Blush

by Lauren Jameson

  This was what she wanted—when he looked at her, when he touched her, she felt alive.

  Now that he’d showed her the room, his touches—his attitude itself—had become exponentially more sexual. It was as if, now that he’d told her it was her decision to make, he was going to make damn sure that she decided in the manner he wanted.

  “I am interested in you, Madeline. Very, very interested in you. But I am not ultimately interested in a vanilla relationship.”

  Maddy’s stomach rolled and her mood soared before crashing. How was she supposed to take this news? What was he saying? She wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted herself, but she knew from past experience that the idea of casual sex didn’t sit well with her. Still, she wanted Alex and was tempted to take whatever she could get.

  “So . . . you want to . . . whip me?” Maddy could feel herself blushing further, but it wasn’t fully with embarrassment. A mental image of herself pressed against that massive wooden post in his dungeon, the flick of that coiled leather whip against her skin, did something to her insides, making her feel feverish all over.

  She was surprised that she wanted that image to become a reality.

  Alex smiled at her, but his eyes darkened with something that looked surprisingly like hunger, and she knew that he was thinking along the same lines as she was.

  “It’s more complex than that, Maddy. I am a Dominant. I want, very much want, for you to be my submissive. I want to use everything in that room with you, in every imaginable way.” He paused and sipped, giving her a moment to process.

  “For you, I’d be tempted to try something vanilla, but you need to know that ultimately I wouldn’t be happy. I need . . . more . . . than the vanilla world offers.”

  “Vanilla?” Maddy’s mouth went dry.

  “I’m not interested in regular sex. No dominance, no submission. No bondage, no discipline.” When Alex said the words, they sounded dark and delicious, even as they scared and titillated.

  “As a Dominant, I might use punishment to train you in the proper behavior for a submissive, but the end goal is pleasure—a lot of pleasure—for both of us.”

  “You are so not punishing me.” Her knee-jerk reaction was to reject the very idea. She didn’t want that.

  Did she?

  Pleasure. Punishment. Maddy had never thought of the two together, but as Alex’s words twined them irrevocably in her psyche, she found that she thrilled to them.

  Punishment.

  Her Catholic-school upbringing, long buried, started frantically clawing through the rubble in which it had been buried. Good girls didn’t want to be punished. Good girls weren’t intrigued by secret, locked rooms that were filled with whips and chains.

  “I understand that you’ll need to consider it.” Alex trailed his hand over her cheek, and as Maddy looked into his eyes, she knew that, no matter how strange this conversation was, she wanted to be with this man.

  Wanting to touch him, to reassure herself that she wasn’t dreaming, Maddy lifted her hand to where his fingers still rested on her cheek, twining their hands together.

  “Right.” Yes, she should probably think about this before jumping straight into his arms. This was a serious matter—whips. Pain. Punishment.

  “We can talk. You can ask me anything, anything at all.” His other hand reached up to her face, so that the warmth of his palms heated her cheeks. “Think about what you like about sex. Go from there.”

  “I don’t like sex.” Maddy physically recoiled as soon as she said the words, pulling back. Shit. Shit. Why had she said that? It was the truth—she’d never really seen what all the fuss was about—but added to it was this unfamiliar heat that Alex brought out in her, a heat that she very much wanted to explore.

  She expected him to react to the strangeness of her statement—what kind of grown woman didn’t like sex? Instead his features were painted in surprise, then heat.

  Clasping her tightly around the waist, he tugged her forward until she straddled his lap. The bare skin of her legs was abraded by the denim of his jeans, and Maddy could feel his hardness against her heat.

  “You haven’t had sex with me.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  Alex continued their conversation as if unaware of Maddy’s extreme arousal and nervousness. “Do you know why people embrace submission as a lifestyle, Maddy?”

  She was standing beside a massive bed that was draped in steel gray sheets, in Alex Fraser’s bedroom. He was standing behind her, the lean planes of his body a whisper away from her. He was stroking his hands lightly down her spine, in a touch as light as a feather, yet her world had narrowed in to focus on that ghostly sensation.

  She shook her head; she couldn’t speak. This was it, then. She was going to have sex with Alex. And if he couldn’t make her like it, then there wasn’t much hope.

  She was pretty damn sure that she was going to like it.

  “Because there is pleasure in being powerless. Being powerless is sensual, in that it allows you to explore your senses more fully than vanilla sex will ever allow you to.” His finger dipped below the neckline of her shirt to trace her shoulders, then around to paint over her collarbone. “Take off your shirt.”

  “Now?” Maddy froze—what would he think of her naked? She had marks, pale scars from the car accident, that she didn’t want his assessing eyes to see.

  “Take off your shirt, Madeline.” His voice became layered with steel, and she wondered what he would do if she refused.

  Maddy’s mind flashed back to the room that he called the dungeon and to the mysterious tools that she’d seen. She wasn’t sure that she was ready to find out what he’d do if she refused. What else was there to do, then? After all, she wanted this, wanted him.

  She crossed her arms at her waist and took her cotton tee in damp fingers. One swift tug and her torso was bare.

