Blush

by Lauren Jameson

  No, she was aroused, aroused by the image of herself in his lap, her bare skin beneath his palm.

  “I beg your pardon?” Her mouth opened and closed silently, and she was sure that she resembled nothing so much as a fish.

  “You heard me.” His anger faded slightly at her discomfiture. “You should never drink so much at home alone. What if you had passed out? Or got alcohol poisoning?” He flexed his fingers around her wrist, and she shivered. “You’re not very big, and since the bottle is empty, I am assuming that you drank all of that wine yourself.”

  Maddy opened her mouth to argue—she felt like she should be angry with him for lecturing her. She was a grown woman, after all. She found that though she wanted to get mad, the sensation just wasn’t there—he was only speaking the truth, after all. And it was nice . . . In a way, it was nice to find that someone cared.

  “You’re right.” She muttered the words, then tried to move her hand. Her stomach was protesting its lack of solid food. She needed to eat.

  Alex held firm.

  “Do you want your breakfast?”

  Maddy narrowed her eyes at him, then nodded. Of course she wanted her breakfast. What kind of question was that?

  “Then promise you’ll never put yourself in danger so stupidly again.”

  She was taken aback. Who demanded such a thing? And why did he care?

  Her stomach growled. “Fine. I promise.”

  He released his grip on her wrist slowly, letting his fingers trail down the smooth skin on the inside of her forearm. She found that the pancakes had lost their appeal compared to the feeling of his hands on her skin.

  Reclaiming his hand, he steepled his fingers and tucked them beneath his chin. Hesitantly, Maddy cut a bite of pancake and chewed slowly. At the moment, it was the best thing she’d ever eaten.

  She swallowed and spoke. “I promise to try, anyway.” She choked a bit on her grapefruit juice, surprised and amused to hear Alex Fraser hiss in frustration.

  “You think it’s funny?” His voice was silk covering steel, and she was suddenly wary. He stood, walked behind her. Grabbing the nape of her neck in his hand, he stroked lightly over her vertebrae.

  “Eat.” Yet she couldn’t eat, not with his fingers on her. She tried to protest, but he hushed her with a soft sound. “Eat.”

  Maddy lifted a strip of bacon to her lips and bit. It was dry in her mouth, all of her senses focused on the touch of his hands on her neck. But she chewed, she swallowed, and she was rewarded with the movement of his hands. He rubbed her neck briefly, his fingers massaging her muscles. She arched into the touch, but it was brief, just a tease.

  Eager for more of his touch, Maddy again bit, chewed, swallowed. This time he trailed his finger up the length of her spine.

  They continued in that manner until she had emptied her plate. None of his touches were overtly sexual, but by the time her belly was full, she was a quivering mass of hot, needy nerves.

  “Very good. Maddy . . .” His hands descended onto her shoulders, rubbing in slow circles down and out, coming very close to her breasts but not touching them.

  She felt his breath on her earlobe, then the brush of his lips on her hair.

  “What is it about you?” His voice was soft.

  What was it about her? What was it about him? In the last twenty-four hours, he had resisted her drunken advances, tucked her chastely into bed, threatened to spank her, and fed her pancakes. She was confused, needy, and above all, heavily aroused.

  His fingers moved lower, trailing from her neck and down over her spine, exploring the lump of each vertebrae. He leaned forward—she could tell because she could feel the warmth of his breath on the top of her head.

  She felt the weight of his lips as he planted the lightest of kisses there. His lips traveled to the nape of her neck, and she stiffened, but it was with desire, not displeasure.

  A sigh caught in her throat as the shrill automated sound of her cell phone ringing sliced through air that was thick with a delicious tension. She started, and Alex’s fingers pressed into her neck.

  Maddy leaned back against his touch. “I’ll let it go to voice mail.” She didn’t care who was on the other end—she felt as if she would never be able to get enough of Alex’s fingers on her skin.

  He removed them—cruelly, she thought.

