by Chloe Walsh
“I don’t have time to mourn, Derek.” Pulling myself to my feet, I walked over to the couch and lifted Hope’s sleeping body into my arms before making my way to the door and muttering, “I’m too busy trying to keep the rest of you alive.”
“Did Lee mention the trial to you?” I asked Derek when I returned from settling Hope in her room. Placing the baby monitor on the coffee table, I stretched my arms over my head and yawned. “Or her mom?”
“Not really, dude,” he said drowsily, my yawning affecting him because he started to yawn loudly. “She basically spent the most of the evening muttering ‘fuck the odds’ to herself.”
Smirking, I lowered myself onto couch and carefully pulled her into my arms. The fact that Lee didn’t even stir proved how exhausted she truly was. Settling back, I rested my head against the couch and cradled her to my body, her head resting in the crook of my arm.
Closing my eyes, I inhaled slowly, savoring the rare moment of silence, the feel of her in my arms, the tranquility that—as soon as the sun rose—would be replaced with worry, fear and doubt. Someday, I thought to myself, some fucking day our lives will be easy like this . . .
“I’m gonna hit the sack,” I heard Derek whisper, but I didn’t bother responding, or opening my eyes. I felt something drape over our bodies, but I was resting too peacefully to check or care.
Later in the night—or was it the early morning?—I felt the lightest of pressure on the inside of my wrist that caused my whole body to heat up. And then her soft, soothing voice was floating through my mind. “I love you, Kyle . . . keep me safe.”
“Always,” I mumbled, the sound of her light breathing lulling me into a blissful state of oblivion.
“Open the door, Linda.” I watched Kyle rap his knuckles against the red painted door and sighed, my breath cutting through the ice-cold air.
Rubbing my hands together in a bid to keep warm, I shuffled around from foot to foot. I was getting pretty sick of watching that man being ignored and treated like this. Neither of us had seen Linda since well before Christmas, besides a card in the post and a very brief text message to Kyle’s phone on New Year’s Day, she’d made no further contact with us. Something was going on with her, that much was obvious, but ignoring and avoiding Kyle was crippling him. She was the only parent he’d ever known, his one constant rock, and in the past six months she’d been edging away from him. It was now at the point where she had resigned from her position of manager at the hotel—Kyle had received that piece of news via Mike—and was avoiding him like the plague.
Walking around the house, I peeked through each window, checking for signs of life. “No sign,” I called out.
“Come on, Linda,” Kyle groaned, as he knocked harder. “Answer the damn door . . . please. I’m freezing my nuts off out here.”
He took his phone from his pocket, fiddled with the screen before he held it to his ear. “Yeah, here’s a message for you,” he snarled into his cell. “This is bullshit, Linda.” Pulling his gray beanie hat off his head, Kyle ran a hand through his hair as he continued to speak colorful to what I presumed was Linda’s voicemail. “I’m worried about you for Christ’s sake. Why the hell are you acting like this?” he growled. “Please just call me back and let me know you’re okay.”
Stalking towards me, Kyle grabbed my hand with his free arm and led me back to the car. “I don’t give a damn what your sister says,” he continued, holding his phone between his ear and shoulder as he opened the passenger door for me. “I know something’s up.” He watched me with intense blue eyes as I climbed in slowly.
Closing my door, Kyle walked around the car and slid into the driver’s seat. “Call me within a week or I’m flying out to see Patty,” he said gruffly before ending the call. Dropping his phone on his lap, Kyle leaned forward and rested his head against the steering wheel. “Why is she doing this to me?” he asked, his voice muffled.
“I don’t know, Kyle,” I whispered as I scooted across my seat to comfort him. “I don’t know, baby.” Wrapping my arms around him, I rested my cheek against his broad back. Even through all the layers of clothing he wore, I could feel his muscles contracting. “Have you tried to call her sister again?”
