Sunder

by Tara Brown

  He got dressed, feeling the dissatisfaction of the Liv situation, or rather infatuation, pulling him down. She plagued him.

  He looked around the room, wishing his mother had been there to offer him advice or at least a hug. The old house made the longing for his family much worse.

  Wolfville made everything worse.

  He walked to the kitchen, smelling the delightful scent of fresh scones in the air.

  Betsy greeted him with a smile, “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

  He nodded, it was a lie. He never slept well or unwell. He just slept.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I have to run out this afternoon. My sister passed away a few weeks ago. I will have to go over to the store today and help her daughter take over a few things.” Her eyes flashed like he knew what she was talking about. It took him a moment before he nodded. “Of course. Yes. Do you need assistance?” He needed to meet that niece of Betsy’s. He needed to know what help he would have.

  She shook her head. “No, dear. Simple things really. Just making sure she understands the inventory and ordering correctly. My sister ran it for so long that no one but she has seen the books for seventy years, at least.”

  Briton offered her a look filled with remorse. “I am sorry for your loss.”

  She shook her head and muttered, “No, no. She was an old woman. It was her time. She was tired.”

  It wasn’t how the Michaels clan had spoken of it. He sat at the table and took a fresh scone, some lemon curd, and crème fresh. “Is Miles around?”

  She nodded, busying about the kitchen again. “Sleeping still. Last night sure tired him out.”

  “The long drive probably didn’t help. I know I slept longer than I have in ages.” Briton chuckled to himself. He finished the light, buttery scone with a smile. “Delicious.”

  She blushed. “My mother’s recipe. Came with my great-great-great-grandmother’s family from the old country.”

  “I see. I meant to ask you about the girl I danced with. Olive. Do you know if she is in school?” What was he doing? Why did he have to open his mouth?

  She pointed at him. “I forgot to tell you. I asked Jane Michaels about her last night. She is in school. Twelfth grade.”

  He shook his head but looked deeply into her eyes and spoke with conviction, “Ignore my question. Forget I asked you.”

  “Oh, uhm okay. What were we talking about?”

  He sighed. “School has started, has it not?”

  Dear God, stop. He was pleading with himself, but it wasn’t working.

  She nodded. “Oh indeed. Fifth of September this year, I believe.”

  He drummed his fingers against the table. Betsy looked confused. “You can’t be in school anymore?”

  He tried to stop himself but the lie fell from his lips. “I am done my degree in education.” It was true, even if the degree was nearly a hundred years old. “I teach literature and history.” That was the lie.

  “I don’t think there is a need for a teacher here. It’s too bad you hadn’t arrived earlier. Certainly a man such as yourself doesn’t work in something so menial as teaching anyway.”

  He said with a laugh, “I love teaching.” He hated it. Jesus. The lies were dripping from him. He never worked. He had gotten the damned degree because there had been a girl. With him, there had always been a girl. Unfortunately, there hadn’t been a girl like the one plaguing his mind.

  Liv would be the death of him just like his mother had been the death of his father.

  He got up and walked to the door. “I will just pop into the school and let them know if they need a substitute or anything, I am here.”

  He would then stop by the market and see if they had any spare hearts for sale, because apparently his was taken by a schoolgirl. He hated himself and the way the school called to him.

  “All right then.”

  He muttered as he got outside, “I am doomed.”

  Chapter Seven

  Liv

  I looked myself over nervously. I had never been the new kid before, and I wanted at least one friend before the day was done. One besides Josh. Girlfriends were a necessity. I had seen plenty eyeing me up at the ball but none had been brave enough to talk to me. Not even when I had danced with Josh.

  I smiled subconsciously, thinking about Josh. Perhaps he would be my only friend. I could live with that, couldn’t I?

  No. Girlfriends were a necessity. Who would I toil over Josh with? And who would I talk about Briton with?

  No, I needed fiends.

  I looked at my grey skinny jeans, black and white striped, three-quarter-sleeve shirt, and beige dress boots that came to my knees, and smiled. I looked like a city kid. Great. No one would want to hang with me.

  My long hair looked silky and fine, not thick and unruly like it truly was and I had on too much makeup.

  Yikes.

  I grabbed my bag and left feeling like it would be a bit of a hike to get back up on top of the world. I needed friends, besides the ones blowing my phone up from home. I had answered forty-five texts before bed and was already back to thirty. It was only breakfast.

  Chatty bitches. Although I was grateful they hadn’t just forgotten about me.

  I never wanted to move senior year, but at least I was going to try to have as much fun as I could, even in a shit hole like this. I’d always had a dream about senior year, and I was damn well not giving that up. Dad may have fallen in love, but I would have fun senior year. It had to rock. And if anyone could make it rock, besides maybe Kurt from Glee, it was me. I was going to do it. NRA Barbie and a crappy town meant I would have to work harder, but I could do that.

