Far from Perfect (Perfect, Indiana: Book One)

by Longley, Barbara

  Allison sighed. “I’ve been there. I had a knee-jerk reaction because it brought all those feelings back.” She raked him and his father with a look he knew well from his childhood. She meant business. “Ceejay didn’t tell me to leave. That’s progress.”

  Noah glared at his father. “You’re going to make this right.”

  “I meant what I said.” His dad’s stare clashed with his. “Ms. Lovejoy needs to come to terms with the fact that Lucinda is our granddaughter. If you can talk her into letting us have visitation, I’ll back down. If not, I’ll do what I have to.”

  “We can’t bully our way into their lives, Ed.” Allison shook her head. “Didn’t we just have this conversation?”

  “I think it would be best if you two head home.” Noah sent a pleading look to his stepmother. “I can handle things here, and once I’ve had a chance to talk to Ceejay—”

  “No. I’m not leaving.” Allison lifted her chin. “We don’t even know the extent of Ceejay’s injuries yet. She might not be able to take care of herself, much less her aunt and Lucinda.”

  “It’s my understanding she has a large extended family here in Perfect. The Lovejoys don’t need us, Allie. I have to agree with Noah on this.” His father shot him a determined look. “We aren’t giving up, only stepping back.”

  “It’s not about need. I’m staying because our son loves Ceejay. Noah needs our support. The Lovejoys need our support, and maybe if we try, we can get through to Ceejay.”

  “I doubt she’ll talk to any of us after this.” Noah pulled out his phone and entered the name of the hospital into a search engine for directions. “I’ve got to get to the hospital. I’ll pick Lucinda up on the way home.” He headed down the veranda steps and back to his truck for the umpteenth time that d$ing you. His ay.

  Driving to St. Mary’s gave him time to regain some control. How should he handle the situation with Ceejay? Beg for forgiveness. Noah pulled into the parking lot determined to keep it together. Two visits in one day. Two different hospitals. St. Mary’s was smaller, older. Noah made his way into the lobby, stopping at the front desk for directions. He headed down a narrow corridor toward the emergency room, turned a corner, and pulled up short. “Sheriff.”

  Sheriff Maurer hooked his thumbs into his belt. “They just took Ceejay upstairs to surgery. She’s not in the ER anymore.”

  “How...how is she?”

  “Both her wrists are broken. Her left is in bad shape. That’s why they’re doing surgery.” He gestured for Noah to walk with him down the hall. “She also has a fractured clavicle, a couple of cracked ribs, and a concussion.”

  Noah wanted to lean against the wall—maybe pound his head against the cinder blocks a few times. Instead, he kept pace with the sheriff and tried to get enough oxygen in his lungs to stay upright. Here he was, right back in the hospital’s small lobby and entrance without even a glimpse of Ceejay.

  “Sit.” Sheriff Maurer pointed to a chrome and leather chair. “You look like you’re about to drop.”

  Noah lowered himself into the seat. The sheriff loomed in front of him.

  “You seem to have a knack for upsetting Ceejay.”

  “I—

  “First, you lied to her about who you are. Then you sprang Matt’s mother on her without so much as a by-your-leave. Now, you’ve invited your folks to her home without a moment’s consideration for her feelings.”

  “Now, wait a minute.” Anger coursed through him. “I didn’t invite anybody anywhere, and even if I did—”

  “You gonna make upsetting her a habit, son?” Sheriff Maurer glared at him. “If that’s the plan, you’d better rethink your involvement with Ceejay.”

  Noah shot up and went toe-to-toe with him. “What goes on between me and Ceejay is none of your business.”

  “Maybe it would be best for everyone if you moved on.”

  “Did you talk to Ceejay?” All the fight left him. “Is...is that what she said?”

  “Don’t need to talk to her.” Sheriff Maurer’s chin jutted out. “She’s had two men in her life. Two. You and Matt, and you’ve both caused nothing but trouble.”

  Was it true? Had he caused nothing but trouble?

  Sheriff Maurer adjusted his uniform hat. “Now I have to drive back to Evansville to tell Jenny that her girl is in the hospital. Do you know what that’s going to do to her?”

