Fine By Me: Chaos Novella (A Songbird Novel)

by Melissa Pearl

  My bag was packed and I’d moved on to my toiletries. It was hard to know how much to take. Ever since getting to LA, I’d been accumulating things as I could afford them. It seemed like a sin to just walk out on it all.

  But all this stuff would be worthless if he found me.

  Sniffing at my tears, I tried to dodge the sound of Jace’s breathy “What?” as I swiftly broke up with him.

  A steak knife had lodged itself in my heart, and I had a feeling it would be stuck there for a very long time. Maybe even forever.

  “Jace,” I whimpered, sucking in a raggedy breath as I mourned the loss of him.

  Slashing the tears off my cheeks, I shoved my makeup into my bag and tried to zip it closed. The teeth jammed and half my beauty products fell onto the floor.

  “Aw, come on!” I whined, dropping to my knees and scrambling to retrieve a lipstick tube that was rolling under my bed.

  More tears assaulted me, making my task close to impossible.

  Snot was dribbling from my nose and I paused to snatch a tissue out of the box.

  Fear and sadness were weighing me down, interjected with moments of blind panic that made me shoot to my feet and forget about my stupid makeup.

  Leaving the broken zipper, I shoved the open makeup bag into my pack and scanned the room for anything more.

  Shaking my head, I walked into the kitchen and began taking stock of my belongings. I probably didn’t need anything, except maybe—

  “Jenna!”

  I spun at the sound of my name, spotting Jace through the net curtains covering my front windows.

  He could obviously see my outline in the kitchen, so there was no running and hiding in my room.

  His knock on the door was slow and deliberate.

  Did I let him in?

  Part of me wanted to shout, “Go away!”

  But my heart just wouldn’t let me.

  Shuffling to the door, I pressed my forehead against it. “What do you want, Jace?”

  He huffed. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on. Those photos obviously freaked you out, but please, talk to me. You don’t want to break up with me.”

  “Yes, I do.” Tears fell free as I closed my eyes and pushed them over my lashes.

  “No. You love me…and I love you.” His husky voice through the wood made my insides cave.

  Before I could stop myself, I spun the locks and pulled the door open.

  His pained, curious gaze was the first thing I saw, but then the expression morphed to one of concerned sadness.

  He stepped inside and gently shut the door before cupping my cheeks and silently brushing my tears away with his thumbs.

  “What’s going on?” His kind eyes searched my face.

  I shook my head, looking away from him as I choked out, “I have to go.”

  “Go where?”

  “I don’t know.” I sniffed. “I just can’t stay here anymore.”

  “Why? Because of the photos?” Jace let me go, stepping back with a confused frown. “I don’t understand.”

  “There’s a lot you don’t understand,” I murmured, walking back to my room.

  He followed me. I figured letting him see the bag on my bed was the easiest way to drive my resolve home.

  Jerking to a stop in my doorway, he gazed down at my haphazard packing and gaped at me.

  “You’re seriously leaving?”

  “I have to.” I brushed a curl off my cheek.

  “Because of one article.” He was incredulous, trying to work out where I was coming from. I’d never seen his beautiful face so contorted before.

  His confusion tore at my heart. How could I do it to him? Leave him so blind and clueless?

  Sucking in a breath, I crossed my arms and admitted what I could. “That article has the potential to destroy my life.”

  “How?”

  “I can’t!” I closed my eyes and sobbed out the words. “Jace, please, just let me leave.”

  He didn’t say anything, so I opened my eyes to look at him. His expression was painful. He looked like I’d just punched him in the stomach. Closing his eyes, he rested his hand on the doorframe and murmured, “I don’t understand what’s going on. I know I can’t make you stay, and I would never force you to do anything against your will, but…please don’t leave me.”

  Shit, what do I do now?

  His voice was so sweet, so tender. My leaving was going to hurt him, and the thought of doing that nearly killed me.

