Wanted

by ML Ross

  “What?” He mutes the TV.

  “Shhh…..” We both remain frozen with wide eyes trying to listen. We are out in the middle of nowhere. It is as quiet as church at night. I guess there could be an animal wandering out there.

  “Stay here.” He whispers. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them and rock. I’m scared. Ryan creeps to the front window and stands out of view while peering out into the darkness.

  “Fuck!! Someone’s out there!”

  “Ryan! Are you shitting me? You’re scaring me!” He runs over to me and scoops me up. He carries me to the bedroom and sets me on the floor of the closet. He rustles through his bag and pulls out the gun. He cocks it and pulls my shaking hands round it. “Shoot whoever opens the door! You hear me?”

  “Ryan, I’m scared!”

  “You’ll be okay. Stay here. No matter what. Stay here. Shoot if this door opens. I will let you know if it’s me. Okay? You got it?”

  “Yes.” I whisper shakily.

  He closes the door quietly and turns off the lights. I’m in utter blackness. Tears are falling down my cheeks and my hands are shaking like crazy. I’m huddled in the corner with my knees to my chest and my arms stretched out in front of me pointing the gun at the door.

  I hear the front door open and close. It’s quiet for a really long time and I start to lose it. I can hardly breathe, my chest is so tight.

  After a very long period of complete silence, I hear the front door and feet pounding towards me on the hardwood. Oh God. I squeeze my eyes closed and pray it’s Ryan.

  “Ness? Baby, it’s me. Put the gun down okay?”

  “Okay.” I squeak. I lay the gun down and he opens the door slowly.

  “What happened?” I jump up and lunge into his arms.

  “Someone was out there. Fuck! I saw someone out there. They ran. I tried to run after them. They had a car parked down the dirt road and they drove off.”

  “Oh my God.”

  “They know we have a gun, hopefully they won’t risk coming back here.” He holds onto me as I cry.

  That night, we cuddle close and Ryan never lets go of the gun. As I drift off to sleep, I realize he risked his own life to give me that gun today. I could have turned on him and forced him to take me home or turn himself in. He put my safety above his own to protect me.

  ***

  I wake early Saturday morning. I don’t think I’ve slept all night. Ryan is holding me in his arms. I don’t want to leave him, but today, I have a mission. I have to help him. I have to go see Kim.

  “Ryan.” I whisper.

  “Hhmmm.” He hums as he squeezes my body to his.

  “I have to get in the shower, I want to get to Perky’s early before it gets busy. I need to talk to you before I leave.”

  “Okay, get in the shower. I’ll get us something to eat.”

  I take a quick shower and style my new hair. I put on some extra makeup and I wear my new yoga pants and Miss Me shirt. It’s all I’ve got for now.

  I sit at the table with Ryan eating burnt waffles without syrup and sip on some much needed coffee. We’re both really quiet and a little freaked out about last night.

  “Who do you think it was?”

  “I have no fucking idea.” He says picking at his waffle.

  “Do you think it was the guy? The guy who committed those murders? Or the police?”

  “I saw the car but it was dark. It didn’t look like a police car and why would they run off? Whoever it was knows we’re here now. I really don’t think you should leave alone.”

  “I have to and now more than ever. We have to clear your name and get out of here. The only way to do this is to get to Kim.”

  He’s quiet for a really long time. I don’t know what’s going through his mind.

  “I know. I know. I just……fuck. I don’t like this. I don’t know what’s going on.”

  “Ryan, I have to go. I’ll be okay. Listen, I don’t have any money. I need more clothes. I thought I could pick some things up while I’m out there.”

  “Yeah. I can give you cash.” He looks indifferent. As if he has turned off all of his emotions. I know he’s scared to let me leave by myself, especially after last night. I also think he still doesn’t completely trust that I won’t run or go to the police. He looks so conflicted.

  “Thanks. Listen Ryan, I’ll be okay and I’m coming back okay? I promise.”

