Far from Perfect (Perfect, Indiana: Book One)

by Longley, Barbara

  “Today?” As in I might get lucky again tonight? He grinned so hard his cheek muscles hurt. “nd her. Noah a

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  THIS RANKED UP THERE AS one of the worst mornings of her life. Everything had happened in such a big hurry. Jenny’s biopsy, followed by the call the next day, and their appointment today. Ceejay gripped the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles stood out in stark relief. At least it kept them from shaking like they had when they’d met with the surgeon and the oncologist. “They caught it early, Jenny. That’s good.”

  Her aunt nodded, but her mouth formed a straight, tight line against her abnormally pale skin. The past two days had been a surreal blur. Reality hadn’t completely sunk in until they’d sat across from the surgeon forcing her aunt to make a decision. Radical mastectomy or a lumpectomy, and might she consider a double mastectomy as a cautionary measure against developing a tumor in the other breast? God, what a question!

  Everything had been so clinical, so professional. Cold.

  Nothing about Jenny was cold, dammit.

  Ceejay couldn’t get enough breath into her lungs, and she bit her lip hard to force herself to concentrate on driving home safely. She was almost grateful that she had to work later. Having something to do would keep her sane. “Do you want me to ask Noah to watch Lucinda tonight?”

  “No, of course not. I want to do it. I need to...to...”

  Her aunt’s voice faltered, and Ceejay’s heart faltered with it. “OK. I just didn’t want to add to your stress.”

  “Nothing about being with Lucinda is stressful. You know how much I love her.” Tears trickled down her aunt’s cheeks. “I...I’ve always loved you like you were my own daughter, and...and Lucinda is the closest to a grandchild I’ll ever have!”

  “I know.” Ceejay blinked hard and reached a hand out to her aunt. Jenny grabbed for it and held on tight. “We love you too, Jenny. We’re going to get through this. The doctors said your prognosis is good.”

  “They also said they won’t know anything for certain until they have a chance to check my lymph nodes.”

  “They’re optimistic, so we’re going to be optimistic too.” The ever-present bug bodies on the windshield of her ancient car drew her attention. One, two three...no. She had to be strong for Jenny. “It’s not the most aggressive type of cancer. We do know that for sure.”

  “Cancer. I hate that word.”

  “Me too.” Ceejay turned into their driveway, pulled up next to her aunt’s car, and parked. Noah and Lucinda were on the veranda. It looked like they were playing cards. Her throat closed. He’d been so great these past few days. She climbed out of her car and headed for the porch. Sweet Pea lolled over the edge of the top step and stretched out across the floorboards. She gave him a scratch behind his ears on the way up the steps, eliciting a round of tail thumping.

  “Mommy, Uncle Noah taught me how to play Go Fish.” Lucinda held her hand of cards up for her. “See?”

  She sent him a look of gratitude. “Wow, Luce. Looks like you’re winning too.”

  “I am,” Lucinda crowed. “Aunt Jenny, do you wanna play wif us?”

  “I’d love to, honey. Just let me get a glass of sweet tea first. Anybody else want some?”

  “I can get it,” Ceejay headed for the door.

  “No, I want to. You sit.”

  Noah held up his coffee mug. “I’m good, and Lucinda has juice.”

  “I’d love a glass.” Ceejay waited until her aunt was gone, let out a loud breath, and slumped into a chair. She felt as if she hadn’t breathed deeply for days.

  “You all right?” Noah reached across the table for her hand.

  She nodded and twined her fingers with his. “Her surgery is scheduled for Thursday morning. I have to cancel our date.”

  “Not a problem. There will be plenty of movies for us to see in the future.”

  “Thank you.” She swallowed hard. “You’ve been so...I don’t know what I would’ve done without your help these past few days.”

  “What’s surgery, Mommy?”

  What did you tell a four-year-old when it came to cancer? “Aunt Jenny has some bad cells growing inside her, and surgery is what the doctors do to take those bad cells away.”

  “Am I gonna get bad cells growing inside me too?” Lucinda’s expression turned fearful.

  Ceejay ran a hand through her daughter’s curls. “No, of course not.”

