Shackled

by Ray Garton

"Like dead fish in the sun," Roberts said quietly. "So, you say she's not living in the house she's supposed to be living in. I don't suppose, uh, you could find out where she is living?"

  Roberts could hear the smile in Shockley's voice when he said, I'm a step ahead of you. I'd love to. Now that you've got me interested, and all."

  "I'd appreciate it. And I'd owe you one."

  "The fuck you talkin' about, man? I already owe you half a dozen. This is just one of 'em, okay? I'm happy to do it."

  Roberts's mouth curled into a smile against the receiver's mouthpiece as he said, "Thanks a bunch. I mean it."

  Shockley laughed. "Well, hell, so do I! I'll do what I can and get back to you."

  "Looking forward to it."

  As usual, there were no good-byes; Roberts simply replaced the receiver, then leaned back in his chair with a sigh and, for the first time in some while, a good feeling ...

  PART ELEVEN

  Back in the Dark

  1

  One day — or maybe it was night, he didn't know — Samuel was taken from his room by the woman in the white uniform, down the hall, into the elevator, and, finally, to a brightly lighted room where other men and women in white were bringing other children like himself.

  They were all told to sit on the plush brown carpeting, facing a large, light blue, rectangular board positioned on a giant easel. Beside the easel was a gray-metal folding chair.

  Once he was seated on the floor, Samuel looked around at the others that surrounded him ... other little kids, just like him ... some older than Samuel, some younger ... kids who looked very much like him, naked and hunched forward, ashamed, and looking as if they were walking in their sleep. Each of them wore a black leather studded collar just like Samuel. There were boys and girls, black, white, Asian, Hispanic ... children of all colors. There were so many of them there, all sitting on the floor Indian style in a half circle, facing that board. But none of them were talking. Samuel didn't hear so much as a whisper. In fact, they weren't even looking at each other. They were just staring straight ahead, as if they were watching something, listening to something, even though nothing was happening. Yet.

  Samuel turned to his left. Beside him was a blond boy, about his age, with greasy hair and puffy half circles under his eyes.

  "Hi," Samuel whispered hoarsely. "My name's Samuel."

  Without turning to him, the boy hissed, "Sshhh!"

  On his other side sat a little Asian girl with long black hair that looked matted and unwashed.

  Leaning toward her, he whispered, "My name's Samuel. What's yours?"

  She leaned away from him and shook her head sharply, pressing her lips together hard.

  Why wouldn't they talk to him? Was there something wrong with him? Was he somehow different from these other children around him?

  The room was thick with silence.

  All eyes, half-closed with weariness, stared straight ahead.

  Slowly Samuel turned to look at the back half of the room. It wasn't a very big room ... rectangular ... no windows and only one door. But in the back ...

  Samuel jerked back into place, looking straight ahead, just like the others.

  In the back of the room, several large, hairy men stood along the wall, naked except for tiny black leather panties and their leather masks, arms folded, standing as still as statues.

  He heard the door open and close ... heard footsteps, muffled to a mere whisper by the carpet, move toward the group ... then saw Dr. Jacqueline Melton — Jacquie, he thought — appear before them, smiling and holding a small white box.

  She wore clothes similar to those she'd worn the first time he'd seen her, and every time since: dark and baggy, swallowing her body in cloth. Even her hair was so long and thick that it covered all but the very front of her face, some of which was hidden by those large glasses. The dark red lipstick on her broad smile glistened and her long nails were painted a red to match her lips. Around her neck, she wore a silver chain with a shiny cross hanging upside down from it.

  She set the box on the chair, then joined her hands behind her back and said cheerfully, "Hello, boys and girls!"

  Her eyes scanned the group of children. Dead silence was her only response.

  "Oh, now, come on, everybody," she continued. "You all know me, and I know each and every one of you. So why don't you all relax and just get into the spirit of things here, okay? Now, I'll tell you what. I'm going to say hello to you again, and when I do, I want all of you to say together, 'Hello, Jacquie!' Okay? Now, let's try it." She paused a moment, still smiling, then: "Hello, boys and girls!"

