Mistress And Mother

by Lynne Graham

  White as a ghost, shrinking away from his appalled reaction and very much wishing she had kept her mouth shut, Molly studied him with stricken eyes. A sense of horrified humiliation was beginning to engulf her as the manner in which Sholto had framed her beliefs did indeed make them sound grotesquely far-fetched. Indeed at that moment Molly was finding it very difficult to comprehend how she had first begun to develop and believe in such an offensive scenario to explain what she could not understand. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled almost inaudibly.

  ‘Dio…you deserve to be shaken until your teeth rattle in your stupid little head!’ Sholto told her roundly, with no diminution in his wrath. ‘I have never been so disgusted in all my life. Pandora is indeed the closest thing I have ever had to a sister and I am very fond of her but my father did not have an affair with her mother and there are no grounds whatsoever for anyone to even suggest that he did. He would never have dreamt of starting an affair within his own family circle and I doubt if he saw Pandora’s mother more than a handful of times after her marriage because he couldn’t stand her husband!’

  Molly had turned a bright pink under his contemptuous gaze but she was endeavouring to find some form of self-defence. ‘I heard all the gossip about Pandora’s father committing suicide,’ she muttered frantically. ‘People suggesting that you and Pandora might really be brother and sister and that he had found out and—’

  At that reference, Sholto’s angry face clenched hard and chilled. ‘Believe me, that is not why Parker shot himself.’

  Molly gathered her shredded dignity, mustered her turbulent thoughts into order and murmured with pleading unsteadiness, ‘All right, I made some…some very ill-judged assumptions and I apologise for that but please just explain to me why Pandora was so upset and why she was saying the kinds of things she was saying that day if there had never been that sort of relationship between you…’

  A flash of complete exasperation appeared in Sholto’s eyes and then his gaze veiled, his strong features bleak. ‘Without her permission that’s not my story to tell. No further explanations should be necessary. It should be sufficient for you to know that you grossly misinterpreted what you overheard and that there was never anything between us which threatened you.’

  The gulf of silence stretched.

  Sholto threw himself back down into a seat across the aisle, almost as if he couldn’t bring himself to return to his former seat opposite her. There was a look of brooding bitterness in his eyes she had never seen before as he studied her and that look shook Molly inside out. ‘Sholto…’ she began fearfully, terrified of the huge rift which she had suddenly opened up between them in her refusal to leave the past where it belonged.

  ‘But perhaps it’s time I told you another story,’ he continued flatly, his mouth twisting. ‘I met a very attractive girl in a country lane four and a half years ago…and she was quite unlike any other girl I had met. She was very frank and open and warm and she never, ever pretended to be something she wasn’t. I fell head over heels in love with that girl…’

  Molly jerked, losing colour.

  ‘And I call her a girl because she wasn’t a woman. In many ways she was still very immature. Even though she didn’t live in a happy home, she still stayed there and never dared to argue against any of her stepfather’s unreasonable demands. In short, she was still very unsure of herself as an adult. But I thought I could handle that until she came in contact with my very different lifestyle and quite suddenly began to change…’

  Molly bit her lip at the painful accuracy of the picture he drew.

  ‘I wanted to put the wedding back, give us both more time, but I doubted my ability to persuade you that that was not a rejection. The Press would’ve had a field day with a cancellation, you would’ve felt humiliated and our relationship would not have survived the stress. I didn’t want to lose you, so we soldiered on, not very successfully, and at the first challenge we fell apart…and by the way, Molly, whether you like to admit it or not, you were high as a kite on too much champagne that day.’

  Colour drenched her strained cheekbones. Her eyes slewed from his but she gave a jerky little nod and compressed her lips, feeling the tears threatening.

  ‘At the same time, a problem I hadn’t seen developing suddenly created a major crisis on what should’ve been a wonderful day. Everything went wrong so fast, my head spun,’ Sholto breathed grimly. ‘But I did try to sort it out, I did try to see you, and all I got was a petition for divorce on the grounds of adultery served on me. That and that article on Pandora marked the bitter end.’