  “Come here, sweetheart.” Noah held his arms open, and Lucinda scrambled out of her booster seat and into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her. “You don’t need to worry. You’re a very healthy little girl, and everything is going to be fine.”

  Lucinda snuggled against him and slipped two fingers into her mouth. Ceejay didn’t have the heart to call her on it. If sucking her fingers gave her comfort, so be it. For today, anyway.

  “Will you play Go Fish too?” Lucinda peered at her from her place on Noah’s lap.

  “Sure. Sounds the chair across from her. p c p b like fun.” She gathered up the deck of brightly colored children’s cards and started to shuffle them. “Where’d you get these?”

  “At the drugstore in Perfect.”

  “Oh.” Her insides fluttered. He’d made the drugstore run for condoms. She imagined how quickly that little tidbit would be spread all over town. Wonderful.

  Jenny pushed the screen door open with her hip and placed a glass of tea in front of Ceejay before taking her seat. “I’m ready to kick your butts. Let’s play Go Fish.”

  It almost felt normal, sitting at the wrought-iron table and playing cards like the possibility of her aunt’s cancer being terminal didn’t loom large over everything.

  “So, I hear you’re seeing this Noah fellow now.” Her uncle Joe leaned forward in the uncomfortable hospital waiting room chair. “Is that true, Little Bit?”

  Ceejay sent a glare Ted’s way. He raised his brow and pushed off the wall he’d been holding up to move closer. What would it be like to have a private life that was...private?

  “I’ve been on one date with him.”

  “Has he asked you out for another one, honey?” Aunt Kathy asked.

  Ceejay’s face grew hot, and she surveyed the hospital waiting room filled with Lovejoys. Jenny’s brothers, their wives, a third of her cousins, and her great-aunt Edna. She cringed. “Yes, he asked me out for another date,” she replied loudly enough to satisfy everyone’s curiosity at once. They all relaxed. After all, she hadn’t blown her first date with Noah. Ceejay let out a huff of air and shook her head. What would they think if they knew she’d thrown herself at him the other night? Another wave of heat scorched her cheeks.

  Great-aunt Edna gave her walker a shake. “Ought to bring him to church with you this Sunday.”

  This set off a round of murmuring assent, and Ted laughed. Her other cousins looked up from their texting or magazines to smirk her way. They’d all been in this hot seat a time or two, and she was sure they were relishing the moment.

  “Bring him to Sunday dinner after the service.” Aunt Mary came to sit beside her and gave Ceejay’s knee a pat.

  Ceejay pushed herself back against the fake leather chair. “I don’t even know if he goes to church.”

  “Can’t hurt to ask.” Uncle Jim raised an eyebrow at her, like it was her moral obligation to bring Noah into the flock.

  Floor, open up and swallow me now! She started to reply and stopped when Jenny’s surgeon appeared at the entrance of the waiting room. Everyone went silent, turning as one to study the doctor’s facial expression for clues.

  His brow rose slightly. “All of you are Lovejoys?”

  Rising from her place, Ceejay replied, “Yes, sir. We’re all related. How did the surgery go?”

  “Mrs. Hoffman is being moved to ICU as we speak. The surgery went very well. I believe we got all of it...”

  A collective sigh filled the room.

  “I want to caution you here. Though t and her eyes grew brightste c p bhe surgery w
ent well, we still have to wait for the pathologist’s report.” He reached up and took the surgical cap off his head. “Visitation is strictly controlled in the ICU. No more than two or three people at a time, and the hours are limited due to the intensity of the care provided.” His gaze traveled around the room. “It will be several hours before she’s awake and ready for company. You might want to take advantage of this time. Go home, and get some rest, do whatever you need to do. She’ll be moved to her regular room tomorrow morning. What she needs now is quiet and rest.”

  “I’d like to see her before I leave.” Ceejay stepped forward. “Can you have a nurse come tell me when my aunt is settled?”

  “Will do.” The surgeon nodded and left.

  Her knees went weak, and a round of shoulder patting and hugging started up all around her. No way was she going home before seeing Jenny. Aunt Mary caught her up in a hug, and Ceejay hugged back, tears of relief springing to her eyes.