  Biting back the urge to tell the sheriff where to go, Noah pushed past him, strode through the lobby and out of the hospital to the parking lot. It hurt too much to poke around in the wound the sheriff’s words had opened. Instead, he focused on Lucinda. He just needed to keep his mind on the task ahead. There would be plenty of time to worry over everything else later.

  Noah caught sight of Gail as he drove down the Offermeyers’ driveway. She stood in the front yard with her youngest and her eyes grew brights t cperched on her hip. Lucinda and Celeste had climbed on the lowest rung of the corral fence attached to the Offermeyers’ barn to get close to the mare and her two foals. Noah pulled his truck off the drive and parked in the grass.

  “Hey, Noah. You’re early,” Gail called as she walked toward him with one hand shielding her eyes from the bright afternoon sun. “Did you happen to see what all those sirens were about a while ago?”

  Noah glanced Lucinda’s way. She was still enraptured by the horses and hadn’t turned to acknowledge his arrival yet. He waited until Gail reached him, so he could keep his voice down. “Ceejay flipped her car into the ditch. It happened at the bend about halfway between your place and theirs.”

  “Oh, my God! Is she all right?”

  “She has some broken bones. That’s all I know. I haven’t seen her yet. The ambulance took her to St. Mary’s in Boonville. She was in surgery by the time I got there.”

  “Do you want us to keep Lucinda tonight? Brandon is at a sleepover, and I know Celeste would love having her here.”

  “No. I appreciate the offer, but my parents are here, and they want to see her.”

  “If there’s anything we can do, you just let us know. Bring Lucinda over any time you need to.” Gail shook her head. “I just can’t believe it. First Jenny’s cancer. Now this...”

  Guilt poked at the open wound in his gut. “I have to get Lucinda home.” He also had to call Ted and let him know what happened. Ceejay’s cousin could inform the rest of her family. God, he wasn’t looking forward to having them descend upon him. Maybe he’d catch a break, and they wouldn’t come over until after his father left. “Lucinda,” he called.

  “Uncle Noah,” she cried as she hopped down from the fence. “I don’t wanna go yet.”

  He walked over to the corral with Gail beside him. “I know, but your grandma can’t wait to see you.”

  Lucinda’s eyes grew wide, and she started hopping. “Grandma’s here?”

  He opened his arms, and she ran to him. He scooped her up and held her close, breathing in her sunshine and fresh air scent. The sudden sting of tears took him by surprise, and he struggled to get himself under control. “She is, and she brought you something.”

  Lucinda leaned back and smiled at Celeste. “My grandma is going to spoil me rotten; that’s what she said.” She turned back to him. “Did she bring anything for my friend?”

  “I don’t think so, but I’ll bet whatever she brought, you can share with Celeste the next time she comes over to play.”

  “OK.” She put her tiny arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder.

  “Don’t you have something to say to Mrs. Offermeyer?”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Offmeyer,” Lucinda murmured, and yawned.

  “You’re welcome, honey. Call me if you need anything, Noah.” Gail rubbed Lucinda’s back. “I mean it.”

  “I will.” They reached his truck, and he strapped Lucinda into her car seat. She was almost asleep by the time he was behind the wheel. Maybe it would be best to let her nap the chair across from her. c c p b before breaking the news about her mother to her. He climbed
in and leaned out his window. “Thanks for taking her today.”

  “It’s no problem. She keeps Celeste busy.” Her baby fussed and rubbed his eyes, and she bounced him on her hip. “We all love Ceejay and Jenny. I can’t even tell you how many times they’ve stepped in when we needed help. I know you’re new around here, and maybe you don’t feel comfortable asking. Do it anyway. We owe you.”

  Noah nodded. It was all he could manage before turning his truck and heading home. He’d spent far too much time in his vehicle today and needed a break. His heart wrenched at the sight of Ceejay’s car as they passed. Glancing in the rearview mirror, he was relieved to see Lucinda sleeping. How would he explain why her mom’s car was upside down in the ditch? He inched along the Lovejoys’ drive at about two miles an hour, parked, and gently disentangled her from the car seat. She sighed and snuggled against his shoulder without waking. His heart melted. He was in for life. No doubt about it.