  But…how did I tell him?

  I pressed the back of my hand against my mouth and tried to hold back my sob. “I’m sorry.”

  Jace’s expression crumpled as he took a step toward me.

  I held up my hand and moved back.

  I may as well have kicked him in the balls. His shoulders slumped with a dejected sigh, his hair flopping forward. “Jenna, please. Don’t do this.”

  My heart squeezed into a tiny painful ball. Pulling in a ragged breath, I licked the side of my quivering mouth and uttered the truth before thought could stop me.

  “My name’s not Jenna.”

  20

  Jace

  The short explanation tripped me up.

  I blinked at her, my face bunching with confusion as she let out a whimpering sob and plunked onto the edge of her bed.

  I wasn’t quite sure how to play it. My mind was reeling and all I could whisper was “So, what is your name, then?”

  She shook her head and covered her face with her hands.

  Raking a hand through my hair, I tried to figure out the right thing to say.

  But then she started speaking. “I’m from the East Coast. I grew up in Trenton, New Jersey.” She glanced at me, her big watery eyes deep pools of sadness. “We had a home there. It was just the four us: me, my parents and my identical twin sister.”

  I had no idea why she emphasized the word identical. My curiosity was piqued, desperate to somehow clear up the confusion buzzing in my brain.

  Inching into the room, I kept my distance, not wanting to silence her with a wrong move.

  “After my parents died, my sister left. Neither of us was handling their deaths very well and we didn’t know what to do. So she took off to go find herself and I…I fell into this really toxic relationship.” Her expression buckled as fresh tears brewed on her lashes. “I just wanted someone to look after me, and he was nice at first.”

  My insides surged with warning.

  Gritting my teeth, I didn’t say anything as she confirmed my fears.

  “He beat me.” She sniffed, a tear escaping and trailing down her cheek as she stared at the floor, her expression desolate, her brown eyes large with fear. “He threatened to kill me, and I didn’t know how to escape.”

  The lump in my throat was so huge I couldn’t speak. Instead, I crouched in front of her so she could look into my eyes and hopefully see that she didn’t have to worry anymore. I’d never touch her that way. I’d never let anyone hurt her.

  The thought of anyone punching or scaring her made me sick.

  But then her story just got worse.

  “My sister came back from her months of radio silence only to find me a very different person. She tried to help me, tried to get me out, but I was too scared to leave, until one night we made an escape.” She sucked in a sob, her chest heaving as she fought to continue. “He chased us and then there was an accident. I don’t know how it happened, but she wasn’t going to make it, so she told me to take her ID…to take her life. Seth didn’t know I had a sister and he thought…” She dipped her head and started bawling. “He thought I was dead, so I became Jenna! And she’s dead and he thinks I’m dead, but I’m not, I’m just pretending to be her so he can’t find me.”

  It was all so shocking, nearly impossible to take in.

  But as this woman I loved sobbed in front of me, all I could do was cup the back of her head and lean my forehead against hers.

  It was a struggle to speak, but I finally managed in a husky voice. “
I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

  “If he sees that photo, he’s going to know I’m still alive. He’s going to find me.”

  Leaning back, I held her head in my hands and made sure she was looking at me. “I’m not going to let him touch you.” My voice was deep with conviction and this righteous kind of anger that burned deep.

  If I ever saw that guy…

  “He can’t find me.” She pulled away, shaking me off. “I have to go. I have to leave LA.”

  “No.” I stood with her, capturing her hand before she could turn away from me. “Please, just stay. Let me protect you.”

  “You can’t!” She wrenched her hand out of mine. “You don’t know him. You don’t know what he’s like.” Her brown eyes drank me in, her expression buckling as she skimmed her fingers down my cheek. “I’d never forgive myself if he hurt you.”

  “I’m not letting you leave.” I snatched her hand again and pressed it against my heart.

  Her eyes brimmed with tears. “You said you’d never force me to do anything against my will.”