  ‘You never told me you loved me,’ Molly whispered chokily, shaking her head as if she could rein back the tears by doing so.

  ‘Maybe I didn’t have the words but I thought I showed it…I probably showed it most strongly when you rolled up at the altar looking like Peter Pan in drag,’ he completed ruefully.

  ‘I needed you to tell me that you loved me…I needed that reassurance to feel more secure,’ Molly framed unevenly.

  But Sholto was looking through her as if he couldn’t quite see her any more. He expelled his breath in a driven hiss. ‘I think you should go down to Templebrooke for a few days…give us both some breathing space. Right now, I am not in the mood to reassure you.’

  Molly had gone pale, eyes widening in dismay. ‘Sholto, I—’

  ‘Dio mio…you drag up the past as if we’re still living it! You wouldn’t give five minutes of your time four years ago to discuss our marriage and save it…but you’re throwing it all up at me now,’ Sholto condemned with chilling bite. ‘I thought we were happy and at this moment I feel so angry and bitter that I don’t trust myself around you.’

  ‘Sholto…’ Molly said painfully. ‘I love you.’

  He cast her an embittered look of derision. ‘No, you don’t,’ he countered with a shocking degree of dismissal. ‘You don’t know the first thing about love. If you really loved me, you’d expect the odd imperfection and the occasional secret and you wouldn’t still be sitting in judgement; you’d trust me!’

  ‘I do trust you,’ Molly began feverishly.

  But Sholto wasn’t listening. Studying her with stonily hard dark eyes, he demanded grimly, ‘And who was it who continually went out on a limb to get us back together again? It certainly wasn’t you! You didn’t even have the guts to admit you still wanted me…I had to use your brother to get you back and then I had to rely on your pregnancy to keep you with me! And you think you need more reassurance, Molly? I think you’ve already had far more than your fair share!’

  Flattened by that hail of recriminations and tears by then overflowing to track down her cheeks, Molly leapt out of her seat and headed for the washroom. When she emerged again ten minutes later, Sholto was on the phone arranging for separate transport for them both, so that they could part as soon as the jet landed.

  ‘I don’t want to go to Templebrooke without you,’ she whispered tightly, seriously out of her depth with the way that Sholto was behaving now. A little crack had suddenly stretched and burst into a massive rift and she wasn’t quite sure yet how it had happened but one thing she was painfully aware of…Sholto was anything but satisfied with her and their relationship.

  ‘I am not about to apologise for needing a little time to simmer down,’ Sholto informed her coldly.

  And that was that.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  OUTSIDE the airport terminal building, Molly climbed like a sleepwalker into the limousine waiting for her. Donald had warned her that Sholto was very bitter but Molly had not seen that bitterness until it was too late. She hadn’t seen it, she conceded, because, unlike her, Sholto had been able to put the past behind him and start entirely afresh on their second marriage.

  But that had been rather easier for him since he had never been in her position, had never known what it was to believe that she loved someone else. How could he understand how that fearful insecurity about Pandora had haunted her even in the midst of her genuine happiness a
nd contentment?

  Yet what had she done today but wreck that happiness? She had deeply offended him with wildly erroneous and unpleasant allegations, the recollection of which still made her cringe and want to die a thousand deaths. And once she had roused Sholto’s anger the whole situation had suddenly exploded into something far more damaging and something she could no longer control.

  Since Sholto had very obviously never been in love with Pandora and indeed clearly judged himself to be the injured party of their first marriage, he would have had to have quite inexhaustible patience to tolerate Pandora being raised as a bone of contention between them yet again. And Molly knew that Sholto had many virtues but inexhaustible patience was certainly not one of them.

  He had brushed off her assurance that she loved him with complete derision and that had really hurt her. Yet before that he had made her ache with pain by finally telling her how much he had loved her four years ago. Even more aware than she had been that their relationship was in trouble, he had still married her rather than risk losing her. For a male as shrewd, coolly logical and practical as Sholto that had been a very telling choice.

