Mr & Mrs

by Huss, JA

  “We’re going on a date today, Mr. Romantic. It’s not midnight yet, so as long as we leave in the next seven minutes, you’re gonna be able to keep that promise.”

  “But I thought…” I nod my head at Ellie.

  “Oh, please,” Ellie says. “I’m happy to watch Bronte. I just overreacted and Mac went overboard with that request. Any time you guys need a sitter, you call me first, understand?”

  I look at Ivy and grin. “We get to go out… alone?”

  “Alone,” Ivy says back. “Come on.” She takes my hand and pulls me out the door, calling over her shoulder, “Don’t wait up!”

  “I don’t have shoes on,” I say.

  “Who needs shoes?” Ivy says, tugging on my hand so I’ll keep up with her.

  “We don’t have any wine, or food, or a blanket—”

  “We don’t need any of that romance stuff, Mr. Romantic. I’ve got it covered.”

  “You planned this?” I ask as we make our way up a steep path lined with soft white sand.

  She winks at me in the moonlight. “You’re not the only one with a devious mind, Nolan. Just relax and enjoy the walk.”

  “Where we going?”

  “You’ll see. Now tell me all about your day today. I have a feeling you left a lot of things out when you were talking with Five at the pig party.”

  So I tell her the truth. I tell her maybe I wanted a boy and I was afraid to admit that. Afraid I didn’t know how to be a good dad to a daughter. Afraid she’d fall out of love with me if I wasn’t the guy she thought I was.

  She doesn’t seem surprised. Because she says, “I fell in love with the infamous Mr. Romantic first, Nolan. Because that’s who you thought you were back then. But you were wrong when you said the name was ironic. You’re very fucking romantic. You lost sight of who you were back at Brown. And you fell into some kind of alternate reality where Nolan Delaney was an asshole. But I never fell for that act. I saw through you. And yeah, bringing you back out of that façade was a pretty intense experience, but it was worth it. Because every day since our date back on Martha’s Vineyard you’ve showed me your true self. I love this guy. And today, when I found out you spent the whole day with Five’s girls trying to learn how to be a better father to our daughter, well, I fell just a little bit harder for your romantic side.”

  “Girls aren’t what I thought.” I sigh.

  “What did you think we were?” she asks, her face twisted up in a smirk.

  I shrug. “Confusing. But I love Bronte and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone. I don’t know if she’s gonna be like Louise and Mathilda. Or like you. Or like Rory. Or Tori, or Ellie, or Cindy. But it doesn’t matter. I hope she’s… just Bronte. Whatever that means. Tea parties in playhouses or chasing pigs in tutus. Crazy adventures or pretty dresses. Pointy spears and hoods, and capes or ballet lessons instead of tee-ball. I don’t think it matters.”

  “You know what?” she asks.

  “What?”

  “She can be all those things and still be a girl.”

  I smile, then break into a laugh. “Yeah. I guess I know that now.”

  “You always knew it, Nolan. Just like you knew people didn’t call you Mr. Romantic because it was ironic. You’re the most romantic man I’ve ever met. You just needed me and Bronte to help you get over the past and admit to yourself that you’ve always been a pretty nice guy.”

  We stop walking and I realize we’re standing in front of a waterfall with a pool of sweet-smelling water rippling in the shine of moonlight. “Where are we?” I ask.

  “We’re at Five and Rory’s secret spot. I told her I needed a date with you tonight and she said to bring you here.”

  “It’s… fucking beautiful.”

  “But there’s one more secret place she told me about. Come on, follow me.” Ivy takes my hand and leads me over to some rocks. She says, “Climb, Nolan. I’m taking you to the top of the world.”

  I just shake my head and smile as I do as I’m told. And when we get to the top of the hill, we can see the whole island.

  So perfect. So still. Such… paradise.

  “This is my fantasy, Mr. Romantic.” And then Ivy Delaney, my wife and soulmate, and mother of my child, unbuttons her blouse as it flutters in the hot, tropical breeze, and says, “Trust me. I’m gonna take care of you tonight.”

