Starting from Scratch

by Kate Lloyd

  Ruth grinned. “Bring the ice cream home, and the pickles will be waiting. I mustn’t act prideful, but I doubt you’ll taste better anywhere in the county.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Miller.”

  “You know we go by first names around here. Call me Ruth, dear.” She slid her arm around the young woman’s shoulders.

  I was struck by the fact Brandy fit into this household better than I did. As if I were shrinking. I paused at Amos’s bed out of courtesy and patted his hand. “Goodbye, Amos.” I still wasn’t sure he knew who I was.

  “Goodbye, Eva,” he murmured, much to my astonishment. “Come back soon. Yah?”

  “Of course she will,” Ruth said with enthusiasm. “In the meantime, you’ll get better. We’ll get you on your feet.”

  Amos’s body seemed nearly lifeless, as if his brain had forgotten how to direct his limbs. From what Olivia told me and the article I’d read, I knew he might have to relearn how to walk—how to do everything.

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  When Jake opened the car’s door, Brandy leaped in and sat in the center of the bench seat. I guessed I’d been so distracted I hadn’t noticed the litter on the floor and the saccharine odor from an air-freshener dangling from the rearview mirror.

  I scooted in next to Brandy and closed my door.

  “I’m low on gas.” Jake slammed his door. “I think there’s a little twenty-four-hour store next to the gas station down on Route 30.”

  “Oh, I can hardly wait.” Brandy wrapped her arms around her tummy. “Turn the heater up, Jakie, I’m freezing.”

  “Then why didn’t you wear a jacket?”

  His question inspired a giggle. “I was so excited about the ice cream I clean forgot. None of them fit anymore anyway.”

  “Seems like you act before thinking.” Jake released the parking brake.

  “I could say the same thing for you, Jake,” barged out of her mouth.

  “Can’t argue with you there.” Jake turned a knob on the dashboard. “This should warm us up.”

  As we drove out onto the road, I was happy to feel heat on my feet. Brandy and Jake chatted like siblings. But I couldn’t help but wonder if they’d been intimately acquainted at one time. I finally scrounged up the courage to ask, “How do you two know each other?”

  “Through my big brother.” Brandy rotated her head to speak. “This is his car, but he got another DWI and lost his driver’s license for six months. But he still won’t let me use it. I can drive as well as Jake.”

  Jake chuckled. “If you say so. But you don’t have a driver’s license.”

  “You do?” I asked Jake, who nodded.

  “I can still drive as well as you,” Brandy said.

  “But you can barely see over the steering wheel.” Jake snorted a laugh.

  She gave his shoulder a playful punch as a younger sister might. Still, I didn’t completely buy the whole scenario.

  “How old are you, Brandy?” My words sounded snarly.

  The car fell silent for a moment except for the grumbling muffler and the sound of a truck passing in the opposite direction. “Brandy, how old are you?” I asked again, trying to sound less accusative.

  “Seventeen. By the time the baby’s born in two months, I’ll be eighteen. Nice and legal.”

  “Ach, so young.” I shouldn’t pass judgment, as I’d loved Jake since age sixteen and had had a crush on him from afar for years earlier. Thankfully, he had not pressured me with his amorous actions. Maybe Brandy’s boyfriend had forced himself on her.

  Minutes later, Jake pulled into a gas station and stood outside pumping fuel into the tank. Because I had nothing to lose by being nosy, I pursued my questions. “Brandy, who’s your baby’s father?”

  “A friend of one of my brothers.” She inched away from me.

  “Does he know you’re pregnant?” It felt odd speaking of such personal matters, especially with someone I hardly knew.

  “Yeah, but the only thing he offered me was money for an abortion. Nice guy, huh? And he said he’ll deny the whole thing.”

  “They have DNA tests now.” I’d read about it. “How old is he?”

  “Twenty-five, not that I should believe anything he says. He’s a rat.”

  Jake climbed back into the car carrying a brown paper bag. “Here’s the ice cream.”

  Brandy clapped. “Goody. I can hardly wait.” She grabbed the bag from him and peeked inside. “Three kinds? What did you get?”

