Sunder

by Tara Brown

  She shook her head. “I can’t. I don’t know what to do.” She sobbed into his shoulder, covering her face.

  Ellie put her arms out. “Give her to me.”

  He paused a moment, not sure what she would do. She nodded. “I can do this.”

  He stood and laid her in Ellie’s outstretched arms. She closed her eyes and started to speak. Something came down from the sky, a star maybe. It was bright and when it was close to the roof, everything went white with it. The light was intense, too intense. It was the same as when she left him. He prayed she was back.

  When the light cleared, there wasn’t a sound around them.

  Ellie gave him a look, still holding the limp body of the person he needed the most in the world. Tears fell from Ellie’s cheeks. “What did we do?” she whispered.

  He shook his head, covering his face and letting the shame and tears cover him.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Liv

  The feeling of my heart stopping inside of me burned. Changing into a wolf was nothing, compared to the death I was suffering. I wanted so badly to scream, but I couldn’t, my lips lay still. I felt Ellie touching me, trying to make me wake, but nothing could pull me from the dream world I was stuck in.

  There was no waking from this dream.

  The pain was just there.

  What had happened?

  Had there been a choice about something? I recalled something. A whisper on the wind, a voice that asked me to choose my form. I remember thinking about him, wanting to be like him.

  How had I been so brave as to choose to die with him?

  It had to have been the wolf, she was braver than I was. She remembered things I didn’t.

  I felt her leaving me. She took everything with her. She took my heart.

  The last image I saw of him was his face, whispering something about there never being a kiss destined to something. He was beautiful and then he was gone. In fact, everything was gone. My mind blanked and I lost all sense of time.

  I was still.

  The light surrounded me and my eyes opened.

  I looked around but nothing made sense.

  I was me, and yet, I wasn’t. Who was I?

  I was a girl. I was from somewhere. The place sat on my tongue, taunting me with words I didn’t know. I heard them but they didn’t register. I was naked except for a blanket I had wrapped around myself. I clutched to the blanket and tried to remember where I was.

  Faces surrounded me. Everything blanked for half a second and then I smiled. “Liz!”

  Her bright-silver eyes sparkled like stars in the sky. Tears leaked from them. Couldn’t she hear me? “Liz?”

  She reached for me. “You’re okay?”

  I nodded. “I think so. What happened?”

  Her mom was there. Ellie. I remembered her. There was something about the egg sandwich, I remembered that. My mom came into view. She looked so different. So old and haggard, and yet, alive. My mom was alive? I leapt at her, hugging her. Her heart beat against my chest, echoing off the hollow walls of it. Her hands shook, gripping to me. I was sobbing without understanding it all. “You’re alive?”

  She stroked my head. “I’m so sorry, baby. I am so sorry!” she whispered into my hair. I held her and my thin blanket tightly. “Where are Dad and Judith?”

  She didn’t answer. My stomach sank. Were they okay? I couldn’t remember what had happened. I looked around at the grass and the people around me. Nothing made sense. There had been a crash and screams and the grass. I remembered feeling the grass. There was a hand. A man’s hand. “Where’s Josh?”

  She stroked my head. “He’s safe.”

  Liz was still crying. Was I hurt? I looked down at my hands, they were stained in blood and dirt. There had been an accident, but what was it again?

  My body was panicking with my brain, but I didn’t have a response. I was still confused and lost.

  I turned, seeing the most beautiful guy in the world. He gave me a hopeful look. I smiled politely, hoping my hair and face weren’t a complete disaster. “Hey.”

  He scowled and nodded. His eyes glowed funny. They were the darkest blue I had ever seen, and yet, it was like a light came out from them. I could smell him. I could smell them all.

  It was weird.

  Had I hit my head? I lifted a hand to feel, clutching to my blanket with the other. I felt nothing but hair. I must not have hurt myself very bad.

  But I had scared them all. I could see it on their faces, grief or maybe even terror, real terror.

  The old man next to me dropped to his knees with a huge amount of effort. He took my hand in his. “What do you remember?” I knew him, somehow. He smiled softly. “Just start with the last things you remember.” He must be a doctor. A friend of my dad’s?

  I shook my head. “Chicago, but we moved here. I don’t know the name of the town. I know Liz, she’s my best friend. Her mom Ellie has that weird store with the weird sandwiches. I live with Dad and Judith. My mom died, but she’s here. Oh God. Am I dead too?” I started to get dizzy. “Was there an accident? Did I die?”

  My mom shook her head. “No. Honey. I never died. It was not . . . uhm. I never died. I just left, to try to get better. I was in a coma.”

  She was lying.

  I backed away from her, moving closer to Liz. She was the only person I really trusted there. “Where’s Josh?”

  The old man looked past me to the beautiful man. I glanced back at him. “Do you know where Josh is?”