  “I know.” My voice shook, desperation making it barely audible. “And I won’t, but I just need you to hear me.” Stepping into her space, I carefully wrapped my arms around her, pulling her against me until she was nestled in tight. “Let me keep you safe. I’ll give you my bodyguard, keep you tucked away in the Chaos mansion. I’ll—”

  “You can’t do that, Jace.” She tried to pull away from me, but I held on tight.

  “You’re safer with me than you are on your own. Please let me in. Let me help you.”

  She struggled against me. “Let me go!”

  I released her immediately and she stumbled back. I steadied her with my arm, then reluctantly moved to the corner of the room.

  There was no one blocking the doorway. She had a free path to escape.

  And as much as I didn’t want to, I’d stay put if she really wanted to leave me.

  She glanced over her shoulder, eyeing her route to freedom before turning back to gaze at me. She was torn, I could see it in her eyes. Fear and desire were at war with each other, and I just couldn’t stay silent and let that ugly terror win.

  “Can you honestly say you’ll be better off out there on your own?”

  “No,” she whimpered and shook her head. “But I’m scared. I don’t… I don’t know what to do.”

  I nodded, inching back toward her with slow, careful steps. “Stay with me. Don’t run. Let me…let my family protect you.”

  She choked out a sob, curling her arms around her stomach and bending forward.

  Closing the space between us, I gently ran my hand down her back. “You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

  She stood straight and lurched into my arms, wrapping them around me in a fierce hug.

  I clung just as tightly to her, letting her cry against my chest as I reeled at everything that had just gone down in her crummy little bedroom.

  I still didn’t know her real name, but as I kissed the top of her head and breathed her in, it didn’t matter.

  The only important thing was keeping her safe so we could stay together and she could have the secure life she deserved.

  21

  Jenna

  Jace’s arms around me decimated my resolve to disappear.

  How could I?

  He was the best thing I’d ever found, and I couldn’t handle the idea of leaving him.

  Even if it probably was for the best.

  But the thought of running off on my own and trying to make it somewhere new was too big. I barely survived my fresh start in LA. If I walked out on Jace, I’d just be throwing away another piece of my heart. If I kept that up, I’d turn into a soulless waif.

  Maybe Seth wouldn’t find me.

  It was just a couple of pictures. Would he even see them?

  But what if one picture turned into many?

  If I was serious about Jace, then I’d have to face up to the limelight eventually, right?

  My body stiffened.

  Jace felt it and started rubbing slow circles over my back.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he murmured, and kissed my curls again.

  “How?” I breathed against his chest. “How can I do this? There’ll be more pictures. You’re famous. You’re…” I pulled away from him. “Dangerous.”

  His expression crumpled like I’d wounded him.

  I apologized by running my hand down his arm and squeezing his wrist. “I know you’ll never intentionally hurt me. But you’re famous. What if I get seen with you again? What if we get photographed together?”

  “You shouldn’t have to hide for the rest of your life.” He frowned and raked his fingers through his hair. It flopped back over his face as he looked to the floor and shook his head. He was about to open his mouth and start talking when his cell phone rang.

  He looked down at his pocket, obviously irritated by the interruption. I asked him with a small eyebrow raise if he was going to take the call but he shook his head.

  Until it rang again.

  And then again.

  It was almost comical. If I’d been a fly on the wall, I probably would have been snickering as I watched this distraught couple waiting out a ringing cell phone. I pressed my lips together while Jace rolled his eyes, clenched his jaw and tried to stubbornly ignore it.

  But eventually he muttered a soft curse and wrenched the phone from his pocket. “What!”

  He grimaced as the caller obviously gave him a piece of his mind.

  With a heavy sigh, Jace dipped his head and mumbled, “I’m sorry. I should have let you know I was heading to Jenna’s. I’m safe. I’m fine. You… Gavin! I’m heading back soon. Just relax.”