  “Strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate-chip cookie dough.”

  She leaned over and smooched his cheek. “You know my favorites, you sweetie pie.”

  I wondered if he still recalled my favorite. Apparently not.

  “They were sold out of caramel swirl, Evie,” he said, proving me wrong. He leaned forward to catch my gaze. “Well, did you think I’d forget your favorite ice cream? Or that you like half-and-half in your coffee?”

  “Jake has the best memory of anyone I know.” Brandy’s voice rose in pitch.

  “As I recall, he had a good memory in school.”

  “Jake’s so smart, he got his GED in the blink of an eye.” She snapped her fingers.

  “Really, Jake?” I looked past her. “You got a GED?”

  “Yah. I thought, why not?” He eased up on the gas. “Actually, I made a bet with Brandy’s brother. He said he was smarter than I was because he’d gone through high school and all I had was eight grades.”

  “You showed him, didn’t you?” Brandy slapped her knee. “Jake, please, please, please won’t you just take me back to your parents’ so this ice cream doesn’t melt? I can’t stand to wait another minute. I should have brought a spoon.”

  He chuckled. “Okay. If Evie doesn’t mind.”

  “I guess not, if it’ll only add a few minutes. But then I really do need to get back.”

  Brandy turned on the radio, and a raucous song I’d never heard before blasted out. Both she and Jake swayed to the heavy metal music and sang along.

  “Turn that off.” I felt myself being sucked into an evil domain, rubbing elbows with Satan.

  Jake complied even with Brandy’s moaning, “Hey, that’s my favorite song. Party pooper.”

  He pulled a U-turn, causing an oncoming buggy to slow. The driver lifted a hand in a friendly gesture. I hoped he recognized Jake and not me. An Amish woman wearing a kapp in an automobile would be hard to ignore.

  Minutes later, Jake cruised into his parents’ barnyard. He came to an abrupt stop, opened his door, and got out. Brandy exited the car and scampered up the Millers’ back steps, clutching the brown bag. She opened the unlocked door and bopped inside. Jake slid back onto the seat.

  He was quiet for a moment. “Why don’t we join her? Doesn’t ice cream sound gut?”

  “I don’t have time. You promised to get me home right away.”

  “But maybe my dat will try some if you give it to him.”

  “Your mamm and Brandy can manage. Please don’t pressure me.” Although the image of Amos tasting the ice cream filled me with affection for the crusty older man. “Maybe he’ll regain his strength.”

  “Or possibly slip deeper into his cocoon.” Jake put the car in reverse. “Despite Mamm’s optimism, I doubt he’ll ever get better.” He rolled the car out of the barnyard. “Which makes me the worst son in the world for leaving him, yah? Maybe if I’d been here…”

  “I feel terrible for your parents, but what about me? I thought we had something special.” To put it mildly. “You abandoned all of us.”

  “Back then I thought you’d deserted me too.” He gripped the wheel. “I wasn’t thinking straight, only of myself.”

  Jake nosed the automobile back onto the road. Riding with him in the car felt all wrong. An Englischer and an Old Order Amish woman in a car together was like a dog and a cat sharing a food bowl. I was glad the streetlights were few and far between. Each seemed like a spotlight, especially when we passed a buggy. Jake proceeded past them as if he were meant to drive a mo
torized vehicle.

  “Is this only a temporary stay?” I was afraid to hear his answer. “Or are you planning to live with your parents and join the church?”

  “I haven’t gotten that far. I’ll probably stay at least long enough to find out if Dat makes it. He could croak, you know.”

  “What a horrible thing to say.”

  “Well, it’s the truth.”

  “Says who?”

  “The neurologist at the trauma center. He warned Mamm not to bring him home. But Mamm just crossed her arms and said, ‘If he’s going to die, I want him at the farm with me.’ ” Jake tapped the steering wheel as if replaying the rock song in his mind. “Even if he lives, he’ll never be able to work again. Not like he did before.”

  “Meaning you’ll stay?”

  “Yah. If he can’t work the farm, what would happen to Mamm? She can’t keep the farm going or even do her chores if she’s tending to his needs. Maybe Brandy will stay and help her for room and board.”