  “We’ll be back tomorrow, honey. Maybe you should go home and get some rest like the doc said. Come back tomorrow when she’s awake.”

  “I will.” She watched as everyone gathered their things and started their mass exodus. “I’m just going to the cafeteria for coffee, and then I’ll check on her before I go home.”

  “You do that.” Her uncle Jim pulled her in for a bear hug. “Call us if you need anything.”

  “OK.” She followed her family to the elevators. The uncles and aunts took the first, and her cousins piled into the next one with her.

  “Noah is kind of hot.” Her cousin Carrie nudged her with an elbow.

  “He is.” She nodded. And now everyone would be speculating, watching. Her insides knotted. What if she and Noah didn’t last? The thought of all that pity coming at her sent her heart into overdrive. Why couldn’t she have been born into a small, nonintrusive family in a large city? The elevator doors opened. “I’ll see you all soon.” She hurried off to the cafeteria.

  Ceejay returned to the hospital waiting room with a Styrofoam cup of really bad coffee in her hand. She frowned and came to a stop. “Sheriff Maurer?”

  He sat slumped in one of the chairs and stared at the floor with a grim expression. “Hey, Little Bit.” He straightened and started to turn his uniform hat in his hands. “How’d the surgery go?”

  “It went well.” She took the chair beside him and set her coffee on the end table. “We have to wait for the pathologist’s report on her lymph nodes, but her surgeon believes they got it all.”

  An audible sigh shuddered through him. “Thank God.” He rubbed at his eyes, and his lips tightened. “I’ve been in love with your aunt since she was in the third grade.”

  Ceejay blinked, and she didn’t know what to say. He’d been a part of their lives forever, a fixture in the landscape of her childhood, and she’d never suspected. “I...does Jenny know?”

  “No. I couldn’t do that to her.”

  “I don’t understand.” She glanced at him. “Do what to her?”

  He leaned his head back against the wall. “She and I dated some in high school, and her eyes grew brights. c p b even though she was a couple of years behind me. Then she started working at the diner, and it was all over.” He let out a strangled laugh. “Mike worked for his parents back then. I didn’t stand a chance against him. Captain of the football team, good-looking, even worse—he was the genuine article, a good guy.”

  “But what about—”

  “After he died?” He regarded her with his brow lowered. “After my own tour of duty in Nam, I went into law enforcement.”

  “What does going into law enforcement have to do with anything?”

  “Do you have any idea how high the divorce rate is for law enforcement officers? I couldn’t risk it. I didn’t want to put her through any more pain than she’d already been through after losing Mike.”

  Ceejay fought the urge to snort. “I’m sure the divorce rate is high because of the stress involved with the job, but surely it’s much less stressful in rural areas, right? I mean, how much crime is there in Warrick County?”

  “You’d be surprised.” He started turning his hat again. “Used to be a lot simpler than it is today. Now we have meth labs, drug rings, gangs, sex offenders, you name it, we have it.”

  “Sheriff—”

  “You can call me Harlen. I’m not here as the sheriff right now, and I’ve known you since you were this high.” He held his hand out to indicate how tiny she’d been. “You’re like family to me.”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat and rested her hand on his forearm. “Harlen, I’m not the one who needs to hear all this. Tell Jenny how you feel.”

  He slumped forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I don’t know. What if...what if she doesn’t—”

  “Don’t you think she deserves the right to make up her own mind? Give her the choice.”

  “Maybe it’s too late. I should’ve told her decades ago. Each year I didn’t made it easier just to keep things the way they are.” He shook his head. “Now, I don’t know if—”

  A nurse walked into the waiting room and called Ceejay’s name.

  “I’m here.” She rose from the chair.

  “If you’d like, you can sit with your aunt for a little while.” The nurse smiled. “Her doctor told me you’re a nurse.”

  She nodded. “In pediatrics.” Ceejay turned to the sheriff. “Do you want to come with me?”

  He nodded. They followed the nurse down the white concrete and linoleum hallway to the ICU. Jenny was hooked up to monitors, a catheter, and two IV drips. Ceejay had known what to expect, but seeing her like that, her skin so pale and drawn—she had to cover her mouth to keep from crying out. Harlen placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. She froze, surprised by the comforting gesture.

