His & Hers

by Francheska Fifield

  “Does this friend have a name?”

  “Yes.”

  She doesn’t elaborate and I feel like pulling my hair out. Why is it always like this with her? I am hot and cold. I can’t help it. I want to yell at her, kiss her, and ignore her. None of which makes any sense to me. I think I understand monks secluding themselves now. Living with a woman drives you insane.

  “We just met today while I was out shopping. I think I looked rather lonely and pathetic by myself and we started talking when I was trying on a dress. We are going out Friday.”

  “You are going on a date with someone you just met today?”

  She rolls her eyes and shrugs looking on the verge of laughter. What the hell is so funny about this situation? I have spent all this time waiting for her divorce to be finalized and letting her getting over the emotional trauma of it all to find out she has picked up some guy while shopping?

  “I wouldn’t call it a date. I don’t date girls.”

  She does laugh then and my entire body relaxes. A girl, she made a new friend shopping and is going on a girl’s night. That isn’t so bad.

  “Oh. Well a girl is better I guess.”

  “She said guys would notice us more if I was there. She’s barely over five feet three inches and she’s hoping my height will bring more of them to us.”

  And my blood pressure spikes again. How does any guy do this? I haven’t dated much since I was seventeen, almost a decade. I have been so focused on my business and making my company a success I forgot life was out there. Now I regret it.

  Here is the one girl that I feel connected to and I can’t tell her how I felt because I don’t know how. How do you ask someone out when you aren’t even sure if they want to date? I am her employer, which I thought was genius. Allow her to move in with me and get to know me while getting over her divorce, no pressure. Now it makes the pressure worse!

  “I don’t think picking up strange guys is a good idea. There are some big weirdoes out there.”

  “I’ll be fine. And like I said I’m not bringing anyone back here. I will still clean up Saturday once everyone leaves and makes sure you are fed. I’m not going to shirk my duties.” She thinks I am annoyed she might not clean up after us all? What goes through her mind sometimes?! I swear I would shake her, but it won’t help any. I almost punch the island counter.

  “It’s not about that.”

  “I’m just saying Will. Look you didn’t want to hang out today so I made a new friend. It’s not a big deal. I’m just not the type of person that can sit around and do nothing all the time.”

  I wasn’t ignoring her on purpose. Does she think I enjoy it? Is she tormenting me on purpose for revenge? I take a deep breath and try to stay calm; yelling will accomplish nothing but make her angry again.

  “I wasn’t doing nothing. I was working.”

  “I know. I didn’t say anything about you. I’m just saying I need to be around people. Bobbi is having car problems and you were working. Alice goes to morning yoga, but she works afternoon and evening shifts. I’m finding stuff to fill my time when I’m not writing.”

  Breathe…just breathe. She has a right to do things she wants to do, without me, with other people. She just doesn’t know I worry. She hasn’t exactly come from a state as big or crazy as this one. I am worried, it is natural to be overprotective, but I have to let her choose what to do with her life. And just pray like hell she wants me in it.

  Alice, yeah, that was her yoga friend’s name. Why can’t she go out with Alice? She is a mother of three and doesn’t stay out past 10 pm on her nights off.

  “Just be careful okay.”

  “I will.”

  She puts the pork chops in the oven and grabs her bags off the couch, heading to her room.

  “Dinner should be ready on time. You don’t have to stay out here until then. I will come get you when it’s done.”

  I sit at the island for a few more minutes. I do still have work to do, but well leaving us like that seems so…bad. I get up and head to her room, knocking even though the door is mostly open.

  “What’s up? I promise I’m not going to let dinner burn.”

  Oh for God’s sake I don’t care about that. I don’t know why she thinks I don’t think she can do her work. She is right when she told me she is OCD about cleaning. I have no complaints.

  “I just wanted to say I’m sorry about earlier. It was a really important job. I had a deadline and I almost didn’t make it. I wasn’t trying to ignore you this past week. Or upset you.”

  “It’s fine Will. I myself understand a few things about deadlines.”

  I nod and sit on the foot of her bed. She puts a top in the bureau; it looks unfit for a coat hanger. Must be one of the things she got today. She grabs two dresses and hangs one, a short one, up in her closet. Show interest, it is a good start. Or that’s what Tommy says when I say I haven’t made a move because I don’t know how.

  “Is that what you bought?”

  “That, a pair of pants, a skirt, the halter I couldn’t get on a hanger, a new pair of heels, earrings, and this.” She pulls out a shimmering floor length dress that even I can tell is low cut in the back. It is beautiful. She will look amazing in it.

  “Yeah I know it’s the most unrealistic thing ever. I don’t have anywhere to wear it, but Cindy said to go for it cuz I would one day. I hope so. I was thinking about signing up for dance classes at the Y. Learn to tango and waltz. I always thought it would be fun to learn. If they have a competition at the end maybe I could wear it.”

  “You want to learn ballroom dancing?”

  She smiles and hangs the dress up very carefully. Almost like she is afraid to let the other clothes touch it. It looks expensive and I know she doesn’t splurge on a lot other than books usually.

