then when he found out I was living with Billy and Grace he wanted to talk to Grace about laundry detergent and what I ate which I found pretty insulting but Grace thought was funny. But at least it meant I got back to Lois before she had a heart attack and Grace had to go up to the Institute and get her instructions how to take care of me. At least the doc didn’t insist on coming to see my room.

  After that it was always the same doctor, and after a while he wanted to write some kind of paper on my skin complaint, which he wasn’t even sure was eczema, he said (bright of him), and he sure tried to get me to come up to some hospital and have some fancy tests done, but I didn’t want to go (leave Lois overnight?) and Dad wouldn’t make me, obviously, and since I was healthy except for the eczema, the doc reluctantly let it go.

  The other seriously scary near miss—except that it wasn’t a miss
at all—was Eleanor’s fault. That she and Martha knew something was up in itself wouldn’t have been a big deal, necessarily, kids at the Institute were always being not told stuff, and overlooked or got out of the way—or told to get out of the way like it isn’t normal to want to know what’s going on. Being a kid is probably like that everywhere. It’s maybe worse here in some ways because we all live here—nobody goes home from the office. Martha and I knew this—I’ve been here since I was born and Martha since she was two—and it was just the way it was. But it’s one of the reasons that families with kids old enough to know the way the rest of the world works never stay here long. Even if both parents have jobs they like the kids hate it. They’re kept out of the grown-up stuff and there is no kid stuff. Since pretty much every kid I’ve ever talked to (and most grown-ups) say they hated school I don’t entirely get this—seems to me not having to go to school might balance not having lots of friends your own age. But I guess it doesn’t.

  Eleanor was another story. Of course she’s the youngest, so that’s a big thing right there—she’s always trying to be older. But Eleanor has to be out there. Martha and me, if we’re told to go away and leave the grown-ups alone, find a book to read or baby orphan to feed (ha ha). Eleanor hates being shut out of anything. Which is why, since she got old enough to be usefully and sort of applied-ly a brat instead of just a general brat sort of brat, Martha and I knew more stuff about the Institute than we used to, because she’s always generous (to the other members of our oppressed race, the children) with her info. And this time whatever they weren’t being told bothered Martha too, because I was in on it. I think Martha might have been kind of bracing herself for this to happen—that I would suddenly become one of the grown-ups, or at least not a kid like her and Eleanor any more—and maybe she thought my solo overnight really had been it, the place where I crossed the line. But this was kind of more spectacular than she expected. And it drove Eleanor insane.

  I’ve already told you I felt bad about not really being friends any more. Friends with Martha anyway, interactions with Eleanor don’t really come under that heading. It’s like I’d barely seen Martha and Eleanor except for my fifteenth birthday party which after the first hour I just wanted to be over with because I had to get back to Lois who I knew would be starting to shred the bedclothes. That’s not too flattering to the people at your party. It was already a strange party because Grace hadn’t come—but someone had to stay home and make not-alone noises for Lois. Billy brought the cake she’d made but it was still strange. And I saw Martha and Eleanor when the school testers came, but none of us was at our best then. That was one thing we had totally in common. All three of us hated the grown-ups who came to prod us and take notes like we were some kind of science project or field survey. I felt like giving them tips. Our Rangers did it so much better.

  But while it was Eleanor’s idea, I think in this case Martha went along with it. And so one afternoon when Lois was about seven months old and I was home alone doing extra schoolwork so I could sit still longer and let Lois sleep on my (bare) feet for longer, first because any time she was asleep I wanted to keep her that way as long as possible and second because I’d been over three hours at the Institute the day before and she’d been pretty panicked and crazy by the time I got back. (Panicked and crazy was getting bigger and heavier too, she was going to be leaving bruises some day soon, as well as eczema, never mind the grisly idea of her giving the slip to Billy or Grace or whoever her jailer was that day, and galumphing up to the Institute to look for me. Or just getting hopelessly lost in the woods. This really was not likely—at least not until she was big enough to keep galumphing with Billy or Grace hanging around her neck—but it was still another thing that worried me.)