  Samuel's eyes widened as he looked around to see what the others would do; he didn't want to be the only one to respond. The others were doing the same, looking around warily in a tense and smothering silence.

  "Well?" Jacquie said. Finally, it began. Small, hoarse voices speaking hesitantly and quietly, not quite in unison, but close enough: "Hello, Jacquie."

  She grinned. "That's good. And it'll get better as you get more comfortable here. Now. You're probably all wondering why you're here. Well, this is what I like to call the first day of school. But it's not like regular school. There's no homework, no boring textbooks. This is a fun kind of school," she said, clapping her hands enthusiastically on the word "fun." "Here, you're going to hear lots of exciting stories and you'll play fun games, and you'll learn about a very important person, someone you've heard of since you came to this place, but someone you don't quite know yet. Here, you're going to learn about Satan."

  Samuel's back stiffened a bit. He'd heard the name Satan all the time back home, all his life ... but no one had ever talked about the devil the way people spoke of him here. The people here loved Satan, and every time he heard the name, it frightened him. He tried not to show it, but that fear burned in his stomach like fire. It was like waking up one morning to find that everything had turned upside down and everyone was walking around on the ceiling ... everyone but him ... Samuel.

  Jacquie went on: "And everyone gets to play a part in what we do here. Each of you will get to do something." She went to the chair and removed something from the box. "First, I'm going to tell you a story. And I want someone to come up and help me start. Who would like to help?"

  No response.

  "Oh, come on, now, just raise your hands, don't be shy. Everyone will get a turn eventually." Still, no one moved.

  She gave them a sad smile and shook her head slowly. "Oh, well, then, if you won't volunteer, I'll just pick one of you." She looked around, then pointed. "You, Marina. Come on up and help me out. You'll enjoy it, I promise."

  A tiny, frail-looking Hispanic girl stood from the group and, with head bowed shamefully, moved around the others and went to the front to stand before Jacquie.

  She handed the girl a long, colorful piece of material. "Now, Marina, I want you to put this on the blue board — " She pointed to a spot on the left end of the rectangular board. " — right here."

  The girl went to the board, but hesitated.

  "Go ahead, it will stick, I promise. They're both felt."

  She put the material on the board.

  "Thank you, Marina!" Jacquie said happily. "Now, that wasn't hard, was it? Go back to your seat now while I tell you who this is."

  The girl went back to the group, moving a little faster now, as if she were happy to disappear among the others once again.

  "Now, does anyone here have any idea who this might be?" Jacquie asked, pointing to the colorful felt figure on the board.

  It was a beautiful figure with shining golden wings, wearing a white robe decorated with a lot of gems and jewels and a gold crown imbedded with even more. The full hair beneath the crown fell to the shoulders and the face was handsome and smiling, with a strong jaw and bright blue eyes. It was a kind face that was even more than handsome ... it was beautiful.

  "Don't be ashamed if you don't know," Jacquie said, "just take a guess if you have to."

  Samuel knew. It was
an angel, a beautiful angel. But he was terrified to speak up.

  Walking back and forth before them, back and forth, Jacquie said, "Just raise your hands. Come on now. You need to learn to participate. I wouldn't want to have to send you to the training room."

  Tiny gasps rose from the group of children. They all knew what the training room was. That was what they had come to call the room where they were taken when they'd done something wrong, even if they didn't know they'd done something wrong. Samuel had learned that that was where he'd been put into the casket filled with maggots.

  His hand shot into the air.

  Jacquie stopped pacing and grinned. "Yes, Samuel."

  "Thuh-that's, um ... an angel."

  She clapped her hands together. "Very good, Samuel! Yes, this is an angel. You've all heard of angels, haven't you?"

  The children nodded. A couple of them actually squeezed out an "Uh-huh."

  "Well, this is not just any angel. This is the most beautiful angel of all. The most powerful and the most important. This angel's name is Lucifer. Once upon a time, he lived in heaven. You've all heard of heaven, haven't you?"