  So I do.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight - WEST

  I have to wake Ethan up in the morning. He’s dead asleep, snoring loudly in the second bedroom. Tory left an hour ago and put me in charge of wrangling all the guys together into some coherent group because the women were busy. “We don’t have time to make sure you guys get to the altar, Weston,” she said. “We had a wedding-dress crisis last night and we’ve all got to pull together to make this the best day ever.”

  So I mumbled out a sleepy, “You got it,” and rolled back over, trying to forget the fact that I went lobstering yesterday without gloves and my hands are stinging like fuck.

  But now that I’m fully awake, this shit is real. “Ethan,” I say, shaking him for like the tenth time in nine minutes. “Get up. We’ve got things to do. We’re getting married today.”

  I look down at my hands and realize I’ve got little pinpricks of blood all over my palms. So I go into the bathroom, looking for a first-aid kit so I can wrap them up.

  He yawns cavernously, rubs his eyes, and says, “I can’t be your best man, Dad.”

  “What?” I stop applying ointment to look over at him. “Why not?”

  “Because then I’ll be standing by you instead of Mathilda and Louise.”

  “OK,” I say, not really understanding. Mathilda and Louise are the flower girls, I know that much. But… “Is that a bad thing?”

  “Yeah,” Ethan says, sitting up in bed. “Because we’re kids, right?”

  “Right.” I still don’t get it.

  “Well, if I’m the only kid standing up there with you, when no one else has a best man, then I’m not really a kid. So I’m gonna carry the rings like little boys are supposed to.”

  Hmmm. I think about this for a second as I wrap my hands in gauze—if I get blood all over my shirt, Tori will kill me. None of the other guys have a best man because… well, we’re all getting married on the same day. I’d always have had Ethan standing with me. But I’m pretty sure if we weren’t all getting married on the same day, Pax and Oliver would be each other’s best man, and Nolan and Mac would be each other’s best man. And Five would probably ask his little brother Wyatt or his brother-in-law Jax, or his crazy Uncle James. But since none of the other guys had a best man, he’s opted out too.

  I realize we’ve all become pretty good friends over the last year. Sure, we spent a lot of time apart since everything happened back in college, but this last year was good for us. We’re kind of a team now and that means we can’t be both groom and best man to each other on the same day. So we decided Ethan would stand with me and no one else would have a best man because we just don’t have enough people. And the parents didn’t want to fill in. They wanted to be sitting in the front row watching.

  “And,” Ethan continues, “I kinda like Mathilda. She’s fun.”

  “Oh,” I say, laughing through my smile. I get it now. He wants to stand next to her, not me. “Well, I’m OK with that.”

  “Yeah,” Ethan says. “I knew you would be. Plus…” He stops to look up at me. “Now you know for sure, right?”

  “Now I know what?” I ask.

  “That I’ve decided to be a kid again. I’m gonna hang out with Mathilda all the time now. She said she’d show me the ropes.”

  “Did she? Well, that’s gonna be challenging, since she lives here and we live in Colorado.”

  “I’m not worried about it,” Ethan says, jumping up from bed.

  I ruffle his messy hair and say, “Me either, sport.”

  We grab our tuxes and head out, banging on all the bungalow doors as we make our way past. Pax is next door, so we grab him first. He’s g
ot tape across his nose. I think Five broke it last night because of the whole Charles Vance thing. Then Mac comes, with a huge bandage over the side of his neck.

  “What the fuck is that?” Pax mumbles, pointing at Mac’s neck.

  “Fucking mutant bee stung me yesterday at the cave you told me to take Ellie to.” Perfect glares at me for a second, but then points to Paxton’s taped nose. “You deserved that.”

  “Fuck you,” Pax grumbles.

  We grab Nolan next. “What the fuck?” I ask him. “What the hell is wrong with your face?” He has a huge lump on the side of his head near his ear. A proper goose-egg with an ugly blue-green bruise that leaks onto his cheek.

  Nolan touches it, winces, and says, “Got hit in the head with a rock while I was chasing down that baby pig.”