Patty Nichols was Linda’s sister. She lived in Michigan and, according to Kyle, had called him on several occasions to assure him Linda was fine and just needed a break from all the drama here—caused by us. Kyle didn’t believe her, and because he didn’t believe her neither did I. Kyle had pretty good instincts. His gut-feeling was usually dead on the money and nine times out of ten I trusted his judgment . . .
“There’s no fucking point, princess,” he mumbled. Straightening, he turned to look at me. “She just fills me up with bullshit.”
“Are you going to fly out there?” I asked quietly, but he didn’t answer me right away. Instead he stretched over my body, grabbed my seatbelt and buckled me in.
Planting a soft kiss on my forehead he sat back in his seat and sighed a ragged breath. “No,” he said finally as he twisted the key in the ignition and the car revved to life “Patty made it perfectly clear to me that Linda has her own family to worry about her.” Pulling away from the house, Kyle reached for my hand. “I have my own family, too.”
“I wouldn’t mind if you did, Kyle,” I told him, squeezing his hand, my poor attempt at comforting him. “I know how much she means to you.”
“Do you know how much you mean to me?” he asked softly. Bringing my hand up to his mouth, he kissed to inside of my wrist, causing my whole body to shiver in pleasure. “God, your hands are freezing, baby,” he groaned. “You should be wearing gloves.”
“I forgot,” I breathed, burning up from that one small kiss. “And what do I mean to you?”
“You’re my first place,” he murmured.
“Your first place in what?” I asked as I stared at the side of his face, my heart thundering in my chest.
“In everything,” he replied, glancing sideways at me, his eyes burning with honesty.
“So, how you doing, baby?” he asked in a soft, soothing tone. “With your mom and the trial coming up?”
“I’m okay, Kyle,” I told him. “The trial was always inevitable. At least this way we have a little more time, right?” He nodded stiffly and I rambled on quickly, steering our conversation away from dark waters. “I’m happy about Tracy,” I confessed.
My thoughts drifted to my mother and the text she’d sent me this morning.
Thinking about you. Xxx
I still didn’t know what to say or think. I texted her back and said,
I’m happy you’re here.
It was the truth. I was glad she was back in my life, I just didn’t know how to approach the situation—or how to claw back twenty years of a broken relationship—but the more I thought about having my mother involved in my life, the more . . . excited I became.
I knew that sounded incredibly hypocritical considering how vehemently I’d rebuked her attempts of reconciling in the past, but I had a totally different perspective on things since her confession. I felt a huge amount of guilt for the way I had treated her these past few months, and an even bigger amount for being the reason she had stayed with my father in the first place.
However, the niggling feeling of bitterness was still there, much smaller than before, but still clinging onto some part of my mind that refused to let go of the past. I hoped it would fade with time. Hope’s smiling face was enough of a motive to at least try and bury the hatchet with my mother. I wanted to move on. I would do it for my daughter. I didn’t want the pain and sorrow of my life to seep into hers. I refused to allow it to float into my daughter’s future.
At least she was safely tucked up in Kyle’s house on Thirteenth Street. Rather her than me, I thought to myself with a shudder. Chewing on my bottom lip, I sighed deeply. “She deserves a second chance.”
We drove in silence after that, with our joined hands covering the gearshift, and
I presumed we were going home, but when Kyle drove past the gated entrance of our house, I realized he had other ideas. I didn’t bother asking where he was taking me, I knew Hope was safe at home with Derek, and I was safe here with him.
The radio was turned on and the softy, haunting voice of Gabrielle Aplin was crooning through the speakers as Kyle maneuvered the car around each hilly corner with care. It was snowing lightly, but the warmth inside the car was lulling my body into a state of lazy contentment. “I like this song,” I murmured as I closed my eyes and allowed the words of the song to cloak around me like a blanket of warmth . . .
“The words are so beautiful,” I mused. “The perfect love song.”
“The Power of Love,” Kyle snorted, breaking my trance. Tracing my knuckles with his thumb, he chuckled softly to himself as he geared down and crawled around a jaggedly sharp bend. “Really, baby?”