  “Ah, you’re so beautiful.” Maddy felt Alex’s soft touch down her spine, exploring the bumps of her vertebrae. “That skin—cream and berries.”

  The striping of his fingers dipped just below the waistband of her shorts, just above the crease of her behind, before flying back up to the nape of her neck and beginning again. This time, when he reached the clasp of her bra, he deftly undid the hooks, and the garment fell to her wrists.

  “Let it fall.” Trembling like a blade of grass in the wind, she flicked her wrists and let the bra drop to the ground. His hands slid from her spine to trace her ribs, feathering over her belly.

  “I am going to take off your shorts.” His voice was matter-of-fact, and Maddy knew that, whether she was scared to be naked or not, her shorts were coming off. She held her breath as his fingers worked the button from its clasp, then tugged down the zipper. The metal sounded harsh in the hushed air of the room, followed by the soft shushing of khaki as it slid over her hips and down her legs.

  Maddy was naked with Alex Fraser. Holy hell.

  “Close your eyes.”

  She hesitated just a moment, and he took his hands off of her completely. She whimpered with want and need.

  He clasped her tightly around her waist and brushed a kiss on the top of her head. “Good girl.” Pushing slightly, Alex guided her the few short steps to his bed, then turned her around and pushed her back. The silky softness of his plush mattress hit the backs of her knees, and she sat, then lay down, guided all the while by his hands.

  She could feel the mattress dip when Alex sat beside her. She turned toward him, started to open her eyes, but a warning growl from deep in his throat had her squeezing them shut again.

  “Do you want to explore one of your senses, Madeline?” Blindly, she nodded, her hips shifting restlessly. She was conscious that, with her front to him, he could see parts of her that she’d rather he not. Strangely, he didn’t seem to mind her scars, or even to notice, and after a few minutes she relaxed a bit.

  Something soft brushed over her cheek. She suspected it wasn’t his finger. It felt even softer, lighter on her skin. It moved
over her cheekbone, then over her lips. It flirted with the curve of her neck, then caressed the hollow between her breasts.

  She cried out when the softness played over first one nipple, then the other.

  “What is that?” Maddy’s hips bucked, and her voice was a whimper.

  “Shh.” Even in a whisper, he managed to admonish her. “Do you like it?”

  She sighed in affirmation. The softness trailed down her belly and swept between her thighs.

  “Oh.” The pressure was so soft, yet so insistent. She wanted . . . oh, she wanted more.

  “Isn’t it amazing that something as insubstantial as a feather can cause so much sensation?” His voice was thick, thick with desire, she thought. “Now imagine that intensified, magnified a hundredfold.”

  Maddy twisted her fingers in the sheets. She wasn’t sure if she would even survive this.

  “You taste so sweet.” His tongue tasted along her jawline as his finger replaced the feather, tickling the soft skin between her thighs, and she gasped at the change in pressure.

  Her eyes fluttered open, and the finger was withdrawn.

  “Do that again, and I will turn you over my knee.” Alex’s voice was slightly breathless, and Maddy’s mouth fell open. She studied his face for a long moment before letting her eyes fall closed again.

  He was serious. And she wanted nothing more in that moment than for his touch to return.

  “Brat,” he murmured as he stroked through her slit. “You like pushing boundaries. It will be fun to teach you to submit.”

  Maddy quivered under Alex’s ministrations.

  He stroked back and forth through her lower lips, and she shifted restlessly. Just when she thought that she couldn’t handle it anymore, he slipped a finger inside of her and at the same time pressed against her clit with his thumb. She was so aroused from the teasing that the pressure made her shatter, her eyes flying open as stars danced in front of them.

  “Ahh!” She felt as if she had lost control over her body—and reveled in the sensation. Maddy had never, never felt anything like it before. She was focused solely on the pleasure that was rocketing through her body. When the shudders subsided, she blinked slowly, taking in her surroundings as she came back to herself.

  Alex had divested himself of his clothing and sheathed his erection in latex. Positioning himself between her legs as she lay on his bed, panting, he pushed her legs farther apart with rough hands and placed his cock at her entrance.

  “Fuck, Maddy. I need to have you.” He slammed into her in a hard thrust, bending to cover her mouth with his own at the same time. Maddy arched up to meet him—this was what she’d been begging for, this feeling of fullness. He was bigger than any man she’d been with before and filled her to the point of pain. It was good pain, stretching her, making her feel alive.

  His mouth swallowed her moans. He kissed her over and over, exploring her mouth as he thrusted. There was nothing teasing or gentle about his touch any longer—he was possessing her, branding her with his touch.

  “Maddy.” She could feel his thighs tense, and she wrapped her legs around his waist with all of her strength. “Say my name.”

  “Alex.” His pace quickened, and his hands found her breasts, pinching the tender tips and sending her flying again. “Alex!”

  The feeling was shorter this time, but more intense, and her cries mingled with his own as he slammed home one final time and groaned.

  She was shattered. Her mind was filled with him and only him. Next she was conscious of him withdrawing from between her legs, then of being picked up and moved so that her head lay pillowed on softness.

  She had never felt more content.

  • • •

  Alex was more than a little bit stunned. It had been years since he’d had vanilla sex, and yet the orgasm he’d just had had been an explosion that started at the base of his spine and ricocheted throughout his entire body.