  I wondered if he and Brandy had already agreed upon a scheme.

  “With a boppli, Brandy will need help herself.”

  “Let’s leave Brandy out of this discussion, Evie. You’d be my real motivation for staying. If you’d take me for your husband over all your other suitors.” He pulled off to the side and rolled to a stop. “But you don’t seem to care for me anymore.”

  I still adored Jake with all my heart. But trusting him was another subject. He’d believed all the gossip about me. And now he’d just proposed and then retracted the invitation? Despite his many attributes, he was as unstable as ever.

  He turned toward me and said, “If you won’t wed me, I might marry Brandy to give her child a father. No child should grow up without one.”

  “What? You’d marry a woman you don’t even love?” A searing pain stretched from my throat to my stomach.

  “Well, you won’t marry me, will you?” he said, his voice turning acidic.

  “How could I marry an Englischer, Jake? You’re not even Amish anymore.”

  “And you are? If you ask me, you’ve used me as an excuse to not join the church.”

  “How dare you? You think I’d forsake Gott for you?”

  As we neared the nursery, the sky turned dark. We passed a buggy coming from the other direction. Mark was driving and had a young lady nestled at his side. Was it Olivia?” It was hard to tell in Jake’s headlamps. No, it was her younger sister, Emma, almost Olivia’s spitting image. She was giggling and clinging to Mark’s arm. His gaze zeroed in on me, and his jaw dropped. His arms straightened, and his torso lifted from his seat, but he offered no salutation. He’d gone to the singing after all and found himself a date. Not necessarily a date, but a girl to escort home. He wasn’t moping over me. Which was good.

  Maybe Mark would keep what he saw to himself. But Emma would tell Olivia, and then the whole county would hear about me. Again.

  Wait. Olivia said she was leaving with her boyfriend last night. Why was Emma at a singing if her sister ran off? Didn’t she care? Or maybe Olivia changed her mind. I didn’t know how to find out without risking getting her into more trouble.

  “Better drop me off somewhere,” I told Jake as we closed in on the nursery.

  “Nee, I can’t leave you alone.”

  I recalled Ralph and decided I did want an escort after all. The man could be prowling around and harbor a grudge against me.

  “Jake, maybe you could park in that used car lot and walk with me the rest of the way. It looks closed.” The interior lights of the brick one-story building had been dimmed, leaving only a few exterior lamps.

  He slapped the turn indicator. “Okay. This clunker will fit right in.”

  “When I saw you driving Brandy the other day, you looked in your element,” I said.

  He shot me a look of skepticism. “You mean because I was using the buggy? No sooner did we get here than she started pestering me to give her a ride in ours.”

  “And how did it feel driving the horse?”

  “What are you getting at?”

  “Could you ever live without a car again?”

  “I doubt it. But I’ll need to return this one to Jeff and then take the bus or train back—if I return. Or buy another. I was earning good money up there. And I’ve been saving it. When I go, you should come with me. We could take a side trip to Niagara Falls.”

  “Or Florida?”

  “Isn’t that the wrong direction?”

  “Yah, but really, if you could go anywhere, where would you pick?” I knew we were playing in the Land of Make-Believe, as we had as teens. “I’d choose Italy.” I could hardly believe what I’d declared. “I’m reading a novel Beatrice lent me.”

  He chuckled. “That’s more than a bit out of the way.”

  “Then how about the Grand Canyon?”

  “It’s out of the way too, but maybe someday we could go there. You never know.” He shot me a fleeting glance. “You could help me drive.”

  I guffawed. “I don’t have a clue how to drive a car, and you know it.”

  “Well, then, let’s change that right now.” Jake came to a halt in the far end of the car lot, next to a squat building with a sign that said Auto Parts. All customers and staff had left hours ago, I assured myself.

  He swiveled in his seat to speak to me. “Have you never driven a car? Not even once?”

  “Nee. Never.”

  “Not even in your running-around time?”

  Technically, I still was in rumspringa because I hadn’t yet committed to a lifetime as a church member. “I’m not capable of driving an automobile.”