  “My mom never put me through it as a kid so I’m not scarred for life.”

  “My mom did.”

  She frowns at me as if trying to picture it. She doesn’t know what I looked like as a kid, but I can almost see her trying to picture me in her mind looking the same but smaller. Apparently, it is a difficult concept. For me as well. It had been hellish and I hated it. I don’t understand anyone wanting to learn.

  “It’s hard to picture you doing anything like that even as a kid.”

  I shrug. I hadn’t had a choice. I do now and swore I would never do it again.

  “I never cared for it.”

  “Maybe you would like it more if you liked your partner and were doing it willing. I’ve heard that makes a load of difference. The teacher at the Y said to bring my own partner if I could because dancing with someone you don’t know or trust is unnerving and makes it harder to learn.”

  I shrug. I had certainly hated my partner, or had grown to hate her.

  “Maybe.”

  She sits down and leans against her pillows. If I stay much longer I am likely to tell her she is beautiful and then run off embarrassed.

  “Yeah well if you like the person, I think it would be romantic.”

  “Why?”

  “Oh, just holding them close doing, a special dance just between the two of you. It’s like no one else in the world exists.”

  “You are a romantic at heart at you?”

  I lie down next to her and stare over at her goofy happy grin. When she puts it that way it sounds much better. If she wears that dress her back will be bare and I will feel her bare skin. The thought has me holding back a shudder.

  “Yeah what gave it away?”

  “Probably all those novels you read with all the half-naked men on the cover. I don’t know how men can stand it.”

  Letting their girl’s day dream about other guys…why when you can make them dream about you? Isn’t that the point? She seems to find my response funny because she almost falls off the bed laughing. I think for a second I am going to have to grab her to keep her from hitting the floor.

  “That’s not the point of those books. I have never wanted to be with any of
the lead characters in any of the books I read or write. Besides, if you read my romance novels you would see the guys aren’t like most of the others out there.”

  “What makes them so different?”

  “Well most heroes in romance novels these days are arrogant manly men types that need to be taught about love. They are the ungettable get, that’s what they represent and girls are mostly after the kind of guy that no one else can tame.”

  “Sounds appealing.”

  Why are women always attracted to the type of guy that will pulverize their hearts? Then again men aren’t much better. Most go for looks and are shocked if she is dumb or something. Well, if she uses her looks for everything she doesn’t need to use brains so she never develops one. My ex Marabelle is a prime example of that.

  “Yeah I don’t think so either. Who wants an arrogant ass that always gets his own way and makes you behave a certain way? I read them for one reason only.”

  “Why?” She has a wispy look on her face. Almost dreamy. I haven’t seen that look on her before. She has been anti-male for awhile.

  “Because no matter how manly the guy is they get brought to their knees by that one woman. They fall in love and are like every other guy.”

  “So love conquers all huh? Such a romantic.” For all her tough talk she is a softy inside. Another layer discovered. More to learn.

  She nods and smiles.

  “Yeah that’s me, but hey you gotta believe in something in life or there’s no point. I figure love is a good one to believe in.”

  I try to keep my face neutral so I won’t gush over her. She gives me a curious look so I am pretty sure I am succeeding. If she doesn’t like those types of guys, what does she like?

  “So what are your male leads like?”

  “Generally more introverted, kind, shy, and a bit geeky since I relate to them better so I can write them better. I like normal people. No one can compete with someone superhuman. I want normal people falling in love with other normal people. So people believe it happens. So it’s realistic for girls that need something to hang on to until their Mr. Right comes along.”

  “And geeky guys are your answer to that? Think we are super desperate and need help getting girls?”

  She makes it sound bad. Being a geek. It angers me that she thinks that low of not just me, but all my friends.

  “No. It’s just because I can relate to them better. I know more geeks than anything and though I’ve never had one fall in love with me or fallen in love with them I guess they are closer to my ideal guy type than any other type of guy. Besides, I think geeks have the potential to be more romantic. If they get the love of their life they are less likely to mess it up as a guy used to getting his way and always being the boss.”

  That isn’t as bad. She doesn’t sound like she has much experience with guys in general let alone geeks whom she apparently wants to end up with next. Yay me.

  “So your ex wasn’t a geek?”

  “Sort of I guess, but not really human. I think I prefer someone human.”

  “Most people would.”

  “Yeah. So how about you? What’s your ideal girl type?”

  It shocks me she asks. Maybe I’m not entirely wasting my time. If I say her will it scare her off topic?

  “I don’t think I want a type. My parents had me date the arm candy nit wit for brains type. All I know is I don’t want that.”

  “Eye candy is beautiful. That’s the point.”

  I shrug and look at the ceiling. Honesty without being too honest. It is always a tough call.

  “There are different types of beauty. I didn’t think of her as attractive simply because I didn’t really see her as human. How could I? She was brainless, high maintenance, and possessive. Not really a big catch. Personality makes someone more beautiful than looks. Looks fade but personality just gets bigger and bigger.”

  “I suppose that is true. And not a common look on relationships for either gender to have. I guess we all try to fit into some mold.”