  And what about his accusation that she had already had far more reassurance than she deserved this time around? Right into early evening at Templebrooke, Molly paced the floor of the drawing room, disturbed by the maddening manner in which Sholto could, with a few annoyingly well-chosen words, turn her view of their relationship entirely upside down. For in scornfully describing how he had had to make all the major moves which had led to their remarriage he had told her so much.

  In her efforts to protect herself and in her conviction that he loved another woman, she had fought him every step of the way. He was angry and bitter because he had felt forced to use first Nigel and then their coming child as pressure first to bring her back into his life and, second, to keep her there. And what did that tell her? Sholto had wanted and hoped for far more from her than a willingness to share his bed…bingo, Molly!

  Racing over to the phone like a drowning swimmer who had suddenly been thrown a lifebelt, Molly punched out the phone number of the town house. Ogden answered.

  ‘I’m afraid Mr Cristaldi’s out, madam.’

  ‘He’s still at the office, then,’ Molly assumed.

  ‘No, he went out to dine with Miss Stevenson—’

  ‘What?’ Molly interrupted, stiffening in shock.

  ‘Miss Pandora, madam,’ Ogden clarified, in his innocence evidently thinking that she might not have recognised that surname. ‘Would you like the number of the restaurant or would you prefer to leave a message?’

  ‘Neither…thank you.’ Molly replaced the receiver again.

  So Pandora was already back in London. No doubt she’d headed straight for Sholto like a homing pigeon—as she always did in times of trouble. That was a recognised pattern of Pandora’s, Molly conceded thoughtfully. And why was it part of the beautiful blonde’s pattern? Because Pandora loved him. ‘A problem I hadn’t seen developing suddenly created a major crisis,’ Sholto had said of their first wedding day. Had that problem been his belated realisation that his cousin cherished far from platonic feelings for him? And did he feel that admitting that Pandora had loved him or indeed still loved him would be too much of a betrayal of the other woman? Was that why he hadn’t just told her the truth?

  She heard a car raking up the gravel beyond the tall windows and wandered abstractedly over to see who it was. It was Sholto’s black Ferrari. Her heart hammered with sudden intense relief as Sholto emerged and then sank in horror all the way down to her toes as a shining blonde head and a pair of long, gorgeous legs appeared out of the passenger side…Pandora!

  It took Molly precisely one split second to back away from the window before she could be seen. They were supposed to be out eating somewhere together. Why on earth had he brought Pandora here with him instead? A frown of bewilderment and frank dismay on her face, she heard the harried tap-tap of the housekeeper’s shoes across the hall as the bell shrilled and shrilled with savage impatience. Sholto had run into the barrier of the bolts and chains which were drawn once the daily staff went home at five. There was a mutter of voices and then the drawing-room door opened abruptly and Pandora stood framed on the threshold.

  The blonde dealt Molly an uneasy, strained look and then glanced over her shoulder at Sholto. ‘Oh, do go away and leave us alone,’ she said almost pleadingly. ‘I hereby swear and promise that I will not say a single word to upset your wife.’

  Closing the door, Pandora moved deeper into the room and settled herself tautly down in an armchair. ‘I don’t know where to begin…’ she confessed. ‘But then I’ve never been that great at acknowledging my mistakes and saying sorry.’

  ‘Why do you feel you have to say sorry?’ Molly asked uncomfortably.

  Pandora grimaced. ‘Because I was a real bitch the whole time you were engaged to Sholto and I knew you were outside that door that day and I didn’t warn him then or even tell him later,’ she admitted ruefully. ‘I wanted you to think that he only married you because you could give him kids… I hated you and I wanted to spoil things for you any way that I could.’

  ‘You were successful,’ Molly conceded.