  “Jenny’s going to be fine.” He guided her to the chair beside the hospital bed, made her sit, and then he dragged another one over for himself. He put his elbows on the bed and held Jenny’s hand in both of his with so much reverence, Ceejay almost fell apart.

  “Harlen, promise me you’ll tell her how you feel. If anyone deserves and her eyes grew brightste c p b to be happy, it’s the two of you.”

  She heard the ragged intake of his breath as he brought Jenny’s hand to his mouth and kissed it. He didn’t answer, but kept a tight grip, as if he feared letting go.

  She knew the feeling.

  Thirty minutes later, Sheriff Maurer walked out of the hospital with her into the heat and humidity. A fine sheen of perspiration formed on her brow, and Ceejay picked up her pace. The inside of her old car would be an oven until she got moving. “Will I see you here tomorrow, Sheriff?”

  “Count on it. Do you know when you’ll hear from the pathologist?”

  “No.” The thought of that last hurdle sent a rush of adrenaline through her.

  He stopped. “If I’m not there when you get that report, you call me.”

  “I will.”

  He nodded and veered off toward his patrol car. After all this morning’s tension, she needed to get home and give her daughter a hug. The minute she opened her car door, a wave of sauna-like heat engulfed her. She really needed to buy a new one, a compact with air-conditioning that worked. Any day now that big insurance check would be direct-deposited into her checking account. First order of business would be a new car.

  Once Jenny was home and on the mend, Ceejay would start her search for a house in Indianapolis again. Plus, with her aunt’s surgery behind them, they would all appreciate their upcoming vacation even more.

  Everything would be back on track once they got the all clear from the pathologist.

  The scent of freshly mowed hay poured into the car. She rode the rises and dips on the rural two-lane, taking comfort in the familiar rhythm of the gently rolling hills. The world had that almost ripe late-summer feel to it. It had been this time of year when Matt had walked out of her life. She took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet alfalfa and clover-spiced
air.

  She wouldn’t think about Matt. Just because her life had gone to shit one late July day years ago didn’t mean it would turn to shit again this July.

  Turning onto their gravel driveway, she came head-to-head with a pickup truck heading out. She pulled over into the grass to let the truck by and pasted a smile on her face as she leaned out her window.

  “Hey, Ceejay.” Aunt Jenny’s best friend leaned forward to talk around her husband. “We just stopped by to see if there’s anything you need.” Her warm brown eyes were filled with concern.

  “Thanks, Mrs. Weber. We’re fine for now.” Her throat tightened, and warmth filled her. She’d known the Webers for as long as she could remember. She knew practically everyone who lived in Perfect, and they had all reached out to her and Jenny with calls, offers to babysit, cooking, cleaning—whatever they needed.

  “How’s your aunt?” Floyd rested his elbow on the window frame and poked his head out of the cab of his truck. “How’d the surgery go?”

  “The surgery went really well. Jenny’s resting in the ICU now. They’re going to move her to a regular room tomorrow, so she can have visitors.”

  “Oh, that’s good. We’ll stop by to see her.” Mrs. Weber smiled. “You take care, now, and give that little girl of yours a big hug for us.”

  “I will. Thanks for stopping by.” Ceejay waited for their truck to pass and pulled up alongside Ted’s Mustang. Noah’s truck was there too, but neither of them was working on the house. Maybe they were taking a break, or maybe it was too hot to work outside today. She got out of her car, walked up the veranda steps, and went inside.

  The quiet sent a chill down her spine. Empty. Jenny should be here about this time in the afternoon, unloading her canvas bag of diner leftovers. “Hello,” she shouted. No one answered. Ceejay walked to the kitchen and dropped her keys and purse on the table. Several plastic containers and plates filled the space. Breads, pies, cakes, and cards. A lump formed in her throat again. So many people had come forward to show they cared. Ceejay had never given this part of small-town life much thought. Maybe because she and Jenny were usually among the group bringing meals to neighbors in need, and this was the first time they had been on the receiving end.