  He swallowed funny. “Why?”

  I frowned. Yes, why? Why was I searching for Josh? I needed to find him. That was all there was. “Is he hurt?”

  The man shook his head. “He’s fine. He’s sleeping, it’s night.”

  I looked around. It was night. “What are we doing here? Why am I here? Why am I naked? Is this a dream? Where are my dad and Judith? Did I sleep walk? Is this a dream?” I pushed myself away from them all, scrambling to hold my blanket around my naked body. They looked really upset, but I didn’t care. Someone’s heart was racing but it wasn’t mine, oddly enough.

  I looked at each of them, asking, “What happened?”

  No one answered me. My not-so-dead mother didn’t even have an answer for me. They all stood there, looking lost.

  “Fine, don’t tell me.” An ache burned through me. I clutched my chest, moaning and fighting for my breath. I struggled to my feet and started down the road. I wasn’t sure which way was home.

  “Liv, wait.”

  I shook my head. “Leave me alone, all of you.” I walked until I came to an old plantation-looking house I didn’t know but it felt like the right place. It was a massive white mansion.

  I stopped. There was a wall around my brain and I couldn’t get over it. I dropped to my knees in the front yard of the house, just sitting there and staring at the house I didn’t know, and yet, knew better than any other.

  I had the strangest feeling, like my heart was in that house.

  Josh came out the front door. He looked rough, tired and groggy. Of course, this was Josh’s house. That’s why I knew it. I got up and ran to him. He wrapped his arm around me. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded and then shook my head. I got lost for a second, feeling his heart beat against my chest walls. It echoed in my empty chest, like my mother’s had. I closed my eyes. “I think I’m having a very bad dream.” I looked up at him. “We’re dating, right?”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “Uhhhh, no.”

  I scowled. “Yes, we are. I remember us at that dance, dancing. I remember you at school. You had your arm around me.”

  “Liv, trust me, we are not dating! Where is everyone else? Are you okay?”

  I stumbled back from him. “I don’t know.”

  His eyes widened. “You have no heartbeat? Are you dead? Are you a ghost?”

  My lip started to tremble. “I don’t know. Do I look like one?”

  ”You look cold and tired. Why don’t you come inside, and we can
see if you can get some memories back. Briton’s mom and dad are here. I just got here too. I woke at Ellie’s but no one was there.”

  “LIV!”

  A voice called me from behind. Josh’s face relaxed, seeing whoever was behind me. “Oh, thank God, Briton. She’s lost it, dude.”

  I turned to see the beautiful guy from the scene of the crime I still didn’t recall.

  He walked to me, searching my face with his eyes. “You don’t remember me at all?”

  I shook my head. “Should I?”

  Josh pointed at him. “This is your boyfriend. This is his house.”

  My already-stopped heart felt frozen. How was he my boyfriend? How did I not remember him?

  He gave me a heart-breaking look.

  Josh slapped me on the shoulder. “I’ll give you guys some space.”

  I realized then and there, I was standing on the deck of a house I didn’t know with two guys I didn’t really know, in a friggin’ blanket. I looked at the guy, Briton, and asked, “Can you walk me home? I can’t find my phone, and I don’t have clothes.”

  He went inside and came back out with a sweater. He pulled it over my head for me. I struggled and got my arms inside without losing the blanket.

  We started walking in awkward silence.

  “Why did you think you and Josh were dating?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. I just remember him. We danced at the ball, and he always was there at school, talking seriously. I guess I assumed.” I gave him a sideways look. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you.”

  How could I not? He was stunning.

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop what happened. Everything will probably be different now.”

  I nodded. “I don’t even know what’s going on, but I think this is a bad dream.”

  He gave me a weird look. “You don’t have a heartbeat.”

  Josh had said the same thing. I paused, placing my hand on my chest. I fingered my neck, feeling for my pulse. I looked at him, scared and confused. “Am I dead?”

  He shook his head. “No. We just had a weird night. Maybe it is just a bad dream. Maybe we’re both sleeping right now.” He reached over and placed his warm hand on my throat, feeling for the pulse. His touch was soothing. I didn’t know him, but his touch felt like he had been doing it my whole life. I didn’t know how that was possible, and yet was certain my body knew him. I felt it in the touch. It wasn’t a spark or lightning or anything amazing, just a regular touch.

  He scowled. “Weird.” He leaned in, looking into my eyes. “Can you see really far away or smell things better than before?”

  I glanced around, testing his questions. “I guess, yeah. I can hear better too. Like I can hear your heartbeat right now.”

  “That is weird.”

  We continued walking until we were outside of my house. I knew it was mine. I gave him a look when we got to the front door. “Thanks.”