  Pandora winced but her troubled gaze held steady. ‘I’m not the same person I was in those days. I was all mixed up and terribly unhappy and I’m not like that any more,’ she stated with quiet confidence. ‘Sholto was a major part of my life then. I was very dependent on him and when he got engaged to you I started to panic and feel threatened…’

  ‘You were in love with him,’ Molly said with wry sympathy.

  ‘No…not in the sense that you mean.’ Pandora stood up again to walk over to the window, her restive tension unconcealed. ‘Sholto should’ve told you everything and then you might have understood. My problems back then all stemmed from a rather gruesome childhood.’ She glanced back at Molly, blue eyes pained but steady. ‘My father was a violent man. He battered my mother and when she cheated him of that outlet by dying from a heart attack he used his fists on me instead.’

  ‘Oh, no…’ Molly mumbled in sick disconcertion.

  ‘He kept me away from school if he marked me too obviously. Often I had to lie and pretend I’d had an accident. Our housekeeper knew what he was doing but she valued her job and just pretended it wasn’t happening… and in any case I was ashamed of it,’ Pandora admitted starkly. ‘I was the golden girl everyone thought had everything and I didn’t want people to know the truth. In a sense I helped my father to keep on doing that to me.’

  ‘It must have been a nightmare,’ Molly murmured with very real sympathy.

  ‘When I was sixteen, Sholto called in out of the blue one day to pay us a visit. We hadn’t seen him in years. My father was at work. I was at home nursing a couple of broken ribs,’ Pandora delineated harshly. ‘But Sholto saw the bruises on my arms and he wasn’t so easily fooled. He got the whole story out of me and drove straight back to London to tell his father.’

  ‘Thank God for that,’ Molly whispered.

  Pandora grimaced. ‘The same day, Riccardo Cristaldi confronted my father. He told him that he intended to inform the social services and apply for custody of me. My father couldn’t face that size of a disgrace…’ Her voice wavered tellingly.

  ‘And that’s why he shot himself,’ Molly inserted in appalled realisation, slowly feeling her way down onto a seat.

  ‘I went to live with the Cristaldis in Rome but three months later Sholto’s parents died in that air crash. I was supposed to have counselling and all that sort of thing but I refused,’ Pandora revealed ruefully, ‘I didn’t want to discuss what had happened to me with strangers. I thought I could just put it behind me. And for a long time I believed I had. But every relationship I tried to have with a man went wrong and the only constant in my life was Sholto. I was never jealous of his girlfriends until you came along…and then suddenly he didn’t have the same time for me and I got more and more frantic—’
>
  ‘You really don’t need to tell me any more,’ Molly interrupted.

  ‘I owe it to Sholto.’ Her beautiful face stiffened. ‘I wasn’t really in love with him, it was just that I was so scared of losing the one man I had ever really cared about and trusted. I got it into my head that that could be the foundation for something more… On your wedding day, I just snapped. I wept all over him and told him how much I loved him. He was devastated. Since he certainly couldn’t encourage me, all he could do was assure me that he would always be there for me as a friend. You know what happened the night of your wedding…’

  ‘Yes,’ Molly confirmed reluctantly.

  That was the most selfish thing of all that I did. I wanted to make him suffer for not returning my feelings,’ Pandora confessed uncomfortably.

  An awkward silence fell.

  ‘I’m terribly sorry about that newspaper article,’ Molly breathed heavily.

  ‘Forget it,’ Pandora advised ruefully. ‘I cost you your marriage and you lost me a few friends. But something positive did come out of it—for me anyway. Sholto finally managed to persuade me to go for counselling and I haven’t looked back since then. I’ll always be very fond of him but I have my own life now and I also have Armando.’ A warm smile softened her lips, a warmth Molly had never thought to see on that once coolly beautiful face.

  ‘You do?’ Molly questioned helplessly. ‘I thought—’

  ‘A silly tiff and me getting cold feet before I finally commit myself.’ Pandora laughed, flashing the opulent engagement ring adorning her left hand. ‘My dress is being made in London. That’s why I’m over here. Are you going to come to our wedding?’