  “It could be important.” In his voice was a quiet reprimand, and she remembered that she hadn’t answered the phone when he’d called the night before. His tone was harsher than she thought was strictly necessary. It reminded her that she didn’t appreciate being scolded, and she narrowed her eyes as she considered letting the phone keep ringing, just because.

  He did have a point, though. Heaving an exasperated sigh, Maddy reached for the cell that was sitting on the kitchen table, at the edge of her now empty plate.

  She glanced at the caller ID before accepting the call. It was Dr. Gill’s office—why would they be calling her?

  Shit—shit! Her appointment. She’d forgotten all about her appointment yesterday.

  “I’m so sorry!” Maddy tried to stand as she held the phone to her ear, but Alex pressed a hand to her shoulder, gently, and it held her in place. She twisted in the chair to cast an irritated glance at him.

  She didn’t really want him to hear this conversation. She didn’t want him to know that she was in therapy. No matter how strong this feeling was, however, she felt the need to obey him. That confused her enough that she stopped struggling, just for a second. He seemed to be a dominant kind of guy, true enough, but it didn’t explain why she wanted to do what he said when it went against what she wanted.

  “Is everything all right, Madeline?” Dr. Gill’s gentle voice echoed in the speaker of her cell phone. “It is not like you to miss an appointment.”

  “Yes, yes. Everything is fine.” Alex’s hand had stayed on her shoulder and was squeezing slightly. She wasn’t sure if she was telling the truth or lying to the doctor, however.

  Things had been different since Alex Fraser entered her world, but she wasn’t yet sure of her feelings on the subject.

  “Shall we reschedule, then?” Dr. Gill spoke after a pause, and Maddy sensed that the doctor was surprised Maddy hadn’t brought the subject up by herself. “Tomorrow at five o’clock? I have had a cancellation.”

  Hurriedly, Maddy agreed to the appointment and ended the call. Right at that moment, she couldn’t think of anything beyond Alex’s touch.

  “What appointment did you miss?” Alex removed his hands, and Maddy’s first thought was to despair the loss of his caress.

  “Just . . . an appointment with my therapist.” It wasn’t a shameful thing, seeing a therapist. In fact, she was proud of herself for taking control of her life, but she just didn’t want to go into detail with this man, this beautiful man who had so unexpectedly entered her life.

  Alex studied her for a long moment, nodding, but the look on his face was hard to decipher. “I see.”

  • • •

  Alex’s gut tightened as he examined Maddy’s face for a long moment, then turned to cross the room.

  All throughout breakfast, he’d been convinced that he’d gotten lucky, that Maddy might just be perfect for him.

  Then, though she couldn’t have known how he felt about the subject, she’d mentioned therapy, specifically her therapist.

  If Alex believed in such things, he would have said that the universe was trying to tell him something.

  I can’t do this. Therapy might have been an unlikely sticking point, but it was a deal breaker for him.

  “Will I see you again?” Maddy’s voice was soft behind him, soft but strong. It stopped him in his tracks.

  Most women would never have dared to ask him something so bold.

  Madeline Stone was far stronger than most women.

  No. Alex thought back to his own experience in therapy and shuddered. He’d been hardly more than a teenager, had been confused by his sexual need for control.

&n
bsp; It hadn’t gone well. And that was just a reminder that he was better off with one of the women from In Vino Veritas, one of the women who knew the score, even if it didn’t fulfill him totally.

  Steeling himself, Alex didn’t reply.

  The scrape of a chair told him that Maddy was now standing. He turned to face her—he owed her that.

  “I’m not what you need, Maddy.” His voice was a whisper.

  Hesitantly, she crossed the floor to him. God, but he wanted to see her again, more than he’d wanted anything, ever.

  She whispered, too. “Let me decide what I want.”

  “Therein lies the problem.” Alex’s lips quirked up in a smile that held no amusement.

  Maddy looked puzzled in response. She reached out and traced a finger slowly over the ink of the tattoo that was peeking out from the sleeve of his shirt. He closed his eyes against the feeling of her soft, tentative fingers on his skin.