  We can’t help but laugh as we picture how that must’ve went down.

  I bang on Oliver’s door and he comes out swinging his garment bag over his shoulder. His lip is split from where Five elbowed. He dabs at it with a tissue and says, “Don’t say a fucking word,” as he takes up the lead.

  We meet Five up at the main house and take up residence in his living room to get dressed. He’s got a beauty of a black eye from where Ariel clocked him.

  We’re a bunch of fuck-ups because we’re gonna look like hoodlums in tuxes with all our injuries.

  But… this might turn out to be the most awesome wedding picture ever.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine - PAX

  I think Nolan is the most interesting part about watching everyone get ready for the wedding. Ivy had one of the Shrike sisters drop Bronte off about an hour ago with these simple instructions. “Make her pretty. Whatever that means to you.”

  I have to say… I’m jealous of that asshole right now. Five’s girls are all over him. Even the twins. They give him hair tips and show him headbands and barrettes that might match Bronte’s dress. Bronte, to her credit, is patient with her father. She sits quietly on a rug in the center of the living room sucking on a corner of a baby blanket as she watches everyone with drowsy eyes.

  My nose hurts from that punch Five gave me last night. But I’m pretty sure his eye is throbbing just as bad. Not to mention my arm is killing me where Golden Balls bit me.

  I look around the room as I straighten my tie. Every one of us looks nervous. Even Five. I walk over to him and say, “Hey, I really am sorry about last night.”

  He’s tying his tie, looking at his fingers in the mirror as they work the knot. But he glances up at me and shrugs. “You didn’t know.”

  “I could’ve told ya he was coming.”

  “Yeah, and I would’ve freaked out and probably said no.” He turns to face me, offers up a small smile, then says, “And it’s not my call, right? Who gets to attend your wedding. He’s your father, Pax. If you want him here, he should be here. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” He claps me on the shoulder and walks off, calling out to his girls, “Out, ladies! We’re T-minus ten minutes until take off. Go find your mother!”

  Nolan hands Bronte off to his mother, and I swear, that guy’s heart is gonna explode if the look on his face is any indication of how he’s feeling.

  I glance at Oliver in the mess of people and find him looking at me. He swallows hard and pushes past his father to make his way over. “Hey,” he says.

  “What’s up?” I ask, smiling. “You nervous?”

  “Nah,” he says. “Just… I’m sorry, OK? About giving you shit. You’re the right guy for her, Pax. And now… well, I can’t think of a better man to call a brother.”

  I pull him in for a man hug. He claps my back and then we break away and sigh. “This is it,” I say “The end of the crazy Mister life.”

  “You’re not gonna lose your edge, Mr. Mysterious. My sister is safer with you than any other person on this planet.”

  “Thanks,” I say. “It means a lot to me. I really do love her, Oliver. And I know she’s tough, but keeping her safe is the only job that matters now.”

  “You’ve got it in the bag.”

  And then Five’s father whistles sharply to get everyone’s attention. The entire room calms down at his request. “It’s time,” he says. “Let’s do it.”

  My stomach does all kinds of weird things as we file out of the house and make our way down to the beach. There’s an open tent to keep the sun off us and a whole bunch of people. But I’m surprised to see photographers snapping pics as we walk.

  “What the hell are they doing here?” I ask Oliver with a nudge.

  “I guess Five finally gave up,” he says. “He said they could come down to photograph the wedding if they promised not to circle the helicopters during the ceremony.”

  “Dude’s got all the answers,” I say.

  “Yeah,” Oliver admits with a sigh. “He really does. But he’s fucking Five, so what’d I expect?”

  We all walk up on the platform serving as an altar and Pastor Rockwell greets each of us by name as we take our places.

  When the music starts, I seriously think I might throw up. But then there they are. Our girls, starting with Louise and Mathilda, who throw flower petals as they make their way up front. Ethan is behind them holding a long pillow with twelve wedding rings on top. All lined up in a neat little row. Ellie appears first and I have to take a second look at her dress, because that’s not quite what I imagined as her style. It’s got a long slit up both sides and she’s showing a lot of leg. Then I notice Ivy has a similar dress and I know that’s not her dress. When Tori comes out wearing a miniskirt I start getting excited at what Cindy might have in store for me. And then there she is… radiant. My Miss Cookie takes my breath away. It’s not the dress. I barely have time to look at the dress as she comes towards me.

