The Lies We Believe

by Eden Rose

  By the time I get over to their house, I’m feeling mixed emotions about being here. I haven’t been to their house since before we found out that Baron was apart of the squad that got blown up.

  “Uncle Gar!” They yell and begin circling me as if I’m their prey.

  “Hey, pretty ladies!” I lean over and pick both of them up.

  They squeal and throw their arms up at me in happiness. Once I have them secured on my hips, I walk into the house and then immediately into the kitchen where I set up the cuties with some ice cream.

  “Shush, don’t tell your mom,” I whisper to them like it’s a secret. I get two bowls down from the cabinet next to the freezer and then pull open the drawer next to the stove to get out a spoon. Quickly, I scoop out two scoops of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream in each bowl and slide it over to them.

  They both show me a toothy smile and then begin to dig in. I smile back at them and then ruffle their hair a little. Both Cayla and Cammie fake growl at me which causes me to laugh. “Ladies, I’m going to go find your mom and your aunts. Do you know where they are?”

  Cayla has always been the most inquisitive. She’s the one that wants to know how things work and why people are the way they are. I already know she’s going to be exactly like Baron was when we were kids. Always asking “why” and asking if people were all right.

  “What’s wrong?” She asks me and scrunches up her cute little face to show me her concern.

  “Don’t worry bout a thing, baby,” I say to her and kiss her forehead.

  I walk out of the kitchen before I start getting peppered with questions as to why I’m here and not at home. The truth is, I have no idea why I was dragged out of my home and forced to call into work. I have a feeling it has to do with my brother, but you can never be too fucking sure these days.

  Upon entering the sacred room, Baron ’s office, I see that there’s a big ass mess in the middle of the office and three very guilty looking women.

  Audrey is sitting on the floor looking at me as if she’s seen a ghost and her face is paler than shit. Liz is set up next to her but her legs are stretched out in front of her. And Jerry, well Jerry is busy clicking something on the computer and is looking very intently at whatever it is.

  “Mind telling me what the fuck happened in here?” I ask the three women at large. Knowing, without a shadow of doubt, that these three women are the reason why this office is a disaster. Baron always kept his space clean and organized, so whatever this mess is, is clearly new.

  Jerry’s beautiful face tilts from the computer screen and she narrows her eyes at me. “I think you need to see this,” she says to me.

  I’m being careful as I’m walking through the minefield of paper stacks and files that are scattered throughout the floor as I walk over to Jerry. Once I’m in front of the screen, she presses “play” on the keys and then the video begins.

  Almost instantly, I’m back in the sandbox and remembering what happened.

  “Fuck me!” I yell out as I dodge over the keys of the computer for the USB port. “Where the fuck did you get this?” I demand as I stare Jerry down.

  Audrey climbs off the floor and is in my face to defend her sister in law. “Now, I need you to listen and not go all cop on me. You promise?” She asks me and she sets her hand down on mine.

  I shake my head and then Liz follows her best friend and now I’m face to face with all three of them. Two of which, I have seen naked. “Fine!” I yell out again.

  My baby sister begins to unravel a tale that has me shaking my head. There’s no way that someone could be sending her letters and notes and me not know about it. That’s when she starts pulling the notes and letters out of a bag that is next to her. Sure enough, they are rather threatening.

  “Do you think that this flash drive could be what these people have on Baron ?” Audrey asks me and then crosses her arms. I know that she’s still pissed off about my reaction to she and Damien hanging out again, but we are talking about our brother here.

  I’m willing to put aside my fucking hatred for Damien in order to protect my brother’s reputation. Even if that means that I have to work with Damien.

  I study the pieces of paper intently and then move them from left to right in the light of the room. The slant of the writing along with the bubble lettering prove that is a female that is writing these. I compare the writing of two notes and determine that they are the same person who is writing them all. So, that means that we may only be dealing with one person opposed to a bunch.

  One person is easier to track.

  That’s when I realized whose handwriting it belongs to.

  God damn it. How the hell did Liz get one over on me?

  Audrey

  I watched my brother as he worked out all of his emotions regarding the notes. Garrett’s facial expressions have always been his tell. I have been able to see what he is feeling and how he’s feeling just by the look on his face. And right now, it’s tight and red.

  “How did my ex girlfriend know that Baron had this? How the fuck did she know this?” He yells out as he is crinkling the note up in his hand.

  “What do you mean?” I demand. “What fucking ex are you talking about?” Honestly, who would know anything about what they did in the military.

  I didn’t watch the full video and to be honest, I’m happy that I didn’t. If what was on that video is making my brother this fucking pissed off, I couldn’t imagine what else is on it.