  I mentally scolded myself on the NRA Barbie comment. I was trying to like her. Actually trying.

  Downstairs she smiled at me, looking the beautiful tomboy as ever. “Good morning, Liv. Did you sleep well?”

  I nodded. ”Yeah, I did.”

  It was a lie.

  The red eyes were still haunting me. I looked around. “Where is my dad?”

  “He left already, he had some important stuff to do today.”

  I nodded slowly, trying not to freak on Judith for something that was clearly not her fault. “Better than wishing me luck on my first day of school?” I smiled. “Awesome.”

  I sighed and shook my head, rearranging my thoughts. I needed to stay focused on my mission. The year would rock, even if my dad were a fail at the really important moments.

  I turned and walked from the kitchen, pissed off but not letting it ruin first day of senior year at my new school.

  Granted, I couldn’t believe he would let me go to school on my first day without saying goodbye or good luck or screw you. Anything was better than gone from the house already, like he didn’t even care. I didn’t even know where the friggin’ school was.

  But ‘Honey Badger didn’t care’ and neither did I!

  I stormed to my car, a small dark-blue 2008 Honda Civic, and drove around looking for my new school. I was missing my mother more than ever.

  I parked at the only high school in the wee little town. It was right downtown. Weird.

  The leaves crackled under foot as I made my way to the steps of my new school. I stood there for a second as the warning bell rang. Kids scurried, leaving me alone on the emptying front walkway of the ancient white and red brick school. I looked at the flag whipping around on the pole. There was a huge grass lawn on either side of the wide paved walkway. Maple trees starting to change color dotting the schoolyard and lined the streets I could see.

  Everything was small and old and either white, blue, yellow, or red brick. These fossils of buildings made up the downtown core. I counted yesterday when we had gone for groceries, and thirty-four buildings were all that made up downtown in Wolfville, Maine. The population sign alone, as we had been driving into town, was enough to terrify me—6,411. There were schools back home with more kids than that.

  The narrowing front steps were daunting until I saw his fa
ce in the crowd of kids going inside. He smiled at me and waved. I hurried up the stairs, hugging my bag to my shoulder. “Hey, Josh.”

  He offered his arm when he got to me. “How’s it going? You look nervous, you okay?”

  Taking his arm, I fought the blushing of my cheeks and looked down at the ground. “Good. Nervous—yes, but it’s first day. That’s going to suck no matter what. I have to get into my routine and I’ll be fine. I’m pretty determined to make this a good year.”

  He nudged me slightly. “It’s going to be fine. There’s a party tonight. You have to come. It’s senior year, we have to have fun. I think there is a law about that.”

  “On a Monday?”

  He laughed. “Yeah. The cops and parents are less suspicious on Mondays.”

  I shrugged and looked up into his emerald-colored eyes and nodded. “That’s weird.”

  “Will you come?” He still sounded nervous. I liked that.

  “Sure, that might be fun and it’s a great way to start my mission of having a badass year.”

  He laughed harder. “Don’t sound so excited. It’ll be good. You can meet whoever we don’t see today.”

  He walked me to the office where I got my locker and paperwork, and he showed me where my locker was. He seemed eager to show me off, which was perfect for me.

  He introduced me to so many people I forgot almost all of them instantly. He talked my ear off and waved to everyone. He was like a gift from God. Cute, popular, funny, and not pervy. He was sweet and easygoing and every time I caught him staring at me, his cheeks flushed.

  “So what was your old school like?”

  “A few thousand kids and it was a private school.”

  He looked astonished. “Wow. We barely have a few thousand people in town. The kids come from the neighboring towns though. They have elementary schools but not high school. So the older kids are bused in and out.”

  I winced. “Yikes. How many small towns are there?”

  He pointed at the classroom where we both had history. “Seven or eight. It totals about two hundred kids. So our small school of six hundred is bigger. That’s how come our school is so large.”

  I glanced around, trying desperately not to laugh at it all. The school was the size of a few classrooms or the gym in my old school. “Yeah? I guess, huh?”

  He walked into the classroom and sat down. Everyone was looking at me as I took my seat. I hoped that would wear off soon. No one liked to be the new kid.

  The teacher droned on, I ignored him and watched a girl in the schoolyard. She was walking and not paying attention to anything. Just doing her own thing, crunching the dry leaves on the sidewalk maybe.

  I smiled when she pulled her ear buds out of her pocket, placed them in her ears, and continued to stroll around the outside of the building instead of going in. She looked to be skipping class.

  Mr. Barnes, the teacher, snapped, “Ellen, go and get the new girl. She seems to think we take lessons in the yard.”

  He said yard like a pirate. I kind of liked that. I had noticed it subtly when Josh talked. Everyone here had a little of the pirate talk.