“Yeah, the power of love, tough guy,” I quipped, opening one eye to peek up at his face. God, he never failed to take my breath away. His face was so freaking beautiful it hurt to look at him. “It reminds me of you,” I added softly. “What about you? What song reminds you of me?”
“Well, considering you’re so goddamn indecisive, I’d have to say The Clash; Should I stay or should I go,” he shot back with a smirk.
“Thanks a lot,” I muttered mulishly, remembering the words of that particular song all too well.
“Creep,” he chuckled.
“You’re a creep,” I growled.
“From Radiohead, Lee,” he laughed. “It’s a song, baby, not an insult.”
“Oh.” My cheeks reddened with embarrassment. “Well, you’re not really a creep . . . Oh my god,” I yelped excitedly, losing my train of thought, when MIKA’s Grace Kelly came on. Turning up the volume full-blast, I grinned at Kyle. “Let’s do this,” I begged. “Come on, I know you know the words.”
Rolling his eyes, Kyle shook his head and smirked. “I want to talk to you,” he mimicked as he tapped his fingers on the wheel.
Clearing my throat, I put on my best English accent and spoke in a dramatic tone of voice.
We both burst out laughing and sang along to the radio, bumping shoulders and shimmying from the side to side in unison.
Every terrible thing that had happened to us faded away for a few minutes and we were just two young people, happy and in-love.
I was terrible, my voice broke on all the high-notes, and Kyle laughed more than he sang, but it was so much fun that I didn’t care about making a fool of myself.
“That was great,” I giggled, half breathless from my disastrous efforts as I clutched my side. “I haven’t had that much fun since we went trick-or-treating.”
“I love you, my little crow,” Kyle chuckled fondly.
Leaning over the seat, I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and grinned. “Love you, too, Pavarotti.”
“Wow,” I breathed when Kyle finally pulled the car over. “This place is amazing,” I whispered as I unfastened my seatbelt and scramble out of the car, gazing in wonder at the view surrounding me. We were high up in the hills, with nothing but white covered mountains and trees.
“I wanted us to be alone for a while,” I heard Kyle say before his arms wrapped around me from behind. “Just you and me,” he said softly as he trailed his lips over my neck. “We never get alone time anymore.”
“Yeah,” I whispered, sagging against his firm chest, covering his hands that were wrapped around my stomach with mine. I closed my eyes and shuddered, pleasure coursing through my veins. “I want time with you, too, Kyle.”
“I’m glad,” he purred, tugging on my ear lobe.
“Why’s that?” I breathed, finding it really hard to form a coherent sentence when Kyle’s lips were causing havoc to my nerves.
“Because I want you,” he growled. Turning me in his arms, he walked me backwards until my back was pressed against the car, and his body was covering mine. “So fucking bad,” he husked before lowering his lips to mine. His tongue probed my lips, looking for access, and I sighed in contentment, kissing him back, caressing his tongue with mine, thrust for erotic thrust.
“Do you want me, Lee?” he growled as his fingers slipped under my coat, digging into my heated flesh. I could feel his erection pressing against me and I groaned in arousal. “I need in, baby.”
Lee looked up at me with wide lustful eyes as she curled her arms around my neck. “Then take me,” she whispered before she cupped my cheeks, pulled my face down to hers and captured my mouth with her soft swollen lips.
I groaned as her tongue swept over my lips. I opened up to take what she was giving me. “There’s no me without you,” she murmured against my lips. The vibration of her words on my mouth sent shocks straight to my groin. “You’re my best friend.”
Jesus, her words sent a tingling warmth through me and I dropped my lips to her neck as my hands wandered under her lacy blouse, needing to feel her.
“You’re mine,” I mumbled as my fingers slipped into the waistband of her jeans, my other hand fumbling around for the door handle “My best friend.” I knew we shouldn’t be doing this. Not in in broad daylight, on the side of a mountain, in the bitter cold, in the month of February, but none of those were good enough reasons to make me stop.