  Maddy . . . what was it about this woman? He’d never been overly attracted to innocence, so he didn’t think that was it. Besides, as her reaction in the kitchen, when he’d touched her locket, had shown him, she had secrets of her own, ones that she wasn’t likely to share.

  No, she wasn’t as innocent as she appeared, nor as fragile. She was strong and giving, and everything about her appealed to him on a primordial level that urged him to claim her, to mark her.

  Stroking fingers through her hair, he idly wondered what it would take to get her to sign his agreement. He didn’t want to hurt her, as he was sure that he ultimately would in the end, but he’d burned through the reserves that had let him try to stay away from her.

  He wanted to possess her, not as a thing, but as a Dominant did a submissive woman. He knew in his gut that Maddy’s submission would be one of the most beautiful, gratifying things he’d ever experience.

  “Little doe.” Experimentally, Alex ran his hands over her naked thighs, her torso, and up to her breasts. It was never too soon to start the dance that was the relationship between a Dominant and his submissive.

  Maddy sighed, arching into his touch. She stiffened when he ran his fingers between her breasts, then over the chain of her locket. Her body tensed in that moment.

  He wasn’t going to open it—she’d told him no, and he would honor that. But he didn’t like having a part of her closed off, a part that he didn’t have access to.

  A submissive needed to be completely open, or her Dominant couldn’t possibly provide her with what she needed.

  For now, Alex just wanted to coax away one barrier—that was, he wanted Maddy to let him touch the locket, to trust that he wouldn’t open it without her permission.

  “Alex.” The warning note in Maddy’s tone softened as he continued to stroke his fingers over the chain, heating the metal with his skin but never making a move to open it. He felt the muscles of her body relax, bit by bit, as she began to understand that he wouldn’t force her to discuss it.

  “The locket . . .” It was Alex’s turn to tense as her big blue eyes turned up to look right at him. A Dom—not to mention a successful tycoon—learned to read people very, very well, and he could see that Maddy wanted to tell him about the secret hidden inside the brass heart.

  At the last moment, she froze, the shutters in her eyes sealing away her words.

  “Get some rest.” Though disappointed that she’d shied away, Alex was determined. Winning a woman’s submission was so much sweeter than having it handed to him.

  He was going to do whatever he had to, to get her to sign his Dominant/submissive contract and to start the exploration of his lifestyle with him.

  But for now, it was pleasant enough to hold the sweet, fascinating woman in his arms as she drifted off.

  He fell asleep as well, her body entwined with his and the scent of freesia in his nose.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Maddy wakened slowly, the muscles in her body as soft and supple as candle wax. She’d slept well, better than she had at any time in recent memory.

  She opened her eyes gradually, and her stomach clenched in alarm when her sleep-fogged brain realized that she wasn’t where she’d expected to be.

  Her mind circled frantically, trying to piece together the events of the previous night.

  Alex, waiting for her outside Dr. Gill’s office.

  Her drive to his casino, excitement buzzing through her along the way.

  The sensual feast that he had waiting for her . . . the delicious wine . . .

  His dungeon.

  Maddy sat straight up as she remembered, in vivid detail, that strange room at the end of the locked hallway. Her heart began to race.

  She didn’t entirely know what she’d gotten herself into. Things between them had progressed much faster than she’d ever expected.

  Warily, she glanced down at the man who was fast asleep beside her. Heat flushed her skin as she saw the intimate way his hand was curled over her thigh, as she looked down the length of him and remembered the feeling of him
inside of her.

  He was naked, and last night she had touched every bit of his naked self. He had touched her. He had brought her outside of herself in the pleasure they found together.

  It was so incredibly new for her.

  Holding her breath, Maddy removed his hand from her thigh gently. He muttered a bit, then rolled onto his back, still fast asleep. It was so tempting to bend over, to wake him with lips pressed to the pulse just below his jaw.

  But the part of her that was not at all happy to be out of comfortable surroundings trumped the one that was so drawn to this beautiful, enigmatic man, and so she slid out of bed as quietly as she could.

  His breathing changed, and Maddy froze, but it was only for a moment, and then he settled back into a deep sleep.

  Whatever his dreams held—and truthfully, though he had been inside of her, she had no idea what they were—they were clearly better than hers.

  Swallowing against the hard lump that lodged itself in her throat, Maddy clutched a hand to her naked breasts and scanned the room for her clothing. She knew that it was silly to feel exposed when the only other person in the room was sound asleep, but she did regardless.

  Her clothes were lying on the floor, right where she’d dropped them the night before. She could feel herself blushing as she stooped to pick up the shorts and simple T-shirt.

  She’d let herself get carried away with Alex. And though the sensible thing to do would be to accept this for what it was—a night of surprisingly good sex—she already knew that she wanted to do it again. But she had to remember her job was waiting, her therapist was waiting, and so was her bucket list.

  She needed some time, some space away from the all-consuming presence of Alex to gather herself together.

  Maddy raked a hand through her sex-snarled hair and turned to take one last look at him. God, but he was gorgeous. He almost hurt her eyes.