  A girl, I assumed was named Ellen, jumped up. “Yes, sir.”

  We all watched as she ran down the stairs to where the new girl was. They started talking and then walked inside below. When they got into the class, I got a little bit excited. The girl was pretty. She too looked like a city kid. I got a glimmer of hope inside of myself—I might not be alone here.

  New girl might be my new friend. We could be long lost new girl sisters. That might be fun. She might actually have a cell and drink lattes and have no idea what a barn dance was. Apparently there was one on Halloween.

  Our teacher looked less excited about her coming. Mr. Barnes was middle-aged and balding, with big brown glasses and an ugly beige sweater and brown cords. He really looked the part of high school teacher. He was a little out of shape and his face had a roundness to it that made his scowl seem so much more severe and creepy. He scowled at the new girl. “Well, Miss Whitburn, seems you got lost on the way to class.” He looked at Ellen and smiled which didn’t seem to improve his looks. “Thanks, Miss Blackmore. Have a seat anywhere, Miss Whitburn, so we can get back on track.”

  The Whitburn girl kept her eyes down and walked to the only empty seat in the class, which was next to me.

  She looked like the last little piece of joy inside of her died off when Mr. Barnes started his lecture on adjectives. I couldn’t help but stare at her. She was so pretty with her dark hair and silver eyes. She caught me stalker staring. “Uhm, hi.”

  “Hi. I’m new today too.”

  “I’m Elizabeth. Or Liz.”

  I laughed silently. “Liv.”

  She laughed too. “Wow. It’s like our moms planned this out.” She looked modern and pretty and wore normal clothes and hair product. She returned the smile I had stuck on my face and leaned in to whisper, “Two new girls in such a small town must be like lightening striking twice in the same spot.”

  “True story.”

  Chapter Eight

  Liv

  Liz walked up to me in the cafeteria, smiling and holding her school lunch. “Hey, other new girl!”

  I smiled back, holding a tray of food and pointed to a table with a bunch of guys. “Hey back. I’m sitting with some people I just met. Want to join me?”

  Liz blushed. “Oh uhm, that’s okay. I’m going to sit over there. I figured you might be alone too. I don’t need to tag along. That’s cool.”

  I shook my head and grabbed her arm, balancing my tray better. “No, they’re really nice, come on. I really want you to come sit with us.”

  Liz gave me a hesitant look. “Okay, I guess.”

  “They’re just country kids. Really nice, trust me.” I winked. “You know that saying, we aren’t in Kansas anymore?”

  She gave me another weird look. “Yeah.”

  “Well Kansas looks awesome compared to this place.”

  It made her laugh. “Yeah, I got that just by the weird clothes and the whole downtown consisting of thirty-four buildings.”

  “Oh my God, you counted too? Have you seen the shopping?”

  “Yeah.”

  I sighed. “There are no words for a place like this. At least we can shop online still.”

  “I guess.”

  I put my tray down when we got to the table and held my hand out. “This is Elizabeth, she’s new too. She goes by Liz.”

  Josh nodded, looking at Liz with a great amount of respect neither she nor I missed or understood. I could see the weird look on her face.

  His look bugged me a little bit. Josh winked at me. “Yeah, we know who she is. Her family has been here longer than mine.”

  I frowned and looked at her. “I thought you were from San Fran?”

  “My mom escaped when—er, I mean she moved away when she was eighteen. She went to the University of California. I’ve never been here before.”

  I beamed again. “Yeah, me either. My dad married Josh’s distant cousin.” I sat at the table almost slumping dramatically. “At least we have each other.”

  Josh folded his arms across his broad chest and cocked an eyebrow. “You two sound like hostages.”

  “Pretty close. Chicago’s suburbs aren’t even this small.”

  Liz nodded. “It’s like the smallest place I’ve ever been, except this crappy little place I went to once with my mom for a wine tour.” She blushed. “I never even got any wine.”

  Everyone at the table laughed, but she seemed to hate the attention. She gave me a look. “You ever go to small places?”

  “Yeah. Once when my mom was sick, before she died, she asked if my dad could take us to some bed and breakfast on a beach. She wanted a quiet week away from the meds and the doctors. It was brutal. They made me go find crabs under the rocks. Worst weekend ever.” I looked down, feeling the quiet at the table. I looked up. “Oh sorry. It was like four years ago; she was dying for five years. I barely re
member my mother healthy.” Again, no one talked and suddenly words started to fall out awkwardly, “If I think hard enough, I can remember her coming into the kitchen after a run or leaving me with a sitter and she was dressed up, but I was really small.”

  Josh put his hand over mine. “That sucks, Liv.”

  I shook my head, praying someone would just friggin’ talk. I was never going to be a cool kid here. I was a hot mess.