  He just nods his head. He looks like a nervous wreck. I stand up and walk towards the door and he follows me with his hands in his pockets and his head hanging. He’s wearing his same old raggedy jeans and plain black t-shirt. He threw his skull cap over his messy hair and I would like nothing more than to forget about all the drama outside the four walls of this cabin and go back to bed with him. I want to run my fingers through his hair and kiss him all over.

  “You know how to get there?”

  “Yeah, once I find my way back to route 50, I should be able to find it. I think I’ll be okay.”

  “Just take the dirt road until it ends. Make a right and the next intersection you come to will be route 50. Make a left. You drive for just a few miles until you get to Gunnison. Follow the signs for Western and you’ll actually pass Perky’s on the way. There are stores around there too, for clothes. Here’s $100. Be careful.”

  “I will. I’ll try to be back in a couple of hours. I can’t call you but please don’t worry if I’m late. I will be back.” I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. It takes a minute, but he finally squeezes me back and holds me for a very long time. I can feel his heart beating fast against my chest. He finally pulls away from me but he can’t seem to look at me. I walk out of the cabin and climb into the family truckster as Ryan stands on the porch watching me drive away.

  I find my way easily to Route 50 and to Gunnison. I’m driving slowly, looking for Perky’s when I finally spot it. I pull in and park. I start to shake nervously. I don’t really have a plan. I just want her to tell me about that night. I’m hoping to pick up on a detail that may help us figure out why she thinks Ryan attacked her. I take a deep breath. I wish I had a fucking way to communicate with Ryan. He’s probably going nuts wondering if I’m turning him into the police right now. It actually hurts my heart that he thinks I would do that to him.

  I walk into the small shop as the bell rings above the door. It’s only 6:30 in the morning and its winter break. College kids aren’t up yet so the place is empty. I walk up to the counter and wait for someone. Finally, a skinny long-haired boy wanders out of the backroom to take my order.

  “What can I get ya?”

  “Um, a medium vanilla latte, please.”

  “Sure, $4.32.” I dig out a twenty from the money Ryan gave me and I hand it to him. My hands are shaking like crazy. He hands me change and I wait at the end of the counter. I don’t see anyone else in here. Maybe she didn’t come back to school. Maybe she just has the day off. Shit! What if I can’t find Kim? What are we going to do? I start to panic.

  “Latte!” The boy yells, setting my drink down. “Must be yours, hey?” He says amused with himself.

  “Yep. Um, do you know if Kim’s working today?”

  “Yeah, she’s scheduled to come in at 7.”

  “Oh, okay. Cool!” I’m somewhat relieved but still a jittery mess and the coffee is making it worse. I grab a seat in front of the window and watch the people getting started on their day. I tap my fingers nervously. I feel like I’m dreaming. I’m dreaming that I’m in a murder mystery, trying to solve the crime. I’m in my disguise, pretending to be someone else. Shit! Who am I? I’ll be Lindsey. I like that name. Lindsey Presley. No Lindsey Price. Yeah. I’m from Denver. I’m majoring in Finance. Numbers are boring. She won’t ask too many questions. As I’m developing my life story in my head, the door jingles.

  I turn my head and I’m a little taken aback. A young girl walks toward the counter in a Perky’s uniform. She isn’t what I was expecting. She is beautiful. Sweet. She’s tin
y. She’s blonde with big brown eyes. I see faded bruise marks and cuts on her face. All of a sudden I feel sick to my stomach when I think about what happened to her.

  “Hey Kim. It’s dead in here. I’m going to take my break, okay?” Her co-worker shouts.

  “Sure. I’ll be right back.” She walks to the back room and I try to shake my nervousness. I really don’t want to betray her. I feel really weird about this now. She walks out of the backroom tying her apron around her waist. The lanky guy goes to sit at a table in the back with his coffee. Here goes nothing. I walk up to the counter, taking a deep breath and fix a smile on my face.

  “Kim?” She looks up with a frown on her face.

  “Are you a reporter?”

  “What? No! My name is Lindsey. Lindsey Price. I know Carol Benton. We met at a party and I mentioned I was considering attending Western and she told me to talk to Kim Sawyer. Thought maybe you could help me. I don’t know anyone here and I’m visiting this week to see if Western is where I want to be.” I totally just rambled as if reading from a script.