  More nods, a few more voices of agreement.

  "When he lived in heaven, no angel was more beautiful. Even his name was beautiful because Lucifer means 'angel of light.' He glowed more brightly and flew higher and sang more beautifully than any of the other angels in heaven. But ...” She leaned down and took another felt figure from the white box. "Since you got the last answer right, Samuel, why don't you come up here and put the next one on the board."

  He rose and went to her, took the large piece of felt, and pressed it to the board at the other end, smoothing it out with his other hand. When he took a step back to look at it, he froze.

  It was a grotesquely fat giant of a man sitting on a throne. He, too, wore a white robe decorated with jewels and an even bigger, more brilliant crown. Waves of white hair cascaded over his shoulders and a full white beard fell over his chest. But his face was angry. Bushy white eyebrows gathered above the bridge of his nose. Large eyes narrowed hatefully above dark half circles and his mouth was twisted into a snarl between the mustache and beard.

  The two figures on the board faced each other.

  "Thank you, Samuel. You can go back now."

  His legs trembled a little as he returned. He didn't think he wanted to hear what was coming up ... but he had no choice.

  "Now, does anyone know who this might be?" Jacquie asked.

  A few hands went up.

  "Santa Claus?" one child asked.

  "That's a good guess, but no."

  Another said, "God."

  "Yes, that's right, Paula! Now, let's talk about these two for a while. Lucifer and god. They lived together once, with all those other many, many angels. God was what we might call the king of heaven. But Lucifer was the biggest and brightest of the angels. There were no others more beautiful than Lucifer, or even as beautiful as Lucifer. Now, can anyone guess what life might have been like in heaven then?"

  There was silence for a while, then a timid voice said, "Pretty?"

  "Oh, yes, very pretty. Anything else?"

  Finally, a little girl nearly whispered, "Happy?" and a second later a little boy said, "Fun?"

  "Aahhh, happy and fun," Jacquie said, beginning to pace back and forth again, her eyes meeting with child after child after child as she moved and spoke. "No, no, things were not happy and fun in heaven. And do you know why?" She pointed to the felt figure of god on the board. "The only thing everyone in heaven was allowed to do was praise god. They worked for him, they sang for him, they danced for him ... everything they did, even their thoughts, had to be in praise of god. Whether they liked it or not. Now, tell me, boys and girls, when you do something good, like when you draw a nice picture, don't you want someone to tell you it's good? Don't you want someone to praise your work? Don't you want someone to say, 'Good job'?" She looked at their silent faces for a while. "Of course you do. Everyone does, even grownups. But in heaven ... that was not allowed to happen."

  She took the white box from the chair, put it on the floor, and seated herself, leaning toward the children. "Can you imagine that, boys and girls? Being in a place where you're never allowed to be told that you did something good? Where you're never allowed to be proud of something you'd made ... or sung ... or said? That's what heaven was like. And Lucifer — " She pointed to his figure on the board. " — looked around and saw this and didn't think it was right. He saw all those angels who sang so beautifully and praised god so well ... and he saw that they were getting no praise themselves. He knew how that felt because he was an angel, too! Not only that, but he was the most beautiful, glorious angel in heaven, and he spent all of his time praising god, too ... while god sat on his throne and just waited for more angels to praise him. Does that sound like fun to you, boys and girls?"

  Slowly small heads shook back and forth as they stared at Jacquie with their tired eyes. But not Samuel's head. He sat in place, still and stiff, afraid that if he moved, he might speak up ... because this was a lie. It just wasn't true. It was a twisted, ugly version of the truth ... what Dad would call "blasphemy" ... a word Samuel had a hard time pronouncing.