  He swallowed hard. He leaned in, brushing his lips against my cheek. The closeness of his face next to mine was so familiar, I shuddered with a memory. I whispered the first thing that came to my mind. “There never was a kiss destined to such an end.”

  He reacted quickly, lifting his hand to my face, staring into my eyes like he was startled or scared. “What?”

  I shook my head. “You remind me of something I heard once. There never was a kiss destined to such an end.”

  A smile that made my broken heart leap, crossed his lips. “You remember me?”

  I shook my head, but it didn’t stop his smile. He lowered his face to mine, pausing to rest his forehead against mine. “I love you, Liv.” He brushed his lips against mine. It was the most delicate kiss. All the fierceness in him was in his grip. He held me tightly to him, but still his lips gently caressed mine.

  As his tongue slid into my mouth and my hands slid up his chest to his unruly hair, the blanket dropped to the ground. But I didn’t care. I let him lift me into the air. My mind might have forgotten him but my body had not.

  A sharp, stabbing pain like a hot knife slicing across my throat filled me. I moaned into the kiss and tasted his blood.

  It started a fever. The sweetness of his blood took over all of my senses. It was like I had starved all my life, only tasting food for the first time. Part of it was the kiss, but the other part was his blood.

  He pulled back, laughing. I scrambled to grip to him, but my strength was no match for his. He looked up at the sky, “Seriously?”

  I licked my lips, desperate for more of it. He looked at me, his blue eyes glowing. I looked into them, getting lost and found in the same breath.

  We had been lying on the grass, when the voice hovered over me, asking me to choose my form. My heart went to him instantly. I chose to be like him. The curse was broken, and as a result, I was allowed one wish. I could become what he was, so I did. I felt with my tongue, wincing when the sharp fang cut me.

  His glowing eyes. Of course. Briton. He was my Briton. He was mine and I was his and we had chosen to be what the other person had been, desperate to match.

  I started to laugh with him, still struggling with the urge to eat him alive. “You picked to be a wolf?”

  He nodded. His smile turned goofy. He laughed and ran his fingers along my fangs. “You chose to be like me?”

  It all flooded back in. Every detail. I remembered everything. It might have been the blood, but I let it be the kiss that saved me.

  He scooped me up, licking the blood from his lip. “No biting. We need rules.”

  I winced. “You still have to shift. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?”

  He nodded, his blue eyes glistening. “Nothing will ever hurt as much as you not knowing me. If I shift and you suffer from blood lust, we will make it work. Just don’t leave me here without you.”

  Tears flooded my eyes as I realized all of the things I hadn’t thought about. “My dad.” The words came out in a croak.

  He kissed my forehead, muttering into it, “I am so sorry, Liv. But at least your mom is alive and we rescued her and my brother.”

  “Josh’s dad?”

  He shook his head. “There was a wolf there, but he was savage. If he was Josh’s, there is no saving him. He was completely wild.”

  I sighed into him, savoring the feel and smell and completion of being in his arms. He scooped me into them, carrying me into the house and up the stairs. He put me down outside of my shower and pulled his sweater off of me. I shuddered at the feel of his warmth. “Were you always so hot?”

  He laughed. “No. Now you’re tepid and I’m scorching. We may never match.”

  I wrapped myself around him as he carried me into the shower. I nuzzled into his neck and let the hot water blast us. “We match. We have the same heart. It can only beat in one chest, so this time it’s in yours. You just have to take good care of it.”

  He kissed me, softly spreading his heat throughout my body. “I will keep it safe always.” He kissed again and again. “I can’t believe you’re here. I thought I was going to die when you died. I thought God was punishing me for being an evil vampire. I thought you got to go to Heaven and I had to stay and try to earn my way to you.”

  I smiled and looked up at him. His eyes weren’t glowing anymore. “I didn’t die. I was just trying to catch up to you.”

  He kissed my nose. “Never leave me again, even if it’s for a few minutes.”

  He kissed me and I knew what he had meant—never was there a kiss destined to such an end. It had been an end of sorts. An end to the suffering of people like us. But it had been a beginning too. It had been the beginning of us. The real beginning. “Briton, this is our story. This is how it starts.”

  The two lives we had lived together, the first one as farmers in Iceland in 860 BC, and the one now, meshed together. I felt love for both versions of him. But unlike the version where we had died so young, this time we would get forever.

  There was no limit on the amount of time we wou
ld share. It would be infinite. And like the time, our love would have no limits.

  He cupped my face and kissed me softly. “Then let’s start it off right.”

  It felt like the end of the longest journey ever ventured. I had been born over and over, always seeing him or thinking of him or feeling the missing piece of the puzzle. But he hadn’t been born again. The curse had a cost. His father had been a monster made on that field that day, making him born a monster I would spend two thousand years trying to reunite myself with.