  Garrett is shaking his head back and forth and looks at his wife, Liz. They have a secret conversation and she shakes her head as if to tell him that she didn’t finish watching the video. He must have been worried that it would change the way that we both thought of him.

  Jerry’s standing off to the side with her hand covering her mouth and she’s got some wide eyes. “I can’t… I can’t believe this!” She stutters out.

  “I need to call Damien,” my brother claims.

  I shake my head and then blurt out a: “No!”

  Garrett is looking over at me as if I’m crazy and then he says: “We need him over here because this affects him just as much as it affects me. Let me go get him.”

  We don’t have a chance to argue with him and all three of us are standing with our hands over our mouths. Forever the one that is known to cause problems, Liz snaps into play and looks for the flash drive. Once she’s found it, she’s sticking it into the computer and pulling up the rolling chair behind her.

  We all gather around and wait for something to happen. “What do I do now?” Jerry asks and clicks on the visual file that flashes on the screen.

  I shrug and then point to the new pop-up box that has taken up the whole screen. “I guess click on this now?”

  I look over at Liz trying to see if she has a better idea and when she doesn’t say anything, I know that she doesn’t. “I have no idea, guys.”

  The file takes about five seconds to load and I will be honest when I say that it’s the longest five seconds of my life. A link flashes now and it says that we have to open it in Adobe Flash Player. “Is it a video?” I ask and squint to see if there is anything on it that will tell me anything.

  Jerry looks over at Liz and my friend winks at our sister-in-law. I’m not even going to dive into the fact that their relationship is crazy and I don’t know what the hell they’re doing. Before Baron died, I thought for sure that Liz and Jerry were still hooking up, but I never asked. I don’t know if I want to know because I’m curious or if I want to know because she’s my friend.

  Oh well.

  Instantly, the video loads and there is a man that is tied to a wooden chair in a dark room. When I say he’s a man, I’m only assuming because there is a sack over his head. The build would make me think that it was a man, though.

  I recognize the voice that comes next. “Well, Abdul. I’m only going to ask one more fucking time,” Damien says as he kicks at the chair. “Where the fuck is the bomb?”

  Baron is walking ar
ound the room that they are in in his uniform and I hear Jerry gasp. I place my hand on the mouse pad for the computer to stop it. Once the video is stopped, Jerry looks over at me as if I’ve gone fucking crazy. “Do you think it’s a good idea to watch this?” I ask her.

  Momentarily, I look at my best friend to see if she will back me up. I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to watch this because then it can taint the memories that she has of her husband. Those memories are the only thing she has left besides her twin girls.

  “I’m watching it!” Jerry says and clicks on the mouse. I jerk my hand off of hers and Liz just shakes her head. She shrugs me off and then her eyes are glued to the screen.

  Abdul, or at least that’s what they called them, is mumbling something inaudible since his mouth is covered by the sack. Damien kicks the chair again and then yanks the sack off of his head.

  “No!”

  Our heads all snap up and we are looking at Damien and Garrett standing in the doorway with their chests heaving up and down. “Do. Not. Watch. It!” Garrett says and runs over to Liz.

  He has his hands on her shoulders and he’s dragging her small body into his frame to give her a hug. “Honey, what’s wrong?” Clearly she’s as confused as I am regarding what the hell we started to watch.

  Damien strolls over towards me and grabs my elbow pulling me away from the computer screen. “You guys can’t watch that fucking video. It’s top secret!”

  Jerry starts laughing and then looks at the four of us. “Are you fucking serious? My husband died recently and now all of you ransacked his office. Now you’re telling me I can’t watch a video of my husband?”

  “I know what’s on that video. Alexander and I both know because we were both there. You wouldn’t want to know that shit. I don’t want my brother to be remembered this way. I would want him to remembered as the kind and generous pain in the ass,” Garrett says.

  “What has she been sending you?” Damien asks me and holds me close to his body.

  I begin to shake my head because right now is not the time that I want to be having this conversation with Damien. Much less in front of the watchful eye of my brother. “It’s none of your damn business,” I growl out and then wiggle out of his hold. I need as much distance between us as possible.

  The fact that I’m starting to develop feelings for Damien again is not good. He hurt me all of those years ago and then had the nerve to show up at my trial. Who does that? Tell their girlfriend that they don’t love them a couple of nights before their rapist goes on trial?

  Dr. Damien Alexander.

  And what’s happening now? The damn cycle is repeating itself and it’s hurting me all over again.

  “My lovely, everything that happens to you is my business. I don’t know what this bug is that has crawled up your ass, but I’m not liking it. I want to know everything.”