  Nope. He wasn’t going to turn tail and leave just because the sheriff of Warrick County thought it best. He’d find a way to make things right. How, he hadn’t a clue, but dammit, Ceejay and Lucinda were his, and he’d fight like hell to keep them.

  His dad opened the front door for him. Noah turned so he could see Lucinda. His father’s face softened as he ran a hand over her curls. “She looks like Allison,” he whispered. Their eyes met, and a moment of understanding passed between them, a connection and a common purpose. If there was one thing they could agree on, it was this. Family.

  “Ed, is that Noah?” Allison called from the kitchen.

  Lucinda stirred, stretched in his arms, and resettled. Allison approached from the kitchen, and his dad gestured to her for quiet.

  She whispered, “Let me take her upstairs and put her to bed.”

  He transferred the sleeping child to his stepmother, and his dad followed her upstairs. Noah walked back out to the veranda and pulled out his cell. Time to call Ted.

  After everything had been settled about who would pick Jenny up from the hospital tomorrow, he joined his parents in Lucinda’s room. His father studied the ABCs and 123s tapestries Ceejay had beaded for her daughter. He turned when Noah entered.

  “Ceejay did those,” Noah whispered. He’d been blown away when he’d first laid eyes on the pieces. How long had it taken her to create them? The alphabet had been beaded in block form with flowering vines and butterflies weaving through them, some beaded, some embroidered. The numbers were in varying colors with the same vines and butterflies so that the two framed works fit nicely together. Amazing detail. Heirloom quality.

  His father’s brow rose slightly in appreciation. Allison ran her fingers through Lucinda’s curls as she sat next to her on the bed. Noah tilted his head toward the door and walked into the hall. His father followed.

  “Would you two mind watching her for a while? I need to get back to St. Mary’s.”

  “Go ahead. We’ll be fine.” His father shifted his posture. “Look, Noah, I...”

  “I get it, Dad. We’d both do whatever necessary to protect our loved ones. You need to know this—Ceejay and Lucinda are my family. I’$ing you. His ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe. I’ll do whatever it takes to see that they have what they need.” Emotion flickered through his dad’s eyes. Pride?

  “We’ll talk later. Go.” His father turned back to Lucinda’s room.

  When had he become the equivalent of a human Ping-Pong ball? He took the stairs as fast as his prosthetic would allow and rushed out the Lovejoys’ door to his truck. Noah pulled back onto the country road and headed back to Boonville. At least Sheriff Maurer wouldn’t be there this time.

  He slowed down going around the bend where Ceejay’s accident had happened. A tow truck, lights flashing, maneuvered around in the middle of the road, getting into position to lower the winch. Noah gave the driver a two-fingered salute as he edged his truck by, like all the locals gave in passing. It didn’t matter it they knew one another or not. The small acknowledgment made him feel connected, like he belonged, and he needed that now.

  Pulling into the hospital parking lot, Noah took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Surely Ceejay would be out of surgery and in a room by now. He hurried to the front desk, where a silver-haired receptionist wearing a headset sat behind a computer screen.

  “I’m looking for Ceejay Lovejoy. She was in surgery earlier this afternoon.”

  Her fingers flew over the keyboard. “She’s in room two fourteen. Are you family?”

  “Yes.” As far as he was concerned.

  “Go on up, then. The elevators are down that hall and to your left.”

  “Thank you.” He was already on his way as he said it. The elevator whooshed open the second he pushed the up button. It was empty. Lucky break. His gut twisted into a knot on the way down the hall. What would he say? A doctor walked out of her room just as he arrived. He glanced at the ID on her white coat. “How is she, Dr. Jordan?”

  “She’s going to be fine. Are you family?”

  He nodded.

  “She’s awake, but still recovering from her surgery. Don’t overtax her.”

  “I won’t. Thanks.” He pushed the door open and walked in. Ceejay had been placed in a room the size of a large closet. Her eyes were closed, and she looked so small and broken in the bed, it nearly brought him to his knees. Both her wrists were encased in casts with dark blue gauze covering them. Her left arm was in a sling-like contraption that wrapped around her torso. Multiple scratches and small cuts covered what skin he glimpsed. “Ceejay?”

  He heard the intake of her breath from across the room, and his heart took a nosedive. “How are you, honey?” Noah moved to the chair beside her. She had stitches on her forehead, and the gash had swelled to an angry purple goose egg.