  “You don’t.” That’s what I like most about her. She doesn’t fit into any mold. She creates her own and is the only one in it. She has friends all over and everyone one of them likes different things and she is interested in the same things as all of them. She has so many interests and hobbies I have a physical list to add to every time I find another one. Something more to research. Something more to learn. If nothing else liking her is broadening my view of the world.

  “I can’t find a type to fit into. Is there a type for everything?”

  “Maybe you are just your own person. I think it’s a good thing.”

  “Thanks. I don’t think it will help me get a guy though.”

  I turn to face her before replying.

  “I think it’ll be what finds you the right guy.”

  She looks me in the eye. She seems nervous. I want to kiss her. Does it show on my face? Is that why she is nervous? Does she want me to or not?

  A beep sounds and she jumps quickly and rolls off the bed. I quickly roll too her side and look down.

  “Are you alright?”

  I almost laugh at the grumpy look on her face. That and if I don’t laugh I’ll cry. I finally get the courage to make a move and I'm thwarted by a damn alarm.

  “I’m fine. Damn oven alarm scared the crap out of me though.”

  She heads out to the kitchen and I bang my face into her pillows before getting up and following her. Damn we’d been bonding and doing so well. We were talking and I had decided to kiss her.

  She pulls everything out of the oven poking it. Damn her timely cooking. I wouldn’t have minded dinner burning this one time, or every time if I had gotten to kiss her.

  “Dinner is served once I finish set up.”

  I watch her set everything up, grabbing condiments and cutting the potatoes in half.

  “What do you want for a drink?”

  “I can get it Trisha.”

  “I’m right here grabbing my water.”

  She pours herself water from the fridge; she hates warm water and has complained about it until she comes back from her a grocery shopping trip with a water purifying jug that went in the fridge.

  “You?”

  She looks over waiting for me to ask for the water. I can see it. I shrug this is one thing we will never agree on.

  “Coke.”

  She put away the empty glass and grabs me a can. I dashed her hopes.

  “I will break you of this unhealthy habit eventually.”

  Yeah right. It is something I refuse to give on. I need the caffeine and sugar rush soda offers. I laugh at her and shake my head. She wishes.

  “I gave in to three meals a day outside my office for the most part and evening walks with you. As well as the occasional eating on the porch because I don’t get enough sun. Which you call picnics for some reason.”

  “In the summer we are going swimming too. You do know how don’t you?”

  “Yes.” I told her before I think.

  “Good because I am horrible at it.”

  Oh great I can see it now, we will go and she will get a cramp and I’d have to save her and give her mouth to mouth…wrong thought process for the type bonding I am trying to accomplish right now.

  “Then why go? Don’t you run the risk of drowning or being stung by a jelly fish or eaten by a shark?”

  She give me her ‘I know your being a smart ass’ look. It is a very sexy, sassy look. I don't mind getting that one.

  “Yes, but not knowing what will happen is half the fun.”

  “What’s the other half?”

  “Being a part of something so large it takes up more than half of our planet. The ocean has more in it than land. More creatures, more life, more everything. Being in it is like being a part of it, even if only for a little while.”

  She really is the oddest person on the planet. Another thing to add to the list of things I can never fully understand, but like about her. She is so…well there isn’t even
a word for it. Positive, optimistic, hopelessly romantic, insanely caring, kind, smart, funny, and sexy as hell don’t really even begin to cover it.

  She awes me. That is it. I have never been awed before. She is eating like nothing she said is out of the ordinary, but there is nothing ordinary about anything she ever says or does.

  “You are very different from anyone I have ever met.”

  “Thanks, I think.”

  “It is a compliment. You are so…well; I don’t know the word for it. You look at the world very differently from anyone I’ve ever met. It is…refreshing.”

  It is in a weird way. It is nice to see the world from the point of view of someone that still has hope for it.

  “That is definitely a compliment. Thank you. If it makes you feel better I think you have good qualities too.”

  My blank face slips as I feel the blush creeping up my face. Why can’t I take a compliment from her without blushing? How does she not know how I feel about her when every time she says something nice I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from professing my feelings? And I don’t always succeed. I compliment her all the time on everything. Tommy says I am obsessed. He has been calling it obsessed and I still say intrigued.

  “Yeah you have a great work ethic. I mean crazy insane work ethic. And you are super smart so your kids have a good chance of being at least average or better. Looks good for retirement purposes.”

  “I would like to think you are joking with me, but I somehow think you are being serious.”

  “Half and half really.”

  I can only shake my head at her. She has the oddest way of looking at things.

  “You are also really kind, extremely helpful and fun. When you aren’t working that is.”

  I almost laugh because I know she has to be joking. She seems annoyed with me most of the time.

  “I don’t think you always think that.”

  She shrugs and puts things away, but her voice takes on a more serious tone, one I rarely hear from her.

  “So we argue sometimes. Everyone does sometimes Will. No two people can ever always get along. It’s not natural. It just means you are burying the problem and ignoring problems makes them get bigger and harder to control later. Trust me I know.