  "That's right, it wasn't fun," Jacquie went on. "And the more Lucifer thought about it, the more he realized someone needed to do something about it. So he began to talk to some of the other angels in heaven. Quietly, in secret. He told them that it wasn't right for them to have to work so hard praising god without getting anything in return. He told them they deserved recognition for their work, that god had made them slaves to him, forcing them to do nothing but praise him all the time. Lucifer told them that he was just as beautiful and majestic as god and that in order to do something about the unfairness in heaven, they should follow him. He promised that he would do something about their slavery in heaven."

  Slavery? Samuel thought, frowning. That's not right ... that's just not right, it's not true.

  But she went on. "Some of the angels agreed. In fact — " She leaned down and took something from the box. " — many of the angels agreed."

  On the board now, hovering above Lucifer's head, was a throng of angels forming an arc over him, their wings spread, all of them shining a bright gold.

  "But there were many angels who were too afraid of god to listen to the truth," Jacquie said, putting another arc of angels above the hateful, glaring god. "They stayed away from Lucifer, afraid to stop praising god over and over and over again, without getting any thanks or praise. They were too afraid to stop being slaves, and too afraid to follow Lucifer to freedom."

  Samuel clenched his teeth and his fists as he listened, horrified by what he was hearing.

  "So, some of the angels stayed with god, while some of the angels stayed with Lucifer. And do you know what happened?"

  Little heads shook, eyes wide as they listened to a real story ... the only entertainment and positive attention they'd received since being brought to this place.

  But Samuel did not shake his head. He was too afraid of what he was going to hear next.

  "There was a war in heaven. Lucifer and his angels fought god and his angels. Who do you think won?"

  No one moved. Samuel felt sick. Jacquie didn't wait for an answer.

  "God was so shamed by the truth that Lucifer had spread through heaven that he made Lucifer and all his angels leave. They were sent away, never allowed into heaven again. But this was all because god knew that Lucifer was right! So, even though he and his angels were kicked out of heaven, Lucifer won the war in heaven. And do you know what happened to Lucifer after that? Do you know where he is now?"

  Heads shook. Samuel stared with his lips sucked between his teeth.

  "He's right here with us now. And do you know why? Because god is still in heaven, and god still expects us to do the same thing those angels did ... praise him over and over and over again, with no thanks, never thinking of ourselves. Do you know what a tyrant is? A tyrant is a
n evil leader who thinks only of himself and doesn't care if the people he is leading are hurt or sick or in any pain ... as long as they follow him. That's what god is. A tyrant. And Lucifer knows it. That's why he's here with us, even though we can't see him. He wants us to know that we deserve attention and thanks, that we should be proud of ourselves. He wants us to know that he is on our side! He even fought a war for us! And he won! But before he was made to leave heaven, god gave him another name ... the name we know him by now, today. That name is Satan. But that's only the name god gave him, so — "

  Suddenly, without even realizing he was doing it, Samuel shouted, "But Satan's a liar! He's evil! He's the devil! He blurted all of it out in a rush and halfway through a rush of movement began behind him, heavy muffled footsteps approaching rapidly.

  Samuel felt big hands hook beneath his arms and lift him into the air. His legs dangled as he was pulled farther and farther away from the group of children.

  "I'm very sorry, boys and girls," Jacquie said as Samuel was pulled away, "but that's what happens when you don't listen to the stories and participate. Do you understand? Because it's very important that ...”

  But, by then, Samuel was out of the room ...

  2

  First, he was beaten in the elevator by two black-masked men. Then he was taken back to his room, thrown through the doorway, and as he tumbled over the floor, the door was slammed shut.

  Samuel lay still for a long while. The red lamp was on, filling the room with blood-light. And ... someone else was there. He couldn't see anyone else because his face was pressed to the floor. But somehow he knew — felt — that someone else was in the room with him.

  He felt like crying. He wanted to cry, hoping to release the burning feeling in his stomach and chest. But he couldn't. He didn't seem to have any tears left. He'd cried too much since he'd arrived and now the tears were all gone. So, for a while, he simply lay there, still and frightened.

  Once again, Samuel prayed that he would see that nice lady again soon, the one he'd seen before, at a time that seemed so long ago ...