  All I see are her eyes, staring up at me, as I lift her veil. She whispers, “You found me, Detective Mysterious.”

  I smile and say, “No, Miss Cookie. You found me.”

  “You’re the real deal, Paxton Vance. A true Prince Charming.”

  I pretty much beam happiness as Pastor Rockwell begins to speak.

  But I can’t stop looking at her.

  I got a real-life Cinderella.

  And she kicks ass.

  Chapter Thirty - OLLIE

  I start smiling when I see the girls come out in their newly altered dresses. Ellie and Ivy have slits up the side that I’m pretty sure were not authorized by Ivy’s father, because I catch him squinting at her bare legs.

  Then Tory shows up in a miniskirt and I have to cover my mouth. Because I know what happened last night after Kat’s dress got ruined by those vagrant kittens.

  Cindy shows up in something so inappropriate for a wedding, she might as well wear that to her next rock concert. I’m pretty sure all the paparazzi have forgotten all about Charles Vance and every picture on TV tomorrow will be of my baby sister’s legs.

  But then I look at Paxton and he’s not even remotely interested in what she’s wearing.

  Yeah, letting him off the hook for falling in love with Cindy was the right thing to do. Because he’s a goner.

  And then I see Katja. She looks scared and small compared to everyone else. She’s very young, but in a different way than Ivy. And even though her dress is a patchwork of all the spare lace and satin and chiffon the other Mrses could spare, it’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen.

  Because it was made with love. Every bride-to-be gave up a piece of her dress so my sisters and mom could make Kat a new one.

  Katja is crying as she reaches for my hand. I squeeze her fingers and pull her veil away. “I love you,” I whisper. “And that dress is beautiful.”

  She wipes her tears, not caring about her makeup. “I know,” she says. “It’s better than perfect. It’s more than I ever imagined.”

  She gulps a huge breath of air, straightens her shoulders, and we turn together and face the pastor.

  I don’t hear a word he says. I don’t even say the right vows when it’s my turn to talk. I look a
t no one but Katja. I speak only to Katja. I make all my promises to her. And when we put our rings on we realize… it’s done.

  We made it.

  I kiss her long and hard and she whispers into my mouth, “Kiss me here,” as she points to her tattoo under her ear.

  So I do.

  “And here,” she says.

  I do again.

  “And here,” she says.

  I hold her close and bury my face into the soft skin of her neck. And I kiss her… everywhere.

  We’ve been through a lot, us Misters. But these girls came along with us. And they’re still here. And we’re still here.

  It’s fitting, when they take our picture after the ceremony is over, that we’re just a bunch of banged-up guys. Black eyes, bee stings, split lips, bleeding hands, and broken noses.

  We’ve made a lot of mistakes. We’re not perfect by any means. But we know how to love.

  And we’re just like the dresses our brides are wearing.

  Cut up into pieces, patched back together, and sewn up into something new.

  Something better than we were before.

  Chapter Thirty-One - FIVE

  It’s funny how life can totally derail and go off track and you end up someplace you never thought you’d be.

  I’m pretty sure Mr. Perfect never imagined he’d go out to my island and leave with a pack of kittens. But Ellie fell in love with them, so they took all five back to their little farm. I imagine a farm is pretty much a cat’s dream. And I’m equally sure that Mrs. Perfect never imagined herself taking in a family of six orphaned siblings after their parents died in a car wreck and then find out a month later she’s pregnant.

  Nope. I was there for that and I can say with one hundred percent certainty, Mrs. Perfect never saw that coming.

  Most people might send those foster kids back so they could concentrate on their own family, but Ellie and Mac just added on a few bedrooms to their house and never even blinked. It wasn’t a challenge, Mac told me later. It was just a transition.