  Also…this is another of those things I don’t know how to explain, even in hindsight, although I have a much better idea what was going on now than I did then…my stupid permanent headache was sort of better when I was thinking about stuff. I’ve said it was easier to live with if I was doing something, but that’s not quite right. It’s like it liked certain kinds of brainwork. It liked educational stuff, not worry stuff. It didn’t exactly hurt less, but it hurt better. Remember I said, about when I first had it, that it sometimes seemed like it was trying to fit inside my head and couldn’t figure out why it couldn’t make itself comfortable? Well now it was like something in my head that was interested in some of the same things I was interested in. Headline in the National Stupid People Press: Boy Believes He Was Kidnapped by Aliens and Has an Alien Spy Thingy Implanted in His Brain. Photos on page seven. I didn’t—didn’t think I’d been kidnapped by aliens, I mean—but I did start to sort of half think of my headache as almost another thing—like me, Lois, Billy, Grace, the Smell, and the Headache—but without finishing the other half of thinking about it, because it was too weird.

  Anyway. So Headache and I were deep in this afternoon when I heard the door bang and I had about five seconds to jerk myself out of what I was doing and think that the bang didn’t sound right and that neither Billy nor Grace was due back till later, and then a voice I knew only too well said, “What is that smell?” and I was on my feet and would have been out of my bedroom door and closing it behind me in another five seconds but Eleanor was too fast for me.

  “Oh, shit,” I said. If Dad had been there that would have been my allowance for that week. (Sure I have an allowance, even in Smokehill. How do you think I paid for all those on-line hours of Annihilate?) But if he’d been there he’d’ve stopped it from happening somehow, I don’t know how, put a bag over Eleanor’s head and said three magic words or something. Dad copes. It hasn’t been good for his temper but he copes.

  Lois poked her nose around the desk leg, not happy at the abrupt removal of my feet, but generally speaking always ready to be thrilled at meeting someone else so long as I was there too. She did one of her peeps. Not that I could ever say for sure what happy was in Lois terms, but her spine plates, now that they were big enough to do anything, tended to erect themselves when she was what I would call happy and interested. They stiffened now. And her nostrils flared, and she did a kind of ooonnngg-peeEEEeep-oooonnngggg. I told you about my dad suddenly believing Billy’s story was real when he heard the weird noises coming from under his son’s shirt. Sound and smell are very convincing. Just seeing something that looks like a low-level goblin out of a bad computer game isn’t so convincing.

  “What is that?” Eleanor said, in that way you do when you’re really surprised: Whaaaaat is thaaaaaat? It takes a lot to surprise Eleanor. By this time Martha had joined Eleanor in the doorway, except by then Eleanor was out of the doorway and going toward Lois. I grabbed her arm. “Leave her alone,” I said.

  “Her?” said Eleanor. “Ow. You’re hurting me.”

  “Tough eggs,” I said. I was so shocked it was taking me a little while to get angry but I was going to be spectacularly angry when I got there. “What are you doing here?” I looked at Martha, but she wouldn’t meet my eyes. Eleanor wouldn’t meet them either, but that was because she was staring at Lois. Eleanor has no conscience. And Martha was pretty fascinated too. Who wouldn’t be?

  “What is that—she?” said Eleanor. “How do you know it’s a she?”

  “She’s a dragon, isn’t she,” said Martha in this spaced-out voice. She was as shocked as I was, sort of from the opposite direction. We were both seeing the last thing we expected to see.

  “No, she’s an aardvark,” I said. I couldn’t quite come out and say, yes, that’s right, this is my baby dragon, Lois. This is the big secret no one has been telling you. “What are you doing here?”

  Eleanor finally turned away from Lois long enough to look up at me. I still had her by the arm. “I wanted to know what was going on,” she said in her shoot-from-the-hip way. She might lie, cheat and steal to get where she wanted to go, but she’d tell you she’d done it once she got there.

  “But—” I said. I didn’t know where to begin.

&nb
sp; “They’re all in some meeting about something,” she said. “The grown-ups. So there wasn’t anyone watching us—for a change,” she said with scorn, although at eight years old and living in the biggest and wildest wild animal park in the country it was hardly surprising she wasn’t allowed to wander around by herself—and Katie did know that Martha couldn’t be expected to keep Eleanor from doing something she was determined to do. Where was Katie when I needed her?

  “Meeting,” I said blankly. I was trying to remember if Billy and Grace had said anything about where they were going. Billy usually didn’t. Grace usually did. But Grace wasn’t a Smokehill employee; she just sold the admin some of her drawings. She wouldn’t be going to a Smokehill meeting. Would she? All the grown-ups. And she loved Smokehill as passionately as any of us. “It can’t be all the grown-ups,” I said.

  “It is though,” said Eleanor. “They’ve closed the park for the day and everything. For this big special meeting. We’re not supposed to know about it. They close the park and the grown-ups all disappear but we’re not supposed to notice.”

  “Mom said she’d only be gone a couple of hours and everyone was busy,” said Martha mildly.