  It took another minute of convincing, but finally Jace hung up with his bodyguard and then looked at me. Holding up his phone, he gave me one of his lopsided smiles. “I have a bodyguard. A very dedicated one. Which means you have a very dedicated bodyguard. If that asshole who hurt you tries to get near us, he won’t get far. I will do anything to keep you safe.”

  His words were sweet, but he didn’t know what he was promising.

  “I don’t want you to get hurt,” I whispered, my vision blurring with tears. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

  “No one will.” He sounded so sure. So confident. It was hard not to believe him. “Trust me.” He took my hands, running his thumb over my knuckles. “Just let me shelter you until this blows over. Maybe we can hire a private eye or something, get them to keep tabs on your ex. If he enters LA, we can notify the police. We’ll get a restraining order put out against him. There are things we can do to safeguard you…us. This doesn’t have to become a nightmare.”

  I closed my eyes and the tears that had been building on my lashes spilled down my cheeks. “It was a nightmare for so long.”

  “I won’t let it become one again.”

  He moved back into my space, surrounding me with his body, being the oak tree I needed to lean against.

  I fell against him, my doubt pummeled by the alluring security he offered.

  “Come back to the mansion with me?” he softly requested.

  I didn’t have the energy to refuse him, so I bobbed my head while he hitched my pack onto his shoulder and gently led me to the door.

  My fingers shook as I took the keys and locked up my apartment. I didn’t know when I’d be back. The idea of hiring a private investigator to keep tabs on Seth wasn’t a bad one. Jace would pay for it, I already knew that. Could I accept his money?

  It was too good an offer to refuse.

  Maybe I could stay with him at the highly secured mansion until things blew over, then return to my life.

  Would it ever be the same again?

  Probably not.

  Was that a bad thing?

  I was undecided. The whole ordeal was this crazy cocktail of terror and relief. Seth might find me, but Jace and his family…his bodyguard…would protect me. Maybe I didn’t need to hide. May
be I could have the life Jenna wanted for me.

  Thoughts of leaving my sister’s dead body in that car took me out and my knees buckled. Jace moved fast, catching me against him. His strong arms held me steady while he softly asked, “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded and struggled for air as we shuffled to the stairs.

  “Jenna?” Dorothy’s door popped open as we passed. I flinched and cringed, not knowing what to say or do. That lie about my sister dating Jace was about to be busted wide open.

  Dorothy studied my face, her eyes narrowing when she saw my blotchy cheeks and puffy eyes. Her lips parted as if to ask another question, but then her eyes flicked to Jace and she turned into a mute goldfish.

  “Hi.” Jace smiled at her, extending his hand in greeting. “I’m Jace. Jenna’s…boyfriend.”

  “I thought so,” she breathed, punching out her hand and giving his a firm shake. “I’m, um… Oh wow, is, uh… Are you guys…okay?” She pointed between us.

  I swallowed, my mind scrambling for a good response, but Jace swooped in with another quick rescue.

  “Yeah, Jenna just found out some upsetting news from back home, so I’m stealing her away for the night. Don’t really want her sleeping alone.”

  “Oh my gosh, Jen…”

  She gave me a distraught look but I just shook my head and whispered, “Sorry I lied, I just…” My head shake was feeble. I winced and hoped my expression was apologetic enough. “Can we catch up after the weekend? I owe you an explanation.”

  “Yeah, absolutely.” She nodded, obviously more concerned about me than the fact that I’d lied to her.

  She was a good friend and deserved the whole story.

  “I’ll tell you everything then.” It was a struggle to move my numb lips, but somehow I managed.

  “You just take care.” She reached out and quickly pecked my cheek before giving Jace a dazzling smile. “It was nice to meet you.”

  “I’m sure we’ll meet again soon.” He winked at her, then turned me for the stairs, gently pushing me forward.

  I gave him a grateful smile, unable to find the right words.