  Yes, he wanted her, but he wouldn’t take her.

  “I have to go, Madeline.” Her fingers clenched on his arm, her nails digging into his skin. They both looked down at where they were touching, her pale fingers with the neat oblong nails, his skin, tanned golden from the sun and stretched tightly over solid muscle.

  “Fuck.” Alex’s body moved so fast that his brain didn’t have a chance to catch up. Then his hands were fisted in the length of her hair and she was pinioned beneath him against the wall. His hips pressed into the soft curve of her belly as he kissed her with all the pent-up desire and frustration he’d felt since he’d met her.

  His tongue parted her lips roughly, demanding entrance. He traced the pattern of her teeth, her tongue, staking his claim, nipping at her lip sharply. Then, as quickly as it had begun, it was over. Pulling his hands from the tangles of her hair, he released her, and Maddy leaned against the cool plaster of the wall, wide-eyed and panting.

  “Fuck.” Alex cursed as he watched her lift her hand tentatively to touch lips swollen from the assault. She moved her mouth, but nothing came out.

  “Maddy. We can’t do this.” Alex choked out the words before turning and slamming the screen door behind him. He was furious with himself for losing control, for tasting her again.

  No matter what his mind said, he knew that one taste was never going to be enough.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  At her appointment with Dr. Gill the next day, Maddy knew she was holding back. She was pretty sure that the doctor knew it, too, but Dr. Gill had never been one to press, instead preferring her patients to come to their own conclusions.

  “Have you set any goals for the next week, Maddy? Anything off of your list?” Dr. Gill asked this as Maddy was slinging the strap of her purse over her shoulder. Maddy paused, not entirely sure of how to answer.

  She had found something new that she wanted to explore—namely, Alex Fraser. However, he wasn’t cooperating, and Maddy had no illusions about who was going to win the battle.

  “I haven’t quite decided yet, Dr. Gill. I’ll think about it.” The other woman smiled at her, her expression comforting as she gathered up her notes.

  “Don’t make it a hugely stressful event if you’re already feeling uptight, Maddy. It can be as simple as filling up your car at a new gas station. The important thing is just to do something, to push yourself into taking forward steps.”

  Maddy sighed as she left the office. Her footsteps were muffled by the industrial carpeting.

  Surprisingly, Alex calmed her nerves. His presence in her life had soothed her in a way she’d never expected. Around him, she could probably go to a new gas station every day of the damn week.

  Buck up, Maddy. Alex had made his decision. Instead of feeling wistful, wondering what had gone wrong, Maddy found that she was angry.

  There was something between them. She had no idea why it was there, but it nevertheless existed. The fact that he was fighting it so hard pissed her off.

  • • •

  Maddy pushed through the glass door of the building, stepping out into the late-afternoon sunlight, where she found Alex leaning against the dinged metal of her car.

  “Well, shit.” It gave her a start, the juxtaposition of the magazine-perfect man and something that belonged to her.

  “What are you doing here?” Nerves clung to her like static-charged fabric, neutralizing some of her anger. By showing up, Alex had thrown her off her game—well, more so than she’d already been—and she was having trouble telling which way was up.

  She wasn’t sad, though. This was new. Normally, an hour spent with Dr. Gill meant an hour spent crying, and she would emerge shaking and exhausted.

  Alex waited a minute before responding, and it seemed as though he didn’t quite know how to answer her question. “I couldn’t stay away.” His face was serious as he spoke, and Maddy knew that he was speaking the truth.

  “Why?” She couldn’t help but ask the question. She didn’t think she had low self-esteem, but she was just an average woman—she was a waitress, she had average looks, she’d never done anything very special with her life. He was akin to a movie star—unnaturally beautiful, rich beyond her wildest dreams, and fascinating.

  It just didn’t match up, at least not in her head.

  Alex shook his head in answer to her question, and Maddy knew that he wasn’t going to answer. Instead he changed the subject.

  “Why do you think you need to see a therapist?” His voice was flat, and Maddy understood immediately that he didn’t approve.