  Ryan knows Kim well and we came up with a story about me meeting a girl she knew in high school so that she would hopefully trust me. Although, I think I just ruined the plan, seeing as I just sounded like I rehearsed that speech a dozen times, which I have. She’s looking at me with complete distrust.

  “How did you know I worked here?” Fuck!

  “I didn’t. I just heard him say your name.” I point to the boy. She looks completely unconvinced.

  “Um, sure. I can show you around. Introduce you to a few people.” I feel awful. She is too sweet and can’t say no even though she knows I’m not being truthful.

  “Want to meet for coffee or something?” Damn! That was stupid since we are in a coffee shop where she is working as we speak.

  “I have a break at 10. We can have coffee then? Here?”

  “Great! I’ll come back. Thanks!” I say a bit too anxiously.

  I take my coffee and drive to the Walmart I passed on the way in telling myself to breathe in and breathe out. I have almost three hours. I wander around, pushing my squeaky cart. I find a pair of skinny jeans. I throw two basic tees in the cart and a package of Hanes underwear. I don’t want to spend too much of Ryan’s money. I think that’s good for now. I stroll up and down the food aisles trying to pass time until two hours have gone by and I just can’t stand to be in here any longer. I pay for my clothes and get back in the truckster. I still have an hour before her break. It sucks not having a phone. What did people do with themselves before mobile devices? This sucks.

  I sit in the Walmart parking lot until I see a cop car circle the lot slowly. Shit. I duck down in my seat, my heart rate increasing and my skin becoming clammy. I lift my head slightly and notice him parked three aisles over in the back of the lot. He’s just sitting there. Fifteen minutes later, he leaves. I blow out all of the breath I was holding and sit until I feel like I can drive. I head over to Perky’s and pray I’m not followed. I’m totally paranoid now. By the time I get to Perky’s, it is 9:45. I decide to go in and wait for Kim.

  At exactly 10am, Kim heads over to my table. Before I can get a word out, she sits and lets out a long breath. “Listen, I don’t know who you are and if you’re a reporter or not, I don’t care. What do you want to know?”

  I’m a little shocked and not sure what to say. She just gave me an opening. She wants to talk. Should I just ask her to tell me? “I’m not a reporter.” I assure her.

  “You look really familiar to me.”

  Shit. She’s no doubt been following the news and has seen my picture. I look nothing like that picture right now though.

  “Um, I’m sorry. Listen, I do know what happened to you but I am just a potential student and I was really just looking for friendship. That’s all.”

  She nods her head. “Sorry. I’m not a bitch, I’m just tired of being followed around by reporters. I feel like I’m being watched all the time. I’m just kind of freaked out.”

  “I’m so sorry for what you went through. I don’t know the entire story but I’m a good listener if you ever need to talk. I know I’m a stranger but I can be a good friend.”

  “Thanks Lindsey. So, you’re looking at Western, huh? Even after what happened?” I need to play dumb here.

  “Um, well they’re close to catching him right?”

  “Yeah.” She looks away, tears glossing her eyes.

  “Why would he do that to you?” I ask, going for the punch.

  “I don’t know.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know.” She says sniffling, wiping her nose.

  She’s obviously still very conflicted about what happened. I don’t want to push too fast.

  “So, Lindsey?” She shakes off the memory that was torturing her just now. “Why Western and what are you going to major in?”

  “I wanted a smaller college. I think it’s beautiful here and I’m majoring in Finance. I know. Boring, right?”

  “No, not boring. You must be smart. Where are you from?”

  “Denver.” I really don’t want her asking too many questions. I’m afraid I’ll slip up. “So, I was hoping maybe we could set up time to walk around campus. Maybe you can introduce me to some people?”

  “Well, most kids are gone until after New Year’s but, hey!” She bursts out as an idea pops into her head. “My best friend Kayla is having a New Year’s Party at her parent’s house not far from here. The kids that are here will be there. She throws a party every year. It isn’t like a dorm party. It’s pretty low key but you can meet some people.”