  Jerry is standing now next to the computer and then closes the lid to the screen. She doesn’t say anything to any of us as she gathers it in her hands and then walks out of the room. Very quietly, she closes the door and then we are just left with us four.

  Garrett is nodding his head and then looking at my best friend. “Did you know about these notes?”

  Liz shakes her head and then looks over at me trying to figure out what I’m thinking. “I didn’t know anything about what was happening. You think it was your ex, Liz, that is doing this?”

  Damien nods his head in unison to Garrett. These two are like fucking bobble heads with all of this nodding shit.

  “All five of us need to sit down and have a conversation about what you just saw. Since I know that Jerry’s already watching the video, we need to cover up our asses,” Garrett exclaims.

  My traitorous body is craving Damien’s strong one and I can’t help it that I inch closer to him. Once I’m within a few inches, he reaches out and grabs me.

  In order to keep up the display of the fact that I’m trying to tell him that I’m not interested in a relationship with him, I attempt to move. The trick is to make it seem like I don’t want to be with him while wanting to be with him. It’s tricky, but I’m hoping you get the picture.

  “Don’t even try those stupid fucking, dumb ass games that women play, Audrey. You want me as much as I want you. This is where you’re going to stay.”

  My arms are now covered in goosebumps and I feel my underwear getting drenched. He’s got his fingertips digging into the flesh of my ass.

  “Uh,” Liz clears her throat and then looks at us. “I’m going to go get Jerry and then we can talk about this.”

  She turns on her heels and walks out the door with my brother following her. He stops at the door and then crosses his arms at the chest. I can tell that he’s trying to assess the situation. “I’m going to stay here, baby,” he says to Liz.

  Liz shakes her head at Garrett and then looks at me. I shrug in order to let her know that it doesn’t matter to me if Garrett stays or goes. “Go ahead. He’s just babysitting us.”

  Damien chuckles and then tucks me under his arm securely. I’m not even going to lie to you when I say that it’s the most comfort I have felt in a long time. And that is when my brain caught up to the rest of me.

  No!

  This is not okay. He doesn’t get to do this to me again. I used him for the sex and he’s not going to get one over me this time because I’m in charge.

  Mmm, sex.

  “We don’t need a fucking babysitter. What the hell do you think I’m going to do to Audrey?” Damien demands and puffs out his chest. I try to get out from underneath his arm and he holds me tighter against him. “Give it up, my lovely. I got you.”

  Why is that my heart swells and my clit throbs with excitement when he talks like that? The room is quiet except for my loud breathing.

  Instantly, I began to cry. I have no idea why I’m crying in a room with my family and my ex, but what I just saw had got me going. I never knew my brothers would do something like this. What more did I not know about them?

  Approximately, twenty seconds into my break down, Damien has me swooped up in his arms and is cradling me against his chest. I missed the part where he’s carrying me towards the chair behind the desk until he’s sitting.

  “My lovely, it’s okay. I know…” He whispers in my ear as he’s pushing my messy hair out of my face.

  “This is horrible,” I blubber out.

  Damien

  Seeing Audrey behind her brother’s desk after we have both ignored each other for the past couple of days, strikes something inside me. I don’t know exactly what it is but I feel it in the morrow of my bones that I miss her.

  It’s been almost ten years since I saw the recording in question and I wish I had never had to see it again. It’s a disgusting display of what war could do to someone when they are ready to get the fuck out of the sand box and go home.

  What’s worse than the memories of what I was forced to become is now Audrey had to see it.

  Garrett clears his throat and then reaches out to take Audrey from me. My response to this is to hold her tighter against me. I’m not ready to let her go and I’m not allowing her brother to take her from me.

  “Guys, Jerry is on her way. She watched the whole fucking video and she’s upset about it. What was in it?” Liz asks as she stands in the doorway with her hands on her hips. I could tell that she and Garrett have something real going on because he abandons Audrey to go to Liz’s side.

  I wanted to snarl at him and then pound my fists against my chest. My woman.

  Two twin girls that look like mirrors show up behind Liz and push their faces between her legs. “Why is Mommy crying?” One of them asked.

  Whose kids are these? They are fucking cuter than shit but I don’t know where the hell they came from.

  Garrett walks over to them and squats down so he’s their level. “What about a pizza tonight? Then after, I can make you special sundaes with everything you love on them. Sound good?”

  The girl and
her mirror both nod frantically and then run out the door.

  Jerry walks into the room with both girls on her hips and she then sets them down as they tell her about the pizza. “Here’s my phone, Cayla. You go order the food and then let me know how much to give you in cash.”

  I look at her through the side of my eyes and raise my eyebrows. “They know to order food?” I question.