  She could deal with him not approving of her seeing a shrink, although she didn’t think it was any of his concern and felt belligerent that he couldn’t understand why someone would meet with a therapist. “It’s none of your business.” The words slipped from her mouth before she could stop them and she barely suppressed her cringe—she’d just told off Vegas’s equivalent of Brad Pitt.

  Maddy waited for him to leave. He didn’t, though he did look a bit stunned that she hadn’t acquiesced to his unspoken request to stop seeing Dr. Gill immediately. The stunned look gave way to severe irritation, and Maddy was gratified when he appeared to swallow it down.

  She took courage in the fact that he hadn’t left her standing alone on asphalt so hot that she could see the air shimmering directly above its sticky surface.

  “How did you find me?”

  Alex quirked an eyebrow, and Maddy realized that he wasn’t used to being questioned. Nor, did she think, was he used to explaining himself, since he didn’t look the least bit embarrassed at the fact that he’d done something rather stalkerlike in waiting outside of her car, outside of her therapist’s office.

  “I have a PI on retainer.” His tone was matter-of-fact—doesn’t everyone have a private eye on call? Maddy shook her head slowly, bewildered.

  “But why would you go to that trouble?” The look in his eyes told Maddy that he knew what she was asking—not why did he have a private eye on retainer, but why had he used his services on her? Why on earth would he go out of his way to track her down? After all, he had already turned her down.

  Once again, he didn’t answer what she’d asked, but instead asked her a question in turn.

  “Would you accompany me to the casino tonight?” Alex stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans—nice ones again, not the worn ones of the night before, Maddy noticed. He looked young, cocky, powerful—it made her mouth dry.

  The visage of Massimo, the owner of A Casino in Paradise, flashed through Maddy’s head, and she shuddered. Something about him discomforted her, and she told Alex so.

  He shook his head and pinned her with that cerulean stare again. “No. El Diablo—my casino. Come have dinner with me.”

  Heat washed over Maddy in a tidal wave, followed by the sensation of a million hummingbirds flocking through her veins. Did that mean what she thought it meant? She couldn’t. She shouldn’t.

  Should she?

  “Say yes.” When he looked at her like that, she knew there was no way she would say anything else.
She wanted to be with this man in a way that astounded her. Even though he ran hot and cold with her, she wanted to take this chance to spend more time with him.

  Maddy nodded her assent—not speaking, afraid to break the spell between them, afraid that with another one of his lightning-quick mood changes, Alex would change his mind again.

  Instead, pleasure enveloped his face, and Maddy felt inexorably pleased that she’d made him so happy.

  “Maddy, there’s something I want to tell you.” Suddenly he was close to her, his hands lightly touching her waist. Her skin felt seared from the heat of his palms. “I’ve tried to stay away from you, but I just can’t get you out of my mind.”

  Maddy smiled nervously. He couldn’t get her out of his head? More like the other way around.

  “Let me go home and change; then I’ll meet you there.” She felt a frisson of panic—what on earth was a woman supposed to wear to dinner with a man like Alex?

  His next words left her mouth hanging open—and without much say in the matter. “Don’t change. You look beautiful just as you are.”

  • • •

  “Miss Stone.” Maddy’s door was opened for her, a man dressed in the sleek black of the casino staff holding out a hand for her as soon as she’d put her car in park. She scrambled for her purse, then allowed herself to be escorted gracefully from the low vehicle.

  As the neon lights of the casino washed over her, she slung the vinyl strap of her purse over her shoulder and tugged uncomfortably at the hem of her shorts. She wished that Alex had given her a chance to run home to change clothing, but instead she was stuck wearing the cotton shorts and simple T-shirt that she had changed into after her shift at the diner, before her appointment with Dr. Gill.

  She also would have appreciated a chance to pack a small overnight bag. It might have been wishful thinking, but she was really hoping that an adult sleepover would follow dinner.

  She shook with nerves at the very thought. The idea both terrified and thrilled her.