Her fingers tangled in my hair and I watched in appreciation as she pushed me back and slid her jeans and panties down her hips to pool on the ground before stepping out of them and opening the back door of the car. Her hands shook as she unbuttoned her coat and blouse before leaving them fall from her shoulders to the ground. Her eyes locked on mine as she reached behind her and unclasped her bra. It fell away from her body and I was gone.
Sunk. Destroyed. Drowned.
Lowering herself onto the back seat of my car, she spread her legs, raised her brow, and smiled shyly.
I didn’t need to be told twice.
Stripping in record time, I covered her body with mine, my heart thundering in my chest. She reached out slowly and placed the palm of her hand against my chest. “Your heart is racing,” she said, in an almost dreamy tone of voice as she stared into my eyes. “It can hear mine.”
I didn’t move.
I didn’t dare speak and fuck this moment up.
I didn’t have the slightest clue what had gotten into Lee, but right about now I was fucking thrilled. Taking my hand from my lap with her free one, she placed it over her breast. “Can you feel my heart racing?”
I nodded my head and used every ounce of self-restraint in my body not to squeeze. “You’re so dangerous for me,” she whispered as she wrapped her legs around my hips. “You make me feel like I can do anything I’ve ever dreamed of doing. You offer me the world, when all I want is this.” She touched the skin over my heart again.
“Nothing else is going to happen to me,” she whispered, it sounded more like she was asking me than telling me. She looked so vulnerable as she looked up at me like I was her savior . . . "Because you won’t let it, will you?”
I shook my head like a fucking dummy.
Nothing was coming to my mind.
Nothing that wouldn’t make me sound like the biggest pussy on this planet.
“I love you, Kyle Carter,” she said honestly and I couldn’t take anymore.
Lowering my head, I kissed her deeply, kissing her with every emotion I was feeling. She moaned against my lips and after that I went a little insane. Grabbing her thighs, I thrust inside her in one swift movement. I wasn’t gentle and she didn’t complain. I groaned loudly as she tilted her hips upwards, allowing me to sink fully inside of her.
Resting my weight on one arm, I used the other to grab her thigh and wrap it around my waist as I plunged into her, grating my hips so her clit got some friction. With every thrust of my dick, she squeezed me harder, sucked me in tighter. The pressure building inside of me was so fucking sweet it was almost painful. I needed to come, but she was coming first.
“Come on,
princess,” I whispered as I rocked into her. Her back was arching, her eyes were clenched shut as she jerked underneath me. She was close. So fucking close. “Come for me.”
“Keep me safe, Kyle,” she whispered as she grabbed my hips and pulled me closer.
“Always, princess,” I vowed. Leaning down, I pressed my lips to hers and circled my hips. She shattered around me and I went with her, coming hard and hot.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this for you,” Kyle growled, as we stood side by side in the elevator as it ascended to the third floor of the building to where Dr. Carla Mae’s office was located. “I can’t stand this kind of thing, dude,” he added in a petulant tone. This would be my fourth session, and last week she had asked if I could bring my closest member of family to my next session—hence the reluctant, lanky, arrogant bastard standing next to me.
Therapy was helping and Dr. Mae was a freaking goddess. I was finally starting to get a handle on my mood swings and things seemed to be balancing out, which was a huge relief because the past twelve months had come like a wrecking ball, destroying everything in my life until I cracked.
Flipped the hell out.
I knew most guys would rather chew their right arm off than admit something so emasculating as needing therapy, but there it was . . . I had needed help and accepted that without it–and the lanky, arrogant bastard standing next to me—I’d probably be pushing up daisies in the local cemetery.
I also knew that Kyle was doing me a huge favor by being here today. He’d rescheduled a meeting with his attorney, skipped a phone conference at work, and braved the cougar downstairs in reception to be here with me, although conceding some of his sacred control by allowing Lee out of his sight had no doubt cost him the most.
The trial was drawing closer and possessive, controlling Kyle was back with a vengeance, and weeping, submissive Lee was in full force. Fuckers needed therapy more than I did . . .