  She turned her head to glance at him, then turned to stare at the ceiling. “I’ve been better.”

  “Dr. Jordan says you’re going to be fine. Do you need anything? Can I do something to help you feel more comfortable?

  She shook her head, and a single tear leaked out of the corner of her eye. Pain seared his insides as the teardrop traced down her cheek and fell to the pillow. “I’m sorry my parents surprised you like they did.” He ran his hand over the back of his scalp. “I didn’t invite them. You know that, right?” and her eyes grew brights t c

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  “It does. I know how you feel about them.”

  Her brow furrowed. “Go home, Noah.”

  “Not until you tell me we’re all right.”

  A long sigh escaped her. She closed her eyes, and her mouth tightened into a straight line. More tears leaked out. Helplessness and frustration surged through him. He couldn’t even take her hand in his to offer her comfort. Her fingers were swollen, and both hands were partially encased in plaster. “Ceejay, talk to me.” He waited, holding his breath, and smoothed the hair away from her injured forehead.

  “Please go,” she whispered. “Can’t do this now.”

  Can’t do what now? Tell me to get the hell out of your life? Had the sheriff been right after all? The woman he loved lay busted and bruised in a hospital bed, and it wouldn’t have happened if it hadn’t been for him.

  He couldn’t take any more. The tenuous hold he had on his emotions snapped as the life he’d been building for himself in Perfect collapsed all around him. He didn’t want to have this breakdown in front of her. Noah shot of the chair, out the door down the hallway, down the stairs, and back to his truck.

  His heart pumped a furious rhythm inside his chest, and he no longer tried to stem the tears scalding his eyes. He leaned back in the bucket seat, closed his eyes, and let the sweltering waves of the desert heat take him. This time he welcomed the parade of the dead. Their eyes couldn’t condemn him any more than he condemned himself. Noah rode the flashback, no longer caring where it took him or for how long.

  Sweating and weak, he came back to the present. He swiped at the wetness on his cheeks. Nothing had changed. H
e still sat in his truck in the middle of the parking lot. Ceejay still lay in her hospital bed in Boonville, and Jenny remained in hers in Evansville. Nothing he could do about either.

  A hollowness spread inside him. He’d take hollow over the flashback. Hollow came close to calm, and calm he could handle. He turned the key in the ignition. He needed to regroup, hide out until he regained some perspective. Hell, he needed to regain his equilibrium. Lucinda didn’t care about flashbacks or broken hearts. She needed him front and center.

  Noah pulled his cell phone out of his back pocket and hit speed dial. Allison answered on the second ring. “How’s everything on your end?”

  “Good. Lucinda is still sleeping. What did you find out about Ceejay?”

  “She’s in room two fourteen. That’s about all I know. She...she wouldn’t talk to me.” He swallowed the lump in his throat.

  “Give her some time. She’s had a lot to deal with and just had surgery. She’s probably not up to talking to anybody.”

  “Listen, if it’s all right with you, I need some time to...to...” Get my shit together.

  “I understand, Noah. Do what you need to do.”

  “Thanks. I’ll be in the bay area of the carriage house if you need me. Talk to you later.” He snapped his phone shut and pulled out of the parking lot, heading for Perfect. Lowering the windows, Noah inhaled the fresh country air. Other than the hog stench, he loved the way southern Indiana smell the chair across from her. c c p bed. He didn’t know which scent came from which plant, but the sweetness was a balm to his raw nerves, and he never grew tired of breathing it in. By the time he parked next to Jenny’s car, it was almost five p.m., and he’d spent most of the day driving from one place to another. He needed to do something physical.

  The path to his apartment had a well-worn look to it, and he set his course for the carriage bays. He didn’t want to think or feel. He wanted to lose himself in something completely unrelated to the day’s stressors. Flipping on the newly updated overhead lights, Noah surveyed the workspace he and Ted were creating. A large piece of pegboard leaned against the wall. He’d mount it on the wall and organize his tools. Noah grabbed a tape measure, a pencil from the workbench, and threw himself into the job. It felt good to lift, drill, and fasten. None of the worry went away, but the physical activity gained him some much-needed control.