  “I bet you’re more capable than you know. Why don’t you give it a try?” His voice was tinged with amusement. Or maybe he was teasing all in fun. In any case, I’d ignore him.

  “I might.” I angled my head toward him and raised an eyebrow. “Sometime. When I’m gut and ready. Not when you’re badgering me.”

  “Come on, Evie. Seize the moment.” He opened his door and got out. “Sit here.” He beckoned me to slide behind the steering wheel.

  Like a ninny I obeyed. “I shouldn’t.” I scanned around to see if anyone was watching.

  He chortled. “This may be your last chance if you’re serious about getting baptized.” He was taunting me. “Come on, don’t be a scaredy-cat. There’s nothing to it. You can drive a buggy, can’t you?”

  “But our mare understands what I tell her. And she obeys.”

  “Same with this car. More people die in horse-related accidents than in cars.”

  “I don’t believe that for a minute. Who told you such a ridiculous thing?”

  “An Englisch friend looked it up on the Internet on his iPhone.”

  “And you believe everything you hear?”

  “At least I’m willing to take a risk, unlike you.”

  My fingers rose to touch the steering wheel. It was wrapped with leather and felt secure in my hands. I knew I was doing wrong, but being alone with Jake in the first place was wrong.

  In a burst of bravado, I was ready to spread my wings. To prove myself mistaken. Maybe I was my own worst enemy. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  I reached down and turned the key. A screeching metallic sound erupted.

  “Whoa, slow down. The engine’s already running.” Jake closed my door, jogged around the car, and jumped into the passenger seat. “Do you know where the gas pedal and brakes are?”

  “Yah, I’ve watched you.”

  “The car’s in park, so…” The headlamps shone against a brick wall into the empty store.

  “I know.” I was pleased I could release the parking brake and maneuver the transmission into reverse easily. Maybe driving wasn’t so difficult after all.

  I pressed my foot on the gas pedal. The car rocketed backward into something large and metal. We stopped short, my head bobbing forward. “Ach. I’m afraid to look.”

  Jake gawked over his shoulder. “You had the car in reverse.”
/>   “Yah, I couldn’t go forward, now could I?”

  “But you didn’t check over your shoulder to see if anything was behind us.”

  “What could possibly be behind us?” My head whipped around to see uniformed Wayne, his scowl illuminated in the car lot’s overhead lights, inspecting the damage I’d done to his squad car.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  Okay, both of you. Get out.” Wayne wrenched open my door. “Not even wearing a seat belt, young lady?”

  My hand moved to my waist. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t think to.”

  “Looks like you weren’t thinking of much.” As I clambered to my feet, he said, “I won’t even ask to see your driver’s license, Eva Lapp. That’s your name, isn’t it?” He was all business, his features bunched as he looked across the hood at Jake. “How about you, Jake? I don’t suppose you have a driver’s license.”

  “Yes, I do, as a matter of fact.” He pulled out his wallet and extracted his license. “I was driving tonight—for the most part—not Evie. And this is private property, not a public road.”

  “Yeah, but not your property, right?” Wayne scanned his dented squad car and grimaced. “How am I going to explain this to my sergeant?”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a white pickup ease into the lot, and then noticed Stephen. Scowling, he paused for a moment before getting out and heading over to Wayne without glancing my way.

  “What brings you out this time of night?” Wayne asked him.

  “I’m on my way to the nursery.” Stephen’s features were stamped with disapproval. “I called Beatrice to make sure the dogs were in, and now I’m going to spend the night in the café in case Ralph comes back. We can’t be sure how many keys he had made, and we can’t get the locks changed until tomorrow morning.”

  Stephen finally looked me in the face for a moment, shook his head, and then turned away.

  I shivered as the evening breeze picked up velocity.

  “I was doing the driving.” Jake stepped between Wayne and me.

  “Listen, don’t try to feed me any garbage. I know what I saw.” Wayne looked me up and down. “That’s the last time I’ll park behind an Amish woman driving a car. It all happened before I could get out of her way.” He surveyed the dent again. “I suppose it could be worse. But I’ll be the laughingstock at the station.”