  “That sounds great.”

  She pulls out her phone. “Let me get your number and I’ll text you.”

  “Oh, I lost my phone. Can you just write down the address and directions?”

  “Oh, sure. Sucks you lost your phone. I don’t know what I’d do without mine.”

  “Believe me. It sucks bad.”

  “My break is over.” She hands me the paper. “I hope I see you there!”

  “You will. Thanks Kim.”

  Perfect. A party. Maybe she’ll tell me what happened and I can get a good read on her friends as well. Someone had to have seen something that night.

  I’m flustered pulling out of Western, completely absorbed in my thoughts when I realize, I have no idea where I am. I just have to find my way to route 50. This is what happens when you don’t have a GPS. I drive down streets looking for signs, turning every which way. I finally see a sign that takes me to Route 50. It’s not the same exit I used coming here and I’m completely turned around. I merge onto the road and drive several miles but nothing looks familiar. I decide I need to turn around. It must be the other way. Shit. I’ve been gone for four hours.

  Chapter 13 - Ryan

  As soon as I watch her pull away from the cabin, I feel a stabbing pain in my chest. I slam the door to the cabin and immediately open a bottle of wine. I don’t even bother with a glass. I need something to take this edge off. I need to ease the pounding in my chest and to numb the dark thoughts swirling in my head. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m wanted for murder. Everyone I know thinks I’m a monster, including my best friend. I’m being hunted and I know they’re close. I feel it. As if dealing with this fucked up shit on my own wasn’t bad enough, now Ness is involved. I took her, held her captive, kept her from her family and seduced her. Now, I’ve allowed her to leave me. I don’t know if the twist I feel in my gut is because I’m afraid I’ll lose her and I think I love her or that I might be going to prison today if she turns me in. My heart tells me that she truly cares about me and wants to help me, that she believes I’m innocent. She even tells me so. My brain, on the other hand, keeps winning the argument, telling me that I’m a stupid fuck and that she is desperate to get home and has done everything possible to earn my trust just waiting for this opportunity to run. I mean, really, how could she care for me? I held her prisoner. Whether she believes I’m innocent of the murders or not, I’m still a monster.r />
  I take a long swig of the wine and sit on the chair in front of the fireplace. One bottle of wine turns to two. Paranoia starts to kick in and I keep checking the window for the police car I swear I hear pulling up the drive with sirens on and lights flashing. I can picture her face as she stands next to the car watching me get handcuffed and taken away. A look of satisfaction. Kim could be with her, telling her the gruesome things she thinks I did to her. I can see the look of disgust on their faces.

  I open the third bottle and glance at the clock on the stove. She’s been gone for four hours. I think about the gun. I would rather die than go to prison for murder. I have no one. No one would care. I shuffle into the bedroom, spotting the handcuffs and the knife on the nightstand, a condom lay next to the knife. I swipe the back of my hand over my eyes trying to clear my vision and then I open the drawer to the nightstand starting at the pistol taunting me.

  “Ryan!” I turn around and stagger towards her voice with the wine bottle in my hand.

  “Why did you fucking come back here?” I shout at her.

  “I told you I would.” She says, eyeing the bottle in my hand.

  “Did you talk to Kim? What did she say? Did she tell you how I forced myself on her and then carved her up? Did you believe her? Did you two go to the police together?” I slur.

  “No, Ryan. Why are you drinking? You’re drunk!”

  “I didn’t think you were coming back. I was waiting for the police.”

  “God Ryan. You have to put the wine down. It’s not going to help. The police aren’t coming. I thought you trusted me?”

  “The police are coming!” I grab my hair pulling on the ends. I can’t take it anymore. “Fuck!! I’m going to prison. I didn’t do it Ness!! It wasn’t me. Did you and Kim go to the police?! Do you know who was here last night? Did you tell someone?” I’m pacing furiously. I have this anger raging inside me that needs to come out. I need to hit something. I throw the bottle of wine in my hand at the wall, screaming in frustration. Glass shatters all around the floor. She backs away from me cowering in the corner of the room.